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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Kanchan Question by Kanchan on Jun 17, 2024Hindi
Money

My age is 32, my current salary is 58000/month,how I get 1.25 cr at the age of 55?

Ans: It's great that you're thinking ahead and planning for your financial future. Let's work together to achieve your goal of Rs 1.25 crore by the age of 55. At 32, you've got a good amount of time to build a solid investment strategy. I'll walk you through various steps and strategies that can help you reach your target.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Firstly, kudos on taking the initiative to plan your future. Your current salary is Rs 58,000 per month. This is a good base to start building a substantial corpus. The key is disciplined savings and strategic investments.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Your target is to accumulate Rs 1.25 crore in 23 years. This goal is achievable with a consistent and well-thought-out investment plan. We'll focus on maximizing your savings and investing wisely to ensure your money grows efficiently.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Starting with SIPs is a great way to grow your wealth over time. SIPs in mutual funds help you benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding. You can start with an amount you're comfortable with and increase it gradually as your income grows.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers making investment decisions to outperform the market. They can potentially offer higher returns compared to passive funds. Avoid index funds as they merely replicate the market and might not yield the higher returns you aim for.

Importance of Regular Investments
Consistent investments are crucial. Even during market downturns, continue your SIPs. This ensures you buy more units at lower prices, which can boost returns when the market recovers.

Diversifying Your Investment Portfolio
Equity Investments
Equities are known for their potential to generate high returns over the long term. Investing in diversified equity mutual funds or blue-chip stocks can provide good growth. Ensure you have a balanced mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to spread risk.

Debt Instruments
Debt instruments like bonds and fixed deposits offer stability. They provide regular interest income and lower risk compared to equities. A portion of your portfolio should be in debt instruments to balance your risk.

Gold Investments
Gold can be a good hedge against inflation and economic instability. Investing a small portion in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds adds diversity to your portfolio and can provide a safety net.

Tax Efficiency
Tax-Saving Instruments
Utilize tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, like Public Provident Fund (PPF), Employee Provident Fund (EPF), and Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS). These not only reduce your tax liability but also help in building your retirement corpus.

Regular Fund Investments
Investing through a certified financial planner ensures you get professional advice and optimize your portfolio. Regular funds, despite higher expense ratios than direct funds, come with expert guidance, which can be invaluable.

Creating an Emergency Fund
Importance of an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is crucial to cover unexpected expenses without disrupting your investment plan. Aim to save at least 6-12 months' worth of expenses in a liquid, easily accessible account.

Building the Fund
Start by setting aside a portion of your salary every month until you reach your target. This fund should be kept separate from your long-term investments to ensure liquidity during emergencies.

Insurance and Risk Management
Adequate Life Insurance
Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage. This protects your family financially in case of any unforeseen events. Term insurance is a good option as it provides high coverage at a low premium.

Health Insurance
A good health insurance plan is essential to cover medical emergencies. This prevents out-of-pocket expenses that can disrupt your savings and investments.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Periodic Portfolio Review
Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Markets change, and so should your investment strategy. A certified financial planner can help with these periodic reviews.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Rebalancing involves adjusting your investments to maintain your desired asset allocation. For example, if equities have grown significantly, they might form a larger portion of your portfolio than intended. Sell some equities and reinvest in underperforming assets to balance the risk.

Maximizing Your Savings
Budgeting and Expense Management
Track your expenses to identify areas where you can save more. Create a budget and stick to it. This ensures you have more funds available for investments.

Increasing Savings Rate
As your salary increases, aim to increase your savings rate. Even a small increase in your monthly savings can significantly impact your final corpus due to the power of compounding.

Leveraging Employer Benefits
Provident Fund Contributions
Ensure you maximize your contributions to the Employee Provident Fund (EPF). This is a safe and tax-efficient way to build your retirement corpus.

Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF)
Consider contributing to the Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF) if you can save more. VPF offers the same benefits as EPF, with guaranteed returns and tax benefits.

