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Love vs. Family: Should I Leave My Girlfriend Who Doesn't Respect My Family?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |484 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
K Question by K on Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I'm a 33-year-old male, in a relationship for the last 4 years. I have an elder unmarried sister who is 39 years old, and an elder brother who is also unmarried but might get married next year. My concern is about my relationship. Initially, everything was fine, but after two years, things started to get messy. In 2022, during Diwali, my girlfriend visited my home. After that, she began to take issue with many small things related to my mother and sister and complained to me about them. Now, things are getting worse day by day. She constantly taunts me, saying, "As long as your sister is in that house, no one will want to marry their daughter into your family." My mother gave her a gold coin as a Diwali gift, which she has now returned to me, asking me to give it back to my mom with the message, "Find someone else for your son and see how many proposals you get." I always try to meet her demands, but she never seems to understand my perspective. Now, I feel angry and negative toward my family. I love her very much and can't leave her, but I know she doesn't understand my situation and always tries to prove she is right in every way. Please help me understand what I should do..???

Ans: Dear K,
It's clear you're in a difficult situation, feeling torn between your love for your girlfriend and your loyalty to your family. It's essential to acknowledge both your emotions and your needs, as well as those of your girlfriend and family.

First, have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend. Share how her comments and actions are affecting you and your relationship with your family. It's crucial that she understands your perspective and the importance of family in your life. Approach this conversation with empathy, making it clear that you value her feelings but also need her to respect your family's role.

Additionally, consider discussing boundaries and expectations. Every relationship requires compromise, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your mental and emotional well-being. If your girlfriend is unwilling to see things from your point of view or continues to create tension, it might be necessary to reassess the relationship's dynamics.

Seeking guidance from a relationship counselor could provide a neutral ground for both of you to express your concerns and work towards a solution. A professional can offer tools and strategies to navigate these challenges, ensuring that both your relationship and family bonds are respected.

Remember, a healthy relationship should uplift and support you, not create constant conflict and negativity. Balancing love and family can be challenging, but with clear communication and mutual respect, it is possible to find a path that honors both.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

