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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am a 38 year old male working in an IT firm and having a good earnings. I am married and with a girl daughter 8 years old. I have cleared all my debts and also am saving for my daughter's future studies and life. I have this wired feeling of what if my earning stops, what if I lose my job, what if I die early 40s. Etc.. I get such random thoughts and get into a low phase.. Besides I am doing good at work and also trying keep my health in a decent shape . But these random thoughts is not so good and I get depressed cos of it for some time.. is this normal for male getting into 40s ? I don't have much friends whom I can share and don't want to share this with my wife as I feel she might get sad too..

Ans: It's quite common for individuals approaching their 40s to experience concerns about their future, financial stability, and health. This period, sometimes referred to as a midlife transition, often brings about a re-evaluation of life goals, achievements, and concerns about mortality.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that these feelings are normal and shared by many people. You're at a life stage where responsibilities often increase, and the realization that life is finite becomes more prominent. Acknowledging that these thoughts are common can be a reassuring first step.

Financial security can play a significant role in mitigating these anxieties. Ensuring that you have a solid emergency fund, sufficient insurance coverage, and a well-thought-out financial plan for the future can provide a sense of security. Given that you've already cleared your debts and are saving for your daughter's future, you're on the right track. Consider consulting a financial advisor to further solidify your financial plans.

In terms of job security, staying updated with industry trends, continuously learning new skills, and networking within your field can help you feel more secure about your career prospects. This proactive approach can also provide you with a sense of control over your professional life.

Maintaining your health is another crucial factor. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and routine medical check-ups can help you stay healthy and reduce health-related anxieties. Mental health is equally important; practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or even talking to a therapist can help manage stress and anxiety.

It's also important to have a support system. While you might not want to share your concerns with your wife to avoid making her anxious, finding a confidant or a therapist to talk to can be very beneficial. They can provide a different perspective and offer support.

Lastly, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Reflect on your achievements, the stability you've created for your family, and the goals you've set for the future. Engaging in hobbies and activities that you enjoy can also provide a healthy distraction from these worries.

In summary, your feelings are normal and can be managed through financial planning, career development, maintaining physical and mental health, and seeking support when needed. Remember, taking proactive steps towards these aspects of your life can greatly reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control.
Asked on - May 24, 2024 | Answered on Aug 08, 2024
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Many thanks this really helps..
Ans: pleasure

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2021

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Hello Anu, I am 41 and working with a MNC in Mumbai. Since last few months, I am facing some mental health issues like mild depression especially during early morning hours. On professional front, i am doing good but yes, it's hectic because of continuous meetings etc. Not able to figure out actually why I am feeling depressed. Can you please comment/advice?
Ans: Mild depression? Have you been clinically diagnosed or is it self-diagnosis?

Virtual working and/or remote working can bring with it a number of challenges; one being fatigue.

This can cause poor quality of sleep that can result in a low state of mind. This is perhaps what might be happening.

Also, being at home long hours and also due to the uncertainties that we are all facing can pull down the general mood of anyone.

This isn’t depression (unless and until clinically evaluated), but simply a contextual response from the body.

Create rituals to beat this. Since this happens during the early morning hours, make sure that you switch off all electronic gadgets at least a couple of hours before you sleep.

Eat at least 3 hours before you sleep and eat a lighter meal.

Exercise every day for at least 40 minutes and laugh a lot.

Connect with people who empower you. And most importantly, do express gratitude every day.

Feel thankful for what you have and what you are. Also, do what you love; maybe a hobby for a little time every day.

These empowering rituals can get your mood back on track and you will wake up feeling thankful for the day up ahead and also ensure that you can impact your circle of influence at home and at office as well.

Choose your state of mind, let it not choose you. All the best!