Long-Term Investment Strategies
Compounding Power
The power of compounding cannot be overstated. The earlier you start investing, the more your money grows over time. Regular investments and reinvesting returns accelerate growth.

Staying Invested
Market fluctuations are normal. Stay invested for the long term to ride out volatility. Equity markets tend to deliver good returns over extended periods.

Avoiding Emotional Decisions
Investment decisions should be based on logic, not emotions. Avoid making impulsive decisions based on market movements. A certified financial planner can provide an objective perspective.

Retirement Planning
Projecting Future Expenses
Estimate your future expenses considering inflation. This helps in setting realistic retirement goals. A certified financial planner can assist in creating a detailed retirement plan.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Calculate the corpus needed to sustain your desired lifestyle post-retirement. This helps in determining the monthly investment required to reach your goal.

Withdrawal Strategy
Plan a withdrawal strategy for your retirement corpus. Consider factors like life expectancy, inflation, and market conditions. A well-thought-out strategy ensures your corpus lasts throughout your retirement.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs 1.25 crore by age 55 is definitely possible with disciplined savings and strategic investments. Start with SIPs in actively managed funds, diversify your portfolio, and regularly review your investments. Maintain an emergency fund, ensure adequate insurance, and leverage employer benefits. Stay committed to your goals and avoid emotional decisions. With the right planning and consistent efforts, you'll reach your target and secure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 57 years . I have 1 cr corpus. How can I get 1 lakh per month.
Ans: Having a corpus of Rs 1 crore at 57 years is commendable. Your goal of obtaining Rs 1 lakh per month is ambitious. Let's explore how to achieve this sustainably.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Generating Rs 1 lakh per month from Rs 1 crore corpus translates to Rs 12 lakhs annually. This requires careful planning. Balancing growth and income generation while preserving capital is essential.

Understanding Withdrawal Rates
A withdrawal rate of 4-5% per year is generally considered sustainable. With Rs 1 crore, this amounts to Rs 4-5 lakhs annually, significantly less than your target. Achieving Rs 12 lakhs annually requires a higher return or drawing down your principal, which can be risky.

Investment Strategies for Monthly Income
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly from your mutual fund investments. It provides a steady income while keeping the remaining corpus invested for growth.

Balanced Portfolio: Invest in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equities offer growth, while debt provides stability and regular interest income.

Debt Instruments: Consider investments in fixed deposits, bonds, and debt mutual funds. These provide stable returns and can be a reliable source of income.

Dividend-paying Stocks and Funds: Invest in stocks and mutual funds that pay regular dividends. This provides a steady income stream, though dividends can fluctuate based on company performance.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): This government-backed scheme offers regular interest payments and is a safe investment for senior citizens.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs): These are mutual funds designed to provide regular income. They invest in both equity and debt, aiming for stability and moderate returns.

Managing Risks
Diversification is crucial. Spread your investments across different asset classes to reduce risk. Ensure a portion of your corpus is in low-risk investments to protect against market volatility. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio based on performance and changing market conditions.

Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to professional management. Fund managers adjust portfolios based on market conditions and aim for higher returns. This can help achieve your income goals. Although they have higher fees than index funds, the potential for better returns justifies the cost.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide tailored advice and expertise. They can help design an investment strategy aligned with your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation. Investing through a CFP, even with regular funds, offers the advantage of professional guidance, portfolio management, and strategic adjustments. This is more beneficial than the lower cost of direct funds, which lack personalized advice.

Practical Steps to Generate Monthly Income
Determine Monthly Needs: Start by understanding your monthly expenses and essential needs. This will help in planning your withdrawals and investments.

Set Up SWP: Establish a Systematic Withdrawal Plan from your mutual fund investments. This ensures a regular income while allowing the remaining corpus to grow.

Invest in Diversified Assets: Allocate your corpus across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. This balances growth potential and stability.

