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Kanchan Rai |463 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi

Hi, I am 40 year old female with 15y/o son. Me and my husband together earn 40L/Annum. We have a house in Bangalore. Multiple properties in home town. Built a net worth of 5 crore. 20 lakhs FD. A liability of 32k per month for home loan for next 2 years. We could able to build this from zero just because I had an on-site opportunity for couple of years and I am very good in savings, no impulse buy. We don’t have other commitments and also investment. Now, I have started investing SIPs also, but don’t have that much knowledge in MF Sometimes, I feel like I don’t want to invest anymore and enjoy my life spending. Sometimes I am scared. I have achieved more than my limit financially. I have not made much friends in this period, I have very few genuine friends. Now I don’t know how to shift the gear from hear, I do self care and also do house hold work but somewhere I am not fully content as I lack social life. My relationship with my husband also good. We do fight very often and we both disconnect from each other at that time and later we realise and we connect back. At that time my husband ignores me. I feel hurt. In office, I have a professional commitment and I do my work as per need only. Don’t want to overdo. Not interested in taking up challenging role. I do my work, have lunch and tea with known colleagues and chitchat and comeback. Please guide me how I should make my life interesting. I have a fear of loosing people. I am an introvert. I cry a lot for small things. I feel like I have anxiety, depression, loneliness.

Ans: It's wonderful to see how much you've achieved financially and professionally. Your discipline and hard work have clearly paid off. However, it's equally important to focus on your emotional and social well-being to lead a fulfilling life.

First, it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It's natural to feel a mix of satisfaction and uncertainty after reaching significant milestones. Many people experience a sense of "what's next?" after achieving their goals. This is a good time to explore new areas of personal growth and fulfillment.

One area to consider is your social life. While you have a few genuine friends, expanding your social circle could bring new joy and perspectives into your life. This doesn’t mean you have to force yourself into uncomfortable social situations. Start with small steps, like joining a club or group that interests you, whether it's a book club, a fitness class, or a hobby group. Engaging in activities you enjoy can naturally lead to making new friends.

Regarding your relationship with your husband, it's common for couples to have disagreements. However, the pattern of disconnecting and reconnecting might benefit from more effective communication strategies. Consider setting aside time to talk openly about your feelings and needs when you're both calm. Couples therapy can also provide a safe space to improve your communication and strengthen your connection.

At work, it’s okay to not want to take on more challenging roles if you feel content with your current position. However, if you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, it might be worth exploring what aspects of your job do bring you satisfaction and how you can incorporate more of those elements into your daily routine.

Finally, your tendency to cry easily and feel anxious could be signs of underlying emotional strain. It might be helpful to speak with a therapist who can provide you with tools to manage these emotions and explore any deeper issues that might be contributing to these feelings.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to seek help and invest time in your emotional health. Balancing your impressive financial success with personal happiness and fulfilling relationships can lead to a more holistic sense of well-being. Take small steps towards expanding your social network, improving communication with your husband, and addressing your emotional health. These changes can make a significant difference in your overall satisfaction and happiness.