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Anu Krishna |1418 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by ANILKUMAR on Feb 02, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am 43 and my wife is 35yrs old. She is lacking interest in sex and I need it daily. I tried everything from my side but no benifits. This is disturbing our daily life and distance between us is increasing. Does she need medical help or consulting?

Ans: Dear Anilkumar,
Clearly there is a mismatch in what you want and what she wants. So, taking her for medical treatment means that you might also need it...
Instead of this blame game, why don't you try and find out the reason for this lack of interest. Maybe it is tiredness of the day and also if you demand everyday, she might come up with some excuse or the other. Sex is not a mechanical activity; it requires a lot of emotional connection between two people which means you and your wife have to connect better emotionally for sex to happen. New thing for you maybe...but rather than blame her for disturbing daily life, try and be more kind to understand what is exactly bothering her. LISTEN and not DEMAND...
Simply listening and helping her through it might help her become warm towards you and things may improve...

All the best!

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1418 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 06, 2023

Question by Smart Boy - Mar 02, 2023Hindi

Hi Anu, I am 50 years old , my wife doesn’t support me for sex. Previously she used to but now she does hardly once in a month

Ans: Dear Nilesh,
Clearly your wife has lost interest in sex.
Have you found out the reason. It could be physiological or an emotional one. Encourage her to have some tests done as a woman at 50 is undergoing a huge hormonal change due to menopause. Encourage her by saying how beautiful she is and how much you love and appreciate her.
Intimacy cannot be forced; and menopause and onset of it can be very challenging and confusing for a woman, Read up about it or visit a doctor who will tell you about how you can play an active role in being a huge support to your wife during this phase.
Patience also will go a long way in letting her know that no matter what, you stand by her. Understanding this truly will change things for her to allow sex not because you want it but because she desires it to.
So, indulge in a lot of cuddling, kissing and hugging without an expectation of it leading to sex. Eventually, it might happen.
Educate yourself first about all of this and sooner than later, the two of you will be on the same side on this.

All the best!

Kanchan Rai |463 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2023

Question by Vinay - Oct 11, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Mam, i am 46 years old, with two lovely daughters age 20 and 18 , for the last 2 years my wife has lost interest in sex, and she avoids it, we have no other issues , i am not able to understand what in her mind, tried to ask but to no avail, rest everything is fine at home, kindly advise

Ans: I understand that this can be a sensitive and challenging situation for you. Loss of interest in sex can be influenced by a variety of factors, and it's important to approach the issue with empathy and open communication. Here are some steps you can consider:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and non-confrontational conversation with your wife. Choose a time when you both can talk calmly and privately. Express your concerns and let her know that you want to understand what she's going through.
Listen Actively: Encourage her to share her feelings and thoughts. Listen without judgment and be empathetic to her perspective. Sometimes, there may be underlying emotional or psychological issues that need to be addressed.
Rule Out Medical Issues: Loss of interest in sex can be caused by medical factors such as hormonal changes, medication side effects, or health issues. Encourage her to see a healthcare professional to rule out any physical causes.
Consider Counseling: If the issue is more complex and related to emotional or psychological factors, you might want to suggest couples counseling or therapy. A trained therapist can help both of you explore the underlying issues and work on solutions.
Respect Boundaries: It's important to respect her boundaries and not pressure her into anything she's not comfortable with. Pressure can often exacerbate the issue.
Maintain Intimacy: While addressing the issue, it's important to maintain emotional intimacy and closeness in your relationship. This can involve non-sexual affection and activities that promote bonding.
Self-Care: Ensure that both you and your wife are taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. Reducing stress, eating healthily, and exercising can have a positive impact on overall well-being and can indirectly affect the sexual aspect of your relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If your wife is unwilling to discuss the issue or if it persists without a clear resolution, it may be helpful for both of you to seek the guidance of a qualified therapist or counselor individually.
Patience and Understanding: Understand that issues related to sexual desire and intimacy can be complex and may take time to resolve. Be patient with the process and with each other.
It's important to remember that every individual's desires and feelings can change over time, and open communication and understanding are key to addressing these changes in a relationship. Seek professional help if necessary, as a therapist can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation.

Kanchan Rai |463 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 06, 2024Hindi

Relationship

My wife has lost interest in sex from last 15-20 days she says she does not feel like having any carving her age is 41 and all test all normal .We even walk and do exercise daily .Kindly suggest what to do

Ans: It’s not uncommon for women to experience shifts in sexual desire, especially around the age of 41 when hormonal changes can start to subtly occur, even if all medical tests are normal. Stress, emotional factors, or even simple changes in routine can also play a big role in desire.

Since her tests came back normal and you both maintain a healthy lifestyle with walking and exercise, it may be helpful to focus on the emotional and psychological aspects rather than just the physical. Sometimes, a lack of desire can stem from mental fatigue, stress, or even a need for a deeper emotional connection.