Include Safe Investments: Invest in low-risk instruments like SCSS, fixed deposits, and bonds. These provide regular income and capital protection.

Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review your investment performance. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal financial needs.

Importance of Regular Review
Regular monitoring of your portfolio is essential. This helps in making timely adjustments to align with your financial goals and market conditions. Consulting with your CFP periodically ensures that your investment strategy remains effective and up-to-date.

Protecting Against Inflation
Inflation reduces purchasing power over time. Ensure your investments can outpace inflation. Equities and equity-oriented funds are good options for long-term growth and inflation protection. A balanced approach helps maintain the real value of your corpus.

Health and Life Insurance
Adequate health and life insurance coverage is crucial. This protects against unforeseen medical expenses and provides financial security for your dependents. Regularly review and update your policies as needed.

Conclusion
Achieving Rs 1 lakh per month from a Rs 1 crore corpus is challenging but possible with a strategic approach. Diversify your investments, use systematic withdrawal plans, and include low-risk instruments. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio with the help of a Certified Financial Planner. This balanced strategy will help you achieve your income goals while preserving your capital.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 37 years having 30k salary with 5000 rs mutual fund monthly from 3 years i want to have 1 CR till my age 50 how can I get it
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Goals
You are 37 years old, earning Rs. 30,000 per month.

You have been investing Rs. 5,000 monthly in mutual funds for the past three years.

You aim to accumulate Rs. 1 crore by the age of 50.

This goal is ambitious but achievable with disciplined investing and planning.

Current Investment Scenario
You have been investing Rs. 5,000 monthly in mutual funds for three years.

Assuming an average annual return of 12%, your investment has grown.

Let’s calculate the current value of your mutual fund investment.

Calculating Current Investment Value
Using a SIP calculator, the current value of your investment is approximately Rs. 2,05,000.

This calculation assumes an annual return of 12%.

You still have 13 years to reach your goal of Rs. 1 crore.

Assessing Required Monthly Investment
To accumulate Rs. 1 crore in 13 years, you need to invest more.

Let’s calculate the required monthly investment using a SIP calculator.

Assuming an annual return of 12%, you need to invest approximately Rs. 27,000 monthly.

Increasing Monthly Investment
Your current monthly salary is Rs. 30,000.

Investing Rs. 27,000 monthly is not feasible with your current income.

You need to explore ways to increase your income or reduce expenses.

Boosting Income
Consider taking up part-time jobs or freelance work to increase your income.

Look for opportunities to upgrade your skills for better-paying jobs.

Higher income will help you invest more towards your goal.

Reducing Expenses
Evaluate your monthly expenses and identify areas to cut costs.

Create a budget to manage your finances effectively.

Redirect the savings towards your investment plan.

Exploring Mutual Funds
Continue investing in mutual funds through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs).

Diversify your investments across equity and debt mutual funds.

This balances risk and potential returns.

Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds have higher growth potential but come with higher risk.

They are suitable for long-term goals due to their growth potential.

Invest a portion of your funds in equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds are less risky and provide stable returns.

They invest in fixed income securities like bonds and government securities.

Include debt mutual funds in your portfolio for stability.

Balanced Mutual Funds
Balanced mutual funds invest in both equity and debt.

They provide a balance of risk and return.

Consider balanced mutual funds to diversify your investments.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Continue with SIPs to invest regularly and systematically.

SIPs benefit from rupee cost averaging and compounding.

Regular investments help in achieving long-term financial goals.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses.

Aim to save at least six months of living expenses.

This fund provides financial security and avoids dipping into investments.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice.

A CFP can help create a comprehensive investment strategy based on your goals.

They can provide guidance on tax-efficient investment options.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning helps in maximizing returns.

Invest in tax-saving instruments like Public Provident Fund (PPF) or National Pension System (NPS).

These instruments offer tax benefits and contribute to your financial goals.

Regular Review and Adjustment
Regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio.

