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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1180 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu, I am a 58 year old businessman and am very well to do. I am married for the last 36 years and have 2 adult children, a 28 year old son and a daughter who is 25 years. I expect my son to take over my business. Since 2010 I have been in an affair with a woman who is 12 years younger to me. I wish to marry her even after 13 years of relationship. I even sought a divorce with my wife who is also a director in my company. Her demands are so high that it will leave me a pauper. I cannot leave this girl in the lurch. She is now 45 and unmarried. Now after 13 years she too has started demanding probably due to growing age and insecurity. We regularly have sex. I have not slept with my wife for over 12 years now. I consulted many lawyers but all said that mine is a hopeless case. to top it all, my other directors have also ganged up against me in support of my wife. My children too are against me so much so that they do not allow me in my own house. My girl friend is getting increasingly demanding and calling and telling me if I do not give her money or marry her she will go to court. She is now saying that since her siblings have dissociated her from their family I should give her INR 10 crores + a 3 BHK flat. I do have 2 mercedes benz, a skodia yeti, a harley davidson, a small farm house in Wai, a bungalow in Alibag in addition to a plush 5 bhk flat in Thane. What should do? Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How does Love turn into Greed?
And you still 'wish' to get married to her after all her demands? It's blackmail for heaven's sake!
At least for now, kindly realign with your family...Your wealth and assets must be protected.
What evidence does your girlfriend have against you to go to court and intimidate you this way?

Please take a firm stance and choose the side that protects your wealth and also your personal identity. You have put yourself at grave risk and for what? You will end up losing your family as well. Your girlfriend being alienated by her siblings has nothing to do with you...so why would you pay her? It doesn't make any sense. Once you yield to blackmail, it will continue...and who knows for how long!

Choose a side wisely and then stick by it firmly...I am sure you know what is to be done...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1180 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Relationship
Hi, I am stuck in my marriage relationship for some time now. I had an arranged marriage to a girl we knew in our family. She had lost her father and her mother begged me to marry her and give her a life. I agreed because I knew her. Only recently I realized that she doesn’t love me at all. I earn Rs 30,000 a month and we stay in my father’s 1BHK flat which he has shared in my name. She wants a share of my property and wants to separate me from my family. She is now threatening to divorce me and file a complaint against my parents and me for forcing her into marriage. Her mother is also quiet and doesn’t interfere. My parents are very troubled. They can’t do anything and I am feeling stuck. If I have to divorce her, I will have to pay her money which I can’t afford. Also I cannot stay with her because she doesn’t want to live with us. She only wants my money. How to solve this problem? I don’t understand. Please help.
Ans: Dear AD, Kindly consult a good lawyer who is unbiased about divorce and client rights if divorce is the path that you want to take.

Lawyers on both sides can strike a good agreement and it can be settled through mutual consent.

If you want to settle the matter amicably and continue live under the same roof, I guess it requires everyone to set aside their differences and talk about it; and I only hope for your sake that, that can happen.

Whichever the path, never tread on the path of helplessness. Instead move to a space that empowers you in any which way.

