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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Money

Me and my husband both are working.my salary in hand 1 lacs and my husband salary is 1.5 lacs in hand.we have two personal loan of 35000 emi and 20k emi.and 20 k car loan emi and one home loan emi 27k .we are paying 35k rent in current city.can we take another loan for my business?

Ans: You both are doing well with your current income. Your combined take-home income is Rs. 2.5 lakhs monthly. This is quite a solid base for building wealth. However, adding another loan for business needs to be evaluated carefully. Let’s assess your finances in a structured and simple way.

Current Monthly Income and Obligations

Your in-hand salary: Rs. 1,00,000

Your husband’s in-hand salary: Rs. 1,50,000

Total monthly income: Rs. 2,50,000

Monthly EMI Commitments

Personal loan EMI 1: Rs. 35,000

Personal loan EMI 2: Rs. 20,000

Car loan EMI: Rs. 20,000

Home loan EMI: Rs. 27,000

Rent: Rs. 35,000

Total Fixed Monthly Outgoings

Total EMIs: Rs. 1,02,000

Rent: Rs. 35,000

Total committed outflow: Rs. 1,37,000

Your fixed financial obligations are more than 54% of your monthly income. That is quite high.

Assessment of Your Loan Capacity

Ideally, EMIs should not exceed 40% of income

You are already paying over 54% towards EMIs

That leaves around Rs. 1,13,000 for all other expenses

This includes groceries, utilities, child care, insurance, savings, and emergencies

Taking another loan now could add more strain. Even if the business is promising, managing cash flow will be hard.

Business Loan Considerations

Before going ahead, ask yourself:

Is this a necessity or a desire?

How much capital do you need exactly?

Is there any collateral or asset to support the loan?

Will the business earn money soon or take time?

Will your spouse support this loan too?

Borrowing for business without clarity could lead to pressure. You need a proper business plan first.

Ways to Reduce Current Financial Stress

You may take these steps before thinking of another loan:

Try to close one personal loan early

Use bonuses or yearly incentives for part-payment

Avoid new credit card debts or shopping loans

Track expenses and reduce lifestyle costs

Delay any big expenses for now

Reducing one EMI will make things smoother.

Savings and Emergency Fund

This is very important if you plan to start a business:

Do you have emergency savings?

Ideally, keep 6 months’ expenses aside

Rs. 1.5 to 2 lakhs minimum should be easily available

Without this, any small risk may force you into another loan

Avoid relying only on credit cards in emergencies

Keep this fund untouched except for emergencies.

Investment Planning for the Long-Term

Business dreams are good. But never ignore long-term goals:

Are you saving for child education?

Do you have retirement investments?

Any life insurance cover in place?

Are you building wealth beyond salary?

If not, start SIPs in mutual funds. But only after meeting basic needs.

Why Mutual Funds Through CFP is Better

Regular mutual funds via a CFP guide you

They suggest the right funds for your goals

They offer help in tracking and rebalancing

You avoid DIY mistakes common in direct funds

A Certified Financial Planner brings discipline

Regular funds have trail fees but better service

In direct funds, you have to manage all by yourself. Many investors fail without support.

Budgeting Help for Business Planning

Use a monthly budget approach. Break your money into clear parts:

EMIs and rent

Household and groceries

Insurance and savings

Personal expenses

Business seed fund (if any)

Do not mix business and personal spending. Keep them separate.

Risk of Taking Business Loan Now

Here’s what could happen:

Business takes time, but EMIs are fixed

Income may reduce temporarily

Savings may drop to zero

One small emergency may disturb the whole plan

Personal loans and car loan are unsecured. Default affects credit score

This is not a safe time to increase liabilities. Think more.

Alternative Approach Instead of Loan

Try these instead:

Start business small from savings

Do it as a side hustle without quitting job

Validate business idea before taking loan

Ask family for small soft loan if needed

Check if your husband can support as partner

Avoid burdening the family for something that is still untested.

If Business Is Already Running

If your business is running:

Show 6 months cash flow

Prepare clear profit estimates

Only then approach bank with confidence

A good record increases loan approval chance

Avoid NBFCs or private lenders with high interest

Banks give better terms but ask for documents.

How a Certified Financial Planner Can Help

Helps assess current income and loan ratio

Offers a full budget view and stress testing

Helps balance personal and business goals

Builds a solid investment strategy

Plans for education, retirement and risk cover

Keeps emotions out of money decisions

Gives a long-term view, not just short term

Working with a planner ensures peace and clarity.

Review Current Loans with Planner

Can any loan be consolidated?

