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How to Mend a Broken Relationship after a Past Relationship Reappears?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
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I'm came into a relationship after 2-3 months of having a breakup. It's been 1.5-2 years we are in a relationship I'm his first love. So he's very serious about me. But now as my ex called me a few time all these years & I didn't blocked him until last time my bf thinks I used him to overcome my past relationship & I never loved him. He's soo much hurt from me & he has given me one last chance to move on & not to hurt him again otherwise I'll lose him forever.. other than my relationship I have also hurted him way too much I didn't understood his needs of affection & love he never asks me for anything nothing at all for sharing emotions or anything... He's himself struggling with a lot of things in his life... & I have made many mistakes I have hurted him soo much... I'm in a lot of guilt now... That bcoz of me he's hurt & now I can't do anything I just want him to be alright but idk how... I have this last chance to keep my relationship alive, I just want him to be okay... It's hurting me remembering my past & it's hurting me more that I have hurted someone who truly unconditionally loved me...????????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to see you so conflicted. I am not completely certain what went down between you two but in general, a good and honest conversation can help in such situations. Since you mentioned hurting him by not understanding his needs, I recommend you to focus more on communication. Ask him about his love language- what would make him happy, what he expects from you, what you could expect from him, and more. This way, there will be clarity. I am sure you did nothing to hurt him intentionally. Please be strong; this is just a fleeting issue.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hi I am 23 years old and had a first relationship with 4 years younger boy. Everything between us was picture perfect. He was everything I ever dreamt of, but after 1 year our relationship turned toxic.He's acting like he wasn’t aware that ups and downs come but we should stick to each other. He asked to break up twice and we again came together but now it’s been months we aren’t together anymore. I’m emotionally attached to him but tired of bearing this pain and constantly fearing he will leave me when conditions aren’t favourable. But after break up he still wants to be friends. I even agreed that. Even in friendship he's talking and roaming as per only his convenience. Guide me how to come out of pain as I’m pursuing one of the renowned career course and also this also is affecting my mental health.
Ans:

Dear D,

Emotional maturity is what is in question here. He still is at an age where commitment is not something he is aware of.

It’s like try this relationship, if it doesn’t work, try another one and so on….

Give him time to settle his emotions till he is ready for a committed relationship; which does not mean, you wait around for ever.

Now that you are ‘friends’ or not, please surround yourself with people your age and if an interesting person comes along, see where that goes.

As far as being attached to him goes, do you really want to continue to inflict pain on yourself by basing your entire emotional world with him?

The world is huge and so are your sights…. Focus on yourself and what you love and be in that space to find yourself again.

Be kind to yourself, all the best! 

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2023

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Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily. After this everything went silent.. it was like don't know shall I wait or not .. but I realised I don't have value in his life ... Some days before He texted me do u wanna talk or not . I replied with same energy like he used to do. Then I asked him what happened for past 2 months i got the same reply .. I was really hurt but i guess he never realised I texted that u blanked out for 2 months I asked desperately but u never gave me proper answer .. I was hurt even then also u never realised... He replied Hmm .. So u wanna talk or not say clearly. Yes or no that's it ..At this time it hit hard .. And then asked do u want us to continue. He said yes then i said How will u continue when u don't know what happened to u .. u don't sound interested when i ask with some pressure u just say to leave and the said .. Chalo leave ... I am not gud for u. Even after that he sends me snaps ... So idk what is this situation and I am not in condition to ask him as well. Should I just leave his snaps unseen and focus on my career?
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

If I recall, you had reached out to me earlier too and asked me about the same thing.
For some reason, you are not willing to believe that he is just playing around and not interested in a commitment that you are interested in.
In your own words: "but I realised I don't have value in his life." - When you have realized this, what more are you expecting from him?