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Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 53 years old male, lost my loving wife last year who was 46, I do have 2 kids who are into higher studies now aged 22 and 18, off late have been feeling very lonely and upset and have not been able to forget my late wife, life seems to be too useless now. Many a times i think of having a new partner for the rest of my life then these feelings also die down. Am quiet worried as to how I will be able to live second half of my life as sooner or later the children will be busy in their own lives, what to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
The journey of grief is so different for each person and you can feel alright on one day and devastated on another day...Give your self ample time to grieve and speak about her; it will be painful but the more you allow yourself to speak about her, you will notice that you are closer to accepting the fact of your loss...it is a journey, so do take your time...
But in the meantime, do make sure that you do take help in the form of a support system of your family and friends. Yes, they do have their own lives but I am sure that they will step in kindly when it is required.
Also, you might find that you socially isolate yourself and move away from everything that used to give you joy. You must find a way of getting back to all of those things reminding yourself that you must live your life too...this is initially a way of filling the vacuum, but soon you will find that it does more that just distract you.

Finding another life partner is a decision that is yours to make; but I will suggest that you heal from the loss and then if and when you feel the time is right, you may seek a life partner. But right now, all you will do is find a huge respite to fill in your loneliness and not be able to form a connection with that person. So, take care of yourself first, heal well and then slowly make life-altering decisions.

All the best...I am sure you can do this!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 40 year old female with 15y/o son. Me and my husband together earn 40L/Annum. We have a house in Bangalore. Multiple properties in home town. Built a net worth of 5 crore. 20 lakhs FD. A liability of 32k per month for home loan for next 2 years. We could able to build this from zero just because I had an on-site opportunity for couple of years and I am very good in savings, no impulse buy. We don’t have other commitments and also investment. Now, I have started investing SIPs also, but don’t have that much knowledge in MF Sometimes, I feel like I don’t want to invest anymore and enjoy my life spending. Sometimes I am scared. I have achieved more than my limit financially. I have not made much friends in this period, I have very few genuine friends. Now I don’t know how to shift the gear from hear, I do self care and also do house hold work but somewhere I am not fully content as I lack social life. My relationship with my husband also good. We do fight very often and we both disconnect from each other at that time and later we realise and we connect back. At that time my husband ignores me. I feel hurt. In office, I have a professional commitment and I do my work as per need only. Don’t want to overdo. Not interested in taking up challenging role. I do my work, have lunch and tea with known colleagues and chitchat and comeback. Please guide me how I should make my life interesting. I have a fear of loosing people. I am an introvert. I cry a lot for small things. I feel like I have anxiety, depression, loneliness.
Ans: It's wonderful to see how much you've achieved financially and professionally. Your discipline and hard work have clearly paid off. However, it's equally important to focus on your emotional and social well-being to lead a fulfilling life.

First, it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It's natural to feel a mix of satisfaction and uncertainty after reaching significant milestones. Many people experience a sense of "what's next?" after achieving their goals. This is a good time to explore new areas of personal growth and fulfillment.

One area to consider is your social life. While you have a few genuine friends, expanding your social circle could bring new joy and perspectives into your life. This doesn’t mean you have to force yourself into uncomfortable social situations. Start with small steps, like joining a club or group that interests you, whether it's a book club, a fitness class, or a hobby group. Engaging in activities you enjoy can naturally lead to making new friends.

Regarding your relationship with your husband, it's common for couples to have disagreements. However, the pattern of disconnecting and reconnecting might benefit from more effective communication strategies. Consider setting aside time to talk openly about your feelings and needs when you're both calm. Couples therapy can also provide a safe space to improve your communication and strengthen your connection.

At work, it’s okay to not want to take on more challenging roles if you feel content with your current position. However, if you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, it might be worth exploring what aspects of your job do bring you satisfaction and how you can incorporate more of those elements into your daily routine.

Finally, your tendency to cry easily and feel anxious could be signs of underlying emotional strain. It might be helpful to speak with a therapist who can provide you with tools to manage these emotions and explore any deeper issues that might be contributing to these feelings.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to seek help and invest time in your emotional health. Balancing your impressive financial success with personal happiness and fulfilling relationships can lead to a more holistic sense of well-being. Take small steps towards expanding your social network, improving communication with your husband, and addressing your emotional health. These changes can make a significant difference in your overall satisfaction and happiness.

