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Jinal

Jinal Mehta  |95 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on May 20, 2024

Jinal Mehta is a qualified certified financial professional certified by FPSB India. She has 10 years of experience in the field of personal finance.
She is the founder of Beyond Learning Finance, an authorised education provider for the CFP certification programme in India.
In addition, she manages a family office organisation, where she handles investment planning, tax planning, insurance planning and estate planning.
Jinal has a bachelor's degree in management studies. She also has a diploma in in financial management from NMIMS, Mumbai.
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Dipti Question by Dipti on May 17, 2024Hindi
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Dear Sir, I am running my own recruitment firm where I am the only person working and sometimes my wife help me in the process. I earn monthly around 1 Lac. I want to expand my business I am planning to take personal loan of rupees 10 Lac and invest the same in business for future growth (where I can have aorund 3 member helping me in the process) but my concern is I do have some EMI to pay which comes around 45k per month. Also my business is bit voaltile sometime I get nothing in month and sometimes I earn around 2.5 Lac. So my question is can I take personal loan and pay off my other EMI aorund 4 lacs so that only 2 EMI's will be left one is Home Loan 19k and other of personal loan around 20k. Kindly advice please keep my name anynomous

Ans: Without proper evaluation,I cannot suggest much. But you may opt for loan consolidation option with banks.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
Money
Short term financial advise needed.. I have a under construction home loan of 1.2 cr with an emi of 71k but in coming 6 months it will go to 1 lakh .... I have 5 lakhs liquid cash with me right now... I have a personal loan of 20 lakhs with 1 yr completion and outstanding principal as 17 lakhs...emi years 4 years remained.. Monthly emi 42k deduced for personal loan.. I have gold loan of 6 lacs yearly am paying interest as 54k .. Next year around mid June I need 10 lacs for home loan registration amount.. My question is , Should I use 5 lacs to do part payment of personal loan or clear gold loan with interest of 6.5 lacs ? Gold loan I am current don't have 1.5 lacs with me to clear completely.. Personal loan part payment I have 25 percent 4.2 lacs ... Should I reduce the burden of monthly emi of 42k personal loan to 32k decreasing 10k per month.. My worry is that next year I need 10 lacs .. I have option to withdraw some amount from my stocks portifolia for 10 lacs if needed in worst case . But I don't want to disturb stocks untill stocks has huge profit then only I plan to withdraw it .. Please suggest me should I keep 5 lacs in some liquid debt fund or use that to clear personal loan or use that to reduce gold loan ? Am confused ?
Ans: Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Let's break down your current financial scenario.

You have three main liabilities:

Under Construction Home Loan: Rs 1.2 crore with an EMI of Rs 71,000, which will increase to Rs 1 lakh in six months.

Personal Loan: Rs 20 lakhs outstanding, with a current balance of Rs 17 lakhs. EMI of Rs 42,000 for the next four years.

Gold Loan: Rs 6 lakhs, with an annual interest of Rs 54,000.

You have Rs 5 lakhs in liquid cash and will need Rs 10 lakhs for home loan registration next year.

Your main goal is to manage your liabilities effectively without disturbing your stock portfolio.

Evaluating Your Options
You have two primary options for using your Rs 5 lakhs:

Partial Payment of Personal Loan
Clearing Gold Loan
Let's evaluate both options.

Partial Payment of Personal Loan
Using Rs 5 lakhs to partially pay off your personal loan will reduce the outstanding principal. This can reduce your monthly EMI, easing your cash flow. Here are some benefits:

Reduced Monthly EMI: Lowering your EMI from Rs 42,000 to approximately Rs 32,000.
Lower Interest Burden: Reducing the overall interest you pay on the personal loan.
Improved Cash Flow: Freeing up Rs 10,000 monthly can help you manage other expenses better.
However, consider these points:

Less Immediate Impact on Total Debt: While your monthly EMI reduces, your overall debt doesn't significantly change.
Long-Term Commitment: You still need to service the personal loan for the remaining tenure.
Clearing Gold Loan
Clearing your gold loan requires Rs 6.5 lakhs, including interest. With Rs 5 lakhs, you can't fully clear it, but you can make a significant dent. Here are some benefits:

High-Interest Savings: Gold loans typically have high-interest rates. Clearing it saves substantial interest costs.
Freeing Up Collateral: Clearing the loan releases your gold, which can be used for future financial needs.
However, consider these points:

Insufficient Funds: You don't have enough to clear the gold loan fully right now.
Remaining Debt: Partially paying off the gold loan won't reduce your monthly interest significantly.
Liquid Debt Funds
Investing Rs 5 lakhs in a liquid debt fund is another option. Here are some benefits:

Liquidity: Easy access to funds when needed.
Potential Returns: Better returns than a savings account, though lower than equity.
Safety: Lower risk compared to equity investments.
However, consider

these points:

Short-Term Focus: Liquid debt funds are suitable for short-term needs, but they may not significantly reduce your debt burden.
Interest Accumulation: While you earn interest on your investment, your debt continues to accrue interest, potentially offsetting gains.
Analyzing Stock Portfolio
You mentioned your reluctance to disturb your stock portfolio unless there are substantial profits. This is a wise approach as stocks generally offer better long-term growth. However, it is essential to have a plan in case you need to liquidate for the Rs 10 lakhs home loan registration.

Here are some considerations:

Market Conditions: Monitor market trends and your portfolio's performance. Plan to sell when the market is favorable.
Partial Withdrawal: If needed, consider a partial withdrawal rather than liquidating the entire portfolio.
Tax Implications: Be aware of capital gains taxes when selling stocks.
Strategic Recommendations
Now, let's develop a strategy that considers all factors:

Partial Payment of Personal Loan: Use Rs 5 lakhs to make a partial payment on your personal loan. This will reduce your EMI, improving your monthly cash flow by Rs 10,000. This strategy gives immediate relief and helps manage other expenses.

Future Financial Planning:

Build an Emergency Fund: Aim to build an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of your expenses. This provides a safety net for unexpected costs.
Home Loan Registration Fund: Since you need Rs 10 lakhs for registration, start saving specifically for this purpose. Consider using any surplus from your reduced EMI towards this goal.
Gold Loan Strategy:

Gradual Clearance: Plan to gradually clear the gold loan using monthly savings from your reduced EMI and any other additional income.
Interest Negotiation: Check if you can negotiate better terms or convert to a lower interest loan.
Investment in Liquid Debt Fund:

Surplus Savings: Once you've allocated funds for immediate needs and debt reduction, consider parking any surplus in a liquid debt fund. This ensures liquidity while earning reasonable returns.
Short-Term Goal Alignment: Use liquid funds for short-term goals like the home loan registration amount.
Stock Portfolio Management:

Regular Review: Keep an eye on your stock portfolio and market conditions. Plan your withdrawals strategically to minimize losses and tax implications.
Balanced Approach: Maintain a balance between equity and debt investments. This diversifies risk and ensures stability.
Implementing the Strategy
To implement this strategy effectively:

Budgeting: Create a detailed budget considering your reduced EMI and other monthly expenses. Ensure you allocate funds towards debt repayment and savings.

Debt Repayment Plan: Set up a systematic debt repayment plan. Focus on high-interest loans first, like your gold loan.

Savings and Investments: Regularly review your savings and investments. Adjust based on changing financial goals and market conditions.

Financial Discipline: Maintain financial discipline by avoiding unnecessary expenses. Focus on essential expenses and savings.

Addressing Future Financial Needs
Your immediate priority is managing your current liabilities and saving for the home loan registration. However, planning for future financial needs is also essential. Here are some tips:

Long-Term Goals: Identify and prioritize long-term financial goals like retirement, children's education, and other significant life events.

Regular Investments: Continue regular investments in diversified portfolios, balancing between equity and debt. This ensures steady growth and risk management.

Insurance: Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage for health, life, and critical illness. This protects your financial stability in emergencies.

Final Insights
Your current financial situation requires a strategic and balanced approach. By using Rs 5 lakhs to partially pay off your personal loan, you immediately reduce your monthly EMI, improving cash flow. This step allows you to manage your expenses better and focus on future savings.

At the same time, gradually clearing your gold loan with the savings from reduced EMIs and additional income is a prudent move. Investing in liquid debt funds for short-term goals ensures liquidity and reasonable returns.

Monitor your stock portfolio and plan withdrawals strategically to meet the Rs 10 lakhs home loan registration requirement. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to align with changing goals and market conditions.

Maintain financial discipline and focus on building an emergency fund and savings for future needs. With careful planning and disciplined execution, you can manage your liabilities effectively while preparing for future financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
Money
I am a Railway employee, my monthly salary is approx 38000. I have a personal loan of monthly emi 17000 and it's outstanding amount 490000 about remaining 40 months. I have also invest 9000(5000 RD + 4000 MF) for my marriage in first of 2026 . My total expenditure ={ 23000 ( including loan emi) and invest 9000 for marriage and 7000 for try to prepayment to loan }= 39000 My next plan build my house take a home loan about 15 lakh and try to prepayment my personal loan with extra emi 7000 but it takes 20 months, I want to take home loan in next year 2025 about 8 month later, so I try to close my personal loan as early as possible in each month with extra emi. But can't get the result at proper time. what should I do ? And Ami I going in right path? Pls suggest me
Ans: First, let me appreciate your dedication and forward-thinking. Managing finances can be tough, especially with loans and future plans. Your situation needs a balanced approach. Let’s dive into it.