I understand that you are hurt with his attitude and feel rejected...you are also possibly hoping for him to change and come back to you; will it happen? With what you have said about him: he wants to travel, he needs time...he has not broken up with you because there was no relationship that he was in with you at all. It is time for you to accept that this boy is currently not in a place where he wants to stick with you in a commitment. So, he makes all the excuses he can come up with...and when he can roam about with the other girl, does that not tell you that you seriously have no value in his life? How else do you want him to tell you, so that you can move on...
Please value and respect yourself first; only then others will do that too...you have just become too easily available for him and he has used that to treat you the way he does...
So, what should you do? Yes, kindly focus on your career...it will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment to value yourself even more...

All the best...remember to also value yourself...

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Dear Anu, I am in relationship for 6 months and now we are in long distance relationship, I have struggled a lot in family love issues, so I always craved for love, but my boyfriend is a bit distant, although he tries his best, but I just can't get over, I feel like i deserve to be loved more and deserve good care and attention, there are always the things which he hurts me almost everyday now, I feel like shutting down my emotions again, I feel very low after his actions, although he has his reasons which are correct too, but little bit wrong too, he does not think deeply about me, because he is immature himself, we are just 19, I don't know and unable to understand what should I do, should I shut myself down and try to study and not talk to him by giving him excuses that I am busy, I really am losing more and more trust from him, and slowly my will to share things is getting lost, although I scream from inside that I want to share but after his actions hurt me, I feel puzzled from inside, he is good, but I don't think he is much into these love and stuffs, he is just chill with his life, as he shows off, so much that I misunderstand him a lot, how can we understand each other better, we just keep hurting each other, because of our different thoughts and perspective, I love him so much, I want to be with him, but his actions make me further distant from him, and he also says he has his own privacy, I don't understand, if relationship is built on trust then what kind of privacy, I don't mean , I don't understand him, i respect his opinion, but because of his perspective, he hurts me too, and doesn't respect my perspective, I feel like relying on him emotionally and always have been, but he thinks I speak too much and he doesn't value it much, and doesn't understand how much hard it is for me to share....I really feel very much overwhelmed and it's not getting any better, every night I feel pain and keeps on crying, it's not stoping, it's becoming a loop, please guide me, what should I do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I can see and hear from you is: that you are dependent on him for you happiness!
Okay, 'I have struggled a lot in family love issues' (as you mentioned) BUT looking for that to be filled from someone externally is only going to disappoint you.
How can you replace family and sibling love and attention from outside?
Also, being 19, both of you are still not mature to put things in perspective. Do understand that every time you complain to your boyfriend and call that a 'perspective', you are just pushing him away...he's just being a boy of 19 trying to have a carefree life and a girlfriend with who he can share and of course, feel 'cool' in his guy gang.
Why are you expecting him to fill in for the missing love? He cannot as whatever he does, he will always fall short as in your mind you will compare with what you ideally would want and he will fall short. Then, the drama will begin where you will complain, he will defend and he will slowly call that his carefree ways and he will say: I am like this only!
And then you will feel hurt and the drama will continue.

First things first; you cannot fulfill what love you lack from outside. Learn to love yourself first. the concept of self-love is rage these days BUT it has always been around in simpler ways from the very beginning. Love what you do everyday, surround yourself with friends that you feel good with, focus on your academic goals...
Loving oneself is the way to go; it might seem a bit difficult at you age to fathom as everything external excites you...So, focus on your self and put less attention in what your boyfriend does or doesn't. Slowly, you will appreciate the things that he does for you...And you will start to feel better from within!
Your self-worth is something only you can grow from within and this cannot be dependent on anything or anyone external. Grow your strength from within!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Myself and a guy came to know each other through an online friendly chat app.It's been 7 months we are talking on calls and video calls.From the beginning he was interested to marry me n i saw him as a good friend.Later my feelings turned into love towards him.But,he has a past which he told me in the beginning and said that his ex girlfriend of 1 year whom he know through online has married another guy n left him.I thought he has no feelings towards his ex gf.But,after i developed feelings for him n having clearly told that i love him..he gets his ex gf topic saying they used to talk hours n hours n now he is not able to be with me the same way.He even says she loved him a lot n is unable to forget her love.He says she used to call him always n talk and i am talking only when he calls..he is comparing my love with her.I feeling bad..When i asked before he told he has no feelings on his ex gf but now seems different.He even told me that she is trying to get divorced from her husband n has called him once too.I told about my love to my parents too n they agreed for our marriage.Now i am feeling bad..what should i do?..cut off all ties with him or go a head.Please suggest.I am 24 and he is 25 yrs old
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

