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How to Mend a Broken Relationship after a Past Relationship Reappears?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
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I'm came into a relationship after 2-3 months of having a breakup. It's been 1.5-2 years we are in a relationship I'm his first love. So he's very serious about me. But now as my ex called me a few time all these years & I didn't blocked him until last time my bf thinks I used him to overcome my past relationship & I never loved him. He's soo much hurt from me & he has given me one last chance to move on & not to hurt him again otherwise I'll lose him forever.. other than my relationship I have also hurted him way too much I didn't understood his needs of affection & love he never asks me for anything nothing at all for sharing emotions or anything... He's himself struggling with a lot of things in his life... & I have made many mistakes I have hurted him soo much... I'm in a lot of guilt now... That bcoz of me he's hurt & now I can't do anything I just want him to be alright but idk how... I have this last chance to keep my relationship alive, I just want him to be okay... It's hurting me remembering my past & it's hurting me more that I have hurted someone who truly unconditionally loved me...????????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to see you so conflicted. I am not completely certain what went down between you two but in general, a good and honest conversation can help in such situations. Since you mentioned hurting him by not understanding his needs, I recommend you to focus more on communication. Ask him about his love language- what would make him happy, what he expects from you, what you could expect from him, and more. This way, there will be clarity. I am sure you did nothing to hurt him intentionally. Please be strong; this is just a fleeting issue.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hi I am 23 years old and had a first relationship with 4 years younger boy. Everything between us was picture perfect. He was everything I ever dreamt of, but after 1 year our relationship turned toxic.He's acting like he wasn’t aware that ups and downs come but we should stick to each other. He asked to break up twice and we again came together but now it’s been months we aren’t together anymore. I’m emotionally attached to him but tired of bearing this pain and constantly fearing he will leave me when conditions aren’t favourable. But after break up he still wants to be friends. I even agreed that. Even in friendship he's talking and roaming as per only his convenience. Guide me how to come out of pain as I’m pursuing one of the renowned career course and also this also is affecting my mental health.
Ans:

Dear D,

Emotional maturity is what is in question here. He still is at an age where commitment is not something he is aware of.

It’s like try this relationship, if it doesn’t work, try another one and so on….

Give him time to settle his emotions till he is ready for a committed relationship; which does not mean, you wait around for ever.

Now that you are ‘friends’ or not, please surround yourself with people your age and if an interesting person comes along, see where that goes.

As far as being attached to him goes, do you really want to continue to inflict pain on yourself by basing your entire emotional world with him?

The world is huge and so are your sights…. Focus on yourself and what you love and be in that space to find yourself again.

Be kind to yourself, all the best! 

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2023

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Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily. After this everything went silent.. it was like don't know shall I wait or not .. but I realised I don't have value in his life ... Some days before He texted me do u wanna talk or not . I replied with same energy like he used to do. Then I asked him what happened for past 2 months i got the same reply .. I was really hurt but i guess he never realised I texted that u blanked out for 2 months I asked desperately but u never gave me proper answer .. I was hurt even then also u never realised... He replied Hmm .. So u wanna talk or not say clearly. Yes or no that's it ..At this time it hit hard .. And then asked do u want us to continue. He said yes then i said How will u continue when u don't know what happened to u .. u don't sound interested when i ask with some pressure u just say to leave and the said .. Chalo leave ... I am not gud for u. Even after that he sends me snaps ... So idk what is this situation and I am not in condition to ask him as well. Should I just leave his snaps unseen and focus on my career?
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

If I recall, you had reached out to me earlier too and asked me about the same thing.
For some reason, you are not willing to believe that he is just playing around and not interested in a commitment that you are interested in.
In your own words: "but I realised I don't have value in his life." - When you have realized this, what more are you expecting from him?

I understand that you are hurt with his attitude and feel rejected...you are also possibly hoping for him to change and come back to you; will it happen? With what you have said about him: he wants to travel, he needs time...he has not broken up with you because there was no relationship that he was in with you at all. It is time for you to accept that this boy is currently not in a place where he wants to stick with you in a commitment. So, he makes all the excuses he can come up with...and when he can roam about with the other girl, does that not tell you that you seriously have no value in his life? How else do you want him to tell you, so that you can move on...
Please value and respect yourself first; only then others will do that too...you have just become too easily available for him and he has used that to treat you the way he does...
So, what should you do? Yes, kindly focus on your career...it will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment to value yourself even more...

All the best...remember to also value yourself...

