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Anu Krishna  |1465 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |340 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Career
Dear Professor I am 53 years old. Happily married having grown up kids 23 and 19. Recently I lost my job and unable to find a new one. It has been three months I am very scared of my future although I have savings of approximately 1.80 crore and a nice house. My elder son is in the final stages of settling abroad and my younger one will also follow him. I am afraid with little savings and kids settling abroad how I will survive and who will look after me in our old age? Now I also feel guilty about looking after my aged parents living with my divorced sister at my ancestral place although they are financially well off. I was very enthusiastic and successful in my career but since I lost my job I have also lost my confidence and zeal in life. I am feeling very low. I was already on medication for stress and hypertension before I lost my job. Please advise.
Ans: In Indian Scenario your saving is not bad provided you don't have any educational loan for your children. If you keep 1.8 Crores in SBI as a FD you will get per month approx interest INR-123000/- per month, though IT will be applicable. It's not a good amount if I consider a good life style. But I suggest you to find a new job and connect different people in LINKEDIN. What is your qualification? What kind of job you were doing? Let me know all the details related to your job profile. I can imagine your situation. It is just like thrown from an aircraft in high altitude without parachute. Insecurity is very natural. Please furnish the details so that I can guide you in a better way. Don't break down. Everything will be OK, it's a matter of time. Best of luck. Professor..............................:)

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