Market conditions and personal financial situations change over time.

Periodic reviews ensure your investments remain aligned with your goals.

Avoiding Quick Rich Schemes
Avoid quick rich schemes as they are often high-risk and can lead to losses.

Stick to disciplined investing through SIPs for long-term wealth creation.

Remember, there are no shortcuts to achieving financial goals.

Conclusion
Achieving Rs. 1 crore by age 50 is ambitious but possible with disciplined investing.

Increase your monthly investment, boost income, and reduce expenses.

Diversify your investments across mutual funds and seek professional advice.

Regularly review your portfolio and avoid quick rich schemes.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

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Money
Sir i am 47 now married and 2 children one is 7 years daughter and 13 years son. I have 25 lakhs as corpus and my monthly salary is around 1.5 lakhs. I need at least 2 cr as corpus at 55. How can make this happen. Please.
Ans: You are 47, married, with two children, aged 7 and 13.

You have a corpus of Rs 25 lakhs.

Your monthly salary is around Rs 1.5 lakhs.

You aim to accumulate Rs 2 crores by age 55.

Setting Clear Financial Goals

Identify specific goals for each financial milestone.

Prioritize your children's education and your retirement.

Allocate funds accordingly to ensure balanced growth.

Investment Strategy

Invest regularly in a diversified portfolio.

Focus on equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Allocate some funds to debt mutual funds for stability.

Consider investing in gold for diversification.

Keep a small portion in fixed deposits for safety.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Start or increase your SIP contributions.

SIPs offer disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging.

Allocate a higher percentage to equity funds for growth.

Choose actively managed funds over index funds for better returns.

Review and Adjust Portfolio Regularly

Review your investments every six months.

Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for professional advice.

Stay informed about market trends and economic changes.

Emergency Fund and Insurance

Maintain an emergency fund equal to 6 months of expenses.

Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage.

Avoid investment-linked insurance policies.

Focus on pure term insurance for life coverage.

Tax Planning

Invest in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C.

Utilize other sections like 80D for health insurance benefits.

Plan your taxes to maximize returns and minimize liabilities.

Avoid Common Investment Mistakes

Do not chase high returns without understanding the risk.

Avoid frequent buying and selling of investments.

Stick to your investment plan and be patient.

Education and Retirement Planning

Plan for your children's higher education.

Consider education loans to avoid depleting your corpus.

Ensure your retirement corpus is inflation-adjusted.

Review your retirement plan annually.

Benefits of Regular Funds through a CFP

Regular funds offer better advisory support.

Certified Financial Planners provide tailored advice.

Actively managed funds often outperform index funds.

Contingency Planning

Have a plan for unforeseen circumstances.

Ensure your family is financially secure in case of emergencies.

Consider estate planning and writing a will.

Final Insights

Stay disciplined and focused on your goals.

Review and adjust your investments regularly.

Seek professional advice when needed.

Stay informed and educated about financial planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Money
have mutual fund of 1cr and equity of 60 lacs Fd of 35 lacs,pf 18.5 lac income of amount 1lacs per month my age 40.At 50 age I need 5 cr.please suggest
Ans: Let’s evaluate your current financial situation and create a plan to achieve your goal of Rs 5 crore by age 50.

Current Financial Overview
Mutual Funds: Rs 1 crore

Equity: Rs 60 lakh

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 35 lakh

Provident Fund (PF): Rs 18.5 lakh

Monthly Income: Rs 1 lakh

Investment Goal
Target Amount: Rs 5 crore

Time Horizon: 10 years

Assessing Current Portfolio
1. Mutual Funds:

You have a substantial investment in mutual funds.

Ensure a mix of equity and debt funds for balanced growth.

2. Equity Investments:

Diversify across sectors and industries.

Invest in fundamentally strong companies.

3. Fixed Deposits:

Low-risk and stable returns.

Reinvest the interest for compounding benefits.

