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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Venkatesh Question by Venkatesh on Dec 14, 2023Hindi
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Hello Sir, myself Venkatesh aged 35 working in PSU current monthly takehome salary is Rs.1.20lac investing Rs.1,50,000/- in PPF per annum, havings corpus in fixed deposits around Rs.30lacs, investing in Mutual funds through monthly SIP of Rs.8000/- in three funds from past 3years 1.Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund-Reg(G)- 3K 2. Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund-Reg(G)- 3K 3. Axis Focused 25 Fund-Reg(G)- 2K. Now i want to invest another Rs.15,000/- per month for 18-20years and also advise by what amount i can stepup my existing portfolio for better returns.

Ans: Dear Venkatesh,

Thank you for sharing your financial details and investment strategy. Your disciplined approach towards saving and investing is commendable, and it's great to see your proactive efforts towards planning for the future.

Considering your current financial situation and goals, here's a suggested plan for investing an additional ?15,000 per month and optimizing your existing portfolio:

New Investment of ?15,000 per Month:

Given your investment horizon of 18-20 years, you have the opportunity to invest in equity-oriented mutual funds to potentially achieve long-term growth.
Since you already have exposure to flexi-cap, large-cap, and focused equity funds, you can consider diversifying further by investing in mid-cap or multi-cap funds to capture opportunities across different market segments.
Allocate the additional ?15,000 per month across 2-3 mutual funds to ensure proper diversification and mitigate risk.
Portfolio Step-Up:

Evaluate the performance of your existing SIPs in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund, Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund, and Axis Focused 25 Fund.
Consider increasing your SIP contributions gradually over time to capitalize on the power of compounding and accelerate wealth accumulation.
Utilize the step-up SIP feature offered by mutual fund platforms to automatically increase your SIP amounts by a predefined percentage or fixed amount annually.
Review your portfolio periodically and adjust your SIP contributions as needed to stay aligned with your investment goals and risk tolerance.
Regular Review and Rebalancing:

Periodically review your investment portfolio and asset allocation to ensure that it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Rebalance your portfolio as needed to maintain your desired asset allocation and optimize returns. This involves selling overperforming assets and reinvesting the proceeds into underperforming or undervalued assets.
Consultation:

Consider consulting with a qualified financial advisor who can provide personalized guidance tailored to your financial objectives and risk profile.
An advisor can help you assess your current portfolio, identify any gaps or areas for improvement, and recommend suitable investment options to achieve your long-term financial goals.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investment strategy, you can work towards building a strong financial foundation and achieving your financial aspirations.

Best regards,

Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2024

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Dear Sir. I am 43 years old. i am a salaried person and my investment plan is for 15 years(Retiring a the age of 58). From Jan 2022 I am doing MF SIP of Rs. 12,000 pm(Increasing at rate of 10% per year). My purpose of investment is for retirement. Presently my monthly SIP in MF is as follows: 1) Canara Robeco Blue Chip Fund(Regular Growth) -- Rs 3,000 p.m. with 10% increase every year. 2) Axis Midcap Fund(Regular growth) - Rs 3,000 p.m. - with 10% increase every year. 3) SBI Small cap Fund(Regular Growth - Rs. 3000 p.m.- Without increase. 4) White Oak Flexi Cap Fund - Rs 2800 p.m. - Without increase. Further i am investing 2 to 5 gram (Lumpsum) in Sovereign Gold Bonds(8 years lock-in) as and when bonds listed for IPO. I want to earn Rs 1,00,000 p.m. after retirement. Please review my portfolio and advise for any change/shift to be done before retirement.
Ans: Your investment strategy for retirement looks well-planned and diversified. Regularly reviewing your portfolio is prudent to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Consider increasing exposure to funds with a consistent track record of delivering returns over the long term. Rebalance periodically to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Given your timeline, staying invested in equities is sensible for potential growth. However, keep an eye on market trends and adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Continue to capitalize on opportunities like Sovereign Gold Bonds, but ensure they complement your overall portfolio without overshadowing other investments.

As you approach retirement, gradually shift towards more conservative options to safeguard your capital while aiming to generate the desired monthly income.

