52-Year-Old Woman Feeling Guilty and Unfulfilled: How Do I Find Joy and Move On?

Ans: Dear AK, sadly, most of our lives are lived doing things for others.

Initially seeing the happiness on the faces of our loved ones makes us believe that what we are doing is the right thing.

But if you work or so anything in life without taking into consideration your feelings or your what you value for yourself, it will slowly start to seep into your core and you either end up feeling stressed or anxious.

I do understand that your situation is one of financial challenges, you mist work and why not work and at least set sometime for yourself over the weekend to rejuvenate yourself?

This time is non-negotiable and it is to refresh yourself so you can go back on Monday with a newness.

Also, instead of working like a machine, why not think that you are working efficiently to slowly pay off EMIs and to be free of them.

Bring some harmony between work and life which is what I can offer as a suggestion to you.

Be happy and work not out of compulsion but passion!

Ans:

Dear SS,

Firstly, ask yourself:

1. What will a job/career bring to me?

2. What is it that I feel a lack of when I am devoted into my personal life?

3. Am I trying to search for an identity through a career?

These questions will give you a clear picture of what is going on in your mind.

Most often, we crave something and declare the path but don’t realize that we are actually embarking on the wrong journey; it’s also possible what we are searching for already exists with us, but we are not able to see it or feel it.

For example: If you are searching for your identity that already is with you and you have told yourself that only a job/career could give that to you, it may so happen that every job that you are in will stress you to create an identity which you already have. You are on the cusp of changes as your children are growing…

Sit down with a pen and paper and clearly outline what you want to create in your life and WHY!

When this is clear, you will be able to take the first confident step and you will do it for yourself and not prove anything to anyone. It becomes only about your space and how you can make it beautiful.

2022 brings in a lot of hope for everyone and you as well. Chin up and plunge into a confident self and get ahead. All the best!

Ans: I commend your courage in wanting to move forward and heal. The journey ahead might seem overwhelming, but with the right steps, it is possible to rebuild your life, find peace, and regain control over your emotions and future.

First, acknowledging the impact of the emotional violence you've endured is an important step. These scars run deep and can influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions long after the relationship ends. Healing from this requires time, patience, and often, professional support. Consider seeking therapy or counseling, if you haven’t already. A skilled therapist can help you process your emotions, understand the patterns of your past relationship, and equip you with strategies to manage the insecurities that surface.

Financial stability is another crucial area, and it’s understandable that the ongoing court battle adds to your stress. You might want to consult with a legal advisor who specializes in family law to ensure you're getting the support you and your child are entitled to. Some organizations offer free or low-cost legal services, which could be helpful in your situation. In parallel, continue your job search, but also consider upskilling or exploring different career paths that might open more opportunities. Even part-time work or freelance gigs can help bridge the gap financially while you look for something more stable.

As for the emotional toll and stress, self-care becomes essential. Try to carve out small moments for yourself each day, even if it's just a few minutes. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling, can help you stay grounded and manage anxiety. Connecting with supportive friends or joining a support group for single parents or those going through divorce can also provide comfort and practical advice.

Building a routine that includes regular self-care, professional support, and steps toward financial independence will gradually help you regain your strength and confidence. It’s important to remember that healing is not linear—there will be setbacks, but each small step forward is progress.

Yes, it is absolutely possible to move on, heal from emotional scars, and live a peaceful life. It will require effort, resilience, and sometimes the willingness to ask for help. But with each step, you'll be closer to the life you envision for yourself and your child—a life where you feel empowered, secure, and at peace.

Ans: Madam, Apologize for late reply. You have NOT mentioned, since 2010 till date, what you had been doing & about family background? Did you work any where or were doing any part-time jobs? Anyway, please note, (1) 'Office Politics' is everywhere, even in Top-Corporate-MNC Companies also. How to handle 'Office Politics' depends upon (a) how you perceive others and others perceive you (b) your skills and knowledge (c) your self-confidence (d) office hierarchy / organizational flow (d) your relationship with peers / superiors, related to your job profile (2) Have self-confidence / self-esteem over you and avoid comparing yourself with your friends (3) Now think over which all fields you are interested in. (4) As age is a major factor & keeping in view your educational qualifications / attempts in Govt Exams, you can opt for 'Teaching' at home for the school-children around your home for the subjects you are confident such as English, Social Science & Language. (5) Try this to keep yourself engaged with school children and to get a mental relief from your (some assumed) psychological problems. (6) There is always a demand for Home Tutors. Charge reasonable fees and have patience to become popular in your locality (7) You have to come out of your 'Introvert' personality and talk to your reliable and affectionate friends / relatives. This will further reduce your psychological problem (8) You can even apply to schools for 'Teaching Positions' even if the salary is low initially for the subjects like English, Social Science, depending upon the Grade. If you have any other question(s) related to your career / options, please ask me here in RediffGURU. All The BEST Madam. God Bless You.