Can home loan be refinanced?

Can car loan be closed early?

Is there a better repayment strategy?

These steps will reduce interest and save money.

Loan Burden and Business Risk Don’t Go Well Together

Loans need fixed payment

Business income is variable in early years

That mix creates financial pressure

Better to reduce EMIs before taking new loan

Plan slowly but surely

Risk in business should not disturb family stability.

Life and Health Insurance Protection

You must have this before thinking of a loan:

Life cover of minimum 10 times your salary

Term insurance only, not investment plans

Health cover for self and family minimum Rs. 5 lakhs

This avoids financial shocks during illness

If you have any LIC or ULIP plans, review them. Most give poor returns.

Surrender Old Policies If Needed

ULIPs or traditional LIC plans give 4-5% return

Mutual funds give higher returns in long run

You may surrender and reinvest via CFP

Ensure you are not breaking a lock-in period

Take guidance from certified planner

Money should grow, not sleep in poor products.

Final Insights

Your income is strong but current EMIs are high

Business loan can be taken later after reducing one EMI

Start business small without loan if possible

Keep emergency fund ready before taking any new step

Don’t mix emotions with financial planning

Take time, build slowly and get expert guidance

Your goals, your child’s future and your retirement matter more

Do proper planning before any new commitment

Money decisions must be sustainable, not rushed

You both are already doing great by earning well. Now it’s time to plan smarter.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir, I have 36 lac of personal loan (70k/ month) and 30 lac of personal loan (30k/ month EMI) . My salary is 1.30 lac and I have MF 9 lac Please advise
Ans: Present Situation Overview

You shared clear numbers. Thank you for transparency.

Two personal loans equal Rs 66 lakh total.

Monthly EMIs sum to Rs 1 lakh.

Net salary is Rs 1.30 lakh each month.

Liquid mutual funds stand at Rs 9 lakh.

Disposable income after EMIs is near Rs 30,000.

High debt takes big salary share.

Cash?flow stress looks serious yet manageable with discipline.

Cash Flow Stress Test

Work out detailed monthly budget right now.

Track every rupee for three months.

Split costs into must?have and good?to?have.

Must?have list: rent, food, utilities, medicines, premiums.

Good?to?have list: eating out, new gadgets, holidays, gifting.

Aim to cap non?essential spends below Rs 5,000 monthly.

Redirect saved cash toward emergency fund first.

Bring family on board early.

Use free budgeting apps or simple notebooks.

Review progress each Sunday night.

Risk Protection Shield

Check life cover against outstanding loans.

Term insurance cover should beat loan size plus goals.

If not sufficient, buy extra term cover today.

Premium small versus peace of mind.

Maintain existing health insurance without lapses.

Add personal accident cover if missing.

Insurance cost fits inside essential budget.

Protection first; growth later.

Emergency Reserve Strategy

Absence of cushion forces costly borrowings.

Target four months expense buffer soon.

Your expense means Rs 1.6 lakh reserve.

Use liquid or ultra?short debt funds for reserve.

Fund reserve by channeling yearly bonus, gifts, tax refunds.

Pause new risky investments until buffer ready.

Keep reserve only for true emergencies.

Refill reserve quickly after use.

Debt Reduction Roadmap

Personal loans carry high rates, often 13%–20%.

Reducing them gives guaranteed risk?free return.

Step one: speak with banks on rate reduction.

Check if balance transfer offers lower rates.

Consolidate both loans into one secured loan if possible.

Use salary overdraft or top?up mortgage if existing property.

Negotiate longer tenure to cut EMI pressure initially.

Target paying extra principal once cash flow eases.

Any cashback, bonus, side income should attack principal.

Do not stop EMIs under any condition.

Automate EMI payments to avoid penalties.

Avoid additional consumer loans until debts clear.

Mutual Fund Portfolio Review

Rs 9 lakh can support debt strategy.

First, confirm fund type and exit load terms.

Check if gains exist above Rs 1.25 lakh limit yearly.

Equity fund LTCG above this attracts 12.5% tax.

Short?term equity gains taxed flat 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed by your slab.

Redemption may still save money if loan rate high.

Consider partial redemption keeping emergency fund intact.

Keep at least Rs 1.6 lakh reserve after redemption.

Shift remaining MF to goal?based SIPs later.

Avoid abrupt full exit; plan phased redemption.

Income Enhancement Ideas

Explore upskilling for salary hike.

Short courses in data, cloud, or AI pay quickly.

Check freelancing platforms for weekend gigs.

Turn hobbies into small income streams online.