Understanding Your Financial Landscape
You have a salary of Rs 38,000 per month. You have a personal loan EMI of Rs 17,000 with an outstanding amount of Rs 4,90,000, to be paid off in 40 months. You are investing Rs 9,000 per month for your marriage in 2026, with Rs 5,000 in a Recurring Deposit (RD) and Rs 4,000 in mutual funds. Your total monthly expenditure is Rs 39,000, including loan EMI, investment for marriage, and an additional Rs 7,000 towards prepayment of the loan. You plan to take a home loan of Rs 15 lakh in 2025. Let’s analyse and strategize your financial journey.

Loan Repayment Strategy
Assessing Current Loan Situation
Your personal loan EMI is quite high, consuming a significant portion of your income. You are prepaying Rs 7,000 monthly to close this loan early, but it is stretching your finances thin.

Benefits of Prepayment
Prepaying your loan reduces the principal amount, thereby reducing the interest burden. However, it also reduces your monthly cash flow, limiting your ability to save and invest for other goals.

Balancing Prepayment and Savings
Instead of aggressively prepaying the loan, consider a balanced approach. Allocate a portion of your extra EMI towards an emergency fund and investments. This will ensure you have a cushion for unexpected expenses and continue growing your wealth.

Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a good choice for long-term goals. They offer diversification, professional management, and compounding benefits.

Categories of Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds

Invest in stocks.
Suitable for long-term wealth creation.
Higher returns, higher risks.
Debt Mutual Funds

Invest in fixed-income securities.
Stable returns, lower risk.
Good for maintaining liquidity.
Hybrid Mutual Funds

Mix of equities and debt.
Balanced risk and returns.
Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management
Fund managers make investment decisions for you, beneficial if you lack time or expertise.

Diversification
Spreading investments across various assets reduces risk.

Liquidity
Easy to redeem units, providing good liquidity.

Power of Compounding
Investing long-term lets your returns compound, significantly growing your wealth.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds replicate a market index, offering average market returns. They can't respond to market changes, potentially underperforming during downturns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market by making strategic choices. Fund managers actively buy and sell securities to leverage market opportunities, offering higher returns.

Direct Funds vs. Regular Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require handling all investment decisions and paperwork, which can be complex and time-consuming without professional guidance.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides expert advice tailored to your goals. A CFP can help you choose the right funds, monitor your portfolio, and make adjustments as needed, optimizing returns and managing risks.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures quick access to cash for unexpected expenses, providing financial security.

Home Loan Strategy
Assessing Home Loan Readiness
Planning to take a home loan of Rs 15 lakh in 2025 requires careful consideration. Ensure you have a stable income, low debt-to-income ratio, and good credit score.

Prepayment Strategy
Instead of fully prepaying your personal loan, balance between prepayment and savings. Allocate some funds towards an emergency fund and investments. This will help you manage your finances better when you take the home loan.

Home Loan EMI
Plan your home loan EMI to be affordable within your monthly budget. Ensure it doesn’t strain your finances or hinder other financial goals.

Risk Management
Understanding and managing risk is crucial.

Loan Risks
High EMIs can strain your monthly budget, limiting savings and investments. Ensure loan repayments are manageable and don’t hinder financial stability.

Investment Risks
Mutual funds come with market risks. Diversify your portfolio to manage risk effectively. Balance between equity, debt, and hybrid funds based on your risk appetite and financial goals.

Professional Guidance
Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides personalized investment strategies. A CFP can help navigate financial markets and make informed decisions.

Final Insights
Your financial journey requires careful planning and strategic investments. Balance loan prepayment with savings and investments. Strengthen your mutual fund portfolio with a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Consider actively managed funds for higher potential returns. Invest through a CFP for expert guidance and optimized returns.

Maintain an emergency fund for financial security. Plan your home loan EMI within your budget to avoid financial strain. Regularly review and adjust your financial plans to stay on track with your goals.

