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Should I Invest in These 10 Mutual Funds for 25 Years?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 23, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi
Money

Dear Sir, I request you to guide me on below MFs investment for long term (25yrs): 1. Large Cap 1.1 Nippon India Large Cap 1.2 ICICI Prudential Bluechip. 2. Mid Cap 2.1 Quant Mid Cap Fund 2.2 HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities. 3. Small Cap 3.1 Quant Small Cap 3.2 Nippon India Small Cap. 4. Multi Cap 4.1 Quant Active Fund 4.2 Nippon India Multi Cap. 5. Flexi Cap 5.1 Quant Flexi Cap 5.2 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap. Planning to invest between 3K to 5K on monthly basis in one fund from each category. Kindly let me know if you have any better MFs in which I can invest. You're guidance will be much helpful for building a long term wealth. Thank you in advance.

Ans: You’ve done well in considering a diverse range of mutual funds for long-term wealth creation. Investing regularly over 25 years can indeed help you build significant wealth. However, let's take a closer look at your chosen funds and explore how to maximize your returns while managing risks.

Concerns with Index and Direct Funds
First, it's important to understand some potential issues with the funds you’ve chosen:

Disadvantages of Index Funds: Index funds simply track an index and do not offer any active management. In times of market volatility, they may underperform. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, have the flexibility to adapt and potentially outperform the market.

Direct vs. Regular Plans: Direct plans of mutual funds have lower expense ratios, but they lack the personalized advice and financial planning that comes with investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). Regular plans, invested through a CFP, provide ongoing guidance, which can be invaluable over a 25-year investment horizon.

Large-Cap Fund Selection
Large-cap funds offer stability with moderate growth potential. Your choice of funds like Nippon India Large Cap and ICICI Prudential Bluechip is good, but let’s consider some alternatives:

Actively Managed Funds: Instead of passive large-cap funds, you might consider actively managed large-cap funds. These funds have the potential to outperform the index, offering better long-term returns.

Fund Manager Expertise: A skilled fund manager can make informed decisions that benefit the fund during different market cycles. This is crucial for long-term growth.

Mid-Cap Fund Selection
Mid-cap funds can offer higher returns, but they come with higher risks. Your choices of Quant Mid Cap Fund and HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities are interesting, but let's ensure your portfolio is balanced:

Active Management: Mid-cap stocks can be volatile. An actively managed mid-cap fund allows the fund manager to pick stocks with strong growth potential, reducing the risk of poor performers dragging down the fund.

Diversification: Ensure that the mid-cap fund you choose is well-diversified. This helps spread the risk across multiple sectors and companies.

Small-Cap Fund Selection
Small-cap funds are known for their high growth potential, but they also carry significant risks. The funds you’ve selected, like Quant Small Cap and Nippon India Small Cap, need careful consideration:

Higher Volatility: Small-cap funds can be highly volatile. While they offer high returns, the risk of loss is also high. Consider this carefully, especially since you’re planning a long-term investment.

Expert Guidance: It’s crucial to have a CFP guide you when investing in small-cap funds. Their expertise can help you navigate the ups and downs of this category.

Multi-Cap Fund Selection
Multi-cap funds invest across different market capitalizations, providing a balanced mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks. Your choices of Quant Active Fund and Nippon India Multi Cap Fund are on the right track:

Balanced Exposure: Multi-cap funds offer diversified exposure across market caps. This can help reduce risk while providing growth opportunities.

Active Management: Opt for actively managed multi-cap funds where the fund manager can adjust the allocation based on market conditions, potentially boosting returns.

Flexi-Cap Fund Selection
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility in investing across market capitalizations without any predefined limits. The funds you’ve chosen, like Quant Flexi Cap and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, are worth considering, but with some insights:

Flexibility Advantage: Flexi-cap funds allow fund managers to allocate assets across large, mid, and small caps as per market opportunities. This flexibility can be beneficial in changing market conditions.

Managerial Expertise: Ensure that the flexi-cap fund you choose has a strong track record and is managed by a skilled fund manager. This can make a significant difference in long-term performance.

Suggested Portfolio Allocation
Considering your goal of long-term wealth creation and your risk tolerance, here’s a suggested allocation strategy:

Large-Cap Fund (Actively Managed): Allocate Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly. This provides a stable foundation with moderate growth potential.

Mid-Cap Fund (Actively Managed): Allocate Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly. This offers higher returns with some risk.

Small-Cap Fund (Actively Managed): Allocate Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly. This is higher risk but can contribute significantly to your portfolio’s growth.

Multi-Cap Fund (Actively Managed): Allocate Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly. This offers diversified exposure and balances risk across different market caps.