Remember, consistency and discipline are key to achieving your retirement goals. Keep monitoring and adjusting your strategy as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Hello Sir, myself Venkatesh aged 35 working in PSU current monthly takehome salary is Rs.1.20lac investing Rs.1,50,000/- in PPF per annum, havings corpus in fixed deposits around Rs.30lacs, investing in Mutual funds through monthly SIP of Rs.8000/- in three funds from past 3years 1.Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund-Reg(G)- 3K 2. Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund-Reg(G)- 3K 3. Axis Focused 25 Fund-Reg(G)- 2K. Now i want to invest another Rs.15,000/- per month for 18-20years and also advise by what amount i can stepup my existing portfolio for better returns.
Ans: Venkatesh! It's great to see your disciplined approach towards saving and investing. With your stable income and existing investments, adding Rs. 15,000 per month for 18-20 years can significantly boost your long-term wealth accumulation.

Considering your current portfolio, you may diversify further by adding funds from different categories to spread risk. Consider allocating the additional investment across different types of mutual funds such as mid-cap funds, small-cap funds, or international funds to enhance diversification.

As for stepping up your existing portfolio, you can consider increasing your SIP amounts gradually over time. Analyze the performance of your current funds and the potential for growth. Based on your risk tolerance and financial goals, you may consider increasing the SIP amounts in funds that have shown consistent performance and align with your investment objectives.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and goals. Together, you can create a comprehensive investment plan to maximize returns and achieve your long-term financial objectives. Keep up the excellent work with your savings and investments!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
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Sir/Madam I'm 35 Years Old Salaried person I'm currently Investing Rs.30,000/- in Mutual Fund from 2017 Portfolio Value Is Rs.21,00,000/- and My Investment is 12,80,000/- Want To Continue For 10 Years.. 10% step-up in every 2 Years 1.SBI SMALL CAP 2.PARAG PAREKH FLEXI CAP 3.NIPPON SMALL CAP 4. DSP MID CAP 5.SBI INTERNATIONAL FUND 6.MOTILAL OSWAL TAX SAVING 7.AXIS NEXT 50 INDEX FUND
Ans: It's commendable that you've been investing systematically in mutual funds since 2017 and have built a substantial portfolio. Your strategy of continuing for another 10 years with a 10% step-up every 2 years reflects a disciplined approach towards wealth creation.
Let's review your current portfolio and make some suggestions:
1. SBI Small Cap, Nippon Small Cap, DSP Mid Cap: Small and mid-cap funds have the potential for high growth but come with higher volatility. Since you're looking at a long-term horizon, these can be suitable for wealth accumulation. However, monitor their performance closely and be prepared for fluctuations.
2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, SBI International Fund, Motilal Oswal Tax Saving: These funds offer diversification across market caps and geographies, which is beneficial for risk management. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, in particular, follows a flexible approach and invests in a mix of equity, debt, and international stocks, providing stability.
3. Axis Next 50 Index Fund: Index funds offer low-cost exposure to a basket of stocks mirroring a particular index. While they provide diversification, they may lack the potential for outperformance compared to actively managed funds. However, they can be a valuable addition to your portfolio for passive investing.
Considering your investment horizon and the step-up strategy, you can continue investing in these funds with periodic reviews. It's essential to rebalance your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your goals and risk tolerance.
Given the significant portfolio value, it's advisable to seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized guidance tailored to your financial objectives, risk appetite, and tax considerations.
Keep up the good work of systematic investing, and with a well-diversified portfolio, you're on track to achieve your long-term financial goals.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Money
Sir, I am earning Rs 40000/- (Rs Forty thousand only) per month And aged 51 years old I can still work till 55 years I have very good knowledge in mutual funds and specially small cap funds My portfolio is as under 1) Quatt small cap fund 2) HSBC SMALL CAP FUND 3) TATA SMALL CAP FUND sip 25000 4) NIPPON SMALL CAP FUND sip 35000 5) AXIS 50 SMALL CAP NIFTY INDEX FUND 6) HDFC 250 SMALL CAP NIFTY INDEX FUND 7) MAHINDRA MANULIFE SMALL CAP FUND All investments are direct schemes I had received money from PPF account which is in lakhs should I invest more in mutual funds ?? Mohan Satpal
Ans: Your portfolio reflects a strong inclination towards small-cap funds, indicating a higher risk appetite and a belief in the growth potential of smaller companies. Let's evaluate your current portfolio and explore whether additional investments in mutual funds are suitable given your financial circumstances.