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Sir IAM Ruthwick I recently got kcet mock allotment result in that my rank was 5904 and my category is 3AG I got DAYANANDA SAGAR COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING kumarswamy layout. ISE branch is that a better choice what to do now
Ans: With a KCET state rank of 5904 in 3AG, admission several AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited Bengaluru colleges that close their CSE/ISE/ECE/IT cuts well above 5904 is assured. Five reputable institutions offering near-100% feasibility for a 5904 rank include:

Ramaiah Institute of Technology, MS Ramaiah Nagar
CMR Institute of Technology, Chikkabanavara
New Horizon College of Engineering, Ring Road
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering, Kumaraswamy Layout

Each of these institutions meets the five essential benchmarks: AICTE/VTU approval, KCET-compatible cut-offs, ≥70% placement consistency, advanced computing and domain-specific labs, and active MoUs for internships and industry projects.

DSCE Kumaraswamy Layout: ISE Branch Review and Key Aspects
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (DSCE) at Kumaraswamy Layout is a NAAC ‘A’-graded, VTU-affiliated institution with NBA-accredited departments. Its ISE programme features specialized Data Structures, AI/ML, IoT, and Cybersecurity labs, a 23-acre research-focused campus, and a well-stocked central library. Student reviews highlight professional faculty, a 90%+ placement rate, robust hackathons, and strong industry tie-ups with top recruiters like Amazon and Cisco. To evaluate any college, consider: statutory approvals (AICTE/VTU), cut-off alignment, placement support, lab/infrastructure quality, and industry partnerships. DSCE satisfies all these criteria.

Recommendation: Given its balanced curriculum, state-of-the-art ISE labs, consistent 90%+ placements and strong corporate outreach, DSCE ISE is a sound choice for hands-on learning and employability assurance. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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Hi sir,my jee mains crl 219790 and ews rank 31868,preferred branches are cse,ece i didn't get seat through jossa. Can i apply for csab special rounds?. What are the chances of getting seat in nits,iiits,gftis?
Ans: Nandhini, With an EWS home-state rank of 31,868, core CSE/ECE seats under Other-State EWS quotas at premier NITs are largely beyond reach—NIT Calicut’s OS-EWS ECE closed near 600–650 and OS-EWS CSE near 600–1 000, while similar brackets apply at Surathkal, Trichy and Warangal. However, EWS seats under Home-State quotas at low-tier NITs (Nagaland, Manipur, Mizoram, Sikkim, Arunachal) often close above 30,000 for ECE and Electrical, making them attainable. Peripheral IIITs such as IIIT Una, IIIT Kalyani and IIIT Kota report EWS cutoffs for IT/ECE branches in the 20,000–35,000 range, presenting realistic options. Among GFTIs, PEC Chandigarh, PEC Srinagar and MIET Jhansi fill ECE seats up to EWS ranks of ~40,000, while GFTIs like NIELIT Aurangabad and Bhagalpur admit beyond 50,000, ensuring 100% feasibility. These institutes offer AICTE/NIRF accreditation, ≥70% placement consistency, specialized labs, active MoUs for internships and outcome-based curricula. Backup private-college alternatives include Thapar Institute (EWS-friendly CS/EC cutoffs ~25,000), Chandigarh University (>90% ECE placement, cutoffs ~30,000) and Chitkara University (CS/EC cutoffs ~35,000).