Negotiate yearly appraisal with documented achievements.

Seek relocation allowance or hardship allowance if applicable.

Check employee tax?free benefits like meal cards.

Use company stock purchase plans wisely.

Side income can go straight toward loan prepayment.

Expense Management Tactics

Audit subscriptions: music, OTT, gym, apps.

Cancel unused ones now.

Cook meals weekdays; limit restaurants to birthdays.

Share rides or use metro for daily travel.

Shop groceries online under discount codes.

Buy generic medicines when doctor allows.

Plan yearly festivals with set budget envelopes.

Gift handmade items, saving cash and adding warmth.

Delay phone upgrades until loans finish.

Review electricity plan; choose lower slab tariff.

Tax Efficiency Plan

Max out EPF and VPF contributions if employer allows.

Use Section 80C with term insurance premium, EPF, PPF.

Avoid locking money in high?cost insurance?investment mixes.

Use Section 80D for health insurance premium deduction.

Claim house rent allowance by collecting rent receipts.

Submit tax proofs timely to payroll team.

Adjust VPF rate depending on liquidity needs.

Maintain digital file of all tax papers.

Any tax refund should reduce loan principal immediately.

Stay aware of future tax rule changes yearly.

Behavioural Guardrails

Build monthly habit of paying yourself first.

Automate transfer to reserve on salary day.

Avoid comparing lifestyle with peers on social media.

Celebrate small wins, like first extra Rs 50,000 principal paid.

Use visual tracker on fridge for loan balance.

Practice gratitude to keep spending urges low.

Revisit goals sheet each quarter with partner.

Keep meeting with Certified Financial Planner yearly.

Family Goal Alignment

Discuss goals openly with spouse or parents.

Explain debt burden and needed sacrifices.

Assign responsibilities: spouse tracks groceries; you track utilities.

Set family No?Spend weekend challenge each month.

Involve children in saving games if applicable.

Celebrate debt milestones with simple home treats.

Family unity speeds journey and lowers stress.

Monitoring and Review Schedule

End of each month: compare budget versus actual.

End of each quarter: calculate outstanding loan balances.

Mid?year: review insurance adequacy.

Year?end: plan tax saving for next year early.

Annual meeting with Certified Financial Planner.

Adjust plan for salary raises or life events.

Update emergency fund target for inflation yearly.

Keep all financial documents scanned and cloud?stored.

Career Continuity Planning

Life uncertainty can harm loan servicing badly.

Build professional network actively on LinkedIn.

Attend industry events or webinars each quarter.

Keep updated resume ready always.

Learn new tools relevant to your field yearly.

Consider alternate career path if automation threatens role.

Secure corporate medical cover for family even when job switches.

Seek roles offering pay plus variable bonus.

Variable bonus can accelerate debt payoff.

Credit Score Maintenance

Timely EMI boosts credit score each month.

Keep credit card utilisation under 30% limit.

Pay credit card bill in full before due date.

Check credit report twice a year for errors.

Dispute any wrong entry immediately online.

Good score reduces future loan interest burden.

Long Term Investment Re?Start

Once loans fall below Rs 20 lakh, restart SIP.

Begin with Rs 5,000 monthly into diversified equity funds.

Increase SIP 10% yearly with raises.

Avoid sector funds or thematic fads.

Choose regular plans through MFD with CFP qualification.

MFD service fee covers hand?holding and paperwork.

Regular plan cost is small versus guidance benefits.

Direct funds lack timely alerts and emotional support.

MFD can assist with tax?optimal redemption scheduling.

Keep SIP aligned with specific future goals.

Goal Setting Framework

Short term goal: build Rs 1.6 lakh reserve in six months.

Medium term goal: clear smaller loan in three years.

Long term goal: clear second loan in five years.

Post debt goal: build retirement corpus steadily.

Write goals on paper and review monthly.

Attach target date and reason beside each goal.

Strong reasons push consistent actions.

Psychological Well?being

Debt can cause anxiety and sleep issues.

Practise daily 10?minute meditation morning and night.

Exercise thrice a week for endorphin boost.

Talk with spouse or friend when stress peaks.

Avoid splitting personal relationships due to money strain.

Seek professional counsellor if anxiety persists.

Child Education Preparation

If you have kids, open Sukanya or PPF early.

Small monthly deposits suffice now.

Larger funding resumes after loans settle.

Keep separate account name for each child.

Do not dip into child fund for adult expenses.

Possible Windfall Handling

You may receive arrears, incentives, or inheritance.