By managing your loans, investments, and risks effectively, you can achieve your financial goals and build a secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Money
I am a Railway employee, my monthly salary is approx 38000. I have a personal loan of monthly emi 17000 and it's outstanding amount 490000 about remaining 40 months. I have also invest 9000(5000 RD + 4000 MF) for my marriage in first of 2026 . My total expenditure ={ 23000 ( including loan emi) and invest 9000 for marriage and 7000 for try to prepayment to loan }= 39000 My next plan build my house take a home loan about 15 lakh and try to prepayment my personal loan with extra emi 7000 but it takes 20 months, I want to take home loan in next year 2025 about 8 month later, so I try to close my personal loan as early as possible in each month with extra emi. But can't get the result at proper time. what should I do ? And Ami I going in right path? Pls suggest me
Ans: I see you're working hard to manage your finances and future goals. Let's look at how you can achieve your plans effectively.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
First, let's break down your current financial position:

Monthly Salary: Rs. 38,000
Personal Loan EMI: Rs. 17,000
Personal Loan Outstanding: Rs. 4,90,000 (40 months remaining)
Monthly Investments: Rs. 9,000 (RD and MF)
Total Monthly Expenditure: Rs. 23,000 (including loan EMI)
Additional EMI for Loan Prepayment: Rs. 7,000
You have a clear goal: to close your personal loan as early as possible and take a home loan next year.

Loan Repayment Strategy
Focus on Personal Loan Prepayment
You're already paying Rs. 7,000 extra towards your personal loan each month. This is a good step. By prepaying, you're reducing the interest burden. However, it may not close the loan as quickly as you hope.

Increase Prepayment Amount
If possible, try to increase the prepayment amount. Even a small increase can significantly reduce the loan tenure. Check if you can cut some discretionary expenses temporarily to allocate more towards prepayment.

Lump Sum Payments
Whenever you receive any extra income, such as bonuses or gifts, use it for lump sum payments towards your personal loan. This will further reduce your outstanding amount.

Investment Strategy
Balancing Loan Repayment and Investments
You’re investing Rs. 9,000 monthly (Rs. 5,000 in RD and Rs. 4,000 in MF) for your marriage in 2026. This is important, but your immediate priority is clearing the personal loan.

Temporarily Redirect Investments
Consider temporarily redirecting some of your investments towards loan prepayment. For instance, reduce RD and MF contributions slightly and use this amount for prepayment. Once the loan is cleared, you can increase your investments again.

Continue Some Investments
It’s essential to continue some investments for your marriage goal. Don’t stop investing completely, as this goal is also crucial.

Planning for the Home Loan
Timing of Home Loan
You plan to take a home loan in 2025. Clearing your personal loan before that is wise. This will improve your credit score and reduce financial stress.

Home Loan Amount
Plan your home loan amount carefully. Ensure the EMI is manageable within your monthly budget. Avoid over-borrowing to keep financial stress low.

Save for Down Payment
Start saving for the down payment of your home loan. Typically, lenders require a down payment of 20% of the home’s value. This will reduce your loan amount and EMI.

Building an Emergency Fund
Importance of Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is crucial to handle unexpected expenses without disrupting your financial plans. Aim to save at least 3-6 months’ worth of expenses.

Gradual Savings
Start small. Save a portion of your salary each month towards the emergency fund. You can increase this amount once your personal loan is cleared.

Ensuring Financial Stability
Budgeting and Expense Management
Create a detailed budget to track your income and expenses. Identify areas where you can cut costs. This will free up more money for loan repayment and savings.

Avoid New Debt
Avoid taking any new loans or credit until your personal loan is cleared and you have a stable financial situation. This will help you stay on track with your goals.

Regular Financial Reviews
Monitor Progress
Regularly review your financial situation. Check your loan balance, investment growth, and budget adherence. This will help you stay focused and make necessary adjustments.

Seek Professional Guidance
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice. They can provide insights tailored to your situation and help you achieve your goals efficiently.

Evaluating Investment Options
Avoid Index Funds
Index funds might seem attractive but they have limitations. They may not beat inflation or provide superior returns consistently. Actively managed funds, with professional management, can offer better returns and adapt to market changes.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Direct funds require active management and market knowledge. Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials offers professional guidance and better fund selection. This can lead to better performance and peace of mind.

Final Insights
You’re on the right path with a clear focus on your financial goals. Prioritizing loan repayment is wise, but balancing investments for your future goals is also essential.