4. Provident Fund:

Provides safe and tax-efficient returns.
Recommendations to Achieve Rs 5 Crore
1. Enhance Equity Investments:

Increase your equity exposure for higher returns.

Focus on large-cap and mid-cap stocks.

Regularly review and adjust your portfolio.

2. SIP in Mutual Funds:

Invest in actively managed funds through SIPs.

Choose funds with a strong track record and experienced managers.

Regular SIPs can help in rupee cost averaging.

3. Diversify Mutual Funds:

Include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and sectoral funds.

Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns.

4. Reinvest Fixed Deposit Interest:

Reinvest the interest from FDs to maximize growth.

Consider breaking FDs into smaller amounts for better liquidity.

5. Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio:

Regularly review your investment performance.

Rebalance your portfolio to align with your goals.

6. Increase Monthly Investments:

Save and invest a portion of your monthly income.

Consider increasing your SIP amounts annually.

7. Avoid Direct Funds:

Direct funds lack professional guidance.

Regular funds through MFDs offer better insights and management.

8. Avoid Index Funds:

Index funds are passive and may not meet your growth targets.

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market.

Risk Management
1. Insurance Coverage:

Ensure adequate life and health insurance.

Protects your family and financial goals.

2. Emergency Fund:

Maintain a separate emergency fund.

Covers unexpected expenses without disrupting investments.

Tax Planning
1. Utilize Tax Benefits:

Invest in tax-saving instruments like ELSS.

Maximize benefits under Section 80C and 80D.

2. Efficient Withdrawal Strategy:

Plan withdrawals from investments to minimize tax liability.
Final Insights
To reach Rs 5 crore in 10 years, enhance equity investments, diversify mutual funds, and increase SIP amounts. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. Avoid direct funds and index funds. Utilize tax-saving options and maintain adequate insurance coverage.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (27M) have recently started searching for prospects through Arranged Marriage Platforms. I got connected with a Lady (25F) & we seemed to be getting along quite well, through chatting & phone calls. When we were planning to meet in person, for our first Date, she picked a place which is one of the most expensive ones in our City & just a single Date over there may cost us around ?10 Thousand. Though, I am earning pretty well (?30Lakh/Annum), I am reluctant to spend so much amount on our First Date, whilst we are still in the process of getting to know each other. If I'd been Married to her, I'd be willing to spend that much for celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. But this is just our First Date & I am not even sure whether we'd be getting Married or not. The Date is scheduled for next Month & I'm still in Dilemma, whether I should request her to meet up at a more affordable venue or ask her to split the expenses, equally or proportionate to our Earning (She earns just around ?6 Lakh/Annum). I'm afraid that being so Straight-forward & upfront about Money Matters, at this stage, might give her a negative impression about me. She seems to be having a lot of Materialistic Expectations from me, as I earn much more than her & she has been hinting me about her expectations such as Expensive Gifts & Vacations abroad. Even though I am a person who's very cautious & disciplined with Money, I'd be glad to spend generously, for the happiness of my Life Partner, but not at this stage, when we haven't even committed to each other. Please suggest me, how can I handle this situation without coming off as too miserly? Moreover, I'm also planning to discuss some important matters, such as how we'd be handling our Finances in the Future. But I am worried, whether it would be appropriate to bring up this matter, in our very first personal meet-up? I'm afraid that she might Judge me as too Money-minded & I might lose out on a suitable match. Please Help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your concerns are completely valid. Splurging, especially at this stage, is unnecessary. Good connections can be built anywhere; expensive places play no part in it. Also, being disciplined about money is the right approach.

I understand that you are worried about coming off miserly, but you are not. You are merely being responsible. You can suggest another more affordable place and see how she reacts. If she is okay with it, then great. If not, then you should rethink this match. You don't want to marry someone who is in it for the money. Now, coming to discussing how to split the finances, I would suggest you wait a bit. A first date might not be the right place for it. If all goes well, and you think this woman can be a suitable match, bring it up politely on the second or third date, to have clarity on it early on. For instance, you can casually start by giving an example of a friend who recently got married- something like, "Rohan's wife takes care of the groceries and stuff, while he pays off the bill." And then mention that you were wondering how you two should split it if you happen to get married. It is a reasonable question and should not show you off as money-minded. It's always best to discuss these important matters in the initial stages to avoid any conflict in the future.