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Hi Anu...I dont want to be named but want to share my issues here with you to guidance. Im married and live with my wife and 2 year old son in Noida and my parents lives in some village in UP approx 500 Kms afar. My initial upbriging was done by my Grandparants at separate place till age of 10 so never got any chance to get along with my poarants very well as lived with them for only 4 years then shifted Noida. now the issue issus is my sister who is 5-6 years younger than me has been living with paranets since birth and became very arrogant and irresponsible in life as my parants never tried to correct her instead they always push me to get along citing Im older..she never even accepted my wife and even tried to conspire against my baby boy by filing my mothers mind for years. my parents married her 4 years ago but she dont spend even a month continuously at her inlawa and dont get along with them...she want to sta with my paranets as nobody bothers her in what she wants to do... when anybody try to make her realise that she is wrong she start threating them by saying that she will harm herself...actually she never does. My parents are getting older and dont want to see them suffer mentally and financially anymore but them cant come with me as they have take care of my Great Grandparents..she is too proud to say sorry to me for things she has done but my parents emotionally blackmailing to to talk to her....what should I do...
Ans: Dear R,
Obviously your parents have no clue that their over indulgence in your sister and her life is causing her misery. Their relationship is unhealthy and they are unaware of it...things are sure to go downhill until one of them pulls back...in this case, the ideal thing would be for your parents to pull back and cut financial and emotional support till she starts behaving like an adult and become accountable for herself and her life.
Some people just don't want to grow up...and that is because they have parents or parent figures who fill in their every need and fulfil their every want.
This becomes a habit and when they don't get what they want, they will threaten just like your sister does...she basically likes playing the 'child' and hence your parents are never out of their responsibility of parenting...make them aware that it is enough and a tough stance will set her right and help her build her life.
A grown up must be one and just keep the child alive in them...but here your sister just wants to be the child and keep happily playing thar role as the parents are allowing it...kindly intervene and help your parents understand and do the right thing for their daughter...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |484 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 26, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 40 yrs with wife and kid of 7 yrs. My problem is family oriented. I have three sister, elder two sisters are well married and settled. My younger sister had an arrange marriage in 2004 and she had a divorce in 2011. With that marriage she has a boy child who is almost 18 now and too lazy, she as per her will did an intercaste love marriage in court in 2015 without informing anyone. I used to stay away in delhi and my parents and eldest sister(at her in laws place) in kolkata and d youngest married d guy 2 km from parents house. In 2017 i shifted back to kolkata as my wife was pregnant, so we took a decision dat now it would be better to stay in joint family as d kid will get grand parents and we will also serve my parents, but my youngest sister had a very bad habit of calling my mom every day almost 5-7 times and coming to parental house every alternate days which i rrsisted and i faced backlash from my parents and her too. Then suddenly things changed her husband became a very rowdy person and started beating her as she narrated and she came back to parental house with two kids one was from previous husband and one was from d court love marriage, now she stays in same flat where my parents stays. In 2017 aug my kid was born in 2019 she came back and den i again decided to leave house with my wife and kid as it was 2 bhk flat and all people flocked there as if ut was a zoo so i decided to leave with my family and we moved to ujjain and started living peacefully. Reason for leaving was my younger sis her eldest son and my dad has a very bad habit of shouting arguing nd fighting means domestic violence which i have seen in my childhood days even wen my dad used to do violence with my mom. Now i say her to take divorce and stay with parents or go back to her husbamd or where ever she wants. My dad is retired with a fixed income of around 20k per month. My sis and her son stays at home uses all facilities of home whereas when i shifted to ujjain i did all hardships and built my rented flat. Used to sleep on floor slowly we both husband wife worked hard and bought bed, kitchen utensils fridge and tv. Now my concern is she is not taking divorce and fully dependent on my father. She and her son both earn almost 35k together but their contribution towards house is big Zero towards ration is ZEro yes for basic dey dont pay anythng but like she pays for her small child school fees almost 3000 and whatever dey feel like eating extra den normal homely food she brings for her kids. As she is not taking divorce what can be main reason and future consequences to my kid and my life and my mom and dad have just become a free maid for her kids, my sis does all masti and roams freely till 9 pm without any concern for her kids as my mom is behind as maid to take care. Means my mom and dad have no saving cz of her and no personal life nor any social life cz dey have to take d youngest kid along with dem. My dad is 70 diabetic mom is 65 undergone bypass. Wen i say cz of yoi came back i have to leave dat house she says did i hold ur hand and say to go out. Where as i needed peace but i also need my parents as i want to take care of dem cz she treats dem like servants only. And my parentz dont understand dis dey hav soft cornor for her. She is like deemak but dey dont understand. Kindly guide me.
Ans: Your situation is complex, involving familial responsibilities and personal peace. To address it, start by understanding your sister's reasons for not seeking a divorce. Consider engaging a professional family counselor to mediate and provide support for everyone involved. Legally, explore the options available for ensuring she contributes financially to the household.