Best wishes as always!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1180 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2023Hindi
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Dear Anu, I am married for 24 years having two grown up children. Both are studying. My wife is not working. She had been adamant and spendthrift since the beginning of our marriage. Just to maintain peace I was putting up with her undue demands. Than in last decade my business suffered for quite sometime still I sold some property and managed the household expenses. Than in 2017 the business started picking up and it started doing well. but having learned the lesson I became very firm with wasteful expenses. And by end of 2017 she broke all ties with me, and started sleeping with our daughter in her room. Now since last six years we are hardly talking to each other despite living in the same house . Her parents are also hand in glove with her and disconnected with me. I also came to know lot of factors about her family. Her father claimed to be a businessman before marriage and later I learned he was working in subcontracts division of a company and making money by illegal means from vendors. He was a heavy drinker and had relations with many women. I also came to know that her father had thrown his father out of house and that old man had died in a temple. To make matter worse her parents are having one more daughter which they claim to be given to some family member and now they don't have any relationship with that girl or the couple to whom they have given their daughter to. So prima facie they have a child or children which they have hidden from society. We attended marriages of her uncle's daughters out of Mumbai. His uncle and his family attended my marriage and marriage of my wife's only brother. Now after all marriages are over they have broken up with that uncle too. He is real brother of my father in law. Her aunty expired two years back I offered to call her uncle and offer condolences she said no need now relationship with uncle is over. With all these I am able to come to a conclusion that the family doesn't value relationships and once their purpose is served they discontinue the relationship. Due to constant problems my children have also become very adamant and are not concentrating on studies. Kindly suggest what should I do in the given situation. Can the marriage be annulled on the grounds her family concealed vital information before marriage. I offered her to go for marriage counselling and therapy but she refused. Please suggest some suitable solution.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Too much of a mess, yeah?
Why they hid certain facts and what impact that has had on your marriage is something that you are experiencing. Relationships are built on trust and honesty leads to that trust. You possibly feel being misled multiple times over and it will indeed affect the mind state of your children.
Good that you have woken up to this NOW.
Are you sure that you want to end this marriage? Or is there a possibility of saving it?
If you want to end it through a legal recourse, find an able lawyer who specializes in divorce cases. She/he will advise you on annulment or mutual consent divorce or filing for one. These options come to a better choice when you seek an expert in legal matters.
In the meantime, keep your mind in a place where it is calm. Too much of muddle and constant over processing will make you have bitter thoughts and keep you engaged in stress building situations.
Accept what's happening (difficult, I know)...but doing this will enable you to take the right decision not only for your life but also for your children. Also, I suggest spend a lot of time with the children and teach them not to take sides of any parent.
Whatever you decide is going to impact them and they must be prepared anyway. So, talk to them like they are grown ups and let them grow into it supporting you both rather than be caught in the cross fire.
I am sure if you have had the courage to understand what has been happening to you, you can surely take additional steps to safeguard your mind space and do what's right for the children as well.
All the best!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 43 yrs old . I have love marriage post 16 yrs of long battle of ups and down in personal life with my fiancee who's my wife now . In these last 16 years also she had affair with 3-4 Mens before returning to me. One of them was her office colleague who's marries now too. For. Last 2 years it was more of a distance relationship whereas she stays in one town and am in other coz of our job commitments. I had promised her to fulfill financial goals such as change in job better financial stability house car honeymoon in abroad but due to financial limitation and medical emergencies with mother I couldn't manage her expectations. Now she is saying she has given me enough time and asked for. Mutual divorce. She has filed in court also. Unwillingly just to keep her words I signed docs but I didn't want divorce Infact I love her blindly. Meanwhile I came to realize she has stated affair with same Ex colleague of been offoce who's posted t some other place. She is pressuring him to get divorce from existing wife and move on in their life post our divorce. That guy is just using her physically and financially. That guy has bought apartment by borrowing 1 Mn INR from my wife whereas in last 2 years if my medical emergency she has never ever helped with even 10k and always shows me as a bigger for. Money. I know end result would be divorce as she wants the same and now openly she is enjoying her days and weekends with that guy. Have told to her family members but being financially independent she hardly listens to anyone. She is branch manager of govt bank and. I am private job employee. Her age is 33 yrs and her existing boyfriend age is also same. Working in same organisation. I am helpless what to do knowing the fact she has been giving herself to her boyfriend. In marriage relationship she has betrayed me again. She is asking for divorce to look after her rest of life in better way. I don't know what to do I loved her blindly n still do.
Ans: She has not betrayed you. Your relationship with her appears to be transactional. You don't love her. You are just needy because you don't have any other options. My advice is to give her divorce and move on. If you need help with that, you can reach out to me.

She doesn't owe you anything. Take your own responsibility as a man and get a better woman who loves you

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6505 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 05, 2024

Money
Hello, This is Capt. Samir. I have invested in mutual funds and doing an SIP of 70k per month. Would like to know if the mutual funds that I have invested in are good to hold and the corpus that can be generated in the next 10 years. I am looking forward for a 2 cr corpus by 2034 from MF. Kindly advise if SIP needs to be increased to generate the said corpus. Mutual Funds DSP-Global innovation FOF-Reg fund -G -3000 Sip WHITEOAK flexi cap reg fund- 3000 SIP CANARA REBECCO Mid cap fund - 3000 SIP HDFC Business fund- 200000 LUMPSUM HDFC top 30 fund - 3000 SIP Aditya Birla frontline equity fund - 2 folios - 3000 SIP in one only DSP small cap fund- 5000 HDFC small cap fund- 5000 Merai asset large cap fund-5000 ICICI prudential Blue chip fund-5000 Canara Rebecco manufacturing fund Growth - 5000 Kotak focused equity fund -5000 JM midcap fund Growth - 5000 SBI ENERGY OPPORTUNITIES FUND - 400,000 LUMPSUM Kotak Multicap fund: 5000 ICICI PRU energy and fund: 5000 HDFC Nifty 200 momentum30 index fund- 10000 HSBC EXPORT OPPORTUNITIES FUND - 3L lumpsum Thanks Samir
Ans: It’s great to see that you are already investing consistently and have a target in mind. Your aim of generating Rs 2 crore by 2034 from mutual fund investments is achievable with a systematic approach. Let's break down your current investment strategy and assess whether any adjustments are needed to meet your goal.

