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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 11, 2024

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
Arun Question by Arun on Dec 02, 2023Hindi
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Hello sir , I am a 32 yr old with 50 k per month salary. How can I get 6 lakhs per month when I am 60 yrs.

Ans: To be able to get Rs 6 Lakhs per month implies 72 Lakhs a year. Assuming a withdrawal rate of 5% from the corpus that you need to build up to get that return, you need a corpus of about 14 Crores.
To build up that kind of a corpus, you need to invest approx. Rs 53K pm from now onwards per month in an instrument like equity which gets you about 12% annualised returns.
Obviously you cannot spare that much right now. So start with whatever you can now and aim to increase the monthly amount regularly, at least once a year as time passes.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir , I am a 32 yr old with 50 k per month salary. How can I get 6 lakhs per month when I am 60 yrs.
Ans: Planning for a 6 Lakhs Monthly Income at 60
Planning for a comfortable retirement is crucial, and your aspiration of achieving a 6 Lakhs monthly income at 60 is commendable. Let's explore strategies to help you achieve this goal.

Understanding Retirement Income Needs
Before devising a plan, it's essential to understand your retirement income requirements:

Inflation: Account for inflation to ensure your future income maintains its purchasing power.

Lifestyle: Consider your desired lifestyle in retirement, including expenses for healthcare, travel, and leisure activities.

Longevity: Plan for a longer life expectancy to ensure sufficient income for potentially extended retirement years.

Assessing Current Financial Situation
Evaluate your current financial standing to determine the gap between your existing resources and retirement income goal:

Income: Assess your current salary, savings, and other income sources to gauge your ability to save for retirement.

Expenses: Track your expenses to identify areas for potential savings and determine your current savings rate.

Retirement Planning Strategies
To achieve your retirement income target, consider the following strategies:

Start Early: Begin saving and investing for retirement as early as possible to benefit from the power of compounding.

Investment Diversification: Allocate your savings across various asset classes, including equities, bonds, and alternative investments, to manage risk and optimize returns.

Regular Review: Periodically review and adjust your retirement plan based on changing life circumstances, market conditions, and investment performance.

Benefits of Active Management
Actively managed funds offer several advantages for long-term investors:

Expertise: Experienced fund managers actively manage the portfolio, aiming to outperform the market and generate superior returns.

Flexibility: Active management allows for adjustments in investment strategies based on market trends and economic conditions, optimizing returns.

Risk Management: Skilled fund managers employ risk management techniques to mitigate downside risk and protect investors' capital.

Drawbacks of Direct Funds
Direct funds have some limitations compared to regular funds investing through a Certified Financial Planner:

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds require investors to make investment decisions independently without professional guidance, potentially leading to suboptimal investment choices.

Limited Expertise: Investors may lack the expertise and resources to analyze and select suitable investment options, increasing the risk of underperformance.

Behavioral Biases: Without professional guidance, investors may succumb to behavioral biases such as overtrading or market timing, negatively impacting investment returns.

Conclusion
Achieving a 6 Lakhs monthly income at 60 requires careful planning, disciplined saving, and strategic investment. By starting early, diversifying investments, and leveraging the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner, you can work towards realizing your retirement income goal.

Remember to regularly review your retirement plan, adjust your savings and investment strategy as needed, and stay committed to your long-term financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 57 years . I have 1 cr corpus. How can I get 1 lakh per month.
Ans: Having a corpus of Rs 1 crore at 57 years is commendable. Your goal of obtaining Rs 1 lakh per month is ambitious. Let's explore how to achieve this sustainably.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Generating Rs 1 lakh per month from Rs 1 crore corpus translates to Rs 12 lakhs annually. This requires careful planning. Balancing growth and income generation while preserving capital is essential.

Understanding Withdrawal Rates
A withdrawal rate of 4-5% per year is generally considered sustainable. With Rs 1 crore, this amounts to Rs 4-5 lakhs annually, significantly less than your target. Achieving Rs 12 lakhs annually requires a higher return or drawing down your principal, which can be risky.

Investment Strategies for Monthly Income
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly from your mutual fund investments. It provides a steady income while keeping the remaining corpus invested for growth.

Balanced Portfolio: Invest in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equities offer growth, while debt provides stability and regular interest income.