Your priority should be to protect your parents' well-being and your own family's stability. If your sister continues to burden your parents without contributing, it might be necessary to seek legal advice on how to manage this dependency. You may also need to discuss with your parents the importance of setting boundaries to ensure their health and financial security. Balancing compassion with firm boundaries is key to resolving these issues while maintaining family harmony.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi dear Anu Krishna Madam, I am a regular reader of your suggestions and answers on the questions of relationships since long. You are doing a great work to solve the complications of people's life. I have a long story actually, thanks to you in advance for your patience in reading this. I am male 36 YO, married and having a 4 YO daughter. Mandatory to mention here that I have mother who is dependent on me financially as my father passed away years ago. My relationship with my not been since starting as we got married in 2015. She is having serious anger issues and starts fighting on even little things. She is not very inclined to my mother and my younger sister who got married in 2018 and staying in UK with her husband. My wife is always complaining for one thing or the other. I am working for Central Government and earning well but she is never satisfied and keeps on complaining that my brother in law (sister's husband) is better husband or sometimes compare with other men. I always to fulfil all the requirements financially as well as taking care of baby, helping in household chores but she is never a happy woman. I send my mother and amount of Rs 10000 per month as no one is there to take care of her, mother stays at our hometown and I along with my wife and daughter stays at my work place city. I had to finance the marriage of my younger sister also as my father passed away when the both of us siblings were of age 7 and 3, this was told before my marriage to the family of wife as well as her that this will be required to be managed by me financially. But she complains of this also that I have spent this much money on my sister and mother. I am earning from a young age of 18 years but I don't find any peace at home. I am working like a machine, earning and then she is saying bad things to me all the time. She shouts loudly when fighting so that neighbours also listen and I find it very shameful. Her behaviour towards our daughter also changes frequently and she treats her according to her mood. My mother is not staying with us as when she stayed here for 6-8 months due to her health related issues, she started fighting with my mother also and created huge scenes every now and then. My wife's only attachment is with her own family, her mother, father, unmarried elder sister and unmarried elder brother. Her both the siblings couldn't find suitable matches for themselves, this is also creating a stress for my wife and she in the end throws her frustration on me. She and my self have both tried to commit suicide 2-3 times in the fight on different occasions. Last year she met a younger boy of age 26-27 and they both got attracted to each other. I was along with her and I noticed them smiling at each other at a function. I asked my wife and said to her that if you want to you can ask and talk to that boy. Means I told her to have an open marriage, in the hope that this will atleast make her realise that my husband is happy in my happiness. They both started talking and even met on 3-4 occasions and 2-3 of them secret meetings at our home (only i knew that I didn't pointed out) with physical intimacy. Now due to some unknown reason both my wife and that boy are not talking to each other. Her behaviour had been very rude since that boy came to her life and she never realised that my husband is not pointing out this infidelity also. Now, when that boy is also not there, her disrespect towards me is increasing day by day. She starts fighting even at streets and shouting loudly. I have also given a thought for legal separation but due to my daughter I am not going ahead. I am in a very complex situation and don't understand what to do. How i can make her understand that relationship runs on two people. Please guide me further. One more thing to mention here she is not interested to go for councelling or anything like that. Thanks in advance. Regards.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife is perhaps one of those people who choose to see what's not happening rather than what good is actually happening. It's just a habit that can destroy their peace of mind and of those around them.
You are caught around her drama where she tries to find her happiness all around her when she can perfectly find it within the marriage. So, if there's something small that upsets her at home or does not go according to the way she thinks it should, instead of talking about it to you, she is someone who will find a way out outside and in things that can instantly make her feel better. That 27-year-old has ended up becoming some sort of a distraction and by you allowing it to go further whatever happens or doesn't will be blamed on you.
She's acting like a child in need of attention, incapable of addressing her own emotions, distracting herself with a new toy and then crying out creating drama around it all and oh, blaming you when things go wrong.
Got the picture, here? So, the way out is to actually take her to a professional who can guide her to regulate her thoughts an =d actually infuse her back into a family system. It's possible that her maternal home did not provide a great example in this regard...you might know better...
You can try and get through to her by requesting her to step in for your child's sake else the marriage can deteriorate further...So, give it a try.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |484 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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I am in relationship with a girl since 9 years, Yes we have came through a lot of ups & downs in our relationship, constant fights on same things , what i have always observed is that she doesn’t respect my family as my family was not ready for this relationship as future(marriage), so lately i have convinced my family for it & even their family also ready now, I see my family are not happy with this marriage but they are doing for my happiness, since now they are ready, I see very less changes in my gf’s approach towards my family, most of the thing I listen from her mouth are Anti-Family things like separation or against my families thoughts. I am really worried of how my future after marriage considering her, She even asks me to get separated from family, if things doesn’t work between them. Please help me in this situation
Ans: Marriage is not just about love between two people—it’s about aligning values, fostering respect, and building a shared vision for the future. If your girlfriend continues to express "anti-family" sentiments or encourages separation as a solution, it’s worth exploring whether this stems from unresolved fears, insecurities, or deeper incompatibilities in how you both view family relationships. These issues won’t magically resolve after marriage; in fact, they often intensify when unaddressed.