Portfolio Analysis
Focus on Small-cap Funds: Your portfolio is heavily concentrated in small-cap funds, which are known for their high growth potential but also carry increased volatility and risk. This concentration amplifies the risk-reward dynamics of your portfolio.
Active vs. Passive Management:
While you've included both actively managed mutual funds and index funds (ETFs) in your portfolio, it's important to understand the differences between the two. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market through active stock selection and portfolio management, while index funds passively track a specific index's performance.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:
Actively managed funds offer the potential for higher returns compared to index funds, especially during market inefficiencies or when skilled fund managers can identify lucrative investment opportunities. Additionally, active management allows for flexibility in portfolio construction and adjustments based on market conditions.
Potential Disadvantages of Index Funds:
While index funds offer low expense ratios and broad market exposure, they may lack the potential for outperformance compared to actively managed funds. Additionally, they're subject to tracking error, which occurs when the fund's performance deviates from the index it's designed to replicate.


Direct Scheme Investments: Opting for direct schemes indicates your confidence in making independent investment decisions. However, it also requires active monitoring and research to ensure optimal fund selection and performance.
There are some advantages to consider direct funds, and the cost savings can be significant in the long run. However, there are some potential benefits to using a regular MFD:
Advantages of Investing Through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD):
• Personalized Advice: MFDs can be helpful for beginners or those who lack investment knowledge. They can assess your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon to recommend suitable mutual funds. This personalized guidance can be valuable, especially if you're new to investing.
• Convenience: MFDs handle all the paperwork and transactions on your behalf, saving you time and effort. They can help with account setup, SIP registrations, and managing your portfolio across different funds.
• Investor Support: MFDs can be a point of contact for any questions or concerns you may have about your investments. They can provide ongoing support and guidance throughout your investment journey.


Financial Situation
Monthly Income and Expenses: With a monthly income of Rs 40,000 and nearing retirement age at 55, it's essential to assess your financial stability and readiness for retirement. Consideration of future expenses and income sources is crucial in planning your investment strategy.

Lump Sum from PPF: The lump sum amount received from your PPF account presents an opportunity to bolster your investment portfolio. However, it's essential to evaluate your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals before allocating these funds.

Investment Decision
Given your age, income, and existing investment portfolio, further investments in mutual funds should be approached cautiously. Here are some considerations:

Risk Management: With retirement approaching, it's prudent to reassess your risk appetite and gradually transition to a more conservative investment approach. Consider reallocating a portion of your small-cap holdings to diversified equity or balanced funds to reduce portfolio volatility.

Diversification: While small-cap funds offer growth potential, diversifying across different market segments can help mitigate risk. Consider adding large-cap or multi-cap funds to your portfolio to achieve a balanced allocation.

Professional Advice: Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and retirement timeline. They can help you optimize your investment portfolio and make informed decisions.

Conclusion
As you near retirement age, it's essential to review your investment strategy to align with your financial goals and risk tolerance. While small-cap funds offer growth potential, diversification and risk management are key considerations. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable insights and guidance in navigating your investment journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 31, 2025

Money
Hello Sir. I am 42 year old NRI, working and living in UAE. I am regular investor in MF for past 4 year and already accumulated 27 Lakh in Investment with Current Value of 36.8 Lakh. I wanted to have 20 crore in my retirement corpus and 2 Crore for my Daughter Higher studies. Time line is next 20 year. My current SIP as follow: 1.HDFC Mid Cap Fund - 5000 Per Month 2. Nippon India Multicap Fund - 5000 Per Month 3. SBI Contra Fund - 5000 Per Month 4. Nippon India Small Cap Fund - 5000 Per Month 5. Kotak Multicap Fund - 5000 per Month 6. Samco Active Momentum Fund - 5000 Per Month 7. Mirae Asset Midcap Fund - 5000 Per Month 8. AXIS Silver ETF FOF - 5000 Per Month 9. HDFC Flexi Cap Fund - 10000 per month 10. Tata Gold ETF Fund of Fund - 5000 Per month 11. ICICI Prudential Passive Multi Asset FOF - 5000 Per Month 12. Nippon India MNC Fund - 5000 Per month 13. Aditya Birla Multi Asset Allocation Fund - 10000 Per month 14. HDFC Retirement Fund Equity Saving Fund - 10000 Per Month Total Mutual Fund SIP - 85000 Per Month ULIP Plans: 1. HDFC Life Click 2 Invest - FLEXI Cap & NIFty 500 Multi factor 50 Fund - 10000 Per month for next 5 year - 15 Year Policy - for my daughter Education. 2. Canara HSBC Ulip - Nifty 500 Multi Factor 50 Fund - 15000 per month for next 7 year - 20 Year Policy - for my daughter education. Besides 15000 per month recurring deposit to have lumpsum to investment for major market investment. Please let me know if it is enough to achieve my goal. I am planning to retire at the age of 65. My employer gratitude is currently at 35 lakh.
Ans: You have displayed excellent financial discipline. At age 42, you already have structured investments, clear goals, and consistent savings. Your focused SIP approach and clarity of purpose reflect deep commitment toward long-term wealth creation and family security. This foundation can easily grow into the life goals you have mentioned—Rs 20 crore for retirement and Rs 2 crore for your daughter’s education. With a few refinements, your portfolio can achieve these goals efficiently and with better control over risks.