Debt Instruments: Consider investments in fixed deposits, bonds, and debt mutual funds. These provide stable returns and can be a reliable source of income.

Dividend-paying Stocks and Funds: Invest in stocks and mutual funds that pay regular dividends. This provides a steady income stream, though dividends can fluctuate based on company performance.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): This government-backed scheme offers regular interest payments and is a safe investment for senior citizens.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs): These are mutual funds designed to provide regular income. They invest in both equity and debt, aiming for stability and moderate returns.

Managing Risks
Diversification is crucial. Spread your investments across different asset classes to reduce risk. Ensure a portion of your corpus is in low-risk investments to protect against market volatility. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio based on performance and changing market conditions.

Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to professional management. Fund managers adjust portfolios based on market conditions and aim for higher returns. This can help achieve your income goals. Although they have higher fees than index funds, the potential for better returns justifies the cost.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide tailored advice and expertise. They can help design an investment strategy aligned with your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation. Investing through a CFP, even with regular funds, offers the advantage of professional guidance, portfolio management, and strategic adjustments. This is more beneficial than the lower cost of direct funds, which lack personalized advice.

Practical Steps to Generate Monthly Income
Determine Monthly Needs: Start by understanding your monthly expenses and essential needs. This will help in planning your withdrawals and investments.

Set Up SWP: Establish a Systematic Withdrawal Plan from your mutual fund investments. This ensures a regular income while allowing the remaining corpus to grow.

Invest in Diversified Assets: Allocate your corpus across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. This balances growth potential and stability.

Include Safe Investments: Invest in low-risk instruments like SCSS, fixed deposits, and bonds. These provide regular income and capital protection.

Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review your investment performance. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal financial needs.

Importance of Regular Review
Regular monitoring of your portfolio is essential. This helps in making timely adjustments to align with your financial goals and market conditions. Consulting with your CFP periodically ensures that your investment strategy remains effective and up-to-date.

Protecting Against Inflation
Inflation reduces purchasing power over time. Ensure your investments can outpace inflation. Equities and equity-oriented funds are good options for long-term growth and inflation protection. A balanced approach helps maintain the real value of your corpus.

Health and Life Insurance
Adequate health and life insurance coverage is crucial. This protects against unforeseen medical expenses and provides financial security for your dependents. Regularly review and update your policies as needed.

Conclusion
Achieving Rs 1 lakh per month from a Rs 1 crore corpus is challenging but possible with a strategic approach. Diversify your investments, use systematic withdrawal plans, and include low-risk instruments. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio with the help of a Certified Financial Planner. This balanced strategy will help you achieve your income goals while preserving your capital.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 22, 2024

Money
My age is 32, my current salary is 58000/month,how I get 1.25 cr at the age of 55?
Ans: It's great that you're thinking ahead and planning for your financial future. Let's work together to achieve your goal of Rs 1.25 crore by the age of 55. At 32, you've got a good amount of time to build a solid investment strategy. I'll walk you through various steps and strategies that can help you reach your target.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Firstly, kudos on taking the initiative to plan your future. Your current salary is Rs 58,000 per month. This is a good base to start building a substantial corpus. The key is disciplined savings and strategic investments.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Your target is to accumulate Rs 1.25 crore in 23 years. This goal is achievable with a consistent and well-thought-out investment plan. We'll focus on maximizing your savings and investing wisely to ensure your money grows efficiently.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Starting with SIPs is a great way to grow your wealth over time. SIPs in mutual funds help you benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding. You can start with an amount you're comfortable with and increase it gradually as your income grows.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers making investment decisions to outperform the market. They can potentially offer higher returns compared to passive funds. Avoid index funds as they merely replicate the market and might not yield the higher returns you aim for.

Importance of Regular Investments
Consistent investments are crucial. Even during market downturns, continue your SIPs. This ensures you buy more units at lower prices, which can boost returns when the market recovers.

Diversifying Your Investment Portfolio
Equity Investments
Equities are known for their potential to generate high returns over the long term. Investing in diversified equity mutual funds or blue-chip stocks can provide good growth. Ensure you have a balanced mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to spread risk.

Debt Instruments
Debt instruments like bonds and fixed deposits offer stability. They provide regular interest income and lower risk compared to equities. A portion of your portfolio should be in debt instruments to balance your risk.