The key here is open communication. Have an honest, non-confrontational conversation with her about your concerns. Share how much it means to you that she respects your family and how her current attitude makes you feel. Equally, try to understand her perspective without judgment. This discussion isn’t about assigning blame but about finding common ground and exploring whether you both can work through these differences.

At the same time, reflect deeply on your own expectations and boundaries. Consider what a happy and fulfilling marriage looks like for you. If respect for your family and shared values about how to navigate family relationships are non-negotiables for you, it’s essential to make that clear and see whether she is willing to meet you halfway.

If these issues feel too difficult to resolve alone, seeking pre-marital counseling or relationship therapy can provide a safe space to address them constructively. Sometimes, having a neutral third party facilitate these conversations can lead to breakthroughs that are hard to achieve on your own.

Remember, marriage is a lifelong commitment, and entering into it with unresolved doubts or concerns can lead to deeper struggles later on. Take the time to ensure that both of you are ready not just to marry but to build a life that respects and honors each other's values and families.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 14, 2025

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Hi, i'm 49 years old and investing in HDFC Flexicap, HDFC Mid cap oppurtunities and ICICI prudential Nifty 50 index and also in NPS per month 5000 each. Is this sufficient for next 10 years.
Ans: Your current investment strategy reflects commitment and discipline. Here's a detailed evaluation and guidance for the next 10 years.

Existing Portfolio and Investment Pattern
Your investments in diversified equity mutual funds are a good starting point.

National Pension System (NPS) contributions add long-term security.

A balanced combination of equity and retirement-focused investments is appreciable.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds outperform benchmarks during market volatility.

Fund managers adjust portfolios to seize opportunities and minimize risks.

Your selected funds offer growth potential through expert-driven strategies.

Drawbacks of Index Funds
Index funds merely replicate a market index without adapting to changes.

They miss opportunities to outperform during market corrections.

Actively managed funds suit long-term goals better with higher growth prospects.

Investment Diversification
A mix of equity categories provides stability and growth.

Mid-cap funds add growth potential, while flexi-cap funds offer stability.

Ensure your portfolio balances risk and long-term returns effectively.

National Pension System (NPS) Contribution
NPS is a disciplined, tax-efficient retirement savings tool.

Allocations to equity and debt within NPS align with your risk appetite.

Regular contributions ensure a robust corpus for retirement.

Monitoring Inflation and Future Costs
Inflation impacts purchasing power and future goals.

Assess if your investments match inflation-adjusted needs.

Consider additional investments if current contributions fall short of future requirements.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Equity mutual funds have new capital gains tax rules.

Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax.

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%, reducing net returns.

Regular Review of Investments
Periodically evaluate your portfolio's performance.

Assess alignment with changing financial goals and market conditions.

Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your strategy.

Contingency Planning
Build an emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of expenses.

Keep it liquid in instruments like savings accounts or short-term debt funds.

This ensures financial security during unexpected situations.

Additional Recommendations
Avoid direct funds; regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner offer better insights.

Regular funds provide guidance, performance tracking, and informed decision-making.

Diversify further into large-cap or balanced funds if needed for reduced volatility.

Health Insurance and Risk Coverage
Ensure adequate health insurance for you and your family.

Review life insurance to match liabilities and responsibilities.

Separate insurance and investment for better clarity and effectiveness.

Adjusting Contributions
Increase investments as income grows over the next decade.

Regular increments enhance your corpus significantly over time.

Automated increases in SIP amounts can align with inflation and financial growth.

Future Goals and Planning
Define clear financial goals, including retirement, children’s education, and lifestyle.

Allocate funds based on goal timeframes and priorities.

Maintain a balance between aggressive growth and stability.

