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Ravi Mittal  |601 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

So, We are in an 7yrs relationship. We both loved each other very much. But his parents didn't approve our marriage bcz of caste issue. So he decided to gave up. But I'm not in this situation to accept this & move on. I can't move on. What can we do? What can i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. It is never easy to let go of a relationship, especially a long-term one where you have emotionally invested for years. I am sure your partner put up a fight with his parents and only when he realized that it would not work out, he decided to give up. If you think about it, marrying into a family that does not accept you specifically for your caste would never be a happy experience. I understand that you want to end up with your boyfriend but sometimes we have to make tough choices in life. You don't have to move on immediately, but I would highly recommend you not to try and convince your partner. If he wants to stand up for your relationship, he will. Convincing him to do something that he isn't ready for will not fetch you the desired outcome. Things can end up getting more bitter.

I am sure you have tried communicating with him openly and told him how you are feeling and what is it that you want. Now it's time to give him some space. See what he is doing. You also have to look at it from his perspective. No matter how much he wants to, standing up to your parents is not easy.

Now you wait. See what he does next. Is he contacting you? Is he trying to continue fighting for your relationship? Every step matters. Marriage is a big deal. Don't rush into it. Seven years is nothing compared to an entire lifetime.

I truly believe you deserve better. Don't let such absurd discriminations put you down. Be patient. I'm sure it will work out in the end; one way or another.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello..I met him on Jan 4 th of 2024.. this year he is not with me. We were in a relationship for almost 8 months. Everything was fine and blissful. Last December he told me he needs some time to decide about our relationship. First of all it was a blow to my confidence..I thought he will stay by my side no matter what it is. After a few days he told me he wants to move on. I was in no contact for 10 days. After I went back and called him..he told me he is talking with another girl and he likes her and going to marry her. My world was broken. The reason for this? Our horoscopes doesn't match also he brings up caste differences even though there is not much difference. We were each other's best friends cared and loved each other so much. Stood by eachother's tough times..I begged him I cried d...I lost all my self respect..I somehow wanted to keep him with me...but he threw me away. It pains a lot. I haven't recovered yet..but he is going to marry her very soon...the toughest part here is I have to see him everyday atleast for the next 6 months. How will I handle if he gets engaged? How will I handle when he gives out his wedding cards? I have big goals in life I want to achieve them. But I am terrified what if it all crumbles because of my inability to handle this pain and suffering? What should I do? Your suggestion is very much needed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You did invest too much of yourself in him; but who can stop the way feelings move, right?
As hard as it maybe to accept this reality, move on...initially, it will be painful, but it's not worth losing yourself to anyone. Protect your identity and know that it does not stem from anyone or anything BUT it's YOU who defines it.
Maybe the past year that you lost time and could not focus on your goals, this year can be your year. Let him do what he needs to; why focus on someone who did not have the decency or courage to tell you things on your face. What will you gain by actually being with a person like that? I am sure you deserve much more...
Your goals and aspirations need you; go for it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Relationship
Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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