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  | Answer  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Career
Dear Professor I am 53 years old. Happily married having grown up kids 23 and 19. Recently I lost my job and unable to find a new one. It has been three months I am very scared of my future although I have savings of approximately 1.80 crore and a nice house. My elder son is in the final stages of settling abroad and my younger one will also follow him. I am afraid with little savings and kids settling abroad how I will survive and who will look after me in our old age? Now I also feel guilty about looking after my aged parents living with my divorced sister at my ancestral place although they are financially well off. I was very enthusiastic and successful in my career but since I lost my job I have also lost my confidence and zeal in life. I am feeling very low. I was already on medication for stress and hypertension before I lost my job. Please advise.
Ans: In Indian Scenario your saving is not bad provided you don't have any educational loan for your children. If you keep 1.8 Crores in SBI as a FD you will get per month approx interest INR-123000/- per month, though IT will be applicable. It's not a good amount if I consider a good life style. But I suggest you to find a new job and connect different people in LINKEDIN. What is your qualification? What kind of job you were doing? Let me know all the details related to your job profile. I can imagine your situation. It is just like thrown from an aircraft in high altitude without parachute. Insecurity is very natural. Please furnish the details so that I can guide you in a better way. Don't break down. Everything will be OK, it's a matter of time. Best of luck. Professor..............................:)

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi i am 40M. would request your help to understand what should be the corpus required for retirement as i want to get retired in next 3-5yrs. currently my take home is 2.3L monthly & my wife also works but leaving the job in next 2-3 months. we have a daughter 10yrs, currently i stay on rent and total monthly expense is 1.1L month. once i will retire we will shift in our own parental flat, where hopefully there will be no rent. current Investments 1. 50L in REC bonds getting matured in 2029 2. 42L in stocks 3. 17L in MF 4. 16L FD 5. 15L in PPF 6. 1.3L SIP monthly i do My Wife Investments 1. 30L corpus 2. flat with current value 40L and we get rental of 10K monthly. Please guide what should be the retirement corpus required combined to retire, assuming i need 75L for my daughter post grad and marriage and we would be requiring 75K monthly for our expenses after retiring
Ans: You have explained your income, goals, current assets, and future plans with great clarity. Your early planning spirit is strong. This gives a very good base. You can reach a peaceful retirement with smart steps in the next few years.

» Your Current Position

You are 40 years old. You plan to retire in 3 to 5 years. You earn Rs 2.3 lakh per month. Your wife also works but will stop working soon. You have one daughter aged 10. Your current monthly cost is around Rs 1.1 lakh. This cost will reduce after retirement because you will shift to your parental flat.

Your investment base is already good. You have saved in bonds, stocks, mutual funds, PPF, FD, and SIP. Your wife also has her own savings and rental income from a flat. All these create a good starting point.

This early base helps you plan stronger. It also gives room for more shaping. You are on the right road.

» Your Family Goals

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s higher education and marriage.

You want Rs 75,000 per month for family living after retirement.

You want to retire in 3 to 5 years.

You will shift to your parental flat after retirement.

You will have rental income of Rs 10,000 from your wife’s flat.

These goals are clear. They give direction. They allow a strong plan.

» Your Present Investments

Your investments include:

Rs 50 lakh in REC bonds maturing in 2029.

Rs 42 lakh in stocks.

Rs 17 lakh in mutual funds.

Rs 16 lakh in fixed deposits.

Rs 15 lakh in PPF.

Rs 1.3 lakh as monthly SIP.

Your wife holds:

Rs 30 lakh corpus.

A flat worth Rs 40 lakh with rent of Rs 10,000 each month.

Your combined net worth is healthy. This gives good power to build your retirement fund in the coming years.

» Understanding Your Expense Need After Retirement

You expect Rs 75,000 per month after retirement. This includes all basic needs. You will not have rent. That reduces cost. This assumption looks fair today.