Allocate 50% of windfall to loan prepayment.

Allocate 30% to emergency fund top?up.

Allocate 20% for small family celebration.

This keeps morale high without harming plan.

Digital Safety Steps

Use strong passwords and two?factor login for bank apps.

Never share OTPs on calls.

Update phone security patches regularly.

Phishing loss now hurts loan plan severely.

Checklist for Immediate Action

Prepare complete household budget this weekend.

Organise insurance papers and nominee details.

Contact loan officers Monday seeking rate reduction.

Evaluate partial MF redemption for debt cut.

Start separate emergency fund account now.

Schedule Certified Financial Planner meeting within two weeks.

Set calendar reminders for review dates yearly.

Finally

You already took brave step by seeking help.

High debt looks heavy but not unstoppable.

Discipline, planning, and family support can win.

Build protection and reserve before tackling principal.

Prepay loans with every extra rupee earned.

Revive investments after debt burden eases.

Stay focus on goals, review, and adapt.

Your future self will enjoy debt?free mornings soon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Money
I have mutual fund holdings of approx 80 lacs,stock holdings of 13.5 lacs,pf of 1.5 lacs,fd worth 29 lacs with monthly interest and monthly income from all sources is approx 1.1 lacs as I am also in mutual fund distribution along with my job as I started this last year. I have no liabilities now and have a joint 2 bhk flat in Andheri east worth 1.3 crores and 1 bhk in badlapur worth 25 lakhs which is on rent. I have a 1 crore term plan with 12 year fix term payment with 6 payments gone and company mediclaim of 15 lacs and personal mediclaim of 3 lacs. I needed a 2nd flat closeby in Andheri but I am afraid to take a loan but still I need suggestions for how much loan can I take.my cibil score is above 750.also,please suggest on my financial assesment.
Ans: You have managed your assets thoughtfully so far. Your growing income sources and debt-free status give you a strong base. Let’s now do a 360-degree financial assessment and also evaluate your loan eligibility for the second flat.

Your Asset Composition – A Quick Snapshot
Mutual fund investments – Rs. 80 lakhs

Direct equity stocks – Rs. 13.5 lakhs

Provident fund – Rs. 1.5 lakhs

Fixed deposits – Rs. 29 lakhs (monthly interest income)

Rental income – from Badlapur property

Job and mutual fund distribution income – around Rs. 1.1 lakhs per month

2BHK in Andheri East – worth Rs. 1.3 crores (joint ownership)

1BHK in Badlapur – worth Rs. 25 lakhs (on rent)

You have no ongoing loans or EMIs. That puts you in a secure place to plan forward.

Income and Cash Flow Stability
Monthly income from job + distribution – Rs. 1.1 lakhs

Rental income – additional, though unspecified, adds to cushion

FD interest – offers another passive flow

You are maintaining three sources of income. That reduces risk. You are not dependent on only one source.

Monthly inflows appear to cover your lifestyle. That is a good sign. However, no mention of current monthly expenses. It would help to track and limit discretionary spends.

Mutual Fund Investment Position
You hold Rs. 80 lakhs in mutual funds. That’s a significant allocation.

But you haven't specified the fund types — equity, hybrid, or debt. Also, no clarity on regular or direct option.

If your investments are in direct funds, consider switching to regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD).

Why? Because regular plans offer personal guidance, timely portfolio reviews, and strategic rebalancing.

Direct plans may appear cheaper. But without expert help, costly mistakes can happen. Wrong fund choices or wrong exit timing can eat away gains.

If your investments are in index funds, be cautious. Index funds copy the market. They don’t beat the market.

They offer no downside protection during market falls. Actively managed funds aim to give better returns than index.

Index funds don’t adapt to market changes. Good fund managers in active funds do that.

A regular portfolio review by a Certified Financial Planner will help. You should optimise risk and returns.

Stock Market Investments
You have Rs. 13.5 lakhs in direct equities. That is about 12% of your total financial assets.

This is fine if your risk appetite is high. But do monitor sector concentration and liquidity of stocks.

Direct equity needs time and discipline. Avoid overlapping stocks already held through mutual funds.

Also, have a clear exit plan. Don’t wait for all-time highs to sell. Book profits periodically.

Fixed Deposits – Income Use and Taxation
Rs. 29 lakhs in FDs gives you monthly income. This is useful for regular cash flow.

But remember:

FD interest is fully taxable

Returns may not beat inflation

Long-term wealth growth is limited

Keep only what you need for liquidity. Shift the rest to mutual funds through STP or lump sum.