Flexi-Cap Fund (Actively Managed): Allocate Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly. This provides flexibility and potential for optimized returns.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Investing over 25 years requires regular monitoring and rebalancing to ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your goals:

Annual Review: Conduct an annual review of your portfolio. Assess the performance of each fund and consult with your CFP to make any necessary adjustments.

Market Conditions: Stay informed about market conditions. Your CFP can guide you on whether to stay the course or make changes to your portfolio.

Life Changes: As life changes, so should your investment strategy. A CFP can help you adjust your investments based on major life events like marriage, buying a home, or planning for your child’s education.

Final Insights
Your commitment to long-term wealth creation is commendable. However, fine-tuning your investment strategy can help you achieve better results:

Focus on Active Management: Replace index and direct funds with actively managed funds. This can enhance your portfolio’s performance over the long term.

Work with a CFP: Regular investments through a CFP ensure that you have a partner in your financial journey, optimizing returns while managing risks.

Diversify Wisely: Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across different market caps and sectors. This helps balance risk and return.

Stay Engaged: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio. Staying engaged with your investments is key to long-term success.

Investing is a marathon, not a sprint. With the right strategy and expert guidance, you can build a solid financial future for yourself and your loved ones.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2023Hindi
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SIR, I am investing 12000/-pm from April 23 , in following MFs. 1.Nippon India small cap @2000/- 2.Axis small cap fund direct growth @1000/- 3.SBI Magnum Mid cap@2000/- 4.Nippon india growth direct fund @1000/- 5.HDFC index S&P BSE sensex direct @2000/- 6.SBI Bluechip direct plan growth @2000/- 7.ICICI prudential bluechip @2000/- Plan for investment is 5 Yrs for a required wealth of 25 Lacs, please advice whether I am on right track.
Ans: Your investment plan seems diversified with allocations across different types of mutual funds, including small-cap, mid-cap, index funds, and large-cap funds. Here are some key points to consider:

Diversification: You have spread your investments across various categories, which can help reduce risk and enhance potential returns over the long term.

Investment Horizon: Investing for a period of 5 years is a good approach, but ensure that your investment horizon aligns with your financial goals. Since equity investments can be volatile in the short term, it's essential to stay invested for the long term to ride out market fluctuations.

Risk Assessment: Small-cap and mid-cap funds tend to be riskier than large-cap and index funds due to their higher volatility. Make sure you are comfortable with the risk level associated with these investments based on your risk tolerance and investment objectives.

Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments if needed. Consider rebalancing your portfolio periodically to maintain your desired asset allocation and risk level.

Professional Advice: If you're uncertain about your investment strategy or need personalized guidance, consider consulting with a financial advisor who can provide tailored recommendations based on your financial situation and goals.

Overall, your investment plan appears to be on the right track, but it's crucial to monitor your investments regularly and stay informed about market developments. Adjust your strategy as needed to stay on course towards achieving your wealth accumulation goal of 25 lakhs in 5 years.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, I request you to guide me on below MFs investment for long term (25yrs): 1. Large Cap 1.1 Nippon India Large Cap 1.2 ICICI Prudential Bluechip 2. Mid Cap 2.1 Quant Mid Cap Fund 2.2 HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities 3. Small Cap 3.1 Quant Small Cap 3.2 Nippon India Small Cap 4. Multi Cap 4.1 Quant Active Fund 4.2 Nippon India Multi Cap 5. Flexi Cap 5.1 Quant Flexi Cap 5.2 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Planning to invest between 3K to 5K on monthly basis. Kindly let me know if you have any better MFs in which I can invest. You're guidance will be much helpful for building a long term wealth. Thank you in advance.
Ans: Investing in mutual funds for the long term is a great way to build wealth. You've chosen a diverse mix of funds across various categories. Let’s dive into each category and discuss their potential, as well as some general advice on managing your investments over a 25-year period.

It's great to see you’re taking proactive steps towards securing your financial future. Your detailed plan shows you’ve done your research. Let’s refine it to ensure you’re on the best path.

Understanding Your Current Selections

Large Cap Funds

Nippon India Large Cap Fund
ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund
Large cap funds are generally safer and provide steady returns. They invest in well-established companies with a large market capitalization.

Mid Cap Funds

Quant Mid Cap Fund
HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities Fund
Mid cap funds have the potential for higher returns than large caps but come with higher risk. They invest in medium-sized companies poised for growth.

Small Cap Funds

Quant Small Cap Fund
Nippon India Small Cap Fund
Small cap funds can offer significant growth but are also more volatile. They invest in smaller companies with high growth potential.

Multi Cap Funds

Quant Active Fund
Nippon India Multi Cap Fund
Multi cap funds invest across large, mid, and small cap stocks, providing diversification and balanced risk.

Flexi Cap Funds

Quant Flexi Cap Fund
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund
Flexi cap funds offer flexibility to invest in companies across market capitalizations, adapting to market conditions.

