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Ravi Mittal |191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi

So, We are in an 7yrs relationship. We both loved each other very much. But his parents didn't approve our marriage bcz of caste issue. So he decided to gave up. But I'm not in this situation to accept this & move on. I can't move on. What can we do? What can i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. It is never easy to let go of a relationship, especially a long-term one where you have emotionally invested for years. I am sure your partner put up a fight with his parents and only when he realized that it would not work out, he decided to give up. If you think about it, marrying into a family that does not accept you specifically for your caste would never be a happy experience. I understand that you want to end up with your boyfriend but sometimes we have to make tough choices in life. You don't have to move on immediately, but I would highly recommend you not to try and convince your partner. If he wants to stand up for your relationship, he will. Convincing him to do something that he isn't ready for will not fetch you the desired outcome. Things can end up getting more bitter.

I am sure you have tried communicating with him openly and told him how you are feeling and what is it that you want. Now it's time to give him some space. See what he is doing. You also have to look at it from his perspective. No matter how much he wants to, standing up to your parents is not easy.

Now you wait. See what he does next. Is he contacting you? Is he trying to continue fighting for your relationship? Every step matters. Marriage is a big deal. Don't rush into it. Seven years is nothing compared to an entire lifetime.

I truly believe you deserve better. Don't let such absurd discriminations put you down. Be patient. I'm sure it will work out in the end; one way or another.

Best Wishes!

Relationship1Reply

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Question by SV - May 25, 2022Hindi

I am a doctor and was in relationship with my colleague for 1 year and was planning to marry. But one problem was our religion. He’s Hindu and I am Christian. We did not mind that and he went forward to tell his parents about me but they refused and threatened him to stop talking to me or they will stop his career. We still went forward with our relationship until one day they called him home and fixed a girl for him. He could not say anything in this matter as the whole family got involved and gave him no choice. He told me he tried his best but they did not even want to hear about me. Meanwhile when I'm understanding how difficult inter religion is to work...I’m still heartbroken and cannot stop thinking about him. I was ready to marry him even understanding the whole situation. Now I don't know what to do...I can't go on thinking about him but I still love him and he does too. But we are helpless and I feel like I lost my heart.

Ans:

Dear SV,

The heart can be strong and weak at the same time! Depends on what you have been feeding it through the mind.

When you have understood the difficulties of inter-religion marriages, you still choose to focus on it and pain yourself more.

Do inter-religion marriages work? Yes, they do but it does take a lot of work and keen understanding. And he has already succumbed under family pressure and moved on…So, move on…How?

De-focus…

Focus on things that appealed to you before he stepped into your life.

What interested you back then?

What were these dreams that took a backseat once you started a relationship with this person?

What were the promises that you has made to yourself before this commitment?

Revive them all…Live each one of them in a larger-than-life manner and most importantly, tell yourself: I am my best friend and I know what’s best for me! You are heart is with you; safe and sound!

All the best!

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Ravi Mittal |191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2024Hindi

I'm in love with a person who is not our caste l.I told to my parents when they are searching for a match for me..when they final know about my relationship they was terrified and not in a position to accept my love ..and after 6 months they made my marraige forcely with another man who is my relative...so after my marriage on first night day ..i said to hike this is a forced marriage and about my past . Now he is blaming me everything and my parents are forcing me to be with him...but I'm not accepting him ..I can't be with him...what to do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing. I understand that it must be heartbreaking to have to let go of your love merely because of a difference in caste and even worse to have to forcefully marry someone you don't love. I suggest you have a clear discussion with both your partner and parents if you think you cannot remain in the marriage. Try to convince them that you are not happy and consider separation. It can be difficult to persuade the people we call family and some choices might even hurt them, but you still have to make them understand if your peace and happiness depend on them. Remember you are an adult who is allowed to have her own emotions and choices. If you choose to separate from your partner, it is okay.

Best Wishes!

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