Final Insights
Your current strategy lays a solid foundation. However, continuous assessment ensures its relevance to future needs. Strengthen your portfolio with diversified investments, consistent reviews, and adjustments to achieve financial independence over the next decade.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 14, 2025

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I am doing SIP in QUANT SMALL CAP & MIDCAP since last 2 years. Recently they are involved in front running case and SEBI investigation is going on. My doubt is shall i continue SIP or stop the investment ? I am already having another 5 SIPS in small cap , midcap & flexi cap since last 5 years which are having CAGR of above 15%. If you advice me to stop SIP in QUANT, i will divert this amount in above 5 sips.
Ans: The ongoing SEBI investigation and other highlighted concerns about Quant Mutual Fund raise significant questions. Here is a comprehensive evaluation of whether to continue your SIPs or stop them.

1. Understanding the Current Situation with Quant Mutual Fund
SEBI conducted a search-and-seizure operation, not a routine enquiry.

Quant Mutual Fund clarified that the operation was part of a court-approved investigation.

Changes in leadership, such as the CFO's resignation, have added to investor concerns.

Despite these challenges, the fund house continues to assure full cooperation with SEBI.

2. Performance and Reputation of Quant Mutual Fund
Quant Mutual Fund has shown exceptional growth, with AUMs rising from Rs 233 crore to Rs 94,000 crore in four years.

The fund's small-cap schemes have delivered outstanding performance, often topping the charts.

Critics highlight red flags, including over-reliance on one individual and potential SEBI rule violations.

Momentum-based strategies and concentrated stock holdings raise questions about risk and sustainability.

3. Risks Associated with One-Man Show Management
Investment decisions reportedly rely heavily on Sandeep Tandon, the key figure at Quant.

Lack of a robust team structure and research capacity may pose systemic risks.

A one-person-driven strategy can lead to inconsistent performance in volatile markets.

Inadequate team size and resources could hinder the fund’s ability to address SEBI’s queries effectively.

4. Evaluating Diversification in Your Portfolio
You already have five SIPs in small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds performing well with over 15% CAGR.

Diversifying across multiple fund houses reduces exposure to single-entity risks.

Overlapping strategies within the same fund categories may lead to over-concentration.

Reassess your portfolio’s allocation to ensure alignment with your financial goals.

5. Tax Implications of Stopping SIP and Redeeming Investments
If you decide to stop SIPs and redeem investments, consider the tax impact.

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%, while STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemptions to minimise tax liability and reinvest strategically.

Use a Certified Financial Planner for tax-efficient portfolio adjustments.

6. Alternatives to Quant Funds for SIP Diversion
If you stop SIPs in Quant funds, divert the amount to your existing well-performing funds.

Actively managed funds with strong teams and transparent processes are ideal alternatives.

Ensure new investments align with your risk appetite and financial objectives.

Balance between equity and debt funds for portfolio stability and growth.

7. Impact of SEBI Investigation on Investor Confidence
SEBI’s findings may impact Quant Mutual Fund’s reputation and future performance.

Regulatory actions could introduce stricter compliance measures across the mutual fund industry.

Monitor updates on the investigation and assess its implications for the fund house.

Maintain vigilance about regulatory developments affecting the fund.

8. Importance of Fund House Credibility
A fund house's governance and transparency are critical for investor trust.

Reevaluate investments in funds with potential governance issues.

Choose funds with a strong track record of compliance and ethical practices.

Avoid funds overly dependent on individuals rather than institutional processes.

9. Making a Decision on Quant SIP Continuation
Reasons to Consider Stopping SIPs in Quant Funds:

Regulatory risks due to SEBI investigation.
Over-reliance on a one-man strategy.
Lack of institutional structure and research team.
Reasons to Consider Continuing SIPs in Quant Funds:

Exceptional past performance.
Potential for future returns if the fund overcomes current challenges.
10. Final Insights
The SEBI investigation and governance concerns warrant a cautious approach. If you are uncomfortable with the risks, stopping SIPs and diverting funds to your other well-performing SIPs is prudent. Maintain a diversified and balanced portfolio to safeguard your financial goals. Stay updated on SEBI developments and periodically review your investments with a Certified Financial Planner.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Money
My father expired recently. His Savings Accounts and FD's all are in nationalized banks. In most of the accounts my mother is nominee. As far as FD is concerned either he has kept my mother as nominee or they are joint holders. In all this banks my mother also has savings account and fds in her name. Kindly advise about the banking procedure. We want to invest my fathers hard earned money. Also flat is owned by my father and mother jointly. Advise about that procedure also. I have one sister and I am married with son. Before dying he has not left any will.
Ans: Losing a loved one is always difficult. Managing financial matters requires careful attention. Below is a detailed plan to handle your father’s accounts and investments.