Gold Investments
Gold can be a good hedge against inflation and economic instability. Investing a small portion in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds adds diversity to your portfolio and can provide a safety net.

Tax Efficiency
Tax-Saving Instruments
Utilize tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, like Public Provident Fund (PPF), Employee Provident Fund (EPF), and Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS). These not only reduce your tax liability but also help in building your retirement corpus.

Regular Fund Investments
Investing through a certified financial planner ensures you get professional advice and optimize your portfolio. Regular funds, despite higher expense ratios than direct funds, come with expert guidance, which can be invaluable.

Creating an Emergency Fund
Importance of an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is crucial to cover unexpected expenses without disrupting your investment plan. Aim to save at least 6-12 months' worth of expenses in a liquid, easily accessible account.

Building the Fund
Start by setting aside a portion of your salary every month until you reach your target. This fund should be kept separate from your long-term investments to ensure liquidity during emergencies.

Insurance and Risk Management
Adequate Life Insurance
Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage. This protects your family financially in case of any unforeseen events. Term insurance is a good option as it provides high coverage at a low premium.

Health Insurance
A good health insurance plan is essential to cover medical emergencies. This prevents out-of-pocket expenses that can disrupt your savings and investments.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Periodic Portfolio Review
Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Markets change, and so should your investment strategy. A certified financial planner can help with these periodic reviews.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Rebalancing involves adjusting your investments to maintain your desired asset allocation. For example, if equities have grown significantly, they might form a larger portion of your portfolio than intended. Sell some equities and reinvest in underperforming assets to balance the risk.

Maximizing Your Savings
Budgeting and Expense Management
Track your expenses to identify areas where you can save more. Create a budget and stick to it. This ensures you have more funds available for investments.

Increasing Savings Rate
As your salary increases, aim to increase your savings rate. Even a small increase in your monthly savings can significantly impact your final corpus due to the power of compounding.

Leveraging Employer Benefits
Provident Fund Contributions
Ensure you maximize your contributions to the Employee Provident Fund (EPF). This is a safe and tax-efficient way to build your retirement corpus.

Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF)
Consider contributing to the Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF) if you can save more. VPF offers the same benefits as EPF, with guaranteed returns and tax benefits.

Long-Term Investment Strategies
Compounding Power
The power of compounding cannot be overstated. The earlier you start investing, the more your money grows over time. Regular investments and reinvesting returns accelerate growth.

Staying Invested
Market fluctuations are normal. Stay invested for the long term to ride out volatility. Equity markets tend to deliver good returns over extended periods.

Avoiding Emotional Decisions
Investment decisions should be based on logic, not emotions. Avoid making impulsive decisions based on market movements. A certified financial planner can provide an objective perspective.

Retirement Planning
Projecting Future Expenses
Estimate your future expenses considering inflation. This helps in setting realistic retirement goals. A certified financial planner can assist in creating a detailed retirement plan.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Calculate the corpus needed to sustain your desired lifestyle post-retirement. This helps in determining the monthly investment required to reach your goal.

Withdrawal Strategy
Plan a withdrawal strategy for your retirement corpus. Consider factors like life expectancy, inflation, and market conditions. A well-thought-out strategy ensures your corpus lasts throughout your retirement.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs 1.25 crore by age 55 is definitely possible with disciplined savings and strategic investments. Start with SIPs in actively managed funds, diversify your portfolio, and regularly review your investments. Maintain an emergency fund, ensure adequate insurance, and leverage employer benefits. Stay committed to your goals and avoid emotional decisions. With the right planning and consistent efforts, you'll reach your target and secure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

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Money
Sir i am 47 now married and 2 children one is 7 years daughter and 13 years son. I have 25 lakhs as corpus and my monthly salary is around 1.5 lakhs. I need at least 2 cr as corpus at 55. How can make this happen. Please.
Ans: You are 47, married, with two children, aged 7 and 13.

You have a corpus of Rs 25 lakhs.

Your monthly salary is around Rs 1.5 lakhs.

You aim to accumulate Rs 2 crores by age 55.

Setting Clear Financial Goals

Identify specific goals for each financial milestone.

Prioritize your children's education and your retirement.

Allocate funds accordingly to ensure balanced growth.

Investment Strategy

Invest regularly in a diversified portfolio.