Assessing Your Investment Strategy

Diversification

Your selection is well-diversified across different market caps. This helps spread risk and capture growth from various segments of the market.

Consistency

Investing Rs 3K to 5K monthly in each category is a disciplined approach. Regular investments via SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) help average out market volatility.

Long-Term Perspective

With a 25-year investment horizon, you can afford to take on more risk initially and gradually shift towards safer investments as you approach your goal.

Evaluating Your Fund Choices

Large Cap Funds

Large cap funds are less volatile and provide stability. The funds you’ve chosen are reputable, but it’s crucial to monitor their performance regularly. Actively managed funds can outperform index funds by leveraging professional fund managers' expertise.

Mid Cap Funds

Mid cap funds can offer substantial returns. Both Quant Mid Cap and HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities have shown good performance. Ensure they continue to align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Small Cap Funds

Small cap funds are highly volatile but can be rewarding over a long period. Quant Small Cap and Nippon India Small Cap are strong choices, but keep an eye on market conditions and fund performance.

Multi Cap Funds

Multi cap funds provide a balanced approach, investing across various market caps. They are less risky than small or mid cap funds while offering potential for growth.

Flexi Cap Funds

Flexi cap funds are versatile, allowing fund managers to shift investments based on market conditions. Quant Flexi Cap and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap are well-regarded, but regular review is necessary.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market through strategic stock selection and risk management. Fund managers adjust portfolios based on market trends and economic conditions, potentially providing higher returns compared to index funds. However, these funds have higher expense ratios due to management fees.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds save on commission costs but lack professional guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures you receive tailored advice, portfolio reviews, and rebalancing services. This personalized attention can help optimize your investment strategy.

Long-Term Investment Tips

Stay Informed

Keep track of your funds' performance and market trends. Regularly read financial news and reports to stay updated.

Review and Rebalance

Periodically review your portfolio. Rebalance if necessary to maintain your desired asset allocation. This helps manage risk and capture growth opportunities.

Tax Efficiency

Utilize tax-saving instruments like ELSS funds to optimize your tax liabilities. Understand the tax implications of your investments to maximize returns.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. This prevents you from dipping into your investments during emergencies.

Avoid Emotional Decisions

Market fluctuations are normal. Avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements. Stick to your long-term strategy.

Future Financial Planning

Child’s Education and Marriage

Start investing in instruments like PPF, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (for a girl child), or dedicated mutual funds for your child's education and marriage expenses. These instruments offer tax benefits and secure returns.

Retirement Planning

Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt funds for retirement. As you approach retirement, gradually shift towards safer investments to preserve capital.

Wealth Accumulation

Continue investing consistently. Compounding works best over the long term, so the earlier you start, the better. Diversify your portfolio to mitigate risks and capture growth across different sectors.

Final Insights

Your proactive approach to investing is commendable. By maintaining a diversified portfolio and investing consistently, you’re well on your way to building substantial wealth over the next 25 years. Remember to periodically review your investments, rebalance your portfolio, and stay informed about market trends. Utilizing the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner can further enhance your investment strategy and ensure you meet your financial goals. Keep up the disciplined investment approach, and you’ll likely achieve a secure and prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Money
I hv following MF, need your advice on this fund for Long terms: 1. HDFC MNC Fund(From 1.5 Year): 3500/PM 2.Nippon India Consumptions Fund(From 1.5 Year): 3500/PM 3.HDFC Midcap Opportunity Fund(From 12 Year): 3500/PM 4. Nippon Small Cap Fund(From 12 Year): 2500/PM 5.HSBC Value Fund (From 10 Year):3500/PM 6.Axis ELSS Tax Saving Fund(From 10 Year): 2000/PM 7. Quant ELSS Tax Saving Fund(From 2 Year): 5000/PM 8. Mirae Asset Focused Fund(LUM SUM-3 Year): 250000 Want 2 Cr in next 8 Year. Is it possible with this fund or advice how reach my goal.
Ans: To achieve Rs 2 crore in 8 years, a focused approach is essential. Your portfolio includes various funds across different categories, and assessing these for long-term growth is critical. Below is a 360-degree analysis and guidance to enhance your investment strategy.

Portfolio Analysis: Assessing Your Current Holdings
Your current portfolio includes both equity and tax-saving mutual funds. Here’s an assessment of each:

HDFC MNC Fund and Nippon India Consumption Fund: These sector funds target specific themes (MNCs and consumption sectors). While they can provide high growth during favorable market conditions, they are generally riskier as they depend on the performance of specific sectors.

HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund and Nippon Small Cap Fund: These funds focus on mid- and small-cap stocks, offering high growth potential over the long term. However, they also come with increased volatility. Since you have been invested for a long period (12 years), these funds likely contributed significantly to portfolio growth. Mid- and small-cap allocations should ideally not exceed 40% of your total equity exposure due to volatility.