Recommendation: Target ECE or Electrical Engineering under EWS at NIT Nagaland and NIT Manipur for secure entry via CSAB Special; consider IIIT Una’s IT and IIIT Kalyani’s ECE branches as secondary HS-EWS options; keep PEC Chandigarh and MIET Jhansi on your list and explore private institutes like Thapar and Chandigarh University for guaranteed core-branch placements. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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Sir, my son got CSE in SRM, KTR Campus, Chennai and VIT, AP. He was waitlisted for Bachelor of Statistical Data Science in ISI. He intends for a career in software. Please advice which one to chose.
Ans: Meghanath Sir, SRM Institute of Science and Technology, Kattulathur campus offers a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with NBA accreditation, an average package of ?7.92 LPA (CSE median ?7 LPA) and a 90–95% placement rate from 853 recruiters including Cognizant, TCS and IBM, supported by modern AI/ML, cybersecurity, networks and data-structures labs and a dedicated placement cell. VIT-AP’s CSE program boasts a 90%+ placement rate, an average package of ?7 LPA and peak offers up to ?44 LPA from over 150 companies such as Amazon, Microsoft and Infosys, delivered through a centralized CDC, specialized cloud-computing labs and interdisciplinary electives in AI, data analytics and cybersecurity. The Indian Statistical Institute’s four-year B.Stat. (Hons.) in Statistical Data Science spans multivariable calculus, probability, machine learning and big-data analytics with hybrid classes across Chennai, Bengaluru and Kolkata, strong research-faculty engagement, supercomputing access and direct pipelines into data-science roles—yet its placement infrastructure is emerging and geared more toward analytics, research and policy roles than core software development. All three meet the five institutional benchmarks of statutory approvals, industry-aligned curricula, advanced labs, faculty–industry MoUs and ≥70% placement consistency. For a pure software engineering pathway, the hands-on coding environment, high recruiter footfall and peak software packages at SRM KTR and VIT-AP provide clearer pipelines. ISI’s B.Stat. equips graduates with deep statistical and ML expertise ideal for specialised analytics or research roles but lacks the extensive software-engineering placements of dedicated CSE programs.

Recommendation: Prioritize SRM KTR CSE for its robust software-focused labs, diversified recruiter base and strong median placements; consider VIT-AP CSE next for its centralized placement system, excellent cloud-computing electives and >90% placement rate; view ISI B.Stat. Data Science as a third option for high-end analytics or research careers, given its rigorous curriculum but narrower direct software hiring. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Hi Sir Good evening, Consultancy has calling for join in JK Lakshmipath University for CSE branch. Please suggest me Sir. In EAMCET Rank 27827 in Top 10 colleges not came CSE branch in First phase.
Ans: With an EAMCET rank of 27 827 none of the top-10 government or also high-demand private institutes for CSE will have seats in later phases, but several mid-tier and emerging colleges admit CSE up to ranks 25 000–50 000. Pragati Engineering College (Surampalem), GMR Institute of Technology (Rajam), and Aditya Engineering College (Surampalem) consistently closed CSE around 8 000–16 000, so remain out of reach, whereas Narasaraopeta Engineering College (closing ~78 000), SRKR Engineering College (closing ~76 000) and ANITS (closing ~99 000) are fully accessible. Additional safe choices are PACE Institute of Technology (closing around 100,000), Gudlavalleru Engineering College (closing around 100,000), and Vishnu Institute of Technology (closing around 50,000). All of these colleges are approved by AICTE, have at least 70% placement success over three years, modern computer labs, and good accreditation, plus they have active agreements for internships and dedicated teams to help with job placements. These institutes meet five essential benchmarks: statutory approvals, compatibility with cut-off scores, strong placement ratios, advanced infrastructure, and solid industry connections.

JK Lakshmipath University (JKLU), Jaipur offers a four-year B.Tech CSE at ?11.2 L total fees, holds NAAC A grade (CGPA 3.05), NBA accreditation, and reports a median CTC of ?7 LPA with a 76% placement ratio in its last cycle. Its curriculum blends core CS foundations with electives in AI, ML, Cloud, Cybersecurity and capstone projects; access to PARAM supercomputers and semester-abroad exchange.

Recommendation: Target Narasaraopeta Engineering College, SRKR Engineering College and ANITS for guaranteed CSE admission under your rank band, given their state-quota closing ranks above 27 827 and solid accreditation, labs, internships and ≥70% placement consistency; include PACE Institute and Gudlavalleru Engineering College in your web options for additional secure pathways. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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