Hope this helps!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024
Relationship
Hello, I am married for 4 years. And someone from my office loves me. He wants me to love him also even if I am married. That office colleague take too much efforts for me, he listens everything about me, he cares about me. But my husband only focused on his work. So I want love, that boy is the best for the love. But loving another man even if you have husband is cheating. I don't know but I feel that I want both of them and I am confused about it. I also love that man from my office. I am so much confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are feeling undervalued by your husband but the "I want both of them" approach has never worked out well for anyone, especially in an exclusive relationship. You have a few options here-
You speak to your husband about how the lack of attention from him is affecting you and work on it with him.
Tell him openly about this man and let him know that there's a slight chance that you might develop feelings for him if your husband continues to pay all his focus on work and none on you. This could shake him up from his slumber and help him realize that he has not been fair to you.
Opt for separation- if you do not have an open marriage, you cannot have both of the men. It isn't moral to do this behind your partner's back.

I strongly suggest you consider doing the first option. Communicate your feelings of loneliness to your husband and seek help from a marriage counselor. It can do wonders for your relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Hello Dr.Shakeeb, I’m a 55 yrs male, had stents implanted in 2020 because of bad food habits and lack of regular movement, things have improved since then with better control on food habits. My problem is belly fat which is embarrassing and my weight is 77kgs, I was on knee braces for last 30 days bcoz of a slight ligament strain, so not able to do strenuous exercises. Pls suggest a workable regime for belly fat elimination considering my case history.
Ans: Hello Sir. Thank you for your query. Reducing belly fat requires a combination of calorie control, low-impact exercises, and lifestyle changes, tailored to your health history. Start by maintaining a slight calorie deficit of 200-300 kcal/day, focusing on a balanced diet rich in lean proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats while avoiding sugary and processed foods. Drink 2-3 liters of water daily to stay hydrated. Engage in low-impact activities like brisk walking for 30-40 minutes daily, which is gentle on the knees and heart-friendly. Incorporate simple core-strengthening exercises such as pelvic tilts, seated knee lifts, and standing side bends to activate abdominal muscles without straining your knees. As your ligament strain heals, consult Physiotherapist about gradually increasing exercise intensity, including light resistance training. Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep and manage stress through mindfulness to lower cortisol levels, which can contribute to belly fat. Small, frequent meals can keep your metabolism active, and tracking progress through waist measurements rather than just weight will help you stay motivated. These adjustments will promote gradual, sustainable fat loss while ensuring safety and heart health. I wish you healthy and active lifestyle.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I'm 48 married with 2 kids daughter in 10th and son in 5th. Wife works as a VP in a large firm. Since post COVID there has been almost no intimacy. I tried to talk to her and she says that I'm a sex maniac. I said once in six months at least she says not interested. She s fit in good health exercises and all tests are ok. Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. We go on tours and trips and functions and everything externally is normal. I buy her gifts and we go out to restaurants etc. Everything except intimacy. I've tried to talk about 50 times but she doesn't want to talk not seek any help. Infact the signs of this started from 2016. She's 43 now. I m thinking of now seperating from her. Im really fed up. Nothing is working, and she's adamant. I've pulled on for kids but maybe I can be together for a few more years. I can't live with her forever. You generally ask people to get help and talk etc which is done and tried and yet no solution. Can you agree for once that there is a genuine case to not continue It's my life I know but I think I'm 100% right and that i have hit the end of the road. Inhold you in high regard hence writing to you Sameer
Ans: Dear Sachin,
Thank you for your kind and respectful acknowledgement of me.
Now,
You wrote:
Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. - What was shocking? You have not shared this!