HSBC Value Fund: This fund adopts a value investment style, focusing on undervalued stocks. Value funds can be less volatile, providing balance in an equity-heavy portfolio.

Axis ELSS and Quant ELSS Funds: These tax-saving funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C. The Quant ELSS Fund has a higher allocation, indicating a more aggressive approach in your tax-saving investments. Consider streamlining your ELSS choices if tax-saving goals are already met, or if tax efficiency could be improved through other avenues.

Mirae Asset Focused Fund (Lump Sum): This concentrated fund style (investing in fewer stocks) suits investors seeking high conviction investments. As a lump-sum investment, it’s well-aligned with your goal but may require periodic review due to the concentration of holdings.

Your funds are relatively diversified. However, to maximize growth potential and stability, adjustments and regular monitoring can help optimize your portfolio.

Expected Growth: Assessing Feasibility for Rs 2 Crore Goal in 8 Years
Achieving Rs 2 crore in 8 years with your current portfolio is challenging but possible with the right adjustments:

Equity-Heavy Strategy: Equity exposure is essential for long-term growth, especially for aggressive goals. Maintaining around 70%-80% in equities is advisable if you can handle market volatility.

Potential Annual Return Range: Aiming for a CAGR (compounded annual growth rate) of 12%-14% is reasonable with a well-balanced portfolio. However, returns are market-dependent and can vary widely.

Recommendations for Portfolio Enhancement
To enhance your chances of achieving the Rs 2 crore target, consider the following strategies:

1. Rebalance Sector Funds
Sector-specific funds like HDFC MNC Fund and Nippon India Consumption Fund are high-risk because they depend on industry performance. You might consider reducing allocation to sector funds and diversifying into flexi-cap funds for broader market exposure.
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility in asset allocation across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, which can better capture market potential while spreading risk.
2. Evaluate Mid- and Small-Cap Allocations
Small-cap funds like Nippon Small Cap Fund can yield higher returns, but also bring volatility. Ensure that mid- and small-cap exposure stays within your risk tolerance, ideally capping at 40%.
If volatility is a concern, you could reallocate some of the funds towards large-cap or balanced advantage funds, which are more stable and offer moderate growth.
3. Streamline ELSS Holdings
Two tax-saving ELSS funds can be simplified. Retain one based on performance consistency and reduce redundancy. Since ELSS has a 3-year lock-in, evaluate which fund has better performance and aligns with your risk preference.
Redirect the savings from ELSS funds towards diversified equity funds with strong long-term performance for better growth.
4. Regular Funds through Certified Financial Planner
Direct funds come without an advisor’s guidance, potentially limiting personalized insights. Investing in regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide professional oversight, fund rebalancing, and tax planning as market conditions change.
CFPs offer active portfolio monitoring, which is essential for high-value goals. They can help you stay on track and make timely adjustments.
5. Actively Managed vs. Index Funds
Index funds simply replicate market indices, which can limit growth potential during volatile times. Actively managed funds allow fund managers to take advantage of market opportunities, providing higher growth prospects.
An actively managed fund, especially through a skilled MFD with CFP credentials, brings expert-driven insights and performance adjustments for changing market conditions.
Tax Efficiency: Plan for Capital Gains
The new taxation rules for capital gains impact mutual fund investments, and optimizing tax efficiency is key:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%, while short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income tax slab.
By leveraging these tax strategies, you can minimize tax outflows, keeping your returns higher.

Regular Portfolio Review
For ambitious goals, regular portfolio review is essential. Ideally, review every 6-12 months to assess performance and realign with market conditions.

Market-Based Adjustments: Economic shifts impact sector-specific funds; hence, adjustments may be needed to maintain a balanced portfolio.
Rebalancing Frequency: Periodically rebalance to ensure you’re on track to achieve the Rs 2 crore target. A Certified Financial Planner can assist with periodic rebalancing and proactive adjustments.
Additional Monthly Contribution
If feasible, consider increasing your monthly contribution for an enhanced growth trajectory. Consistent monthly top-ups can help counter market downturns and accelerate growth.

Emergency Fund and Insurance Check
Ensure that your emergency fund and insurance are well-planned, as these factors are crucial for goal continuity:

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund worth 6 months of expenses in a low-risk, highly liquid asset.
Insurance: Adequate life and health insurance protect your dependents and investments, helping ensure that your financial goals remain achievable even in emergencies.
Final Insights
Achieving Rs 2 crore in 8 years is possible with disciplined investments, strategic fund choices, and regular monitoring. Rebalancing high-risk funds, optimizing ELSS, and leveraging actively managed funds can give your portfolio the best chance at strong returns. Consistent review and adjustments will help you stay on track toward your ambitious goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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