You could try creating a more relaxed, intimate environment without the pressure of sex. Focus on spending quality time together—maybe a weekend getaway, a relaxing evening, or just simple, non-sexual physical affection, like cuddling or holding hands, which might help reignite that connection.

Also, open communication is key. Approach the topic with understanding and without pressure. Ask her how she’s feeling, if there’s anything on her mind, or if there’s something she would like to explore together. Sometimes, just talking openly can ease the tension and bring you both closer

Anu Krishna |1418 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2024

Relationship

Hi doctor, I am 40 yrs old and my wife is 38 married for 14 yrs and have 1 kid who is 11 yrs old. We both are working and we only get to spend time on weekend and during weekdays we hardly get time to talk and see each other due to our shift timings. During weekend I do get urge to be intimate with her but she has lost interest and she doesn't have that urge to be intimate, we spoke about this multiple times and she agrees about this fact as we hardly get intimate once in 6 months or may be more than that. I do have that strong urge and don't want to cheat on my wife or go somewhere else to fullfill my sexual needs, but not sure if there can be any medication which will arouse her so that she can participate willingly in having sex. Even if we happen to get in to action she will just lie on the bed like dead with no emotions and she is constantly thinking of something else in her mind like what I need to cook for tomorrow, or did she do that work in office she will ask me to remind about something tomorrow as she has to do certain task, her mind is all over the place except in the act in the present moment, which really turns me off. Please need your help to save our relationship.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Intimacy for a man and women are very different and varied as well.
You cannot NOT connect during the week at an emotional level and then expect your wife to be excited to jump in bed. That's not how it works!
Both of you work which means weekends do get busy with household chores, children and more...there's very little time and energy left for intimate moments.
On your wife's part, she has not learned as yet to leave office work at the office but certainly what to cook for the next day is a huge task if this depends only on her. Why don't the two of you pitch in to distribute the household work between you? That way she does not feel burdened (if she does feel that way)...this also goes a long way in letting her know that you care and you want to help her...
You could also talk about how you can steal some moments after office and before you reach home by meeting at a cafe and sharing time over a cup of coffee. This definitely will make your wife feel more connected and emotionally secure which is a start point to easing of your sexual relationship.
Basically, get back to the dating scene and make your relationship a priority. A great sexual life is a product of the connection that a couple share outside the bedroom and the willingness on the part of the couple to make that happen.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Question by Abhijeet - Dec 30, 2024Hindi

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How to finish home loan faster

Ans: Paying off your home loan early while building wealth requires strategic planning. A parallel SIP in equity mutual funds can complement your goal by leveraging market growth over the long term. Here's a detailed approach:

1. Start a SIP in Equity Mutual Funds
Invest monthly in a diversified equity mutual fund for a period of 7+ years.
Equity funds historically offer higher returns over long periods, outpacing home loan interest rates.
Align your SIP amount with your financial capacity, ensuring consistency.
2. Time the Loan Closure with SIP Maturity
Use the maturity value of the SIP to make a lump sum prepayment towards your loan.
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A 7-10 year SIP period can yield significant growth due to the power of compounding.
3. Continue Regular EMI Payments
Maintain your regular EMIs while running the SIP.
Do not compromise on timely loan payments to avoid penalties.
The parallel strategy reduces your loan tenure effectively when executed with discipline.
4. Focus on High-Interest Loan Years
Prepayments made during the initial years have the highest impact on interest savings.
Coordinate your SIP maturity during this time to maximise loan repayment benefits.
5. Leverage Tax Benefits on Both Ends
Claim tax deductions under Section 80C and Section 24(b) for home loan payments.
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6. Step-Up Your SIP Amount Annually
Increase your SIP amount by 10-15% every year to match income growth.
A higher SIP contribution accelerates wealth accumulation for loan repayment.
7. Avoid Premature Withdrawal from SIP
Do not redeem SIP investments prematurely unless used for loan closure.
The longer you stay invested, the higher the growth potential.
8. Track Loan Tenure and SIP Performance
Regularly review your loan outstanding and SIP performance.
Align your repayment strategy with market conditions and financial goals.
9. Focus on Financial Discipline
Avoid new liabilities while managing your home loan and SIP.
Stick to a budget that prioritises both EMI payments and SIP contributions.
10. Plan for Surplus Investments
Channel any bonuses, tax refunds, or additional income into either SIPs or loan prepayments.
Small additional investments can significantly enhance your repayment capability.
Final Insights
Starting a parallel SIP in equity funds while paying regular EMIs creates a structured pathway to close your home loan early. Over time, the compounded growth from your SIP can ease the financial burden of a lump sum loan prepayment. This balanced strategy ensures financial growth and reduced debt simultaneously.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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