» Understanding your current financial position

You are an NRI earning and living in the UAE, which gives you a tax advantage on your income. You already have Rs 36.8 lakh in investments and contribute Rs 85,000 per month through SIPs. Besides this, you have ULIPs worth Rs 25,000 per month and a recurring deposit of Rs 15,000 per month. That totals Rs 1,25,000 per month in structured savings. You also have an employer gratuity of Rs 35 lakh.

Your total investment experience of four years shows maturity in handling risk. You have used mutual funds well to accumulate wealth. The growth from Rs 27 lakh invested to Rs 36.8 lakh current value is a healthy outcome. It indicates proper fund selection and market discipline.

However, there are areas where your plan can become more efficient. You can simplify overlapping funds, review the ULIPs, and strengthen the asset allocation balance.

» Goal clarity and time horizon

You have two main goals:

Retirement corpus of Rs 20 crore in the next 20 years.

Education fund of Rs 2 crore for your daughter in the same period.

Both goals are long-term and growth-oriented. This means equity will remain your main wealth builder. The timeline gives you enough compounding years to benefit from equity markets. However, to meet both goals smoothly, your portfolio structure should avoid duplication and maintain clarity between goals.

» Review of existing mutual fund structure

Your current mutual fund portfolio has 14 SIPs across multiple categories—mid cap, small cap, multi cap, contra, flexi cap, multi asset, and thematic. While this shows diversification, it also brings overlap and dilution. You currently invest in too many funds with similar mandates. This can make your portfolio harder to monitor.

Having many funds doesn’t always mean higher diversification. It can reduce focus and cause repetition of the same stocks across schemes. Mid cap and multicap funds already offer diversification. You hold multiple funds in both categories. This duplication can lead to inefficiency.

Your portfolio has strong exposure to active equity funds, which is good. Actively managed funds are better than index funds because they use research-based stock selection. Fund managers actively manage risk and take advantage of sector opportunities. Index funds simply replicate the market and ignore valuation. They also cannot handle market corrections smartly. For long-term wealth creation, active funds remain superior.

However, you should trim the number of schemes and focus on fewer, high-conviction funds that align with each goal. Around six to eight funds are enough for your corpus size and SIP amount.

» Review of gold and multi-asset exposure

You invest in silver and gold ETFs and multi-asset funds. While diversification across asset classes is good, overexposure to precious metals can limit growth. Gold and silver are protection assets. They preserve value but do not grow fast. You have three different funds related to gold and multi-asset exposure. These can be merged or reduced to one or two.

Keeping 10% to 15% in such assets is enough. The rest should continue in equity to build the corpus. Multi-asset funds already include gold exposure, so adding separate gold ETFs duplicates that exposure.

» ULIP review and recommendation

You hold two ULIP plans for your daughter’s education—Rs 10,000 and Rs 15,000 per month. ULIPs combine insurance with investment, but they usually carry higher costs. Fund options are limited, and returns often trail good mutual funds. ULIPs also restrict flexibility in switching or withdrawing.

Since these ULIPs are still early, you may consider surrendering them and redirecting future premiums to mutual funds. You can use the existing balance once the lock-in period ends. By shifting that Rs 25,000 monthly contribution to well-chosen equity mutual funds, you will gain higher compounding potential and full liquidity. For long-term education goals, mutual funds are more efficient than ULIPs.

» Asset allocation and diversification

A proper asset allocation ensures smooth growth and safety. Based on your risk profile and goals, a suggested mix is:

70% in equity mutual funds (large, mid, and flexi-cap).

20% in hybrid and multi-asset funds.

10% in gold or fixed-income instruments for stability.

This blend gives growth from equity and protection from hybrid or debt allocation. Within equity, keep a balance between large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds. Avoid having more than two funds in each category.