1. Managing Savings Accounts
Check for nominee details on all savings accounts.

If your mother is the nominee, the process is straightforward.

Submit the following documents to the bank:

Death certificate of your father.
Nominee’s identity proof and address proof.
Bank account details of the nominee for fund transfer.
The bank will verify documents and transfer funds to the nominee’s account.

If no nominee is registered, the bank will request legal heir documents.

A succession certificate may be required.
Apply through the district court for this certificate.
2. Handling Fixed Deposits (FDs)
Joint Holder FDs:
If the FD is jointly held with “either or survivor” clause, your mother can access it directly.
Submit the death certificate and a simple application to continue or withdraw the FD.
Nominee FDs:
If your mother is the nominee, submit her identity proof and the death certificate.
The funds will be transferred to her account.
FDs Without Nominee:
For such cases, the legal heir process will apply.
Obtain a succession certificate for claiming the funds.
3. Managing the Jointly Owned Flat
The flat is jointly owned by your parents.

Your mother automatically inherits your father’s share.

To update ownership records:

Submit your father’s death certificate to the housing society.
Request a name transfer form from the society.
For legal ownership transfer:

Update property records with the sub-registrar’s office.
Submit the death certificate and joint ownership documents.
Discuss with your sister to ensure no future disputes.

4. Creating an Investment Plan for Your Mother
Assessing Current Funds:
Consolidate all proceeds from your father’s accounts and FDs.
Include the savings, FDs, and other assets your mother holds.
Identifying Financial Goals:
Prioritise safety and liquidity for your mother’s needs.
Create provisions for emergencies and regular income.
Suggested Investments:
Invest in a mix of debt and balanced mutual funds for stability.
Include senior citizen savings schemes for guaranteed returns.
Ensure liquidity by keeping some funds in fixed deposits or liquid funds.
5. Family Consent and Legal Safeguards
Discuss all financial matters openly with your sister.

Take written consent from family members before major decisions.

Create a will for your mother to avoid future complications.

Include all assets and their intended distribution in the will.

6. Tax Implications and Planning
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to manage taxes efficiently.

Interest income from FDs and mutual funds will be taxable.

Plan investments under Section 80C and 80D to save tax.

Keep track of long-term and short-term capital gains taxation.

7. Building a Comprehensive Financial Plan
Ensure your mother has adequate health and life insurance.

Set aside emergency funds for unforeseen expenses.

Regularly review investments for optimal performance.

Diversify funds to reduce risks and maintain steady returns.

8. Educating Your Family on Financial Matters
Involve your family in understanding financial procedures.

Teach them the importance of nominations and joint accounts.

Create a list of all assets and liabilities for easy reference.

Share this list with your spouse and trusted family members.

Final Insights
Handling your father’s hard-earned money requires care and responsibility. Following the correct procedures ensures smooth transitions. Create a robust financial plan to protect and grow these funds for your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 43 years old drawing monthly salary of 3.5 lakhs. I have multiple loans going on for property and the monthly outgo is 2.4 lakhs. Rental income 30k. The loans would end in next 5-6 years. My monthly SIP amount is 34000. Total accumulated amount is 31 lacs. Annual LIC is 80k. Maturity value of LIC is 30 lacs and i policies wud mature in 4 years. My another investment is in TATA AIG life insurance for which annual outgo is 5.5 lacs for next 3 years. I would receive 65 lacs approx after 13 years. Total PF amount is 60 lacs as of now, plan to work till 65. I have term plan of 1.5 cr till 75 yrs. family health insurance of 1cr. I have son aged 12 n daughter 3 . I would need around 1cr for their education and an equal amount for their wedding. I would need a corpus of around 3 to 4 cr for retirement. What should i do to reach this goal. How do i reduce my obligations which this moment seems to be significant.
Ans: At 43, you have significant responsibilities and aspirations. Balancing your current obligations and future goals requires a structured approach. Let us create a plan that helps reduce your financial burden and achieve your long-term goals.

