I am 43 and my wife is 35yrs old. She is lacking interest in sex and I need it daily. I tried everything from my side but no benifits. This is disturbing our daily life and distance between us is increasing. Does she need medical help or consulting?

Ans: Dear Nilesh,
Clearly your wife has lost interest in sex.
Have you found out the reason. It could be physiological or an emotional one. Encourage her to have some tests done as a woman at 50 is undergoing a huge hormonal change due to menopause. Encourage her by saying how beautiful she is and how much you love and appreciate her.
Intimacy cannot be forced; and menopause and onset of it can be very challenging and confusing for a woman, Read up about it or visit a doctor who will tell you about how you can play an active role in being a huge support to your wife during this phase.
Patience also will go a long way in letting her know that no matter what, you stand by her. Understanding this truly will change things for her to allow sex not because you want it but because she desires it to.
So, indulge in a lot of cuddling, kissing and hugging without an expectation of it leading to sex. Eventually, it might happen.
Educate yourself first about all of this and sooner than later, the two of you will be on the same side on this.

All the best!

Ans: I understand that this can be a sensitive and challenging situation for you. Loss of interest in sex can be influenced by a variety of factors, and it's important to approach the issue with empathy and open communication. Here are some steps you can consider:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and non-confrontational conversation with your wife. Choose a time when you both can talk calmly and privately. Express your concerns and let her know that you want to understand what she's going through.
Listen Actively: Encourage her to share her feelings and thoughts. Listen without judgment and be empathetic to her perspective. Sometimes, there may be underlying emotional or psychological issues that need to be addressed.
Rule Out Medical Issues: Loss of interest in sex can be caused by medical factors such as hormonal changes, medication side effects, or health issues. Encourage her to see a healthcare professional to rule out any physical causes.
Consider Counseling: If the issue is more complex and related to emotional or psychological factors, you might want to suggest couples counseling or therapy. A trained therapist can help both of you explore the underlying issues and work on solutions.
Respect Boundaries: It's important to respect her boundaries and not pressure her into anything she's not comfortable with. Pressure can often exacerbate the issue.
Maintain Intimacy: While addressing the issue, it's important to maintain emotional intimacy and closeness in your relationship. This can involve non-sexual affection and activities that promote bonding.
Self-Care: Ensure that both you and your wife are taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. Reducing stress, eating healthily, and exercising can have a positive impact on overall well-being and can indirectly affect the sexual aspect of your relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If your wife is unwilling to discuss the issue or if it persists without a clear resolution, it may be helpful for both of you to seek the guidance of a qualified therapist or counselor individually.
Patience and Understanding: Understand that issues related to sexual desire and intimacy can be complex and may take time to resolve. Be patient with the process and with each other.
It's important to remember that every individual's desires and feelings can change over time, and open communication and understanding are key to addressing these changes in a relationship. Seek professional help if necessary, as a therapist can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation.

Ans: It’s not uncommon for women to experience shifts in sexual desire, especially around the age of 41 when hormonal changes can start to subtly occur, even if all medical tests are normal. Stress, emotional factors, or even simple changes in routine can also play a big role in desire.

Since her tests came back normal and you both maintain a healthy lifestyle with walking and exercise, it may be helpful to focus on the emotional and psychological aspects rather than just the physical. Sometimes, a lack of desire can stem from mental fatigue, stress, or even a need for a deeper emotional connection.

You could try creating a more relaxed, intimate environment without the pressure of sex. Focus on spending quality time together—maybe a weekend getaway, a relaxing evening, or just simple, non-sexual physical affection, like cuddling or holding hands, which might help reignite that connection.

Also, open communication is key. Approach the topic with understanding and without pressure. Ask her how she’s feeling, if there’s anything on her mind, or if there’s something she would like to explore together. Sometimes, just talking openly can ease the tension and bring you both closer

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Intimacy for a man and women are very different and varied as well.
You cannot NOT connect during the week at an emotional level and then expect your wife to be excited to jump in bed. That's not how it works!
Both of you work which means weekends do get busy with household chores, children and more...there's very little time and energy left for intimate moments.
On your wife's part, she has not learned as yet to leave office work at the office but certainly what to cook for the next day is a huge task if this depends only on her. Why don't the two of you pitch in to distribute the household work between you? That way she does not feel burdened (if she does feel that way)...this also goes a long way in letting her know that you care and you want to help her...
You could also talk about how you can steal some moments after office and before you reach home by meeting at a cafe and sharing time over a cup of coffee. This definitely will make your wife feel more connected and emotionally secure which is a start point to easing of your sexual relationship.
Basically, get back to the dating scene and make your relationship a priority. A great sexual life is a product of the connection that a couple share outside the bedroom and the willingness on the part of the couple to make that happen.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/