Review of Your Existing SIPs and Lump Sum Investments
You are currently investing Rs 70,000 per month through SIPs and have made some lump-sum investments as well. Let's evaluate the funds you have chosen based on their category, diversification, and potential for long-term growth.

Global Innovation Fund: This fund gives you exposure to international markets, which helps diversify your portfolio. Keep an eye on global market trends, but this fund can add value if the global tech and innovation sectors grow.

Flexi Cap and Mid Cap Funds: Flexi Cap and Mid Cap funds offer a balance of growth potential and risk. They tend to outperform in the long run, but they also come with volatility. These funds are good to hold for a long-term horizon.

Lump Sum Investments in Sector-Specific Funds (Energy and Manufacturing): Sector-specific funds can be high-risk but may offer high returns if the sector performs well. The energy sector has potential but may be volatile due to factors like government policies, oil prices, and global energy trends. Manufacturing is more stable but less likely to deliver aggressive returns. Keep these funds for diversification, but be cautious.

Small Cap Funds: You have exposure to two small cap funds. While small cap funds can offer high returns, they come with high volatility. Keep in mind that small cap funds should ideally not exceed 20% of your portfolio due to their risk profile.

Large Cap and Blue Chip Funds: Large Cap funds are a safer bet in the long term and provide stability. They might not offer the highest returns but will protect your capital. Continue your SIPs in these funds.

Focused Equity Funds: These funds invest in a limited number of stocks, which can give concentrated returns but also carry higher risk. As you are looking for a long-term goal, these funds can add value, but balance them with more diversified funds.

Index Funds: While index funds are low-cost, they track the index and may not offer outperformance. Actively managed funds can give you better returns over the long term. If you are invested in index funds, consider reviewing their performance and reallocating to actively managed funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

Is Your Portfolio Diversified Enough?
Your portfolio has a good mix of different fund categories—small cap, mid cap, flexi cap, and large cap. You also have exposure to international markets and sectoral funds. However, be cautious about over-investing in small caps and sectoral funds due to their high volatility. Consider reducing the allocation to sectoral funds if their performance dips.

Will You Achieve Rs 2 Crore by 2034?
You aim to accumulate Rs 2 crore by 2034. Based on your current SIP amount, it is important to assess if this is enough. Considering an average return of 12% per annum from your mutual funds, Rs 70,000 per month SIPs may get you close to your target. However, it is wise to periodically review your portfolio and step up your SIP amount by 10-15% every year to stay on track.

Recommendation:

Increase your SIP amount: If possible, increase your SIPs by 10% every year to boost your corpus and mitigate the impact of inflation.
Step-Up SIPs: Some mutual funds offer a "Step-Up SIP" option where you can increase your monthly SIP amount automatically by a fixed percentage every year. This will help you stay on track for your Rs 2 crore goal.
Lump Sum vs SIPs
Lump sum investments can boost your corpus, but they depend on market timing. Since you already have a few lump-sum investments, it’s good to continue with SIPs to average out market volatility. If you come into additional funds, like a bonus or windfall, consider allocating some towards lump sum investments in diversified funds.

Expense Ratios and Fund Performance
It’s important to regularly monitor the expense ratios of the funds you are invested in. High expense ratios can eat into your returns over the long term. Actively managed funds with high expense ratios should justify the cost with higher returns. If you find that the returns are not justifying the high costs, consult a Certified Financial Planner to switch to better-performing funds with reasonable expenses.

Managing Risk and Rebalancing
Your current portfolio leans towards high-risk, high-return funds like small caps and sectoral funds. As you approach your target year, start reducing exposure to high-risk funds and shift more towards stable funds like large caps and flexi caps. This will help preserve your capital and reduce volatility.

