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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sandhya Question by Sandhya on Apr 10, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Actually I'm in a relationship and he is loving someone already he is getting Marry also her only this everything I know already but he is really happy with me even I love him but he promised to marry her so only he is getting Marry her because that promise he can't break but he loves me so much now we both r crying thinking about this all now what can do

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are going through a difficult situation. It can be incredibly painful to be in love with someone who is committed to another person.

It's important to remember that your partner has made a commitment to someone else and is planning to marry that person. While it may be tempting to hold onto the hope that they will leave their current partner for you, it's also important to be realistic about the situation and respect their choices.

It's also important to consider your own feelings and needs in this situation. Are you willing to continue a relationship with someone who is committed to someone else? Are you willing to share your partner's love and attention with someone else? These are difficult questions to consider, but it's important to be honest with yourself about what you're willing to accept in a relationship.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you're feeling and what you want out of the relationship. However, it's important to be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not be able to give you what you want or need.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship or move on is up to you. It may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist as you navigate this challenging situation.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My boyfriend of last 2.5 years who is 25 years old and has a 11 years age gap with me has decided to get married to someone else as per families choice. I am writing to understand few things: we started of casually where i proposed to him. He initially hesitated and after thinking for few days, also wanted to start the relationship. Later time went by we became involved at deeper levels. We spent majority of the times together, have shared goals, we lookout for each other. He doesn't state his feelings very often. He takes care, enjoys spending time, we planned tris together, we know our families but not that we are involved. He takes care of many things and it was almost like a live-in. Now and then he used to come up and tell we should stop, I'll be like give us time when rhe thing about marriage comes we will see. Now the thing is initially when he wanted to leave he was telling we are like Radha and Krishna, now when i am standing my ground that i can't see him with another girl, he is telling i was never in love with you. He never tells i love you and i have accepted it that way. Now he is telling me that it was my thoughts that we are in love but he was never in love. Im a person well established in my field and holding 3 degrees , pursuing further Higher Education. He needed me during his studies, ive told it to him multiple times that you needed me when you had work. Ive inspired him to do things he never thought of. But now it is firing back. I was a mentor, a friend, a girlfriend, a cook, an everything. Where did i go wrong to think that it is love? What do i do? I feel jealous to see him with anyone. Please guide
Ans: His sudden change in behavior—claiming he was never in love—seems like a way to distance himself emotionally because of family pressure. It doesn’t mean you were wrong in your feelings; it shows he might have been conflicted all along.

Seeing him with someone else hurts, and that’s natural. You’ve given so much of yourself, and it’s hard to accept that it wasn’t reciprocated in the way you hoped. Right now, focus on healing and remember that you deserve someone who values you fully. Take the time you need to process this, and know that you didn’t do anything wrong. This is more about his struggles than anything you did.

Moving forward, it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being. This situation may require some time to process and heal from, and it's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this time. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor who can help you navigate these emotions and start focusing on your own needs and future.

In time, you might come to realize that this relationship, while significant, wasn’t the only path to happiness and fulfillment. You deserve a partner who reciprocates your love, acknowledges your worth, and is willing to build a future with you. For now, give yourself permission to grieve, but also start thinking about how you can rebuild your sense of self and eventually open up to new possibilities in your life.

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Dr Anshuman

Dr Anshuman Manaswi  |6 Answers  |Ask -

Plastic-Aesthetic Surgeon, Emergency Care Consultant - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dear Doctor, I work as a corporate lawyer in Delhi. I’ve been considering undergoing a cosmetic procedure for my skin for some time now, but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the number of surgeons available. I want to ensure that I choose someone who is experienced, as this is a big decision for me. Could you advise what I should look for when selecting a plastic-aesthetic surgeon? Are there any specific red flags I should be aware of when researching potential surgeons? I want to make sure I’m in safe hands. I’m 40 years old.
Ans: This is a beautiful question.
Before I dwell on your question, there are a few points which are very important for the patient to know.
1. You should roughly know what result you wish to have.
2. Never think of a perfect result. There is no such result.
3. You must think in terms of improvement and if you are sble to achieve more than 90% approx, it can be considred good.
4. Dont compare your results with any celebrity's result. There body structure is different, they have probably taken better care till now and importantly, the result you see on a public platform is after make up and not the real result. Some times it may be a photoshopped image
5. Let your doctor know if you have any medical history and addictions.
6. Don't go with pre concieved notion (especially if you have researched a lot online). Discuss with the doctor, listen to his/ her views and raise your concerns if any
7. Try and see some results of the doctors work (Remember, too good a result may not be the true result). Realistic result is what you should want to look at and believe.
8. Don't fall for less budget! its obvious a meticulous job needs more surgical time. This means that the doctor may charge more. Seniority also adds to the cost.
What I mean, there is a price to be paid for a good job.(whether medical or anywhere).
Now coming to the Plastic surgeon's choice.
1. Research well, but dont fall prey to only advertisement. Small and big centers, both advertise,
2. Dont fall for glamour. You are going to a surgeon. A plastic surgeon's clinic is clean but not lavish generally. At least I believe that the person coming is not a client, but a patient. A patient - Doctor relationship is more pure than a client-Professional relationship.
3. Talk and discuss with the doctor. A too busy doctor may not always be the best doctor for you. Plastic surgery is about thinking, planning and execution. A doctor who thinks aloud about your problem ( especially if ut us face, nose, breast etc) is applying his/ her knowledge for your betterment, because every oerson is different.
4. Check the resilts? Look for genuinity.
5. Be wary of arrogant, loud and boisterous people. There is a difference between confidence and fambloyence.
6. Doctors who are attached to reputed hospitals are generally good in their work.
7. A doctor who can talk about probable complications is also a doctor worth trusting.
I hope I am able to do justice to this difficult question. All the best. You can write again if you need any other clarifications.
Dr. Anshuman Manaswi

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