Lack of interest in sex can be due to:
- change in hormones
- boredom in the bedroom routine
- lack of intimacy outside the bedroom

Now, what I must agree on is something that we can keep aside, yeah? My job is to try and guide people to put things together of course, if that's what they want. You seem to have already believed that nothing can work; how can anyone guide you? When you claim that you nothing is working, I will still ask you, "How do you know that you have tried everything to know that nothing is working?"

Also, if you have decided to separate, what more can I suggest? You feel that you are 100% right, BUT you know what: If you actually were 100% right, you would not be here checking in with me...Just playing the mirror here for you.
I still would suggest that you work on your marriage; communicate and rebuild...it's a long path BUT the fruits of it can be amazing!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am married 2.5 years ago to a man , who is very less in education compared to me , this marriage was done as a compromise or in worries about my future as my parents are no more .. He and his family is average in all case ..cleanliness, hygeiene , social relations, religious practices , education , self respect , financial well being ... all these things are either meaningless for them or they vary poor in those . Nor even they have moral values , as they have cheated me by hiding my husband's age to me . I told them that we strongly believe in astrology and will not go without it . Still they gave me wrong information about his age and he is very elder to me .As I am well educated , employed and self dependant. So they somehow trapped me for marriage. After 3-4 months of marriage my husband was diagnosed (a type of oral cancer) caused due to consuming gutkha and ciggarettes. He lied and denied to have any disease still i started his medication . In some time I lost my job also still continued his treatment , tried to help him in his business , it made a big impact on my sqving too :( But because of his careless business practice , it didnt work for him. Also I paid many times his car's EMI . And supported in all types of expenses be it house hold , his medication or business . He has parental properties in village but they are hardly using it for their own use and wanted to use my money till now . As I now denied to give more money , now they have started looking to sell or rent / lease their property for their use . I have spent lot of money on them , I hardly believe they will try to pay it out fully to me or give some part of property for my safe future now :( I am now 43 and have no children . At other hand my brother is also alone( even being his wife and 2 sons) Wife is quarrelsome and has a history of false case of dowry on my brother and due to this my brother and my family sufferered a lot , its been 20 years now . But this has tortured my brother me and my mother a lot in past .Sis-in-law never let my nephews to stay or sit for some time with us (me or my mother ). And now as my both nephews have grown up my sis-in-law told them lie as if she was victim and , we were the culprit . Children were innocent , they didnt knew the fact , hence taking mother's side now. I thought that as my sis-in-law doesn't like us so unwillingly I decided to marry with a compromise , thinking that after my marriage all will be fine in brother's home , But nothing improved. And now my brother , after my marriage is emotionally alone at home , I feel very sorry about this . I want to go back and take care of my brother , as now he is 53 and emotionally very weak , diabetic and suffering other disease too . Sis-in-law is least interested in his health , care .. so as her children. Going back to parental (it is my father's home, so i also have legal right on that property )home and leaving husband is not so easy, .. Elder Nephew and sis-in-law can become very violent as they are always . I dont want to endanger my brother's health and if I dont go then also .. brother is taking care of him alone ..that too very casually ..how can i make all things correct . Please suggest .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Hello! Excuse me...
Take care of yourself first before trying to save someone else.
Your brother is a grown man and knows what is to be done. Allow him to process his life's situations. By stepping into it especially in your state of mind will make things worse. Also, if you want guidance on this, kindly post another question else it will get confusing for all of us here.

First think of what you must do to make things better for yourself. Ask yourself whether you are interested in continuing the marriage. A lot of your time, money and energy has been invested in it and based on a lie. You have no clue what else they have lied about...do you want a marriage that is standing on a bed of lies? is it possible for you to trust your husband and his family all over again? What can they do so that you place trust in them again?

If this is not possible, the you are in a place where you need to make decisions about your marriage and your life in general.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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