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Dear Anu, I am in relationship for 6 months and now we are in long distance relationship, I have struggled a lot in family love issues, so I always craved for love, but my boyfriend is a bit distant, although he tries his best, but I just can't get over, I feel like i deserve to be loved more and deserve good care and attention, there are always the things which he hurts me almost everyday now, I feel like shutting down my emotions again, I feel very low after his actions, although he has his reasons which are correct too, but little bit wrong too, he does not think deeply about me, because he is immature himself, we are just 19, I don't know and unable to understand what should I do, should I shut myself down and try to study and not talk to him by giving him excuses that I am busy, I really am losing more and more trust from him, and slowly my will to share things is getting lost, although I scream from inside that I want to share but after his actions hurt me, I feel puzzled from inside, he is good, but I don't think he is much into these love and stuffs, he is just chill with his life, as he shows off, so much that I misunderstand him a lot, how can we understand each other better, we just keep hurting each other, because of our different thoughts and perspective, I love him so much, I want to be with him, but his actions make me further distant from him, and he also says he has his own privacy, I don't understand, if relationship is built on trust then what kind of privacy, I don't mean , I don't understand him, i respect his opinion, but because of his perspective, he hurts me too, and doesn't respect my perspective, I feel like relying on him emotionally and always have been, but he thinks I speak too much and he doesn't value it much, and doesn't understand how much hard it is for me to share....I really feel very much overwhelmed and it's not getting any better, every night I feel pain and keeps on crying, it's not stoping, it's becoming a loop, please guide me, what should I do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I can see and hear from you is: that you are dependent on him for you happiness!
Okay, 'I have struggled a lot in family love issues' (as you mentioned) BUT looking for that to be filled from someone externally is only going to disappoint you.
How can you replace family and sibling love and attention from outside?
Also, being 19, both of you are still not mature to put things in perspective. Do understand that every time you complain to your boyfriend and call that a 'perspective', you are just pushing him away...he's just being a boy of 19 trying to have a carefree life and a girlfriend with who he can share and of course, feel 'cool' in his guy gang.
Why are you expecting him to fill in for the missing love? He cannot as whatever he does, he will always fall short as in your mind you will compare with what you ideally would want and he will fall short. Then, the drama will begin where you will complain, he will defend and he will slowly call that his carefree ways and he will say: I am like this only!
And then you will feel hurt and the drama will continue.

First things first; you cannot fulfill what love you lack from outside. Learn to love yourself first. the concept of self-love is rage these days BUT it has always been around in simpler ways from the very beginning. Love what you do everyday, surround yourself with friends that you feel good with, focus on your academic goals...
Loving oneself is the way to go; it might seem a bit difficult at you age to fathom as everything external excites you...So, focus on your self and put less attention in what your boyfriend does or doesn't. Slowly, you will appreciate the things that he does for you...And you will start to feel better from within!
Your self-worth is something only you can grow from within and this cannot be dependent on anything or anyone external. Grow your strength from within!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Myself and a guy came to know each other through an online friendly chat app.It's been 7 months we are talking on calls and video calls.From the beginning he was interested to marry me n i saw him as a good friend.Later my feelings turned into love towards him.But,he has a past which he told me in the beginning and said that his ex girlfriend of 1 year whom he know through online has married another guy n left him.I thought he has no feelings towards his ex gf.But,after i developed feelings for him n having clearly told that i love him..he gets his ex gf topic saying they used to talk hours n hours n now he is not able to be with me the same way.He even says she loved him a lot n is unable to forget her love.He says she used to call him always n talk and i am talking only when he calls..he is comparing my love with her.I feeling bad..When i asked before he told he has no feelings on his ex gf but now seems different.He even told me that she is trying to get divorced from her husband n has called him once too.I told about my love to my parents too n they agreed for our marriage.Now i am feeling bad..what should i do?..cut off all ties with him or go a head.Please suggest.I am 24 and he is 25 yrs old
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

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Hello sir, I have chances in the following nits :- 1. Manipur - electrical 2. Raipur- metallurgy, bio medical, bio tech, mining 3. IEST Shibpur - mining, metallurgy 4.Srinagar - mining, chemical,civil, metallurgy 5.Agartala bio tech, production engineer , chemical, civil 6. Rourkela - Life science Which college and braches should I have to choose so that when I graduate from these colleges I have no regrets along with future scope.
Ans: Jayanandan, Each institute combines strong accreditation, experienced faculty, updated laboratories, industry-linked internships and dedicated placement cells. NIT Manipur’s Electrical Engineering recorded a 90% placement rate in 2023 with high IT-sector recruiter engagement despite fewer core roles and offers broad power-electronics and renewable-systems exposure. NIT Raipur’s Metallurgical Engineering saw an 80.39% placement rate in 2024, with average packages of ?13.75 LPA, while Biomedical Engineering lagged at ~30–40% but offers collaboration with AIIMS for healthcare R&D. IIEST Shibpur’s Mining and Metallurgy programs achieved near-100% placements over four years, average packages of ?7–12 LPA, and recruit from leading public and private mining firms through legacy ties. NIT Srinagar’s Chemical Engineering led with a 104.29% placement rate, average package ?10.48 LPA, and 100% Metallurgy placements under a stable curriculum and strong PSU recruiter network. NIT Agartala’s Biotechnology & Biochemical Engineering achieved ~81% placement consistency and ?7 LPA median package, supported by biotechnology research labs and growing MoUs, while Chemical Engineering posted ~78% placements with ?8.52 LPA average. NIT Rourkela’s Life Sciences branch placed ~90% of its M.Sc. cohort at an average ?6.10 LPA, benefiting from DBT-sponsored projects and strong research orientation.