This way, you earn better post-tax returns and reduce reinvestment risk.

Insurance and Protection Cover
Term Insurance – Rs. 1 crore cover with 12-year payment term. 6 premiums already paid. That’s a responsible move.

If your dependents are financially independent or assets cover their needs, this cover is enough.

Else, you may increase cover till retirement age using pure term insurance. Avoid return-of-premium type.

Health Insurance –

Company cover – Rs. 15 lakhs

Personal mediclaim – Rs. 3 lakhs

This is sufficient for now. But ensure personal health cover is kept active even if job changes.

Avoid relying only on employer mediclaim. Companies can change policies anytime.

Real Estate Holdings
Joint 2BHK in Andheri East – Worth Rs. 1.3 crores

1BHK in Badlapur – Worth Rs. 25 lakhs and on rent

You have already entered real estate. You are also getting passive rent.

But from an investment viewpoint, adding more property may reduce liquidity. Real estate is not a liquid asset. Selling quickly in emergencies is tough.

Also, real estate has low post-tax rental yield (2–3%). Maintenance and property taxes further reduce net returns.

Hence, avoid over-allocation here. Prioritise financial investments instead.

Should You Buy a Second Flat in Andheri?
You mentioned the desire for a second flat nearby. But fear taking a loan. That’s a valid concern.

Let’s assess how much home loan you can get.

Your CIBIL score is above 750 – this is very good

Your income is approx Rs. 1.1 lakhs per month

You have no existing EMI burden

As per banks, 50%–60% of monthly income can go toward EMI. That means:

You are eligible for a home loan with EMI up to Rs. 55,000–65,000

At 8.5% interest and 15–20 year term, loan amount can be between Rs. 50–60 lakhs

But eligibility is not the same as affordability. You must ask:

Can you comfortably pay EMI for 15 years without compromising other goals?

Will this flat give any rent or tax benefit?

Will your job and distribution income stay consistent?

If your answer is no or doubtful, avoid the loan. Liquidity and freedom are more important than property.

If You Still Want the Flat – Consider These Options
Opt for a smaller flat or cheaper location to reduce loan size

Use part of your FD and mutual fund to pay higher down payment

Take a joint loan with co-owner if eligible – increases loan eligibility

Don’t sell your MF corpus entirely – keep your compounding alive

Also, calculate how much EMI you can pay comfortably. Not maximum. Choose safety, not stress.

Your Tax Planning Approach
Interest from FD is taxable at slab rate. It increases your tax burden.

Rental income also adds to your taxable income.

You may already be crossing Rs. 10 lakh annual income. So you must consider HUF, Section 80C, 80D, and NPS wisely.

Mutual fund redemptions will now follow new rules:

Equity mutual funds – LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakhs taxed at 12.5%

STCG taxed at 20%

Debt funds – taxed as per income slab (STCG and LTCG same)

Hence, keep your investment period and tax impact in mind before redeeming.

Suggestions for Next Financial Moves
Here is a 360-degree action plan for you:

1. Create a financial goals map

Retirement corpus target

Child education or wedding

Travel or lifestyle upgrades

Emergency buffer

2. Keep an emergency fund

At least 6 months of expenses in liquid funds or sweep FDs

Don’t use this for investing or real estate

3. Review your mutual fund portfolio

Check if funds are performing well vs category

Remove underperformers

Align risk profile and asset allocation

4. Consider shifting excess FD

Gradually move surplus FD to hybrid or equity mutual funds

Use STP to reduce timing risk

5. Consolidate equity holdings

Exit weak or non-core stocks

Keep direct equity under 10% of total assets

6. Protect your family better

Review term cover after 3 years or major life changes

Ensure personal mediclaim is renewed on time

7. Avoid multiple property purchases

It reduces liquidity

It increases maintenance and tax burdens

Keep one primary house and one income property at most

8. Build retirement corpus actively

Use mutual funds with SIPs or lump sum

Use compounding for next 10–15 years

Don’t delay for market timing

9. Track your personal balance sheet yearly

Note all asset values, income, and liabilities

Track net worth growth annually

Helps in better decisions and peace of mind

Finally
You are already on a solid path. Your assets are strong. Income is diversified. You are debt-free and disciplined.

You are building both active and passive income sources. That shows vision and maturity.

Buying a second flat may feel emotionally satisfying. But financially, it reduces flexibility. Stay cautious.

Keep growing your mutual fund investments. Reduce overexposure to real estate. Balance liquidity, returns, and tax.

With this mix, your long-term wealth will grow with less stress.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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You didn’t.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
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I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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