Your cost will rise with inflation. So you must plan for rising needs. A strong retirement corpus must support rising cost for 40 to 45 years because you are retiring early.

An early retirement needs a large buffer. So you need safety along with growth. Your plan must include growth assets and safety assets.

» How Much Monthly Income You Will Need Later

Rs 75,000 per month is Rs 9 lakh per year. In future years, this cost can rise. If we assume steady rise, your future cost will be much higher.

So the retirement corpus must be designed to:

Give monthly income.

Beat inflation.

Support you for 40 to 45 years.

Protect your family even in market down cycles.

Allow flexibility if your needs change.

A strong retirement fund must support both safety and long-term growth.

» How Much Corpus You Should Target

A safe target is a large and flexible corpus that can support long years without running out of money. For early retirement, the usual thumb rule suggests a very high number. This is because you need income for many decades.

You need a corpus big enough to produce rising income. You also need a cushion for unexpected health costs, lifestyle shocks, and inflation changes.

Your target retirement corpus should be in a strong range. For your needs of Rs 75,000 per month and for goals like daughter’s education and marriage, you should aim for a combined retirement readiness corpus in the higher bracket.

A safe range for your family would be a very large number crossing multiple crores. This large range gives you:

Income safety.

Inflation protection.

Peace during market cycles.

Comfort in long life.

Room for daughter’s future.

Strong backup for health.

You are already on the way due to your existing assets. You will reach close to this range with systematic building over the next 3 to 5 years.

» Why You Need This Larger Corpus

You will retire early. That means more years of living from your corpus. Your corpus must not fall early. It must grow even after retirement. It must give monthly income and long-term family protection.

This is only possible when the corpus is strong and well-structured. A weak corpus creates stress. A strong corpus creates freedom.

Also, your daughter’s future cost must be kept aside. This must be parked in a separate fund. This must not touch your retirement money.

A strong corpus makes these two worlds separate and safe.

» Your Existing Assets and Their Strength

You already have good diversification:

Bonds give safety.

Stocks give growth.

Mutual funds give managed growth.

FD gives stability.

PPF gives tax-free long-term savings.

This blend is already a good start. But you need to make the blend more structured for early retirement.

Your Rs 1.3 lakh monthly SIP is also strong. It builds your future fast. You should continue.

Your wife’s rental income is small but steady. This adds strength.

Your combined financial base can reach your retirement target if you refine your allocation now.

» Your Daughter’s Future Fund Need

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s education and marriage. You should keep this goal separate from your retirement goal.

Your current SIP and future allocations should create a dedicated fund for this goal. A long-term fund can grow well when managed actively.

Do not mix this fund with your retirement needs. Mixing leads to shortage in old age. Always keep this corpus ring-fenced.

» A Strong Asset Mix For Your Retirement Path

A balanced mix is needed. You need growth assets to beat inflation. You also need stable assets for income.

You must avoid index funds because they do not give flexibility. Index funds follow a fixed index. They cannot make active changes in different markets. They cannot move to better stocks when markets change. They force you to stay in weak sectors for long. They also do not help you in down cycles because they cannot protect you by shifting to safer options. This can hurt retirement planning.

Actively managed funds are better because:

They give active asset selection.

They give scope for better returns.

They give flexibility to change sectors.

They give downside management.

They give access to a skilled fund manager.

They support long-term planning more safely.

Direct plans also carry risk. Direct plans do not give guidance. They do not give behavioural support. They do not give market timing help. They do not give portfolio shaping. They leave all the judgement to you. One mistake can cost years of wealth.

Regular plans with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner help you shape decisions. They help you remain disciplined. They help you avoid panic. They help you decide allocation changes at the right time. This saves wealth in long-term.

» How Your Investment Journey Should Grow in the Next 3–5 Years

Continue your SIP.

Increase SIP when your income rises.

Shift part of your stock holding into planned long-term mutual funds to reduce concentration risk.

Build a defined daughter’s education fund.

Keep a part of your REC bond maturity amount for long-term.