Focus on equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Allocate some funds to debt mutual funds for stability.

Consider investing in gold for diversification.

Keep a small portion in fixed deposits for safety.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Start or increase your SIP contributions.

SIPs offer disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging.

Allocate a higher percentage to equity funds for growth.

Choose actively managed funds over index funds for better returns.

Review and Adjust Portfolio Regularly

Review your investments every six months.

Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for professional advice.

Stay informed about market trends and economic changes.

Emergency Fund and Insurance

Maintain an emergency fund equal to 6 months of expenses.

Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage.

Avoid investment-linked insurance policies.

Focus on pure term insurance for life coverage.

Tax Planning

Invest in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C.

Utilize other sections like 80D for health insurance benefits.

Plan your taxes to maximize returns and minimize liabilities.

Avoid Common Investment Mistakes

Do not chase high returns without understanding the risk.

Avoid frequent buying and selling of investments.

Stick to your investment plan and be patient.

Education and Retirement Planning

Plan for your children's higher education.

Consider education loans to avoid depleting your corpus.

Ensure your retirement corpus is inflation-adjusted.

Review your retirement plan annually.

Benefits of Regular Funds through a CFP

Regular funds offer better advisory support.

Certified Financial Planners provide tailored advice.

Actively managed funds often outperform index funds.

Contingency Planning

Have a plan for unforeseen circumstances.

Ensure your family is financially secure in case of emergencies.

Consider estate planning and writing a will.

Final Insights

Stay disciplined and focused on your goals.

Review and adjust your investments regularly.

Seek professional advice when needed.

Stay informed and educated about financial planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir, I am a 50-year-old working in a private company. I own a house worth 1 crore, which is now loan-free, along with 3 lakh in mutual funds, 16 lakh in fixed deposits, and 10 lakh in the Employees' Provident Fund (EPF). I have 2 children, aged 18 and 12. How can I build up a monthly income of 1 lakh by the age of 58?
Ans: You are 50 years old and still working. You own a Rs. 1 crore home. It is loan-free. That is a great financial base. You also have Rs. 3 lakh in mutual funds, Rs. 16 lakh in fixed deposits, and Rs. 10 lakh in EPF. You want to build Rs. 1 lakh per month income by 58. That’s your retirement age. Let's plan in detail.

You have 8 years left. That’s enough time to build a strong monthly income. Let us plan step by step from all angles.

? Present Financial Snapshot

– Rs. 1 crore in residential property (not liquid).
– Rs. 3 lakh in mutual funds.
– Rs. 16 lakh in fixed deposits.
– Rs. 10 lakh in EPF.

Your liquid and semi-liquid assets total Rs. 29 lakh.
House is not counted for income generation here.
Because it is for your own use and not investment.

You have 2 children – age 18 and 12. Their education goals are close.
You must also keep funds for their education and possibly marriage.
So, your income goal and family needs must balance carefully.

? Target Income Assessment

– You want Rs. 1 lakh per month income after retirement.
– That is Rs. 12 lakh per year.
– And that is just in today’s cost level.
– After 8 years, you may need Rs. 1.7–2 lakh monthly.
– Because of inflation.

This means you must build a strong retirement corpus.
It must give inflation-protected income for 30+ years.

You need to save aggressively now.
And also grow your existing assets wisely.

? Asset Allocation Needs Correction

Right now, your money is mostly in low-growth instruments.
FD and EPF are safe. But their return is low.
They cannot beat inflation in the long run.

Rs. 16 lakh in FD is too much for someone planning income generation.
FDs give taxable interest. Real return is lower after tax.
EPF is helpful for long-term safety. But it is not enough.

Only Rs. 3 lakh in mutual funds is not enough.
You must increase your equity exposure immediately.
That is the only way to grow faster in the next 8 years.

? Mutual Funds Must Be The Growth Engine

You are currently underinvested in mutual funds.
Mutual funds give access to long-term equity growth.
You should invest monthly in good quality active mutual funds.

Avoid index funds. They simply copy the market.
Index funds hold weak companies also.
They fall heavily during market crashes.

Actively managed mutual funds are better.
They protect capital better during bad markets.
Their fund managers make changes when needed.
This gives better downside protection.