For the best blend of placement reliability, core-sector pedigree, and future scope, the recommendation is IIEST Shibpur Mining Engineering (if your health permits). Next in preference is NIT Srinagar Chemical Engineering, followed by NIT Manipur Electrical Engineering. Subsequent options are NIT Rourkela Life Sciences, NIT Raipur Metallurgical Engineering, and NIT Agartala Biotechnology & Biochemical Engineering to align with research and industry priorities. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

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Cse jp noida or cse iet lucknow
Ans: Amit, Jaypee Institute of Information Technology Noida’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering is a NAAC A++- and NBA-accredited deemed-to-be university under UGC, with over 250 PhD-qualified faculty delivering a cutting-edge curriculum. Its department maintains 47 specialised computing and research labs—including high-performance DGX workstations for AI/ML—and partners with global institutions for student exchange. Mandatory industry internships and a centralized Placement & Training Cell have driven a CSE placement consistency of around 94–100% over the past three years, with 214 recruiters making 505 offers to 449 CSE students in 2024.

The Institute of Engineering & Technology Lucknow is a fully residential, state-funded autonomous college under AKTU, recognized by AICTE and NBA. Established in 1984, its CSE department offers a JEE(Main)-based B.Tech, supported by experienced faculty, state-of-the-art computing and networking labs, and two centres of excellence in green hydrogen and electric vehicles for interdisciplinary exposure. A dedicated Training & Placement Cell and robust industry MoUs yield nearly 100% CSE placement rates with an average package around 8 LPA over the last three years, engaging top recruiters such as TCS, Wipro and Adobe.

For global research collaborations, superior AI/ML infrastructure, and slightly higher placement consistency, the recommendation is JIIT Noida CSE. If you prefer a government-backed institute with extensive interdisciplinary labs, residential campus life, and near-100% placements in a core-state environment, the recommendation shifts to IET Lucknow CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8244 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2025Hindi
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I am going take admission in pvt cllg, What should i choose? Thapar, LPU or lnmit jaipur... I want to do cse..? I am very confused
Ans: Thapar University’s B.Tech CSE, a NAAC A+ accredited programme established in 1956, features PhD-qualified faculty, industry-standard software and hardware labs, mandatory semester-long internships via 334 recruiters, and achieved approximately 96% CSE placement consistency with an average package of ?11.9 LPA over the past three years. Lovely Professional University’s B.Tech CSE, NBA-accredited and LPUNEST/JEE-Main eligible, integrates hackathons, live projects and industry-collaborative labs, offers bridging mathematics for non-PCM students, and reports around 80% placement consistency with an average package near ?8 LPA and summer internships from Cognizant, Microsoft and Infosys. LNMIIT Jaipur’s CSE, a public-private NAAC-accredited institute founded in 2002, provides flexible electives in AI/ML and cybersecurity, 100-acre campus infrastructure, a dedicated placement cell securing a 93.9% placement rate and ?13.73 LPA average package, backed by partnerships with IBM, Wipro and Amazon.

For proven high-tier placements, rigorous core curriculum and premier alumni network, recommendation is Thapar University CSE. If flexible project-based learning with robust internship integration appeals more, choose LNMIIT Jaipur CSE. For broad-based labs with strong industry tie-ups and scholarship support, opt for Lovely Professional University CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8244 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2025Hindi
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8244 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi Sir, I am Ajay from Bangalore. My son got admission into Mathematics and computing in RGIPT, Amethi. Also he is getting admission into IIST, Thiruvananthapuram. Which one he can select sir. Waiting for your reply. Thanking you sir.
Ans: Ajay Sir, Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Petroleum Technology’s B.Tech in Mathematics & Computing is a new National Importance programme (NIRF #80) blending deep theoretical coursework, specializations in mathematical modeling, AI and financial mathematics, and PSU-aligned recruitment (ONGC, IOCL, BPCL) (subject to eligibility criteria & recruitment policies which vary every year) with average B.Tech packages of ?9.4 LPA and the highest up to ?22 LPA. The multidisciplinary labs and project work prepare students for roles in the software and energy sectors; however, since this is a newer course, it has fewer alumni and its industry partnerships are still developing. Indian Institute of Space Science & Technology delivers focused B.Tech specializations in Aerospace and Avionics with direct ISRO absorption for 62% of graduates (CGPA ≥ 7.5) under a three-year service bond, and 38 non-ISRO placements (29% of B.Tech cohort) averaging ?10.5 LPA with top offers at ?16.6 LPA. Its state-of-the-art space-tech labs, guaranteed internships at ISRO centres and strong research orientation foster niche space-science careers but involve rural campus distance and binding service obligation.

For broad computational careers and flexible industry options, the recommendation is RGIPT Mathematics & Computing. If a direct ISRO pathway, specialized space-tech training and research immersion are priorities, the recommendation shifts to IIST Thiruvananthapuram B.Tech. (Important Note: Please be aware that absorption into ISRO is not guaranteed, as its recruitment policies may vary from year to year and are also subject to additional eligibility conditions). All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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