Avoid locking too much into fixed deposits for long periods.

Build a safety fund for one year of expenses.

This will create a full structure.

» Your Rental Income Role

Your rental income of Rs 10,000 per month is small but steady. Over time it will rise. This income will support your monthly cash flow after retirement.

You can use this for utilities or health insurance premiums. This gives a cushion.

» Your Emergency Buffer

You should keep at least one year of essential cost in a safe place. This can be in a liquid account or short-term fund. This protects you in shocks.

Since you plan early retirement, a strong buffer is important. It gives peace even in low months.

» A Structured Retirement Approach

A complete retirement plan for you should include:

A clear monthly income plan after retirement.

A corpus that can grow and protect.

A rising income system that matches inflation.

A separate daughter’s future fund.

A health cover plan for your family.

A tax-efficient withdrawal plan.

A market cycle plan to protect you in tough times.

This holistic approach keeps your family strong for decades.

» What You Should Build by Retirement Year

Your aim should be to reach a strong multi-crore range in investments before retirement. You already hold a large amount. You will add more in the next 3 to 5 years through SIP, stock growth, bond maturity, and disciplined saving.

Once you reach your target range, you can start the shifting process:

Move a part to stable assets.

Keep a part in long-term growth assets.

Create a monthly income strategy.

Keep a reserve bucket.

Keep a child future bucket.

Keep a long-term growth bucket.

This structure protects you in all market conditions.

» Final Insights

Your financial journey is already strong. You have a good income. You have saved well. You have multiple asset types. You have a clear timeline. And you have clear goals. This foundation is solid.

In the next 3 to 5 years, your focus should be on growing your combined corpus to a strong multi-crore range, keeping a separate fund for your daughter, reducing risk in unplanned assets, and building a stable long-term structure.

With the present path and a disciplined structure, you can retire peacefully and support your family with confidence for many decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2499 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Money
Hello my name is saket, I monthly salary is 43k and my saving is zero. My Rent is 15 k and 10 k i send to my parents. How can i save money and investments.
Ans: 1. Your Current Monthly Numbers

Salary: Rs 43,000

Rent: Rs 15,000

Support to parents: Rs 10,000

Left with: Rs 18,000 for food, travel, bills, and savings

You have very little room, but saving is still possible if done smartly.

2. First Step: Build a Small Emergency Buffer

You must build Rs 10,000 to Rs 20,000 emergency money.
This protects you from taking loans for small issues.

How to build it:

Save Rs 3,000 to Rs 5,000 every month in a simple bank savings account

Do this for the next few months

Don’t touch it unless truly needed

3. Create a Mini Budget (Very Simple One)

Try this split from the remaining Rs 18,000:

Daily living (food + transport): Rs 10,000 – 11,000

Personal expenses (phone, internet, basics): Rs 3,000 – 4,000

Savings + investments: Rs 3,000 – 5,000

If this feels difficult, reduce food/transport costs by small adjustments.

4. Where to Invest Once You Have Emergency Money

(For minors: This is general education. For actual investing, get guidance from a trusted adult or family member.)

After you build emergency money, start small monthly investing.

You can begin with:

Rs 1,000 to Rs 2,000 SIP in a simple, diversified equity fund

Increase the SIP whenever salary increases or expenses reduce

Avoid complicated products.
Keep it simple.
Focus on consistency.

5. Easy Practical Ways to Increase Saving

These small moves help a lot:

Avoid food delivery

Use public transport as much as possible

Reduce subscriptions you don’t use

Fix a daily expense limit

Keep a separate bank account only for savings

Even Rs 200 saved daily = Rs 6,000 monthly.

6. Increase Income Slowly

Try small income boosters:

Weekend tutoring

Freelancing

Part-time projects

Selling old gadgets

Learning new skills for future salary growth

Even Rs 3,000 extra income changes your savings life.

7. Build the Habit First

The amount doesn’t matter in the beginning.
The habit matters more.

Even saving Rs 500 every month is better than zero.
Once salary grows, you will already know how to save.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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