Always invest in regular mutual funds through MFDs backed by a Certified Financial Planner.
Direct funds may look cheaper. But they offer no guidance.
Most investors panic and stop SIPs or withdraw early.
That harms compounding.

With regular funds and a good advisor, you stay consistent.
You get personalised advice, reviews and rebalancing.
That is more valuable than saving a small fee.

? How Much Monthly SIP You Need

You are 50 now. You have 8 working years.
To build a strong income corpus, SIP is your best tool.

You should start SIP of at least Rs. 50,000 per month.
If possible, increase it to Rs. 60,000–70,000.
Use step-up SIP feature. Increase it by 10% yearly.
That gives compounding a big boost.

Don’t stop SIPs even if market falls.
Continue for next 8 years without fail.

Choose a mix of multicap, flexicap, and balanced equity funds.
They give better growth and smoother ride.

Add a small portion in debt mutual funds for short-term goals.
This creates flexibility without blocking too much in FD.

? Reallocation From FD to Mutual Funds

You have Rs. 16 lakh in FDs now.
That is too much for someone still working.

You can move Rs. 8–10 lakh from FD into mutual funds.
Do this gradually in 6–8 months using STP.

Do not shift all at once.
Use short-term debt funds to begin STP.

This allows smoother entry into equity.
Avoids the risk of investing large sum in one shot.

Remaining FD amount can be kept for emergency fund.
That ensures liquidity and peace of mind.

? Review of EPF

EPF is a good long-term safety net.
It gives stable, tax-free growth.
Do not withdraw it before age 58.

Let it grow till retirement.
It will become a useful pension backup.

You can use it to partly fund early years of retirement.
After that, mutual fund corpus can take over.

Don’t rely only on EPF. Use it as one part of the solution.

? Child’s Education and Other Family Goals

Your elder child is 18 now.
That means college education will need funds now.
Younger child will also need funds after 4–5 years.

Plan separately for their education.
Don’t touch retirement corpus for their studies.

Use short-term debt and balanced mutual funds for this.
Do not use FD fully. Keep education fund in hybrid form.

If scholarships or education loans are available, use them smartly.
This keeps your retirement plan on track.

Avoid using mutual funds built for retirement on their education.
Always separate goals by investments.

? Emergency Fund and Health Cover

Keep Rs. 3–4 lakh in liquid mutual funds or savings account.
This is your emergency buffer.

Do not mix this with investment funds.

Also check your health insurance status.
After retirement, medical cost will rise.

Make sure you have a separate personal health insurance.
Don’t rely only on employer policy.

Buy a Rs. 10–20 lakh health policy if not yet done.
Do this before 55. After that, health checks may make it hard.

Medical expenses can eat retirement savings if not planned.

? Building Retirement Corpus for Income

You want Rs. 1 lakh per month.
That is Rs. 12 lakh yearly need.

You must build a corpus that can support that spending.
Even if it grows at 9% and you withdraw 6%,
You need Rs. 2 crore–Rs. 2.5 crore at least.

So, you must combine current investments, new SIPs, and compounding.

Use mutual funds for main retirement income plan.
Split retirement funds like this:

– 60–70% equity mutual funds
– 20–25% balanced or hybrid funds
– 5–10% debt or liquid funds

This gives stability and growth both.

Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) post retirement.
This gives monthly income. Also, it is tax-efficient.

But don’t start SWP immediately.
Build corpus first in growth option.

At 58, restructure into SWP-ready structure.

? Keep Reviewing Yearly

Your life situation may change in next 8 years.
Keep reviewing your financial plan every year.
Track goal progress, portfolio balance and tax changes.

Take help of Certified Financial Planner with MFD support.
They help you stay on track and avoid wrong decisions.

Don’t chase returns. Focus on right asset mix.
And consistent investing. That wins in the long run.

? Final Insights

You already have a house. That gives stability.
Your fixed deposits and EPF give safety.
But safety alone cannot give growth.

Rs. 1 lakh monthly income in retirement needs strong compounding.
You must now shift towards growth-oriented planning.

Start monthly SIPs right away.
Shift part of FDs to equity mutual funds.
Review and surrender any LIC or ULIP if you hold.

Plan children’s education separately.
Secure your health and emergency needs.

Build a 360-degree retirement income plan.
Don’t rely on one asset or one type.

Act now. You still have 8 good working years left.
Make each year count with disciplined investing.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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