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Lost Love Chance Due to Office Gossip? 45-Year-Old Man Seeks Advice

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |536 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Sir, I am 45 yrs, married person with a son. My relations with wife is zero due to her health problem. In my office one lady faculty of 32 yrs with daughter, speaks and behave very sweetly with me. I feel she likes me and i also like her. So i invited her for coffee on one day. She came and we spent more than one hour about speaking on each other's personal things. After few days i again invited her for coffee. She also accepted it. But this time, i mistakenly told about this one of office friend, who is very jealous to us. It goes viral in office. Now that lady stopped talking to me and blocked me from her contacts. May i lost the chance of love with her due to this mistake?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are assuming that your lady-friend liked you romantically; she could've considered you a good friend- good friends can have coffee together too. Maybe the reason she blocked you is that you misread the relationship and even discussed it with someone in the office. And since you mentioned you have a wife and she has health issues as well, how do you think things would have worked out between you and your lady friend, even if you knew for a fact that she is interested in you? I suggest you move on from this and also consider opening up to your wife about how the lack of intimacy in your marriage is pushing you to look for the same feelings outside.

Best Wishes.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi. I am Sumeet I am happily married. And love my wife and our two kids.I had a female friend in our engineering college I had crush on her and I have said her this. She is happily married and I am very happy for her. I was in touch with her but now some how our companies in which we work have joint ventures and we both are working on same project. Initially she was nice to me but one day, we had phot session and I decide to click one with her and I simply par her shoulder back and kept for photo click but she got too angry and I apologised to her for whole day. But then she did not talk properly henceforth. I felt I am molester and I visit psychiatrist they asked me to forget that incident and move. Now she does not talk with me nicely.i don't know what should I do.
Ans: It's understandable that this situation with your former college friend is causing you stress and confusion. However, it's important to acknowledge that touching someone without their consent, even if unintentional, is never acceptable. Even though you meant no harm, it's crucial to respect your friend's boundaries and understand her reaction.

Here are some suggestions for navigating this situation:

1. Respect your friend's boundaries: While your intentions might have been innocent, it's clear your friend felt uncomfortable with the physical contact. Respecting her boundaries and apologizing sincerely are crucial steps. It might be helpful to have a brief, direct conversation where you reiterate your apology and emphasize that you understand and respect her discomfort.

2. Maintain professionalism: Given that you're working on the same project, maintain a professional and respectful distance. Avoid initiating personal conversations or any physical contact. Focus on work-related communication and interactions.

3. Reflect on your actions: Consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist to explore your thought patterns and behaviors concerning personal boundaries. This can help you develop healthier ways to interact with others and avoid similar situations in the future.

4. Forgive yourself: Remember that while it's important to acknowledge and learn from your actions, dwelling on guilt won't be productive. Forgive yourself for the unintentional mistake and focus on moving forward with respect and understanding.

5. Focus on your marriage: Remember that you have a loving wife and family. Reinvest your energy into strengthening your relationships with them and prioritize their well-being.

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Dr Dipankar

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Feb 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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I've joined offline PW coaching this year and having no guidance at all i didn't knew the ground reality of coachings and stem subjects. I've already spent 1 lakh for 2 year course and now coaching is just draining and managing it with school where coaching is not helping at all even tho they're tied up with the school which is resulting in backlogs. I'm unable to manage self study time to actually focus because if my basics aren't clear then how am I supposed to do the advanced ones. I'm thinking to leave the coaching, there's also a lot of pressure and demotivation from parents as they think I'm the one causing the problems but if I had known about it then I wouldn't have chosen coaching at all, I don't have any issues with the subjects I chose for me as I do I want know and learn them but not this way with issues where even the teachers are not supportive
Ans: Assess the Value: Reflect on whether the coaching sessions are enhancing your understanding of subjects or if they're contributing to confusion and backlogs. If the latter is true, it may be worth reconsidering your enrollment.

Discuss with Stakeholders: Communicate your concerns with your parents and, if possible, the coaching administration. They might offer solutions such as adjusted schedules or additional support.

You can do self study with the help of online material. PW and khan academy have free online martials. In my opinion self study is the best way of learning. On an average you have study 8 to 10 hours per day.

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