1. Evaluate Current Financial Situation
Your monthly salary is Rs 3.5 lakhs.

Loan EMIs amount to Rs 2.4 lakhs monthly, with 5-6 years remaining.

Rental income of Rs 30,000 offsets some EMIs.

Your SIP amount is Rs 34,000 monthly, and the accumulated corpus is Rs 31 lakhs.

LIC premiums of Rs 80,000 annually will mature in 4 years with Rs 30 lakhs.

TATA AIG life insurance premium is Rs 5.5 lakhs annually for 3 more years.

This policy offers Rs 65 lakhs after 13 years.

Your EPF corpus is Rs 60 lakhs and will grow until retirement.

You have a term insurance plan of Rs 1.5 crore till 75 years.

Family health insurance coverage is Rs 1 crore.

2. Understand Your Financial Goals
Education funds of Rs 1 crore for your children are needed over time.
Wedding expenses of Rs 1 crore are anticipated in the future.
Retirement corpus required is Rs 3-4 crore by age 65.
3. Address High Financial Obligations
Your loans consume 68% of your salary. Prioritise early closure.
Use bonuses or increments to prepay loans.
Focus on high-interest loans first, like personal loans or high-interest EMIs.
Consider restructuring loans for lower EMIs if possible.
4. Optimize Current Investments
LIC Policy:
The annual premium of Rs 80,000 adds to your financial burden.
Surrendering this policy and reinvesting in mutual funds can yield better returns.
Consult with your Certified Financial Planner for the exact process.
TATA AIG Life Insurance:
The annual outgo of Rs 5.5 lakhs is substantial.
Evaluate the policy’s cost-benefit ratio.
Surrender the policy if returns are suboptimal. Redirect funds to mutual funds.
SIP Investment:
Continue your Rs 34,000 monthly SIP.
Diversify across equity, hybrid, and debt mutual funds.
Allocate more to equity funds for long-term goals.
5. Focus on Children’s Education and Wedding Goals
For education, start investing separately in balanced mutual funds.
Target medium-term funds that align with your child’s higher education timelines.
For weddings, allocate funds into conservative equity and hybrid funds.
Review the progress every year to ensure sufficient accumulation.
6. Build Your Retirement Corpus
Your EPF corpus of Rs 60 lakhs will grow significantly by 65.
Supplement EPF with equity SIPs for long-term growth.
Increase SIP contributions gradually as loan EMIs reduce.
Reassess your retirement needs regularly, adjusting for inflation.
7. Ensure Adequate Insurance Coverage
Your term insurance of Rs 1.5 crore is sufficient for family protection.
Maintain your Rs 1 crore health insurance for unforeseen medical expenses.
Avoid ULIPs or endowment plans for insurance; stick to term insurance.
8. Tax Planning for Maximum Savings
Claim deductions under Section 80C for PF, SIPs, and insurance premiums.
Use Section 80D for health insurance premium tax benefits.
Plan investments to reduce tax outgo and boost savings.
9. Monitor and Adjust Investments
Review your portfolio every six months.
Rebalance to maintain the right asset allocation.
Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for better decisions.
10. Manage Lifestyle Expenses
Track discretionary expenses to identify areas for savings.
Avoid lifestyle inflation to increase your surplus.
Redirect savings toward investments and loan prepayments.
Finally
Your goals are achievable with disciplined planning. Start reducing obligations and focusing on efficient investments. Take guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Money
Iam 48 year man , no investment yet. I need to start invest 30000 monthly in sip. Please advise.
Ans: You are taking a vital step toward financial stability. Starting SIPs of Rs 30,000 monthly is a great choice. Here's how you can maximise this opportunity:

1. Understand Your Financial Goals
Define your goals clearly.
Split goals into short-term, medium-term, and long-term categories.
For instance, goals may include retirement, children's education, or a contingency fund.
2. Emergency Fund Comes First
Build an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months' expenses.
Keep it in a liquid fund or savings account.
This ensures financial security during unexpected events.
3. Risk Assessment
Assess your risk tolerance based on age, goals, and responsibilities.
As you are 48, balance risk and returns carefully.
Avoid taking excessive risks at this stage of life.
4. Asset Allocation is Key
Allocate funds wisely between equity, debt, and hybrid mutual funds.
Equity mutual funds are ideal for long-term goals like retirement.
Debt funds suit medium-term goals like a child’s education.
Hybrid funds offer balanced growth and safety for moderate goals.
5. Select Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform index funds in the Indian market.
Fund managers adapt strategies to market conditions.
This flexibility can lead to better returns compared to index funds.
6. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Invest Rs 30,000 monthly in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.
SIPs bring financial discipline and reduce market volatility impact.
Long-term SIPs benefit from the power of compounding.
7. Tax Efficiency in Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds offer lower long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax.
LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh annually is taxed at 12.5%.
Debt funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Choose funds based on your tax bracket and investment horizon.
8. Regular Funds Through a CFP
Invest in regular funds with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner.
CFPs help you choose the right funds based on your goals.
Regular funds come with professional support for better management.
9. Review and Rebalance Portfolio
Review your investments every six months or annually.
Rebalance based on market changes and goal progress.
Adjust allocations to maintain an optimal risk-return balance.
10. Insure Yourself Adequately
Ensure sufficient health and life insurance coverage.
Avoid mixing investment and insurance in one product.
A term insurance policy is ideal for life cover.
11. Retirement Planning is Crucial
Invest in equity funds for long-term retirement goals.
Aim for a corpus that sustains your post-retirement lifestyle.
Consider inflation and rising healthcare costs while planning.
12. Monitor Lifestyle Inflation
Keep lifestyle inflation in check to save more.
Prioritise needs over wants to increase your savings potential.
Focus on financial discipline for a secure future.
13. Avoid Common Pitfalls
Avoid stopping SIPs during market downturns.
Do not withdraw funds prematurely without valid reasons.
Avoid emotional decisions; stick to your plan.
14. Consult a Certified Financial Planner
A CFP ensures you stay aligned with your financial objectives.
They help optimise your portfolio for better returns.
Professional guidance helps you navigate market complexities.
15. Educate Yourself About Investments
Understand the basics of mutual funds and market dynamics.
This knowledge helps you make informed decisions.
Stay updated on economic trends and fund performance.
Finally
Your initiative to invest Rs 30,000 monthly is commendable. Consistency and discipline will bring excellent results. Follow the above steps to build a robust financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1142 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
Maine msc zoology kiya hai teaching line me mujhe jyada pais nahi mil raha hai kya mai computer line jaise jetking se course karke mujhe IT engineer ban sakti hu mujhe jyada salary milegi
Ans: Hello dear.
You completed an M.Sc. (Zoology) and started a career in teaching. Only due to less money/salary, do you wish to change the career option? I think this is not good at an early stage. If the person excels in a subject like Biology then there is no problem with getting a job and a high salary. If you are well aquatinted with computers then you can run online classes for Biology or can join a branded institute where offline along with online coaching is done. To achieve this level, you have to excel in subject knowledge, communication skills, computer skills, and a sound technique to connect with the students to gain success in the teaching field. Now, looking towards your other option for joining other computer courses via any institute at this level is not recommended. To excel in IT, you need at least 5-6 years of strong exposure and need to make very hard efforts for that. It is not sure that you may get a job with a high salary. Rather, you can choose some diploma courses related to A.I. and digital Marketing, etc. where you can start your career with a moderate salary but can reach to your desired level in a short time if you master the skills.

Final suggestion: It is better to search for a job related to M.Sc. (Zoology) other than teaching if not satisfied.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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