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Anu Krishna |1805 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2023Hindi

I am a 45 years old Indian living in the US for the past 10 years with the family. Despite having a steady job and a pay which typically is considered high, I end up spending more than my income. My wife also works full time with good pay as well but she thinks it's my responsibility to provide and she just saves all her money in her own accounts. We have multiple properties on both our names including cars but only I pay. I pay for groceries, bills, travel everything. On discussing about the expenses, which I have done multiple times so far, she says I should be ashamed to expect money from a woman. If this continues, I will reach retirement age kind of broke I feel. Also, I will spend sleepless nights thinking about finances until then. Please advice.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like in any partnership, marriage is one such partnership where everything is usually shared. But I do know of couples, where they mutually agree that one partner takes care of the bills and the other education etc.
In your case, your wife has been saving up and you have been bleeding dry of your finances.
But why exactly are you spending more than your income? Financial mismanagement? Maybe that's why your wife is worried that it might happen to her portion of the income too?
Having said that, I guess your wife also needs to move past the belief that the Man is solely responsible for bringing money home. By that logic, she should never have worked, right?

Since she is working as well, she can contribute towards the family to the extent it can help but it is also imperative that as a woman she keeps some finances saved as a back-up for herself. It provides a good safety blanket for a woman since she possibly feels that you are spending more than what you earn.
It's up to you to bring about the subject without her feeling that you are out to spend all her money. So, you really need to start with managing your finances better...I am sure things will get better from thereon...

All the best!

Asked on - Dec 04, 2025 | Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Ma'am, All the investments we made were based on mutual discussions. She is co-owner in everything. Even the car she drives was bought by me, and I pay. She believes in a marriage the man should remain responsible in financial aspects and also believes its a new world and the man should lend his hand in household chores too. To answer your question on why I am forced to spend more than my income, its because you invest and plan budgets based on certain threshold but over a period of time the inflation and interest rates will push the expense above the threshold. I think this is what happened in my case. I have also been paying for our kids expenses. I am tired of taking care of literally everything.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are back to the Drawing Board again explaining to yourself why things are the way that they are.
If you don't like the way things are, then you are going to have to do something different for the current situation to change.
Do consult a financial planner who can help you factor in the unknowns and make your investments worthwhile. So, the key is for you to want to make subtle changes for your current situation to look and feel better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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