Increase your prepayment amount if possible and consider redirecting some investments temporarily. Regularly review your financial situation and seek professional advice if needed. You’re doing great, and with some adjustments, you’ll achieve your goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

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Money
Income - 30k Monthly rent -14k Emi is 32k with help of my family I am paying. I want to close all emi and pay small amount. Will it be a good option if I take a 1lakh loan for 35% and reduce the monthly emi burden I have gold loan 1.9l Outside loan 65k O/s rent 28000 App loans total o/s 60k I failed to repay few app loans for the past months, cibil got affected and too many loans. No bank is ready to offer any loan. One offer I have is 1l in Bajaj at 35% interest. What should I do and which way works best? Please help me
Ans: I understand your situation is challenging, and you need to find a way to manage your debts effectively. Here are a few steps to help you navigate this financial difficulty:

Assess Your Financial Situation
Income and Expenses:
Monthly Income: Rs. 30,000
Rent: Rs. 14,000
EMI: Rs. 32,000 (with family support)
Gold Loan: Rs. 1.9 lakh
Other Loans: Rs. 65,000
Outstanding Rent: Rs. 28,000
App Loans: Rs. 60,000
Immediate Steps to Take
Avoid High-Interest Loans:

Taking a Rs. 1 lakh loan at 35% interest from Bajaj is very costly and will worsen your financial burden.
Negotiate with Lenders:

Reach out to your existing lenders, explain your situation, and request a restructuring of your loans. They may offer lower EMIs, extended tenure, or a temporary moratorium.
Family Support:

Continue to seek help from family if possible. Consider discussing a temporary increase in their support to ease your immediate burden.
Sell Assets:

If you have any assets that can be sold without significant loss, consider doing so to repay high-interest loans first.
Medium-Term Strategies
Debt Consolidation:

Look for a debt consolidation plan with a lower interest rate. This might be hard given your current credit score, but some non-bank financial companies (NBFCs) offer such services.
Increase Income:

Look for additional income sources, such as part-time work, freelance jobs, or selling unused items.
Financial Counseling:

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a credit counseling agency. They can provide personalized advice and may help negotiate with creditors.
Long-Term Planning
Credit Score Repair:

Once your immediate financial crisis is managed, work on improving your credit score by paying all your dues on time and reducing outstanding debts.
Budgeting:

Create a strict budget to control expenses and prioritize debt repayment.
Final Insights
Taking a high-interest loan to manage current debt can lead to a debt trap. Focus on negotiating with current lenders, seeking family support, and avoiding any additional high-cost loans. Consider selling assets if possible and look for ways to increase your income. Consult a financial counselor for personalized assistance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |78 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Health
Dr. Shyam, I had my teeth cleaned 6 months ago and after that was done I saw discoloration on certain teeth that wasn't there before. Years ago I had my teeth cleaned and one particular tooth after the cleaning was sensitive to touch. I had a crown put in from two different dental offices. The first one did the crown right, but was trying to charge me $3,500 more than the agreement they made with Medicare. Medicare corrected that. I other dentist did a crown and it didn't go all the way up to my gums and is sensitive to especially cold things. I'm not having very good experiences with dentist by and large. Can't find an honest one or one that can actually do the job right. I feel being on Medicare your a target to bring in money. Not sure what to do next. Supposed to go back and have them redo the crown that didn't go to my gums, but it also was ttd place to didn't clean my teeth right and discolored some of them. Any suggestions on how to trust there is actually an capable and honest dentist out there who can perform properly?
Ans: Identifying a capable and honest dentist is crucial for your oral health and well-being. Here are some tips to help you find one:

1. Ask for referrals: Ask friends, family, or coworkers for recommendations. They can provide valuable insights into a dentist's work quality and bedside manner.

2. Check credentials: Ensure the dentist has the necessary qualifications, certifications, and licenses. You can verify this information with your state's dental board or professional organizations like the American Dental Association (ADA).

3. Check online reviews: Look up the dentist on review platforms. Pay attention to the overall rating and read the comments to understand the strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, do not rely on reviews alone as these can be manipulated, fake reviews can be easily generated.

4. Evaluate their communication style: A good dentist should listen to your concerns, explain procedures clearly, and answer questions patiently. Ensure you feel comfortable asking questions and discussing your treatment.

5. Assess their facility and equipment: A well-organized and modern dental office with up-to-date equipment is a good sign.

6. Check their approach to preventive care: A capable dentist emphasizes preventive care, including regular cleanings, exams, and education on oral hygiene.

7. Be wary of over-treatment: A honest dentist will not recommend unnecessary procedures. Be cautious if you feel pressured into extensive treatments.

8. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or you don't click with the dentist, it's okay to explore other options.

10. Schedule a consultation: Many dentists offer initial consultations or meet-and-greets. Use this opportunity to assess their approach, ask questions, and gauge your comfort level.

By following these steps, you can increase your chances of finding a capable and honest dentist who prioritizes your oral health and well-being.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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