Every year or two, review your portfolio and rebalance it. For example, if small caps have outperformed, they may now constitute a larger portion of your portfolio than you originally planned. Rebalance by selling some small cap units and buying more large cap or flexi cap units.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
Apart from investing in mutual funds, ensure that you have an emergency fund that covers 6-12 months of your expenses. This will protect you from dipping into your investments in case of unforeseen financial needs.

You already have a term insurance plan, which is great. Ensure that the sum assured is adequate to cover your family's financial needs in case of an emergency.

Tax Planning
Remember to account for taxation when planning your investment strategy. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds are taxed at 10% for gains above Rs 1 lakh. Plan your withdrawals strategically to minimize tax liabilities.

You can also invest in ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) funds to save on taxes under Section 80C. ELSS funds have a 3-year lock-in period and provide both tax benefits and market-linked returns.

Final Insights
Your current portfolio is well-diversified but high on risk.
Keep track of expense ratios and switch funds if necessary.
Step up your SIPs annually by 10-15% to meet your Rs 2 crore target.
Rebalance your portfolio every year to manage risk.
Maintain an emergency fund and ensure adequate insurance coverage.
Consider tax-saving strategies like ELSS to optimize your investments.
With a disciplined approach and periodic reviews, your goal of Rs 2 crore by 2034 is achievable.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |164 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Oct 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2024Hindi
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Money
I’m Kavya from Varanasi. I am 33 with one daughter, aged 5. My husband and I both have health and life insurance policies. We’re considering adding a critical illness rider to our insurance. Is this a good idea for additional protection?
Ans: Hello Kavya,
Adding a critical illness (CI) rider to your existing health and life insurance policies can be a valuable way to enhance your financial protection. Here are some key points to consider:

What is a Critical Illness Rider?

A critical illness rider is an add-on to your existing insurance policy that provides a lump-sum payment if you are diagnosed with one of the specified critical illnesses covered by the policy. Common illnesses covered include cancer, heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, and major organ transplants, among others.

Benefits of Adding a CI Rider:

1. Financial Support During Recovery:
• Medical Expenses: Helps cover treatments that might not be fully covered by your regular health insurance.
• Living Expenses: Provides funds to manage daily expenses if you're unable to work during recovery.

2. Flexibility:

• The lump sum can be used as you see fit, whether for medical bills, mortgage payments, or other financial obligations.

3. Peace of Mind:

• Offers additional security knowing that you have extra coverage in case of a serious illness.

Considerations Before Adding a CI Rider:

1. Coverage and Definitions:

• Illness List: Ensure the rider covers a broad range of illnesses relevant to your age and family medical history.
• Definitions and Criteria: Understand the specific definitions and diagnostic criteria for each covered illness.

2. Cost:

• Premium Increases: Adding a CI rider will increase your premium. Evaluate whether the additional cost fits within your budget.
• Affordability: Consider how the increased premiums affect your overall financial plan.

3. Exclusions and Limitations:

• Pre-existing Conditions: Check if any existing health conditions might exclude you from coverage.
• Survival Period: Some policies require you to survive a certain period after diagnosis to receive the benefit.

4. Policy Terms:

• Claim Process: Understand the process for filing a claim and the documentation required.
• Renewability: Ensure the rider remains in force for as long as you need it, without excessive increases in premiums.

5. Existing Coverage:

• Overlap: Review your current health and life insurance policies to identify any overlapping benefits.
• Gap Analysis: Determine if there are gaps in coverage that the CI rider would effectively fill.

Personal Considerations:

• Health Status: Both you and your husband’s current health status and family medical history can influence the necessity of a CI rider.
• Financial Obligations: Consider your financial responsibilities, such as your daughter's education, mortgage, or other long-term commitments.
• Risk Tolerance: Assess your comfort level with the potential financial risks associated with critical illnesses.

Next Steps:

1. Evaluate Your Needs:

• Assess your current financial situation, obligations, and the level of protection you desire.

2. Compare Policies:

• Look at different insurers and the specific terms of their CI riders to find the best fit for your needs.

3. Consult a Professional:

• Speak with a certified financial advisor or insurance agent who can provide personalized advice based on your circumstances.

Adding a critical illness rider can offer valuable protection and peace of mind, but it's essential to carefully evaluate how it fits into your overall financial plan. By considering the factors above and consulting with a professional, you can make an informed decision that best suits your family's needs.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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