» SIP allocation and simplification plan

Currently, you are investing Rs 85,000 across too many schemes. Streamlining will make tracking easier and returns more efficient. You can consolidate the funds to around seven or eight strong performers spread across equity, hybrid, and gold categories. This approach will reduce overlap and simplify rebalancing later.

Do not invest directly without review. Direct mutual funds appear to save cost, but the absence of professional monitoring often leads to mistakes. Investors in direct plans may exit at wrong times or choose funds based on short-term past returns. That affects long-term wealth creation.

Investing through regular plans with a Certified Financial Planner ensures expert monitoring, periodic rebalancing, and emotional discipline during market volatility. The value of such guidance often outweighs the cost difference.

» Expected growth and corpus sufficiency

With your current monthly investments of Rs 1.25 lakh and existing corpus, your goals are within reach if you maintain consistency for the next 20 years. Equity mutual funds, managed actively and reviewed regularly, can deliver sufficient long-term growth to reach Rs 20 crore and Rs 2 crore goals.

However, inflation and currency movement should also be considered since you are an NRI. You may need to increase your SIP by 5% to 10% every year as income grows. This step-up approach will provide a margin of safety.

Avoid pausing or withdrawing SIPs even during market corrections. Those phases often give the best accumulation advantage.

» Emergency fund and liquidity for NRIs

As an NRI, maintaining liquidity in both India and UAE is important. Keep at least six months’ living expenses in an NRE savings account or liquid fund for emergencies. In India, you may also maintain a small emergency reserve in a low-volatility liquid mutual fund. This ensures easy access in case of family needs or sudden travel.

Do not use long-term investments for emergency purposes. That disrupts compounding and goal progress.

» Protection through insurance and family cover

Your investment portfolio is strong, but wealth protection is equally vital. You should have term insurance coverage of at least 15 times your annual income. This ensures your daughter’s education and family lifestyle remain secure in case of unforeseen events.

Buy a separate term plan in India rather than mixing insurance with ULIPs. Health insurance should cover both you and your family in India as well as UAE, depending on residence status. Add a top-up policy to cover major hospitalisation costs.

Avoid endowment or money-back policies. They offer poor returns and reduce flexibility. Term insurance and health cover are pure protection tools.

» Gratuity and retirement integration

Your current employer gratuity of Rs 35 lakh is a good foundation for your retirement fund. You can let it grow as a separate component. When you finally retire, you can integrate that amount with your retirement corpus. Do not use it for consumption before retirement.

At age 65, your corpus should provide inflation-protected income for 25 to 30 years. Systematic withdrawals from mutual funds will give more flexibility and tax efficiency than annuities. Annuities often provide low returns and restrict access to capital. A diversified mutual fund-based withdrawal plan allows better control and legacy planning.

» NRI-specific considerations

As an NRI investor, continue investing through NRE/NRO accounts in mutual funds that accept NRI participation. Keep track of FATCA and KYC compliance regularly. Use online tracking to monitor all folios in one place.

Ensure nomination and estate planning are updated for all investments. NRIs sometimes miss this step, which creates legal complications later. Create a Will in India covering all Indian assets. This helps your family access them without delay.

Also check your repatriation options for maturity proceeds when you eventually move back to India or retire elsewhere. Keep your financial records and folios in joint names where possible.

» Behavioural and psychological readiness

You have already shown great discipline by staying invested for four years and maintaining SIPs across multiple funds. Continue this patience. Avoid chasing short-term performance or frequent fund changes.

Market cycles will test your emotions, but the investor who stays consistent gains the most. Always remember that time in the market matters more than timing the market.

Increase your SIPs slowly with income growth. Even a small annual increment makes a big difference over 20 years. Focus on long-term goals, not short-term fluctuations.

» Final Insights

Your overall financial foundation is strong. You already save a significant part of your income, invest systematically, and have a clear vision for your daughter’s education and your retirement. With small refinements—simplifying mutual funds, reducing duplication, exiting ULIPs after lock-in, and maintaining annual reviews—you can easily reach your Rs 20 crore and Rs 2 crore goals within the next 20 years.

Continue your disciplined SIPs, step them up yearly, and keep your protection and liquidity in place. Avoid complex or unregulated products. Stay with actively managed mutual funds through Certified Financial Planner-guided regular plans.

You are on the right path. Just keep the discipline, patience, and clarity that you already have. Your financial independence and your daughter’s future education goals are well within reach.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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