Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Approaching Retirement: How Should I Invest 1Cr for My Future?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Suresh Question by Suresh on Sep 24, 2024Hindi
Money

Dear Sir, I am due to retire in 2 years I am likely to have a corpus of 1CR by the time. Currently I have investments in Stocks, MFs,and Land.Total worth of around 1 Cr apart from the amount expected after retirement.With this amount how can I invest for my retirement? I don't have a pension option. My wife is getting a pension of 50K per month now. 2. Recently I have sold a property for 83 lakhs which has not yielded any profit. I can say that it is no loss no profit transaction. The invested corpus was from housing land and our own funds. Do I need to invest the amount I received out of the transaction to escape capital gains tax or not?

Ans: It's great that you are preparing for your retirement with a clear picture of your corpus. Based on your current investments and the Rs 1 crore you expect to receive after retirement, it’s essential to structure a well-diversified retirement plan. Let's explore how to manage this amount wisely to ensure a smooth and comfortable retirement.

You have a mix of investments in stocks, mutual funds (MFs), and land, which indicates a diversified portfolio. However, once you retire, your investment strategy needs to shift towards safety, steady returns, and liquidity.

Assessing Your Retirement Needs

Before deciding on your investment strategy, it’s important to assess your monthly expenses. You have mentioned that your wife receives a pension of Rs 50,000 per month. It’s a good foundation, but you will need to estimate whether this amount is sufficient to cover household expenses, healthcare costs, lifestyle needs, and unforeseen expenses.

If your monthly expenses exceed Rs 50,000, you will need to create a strategy to generate additional income from your investments.

Allocation of the Rs 1 Crore Corpus

When you retire, you’ll need to protect your corpus while still generating returns. Here’s a basic framework for how you can allocate your Rs 1 crore:

Emergency Fund (15-20%)

Keep aside Rs 15-20 lakhs in a safe and liquid investment such as fixed deposits or liquid mutual funds. This will act as an emergency fund and ensure that you have quick access to cash whenever needed without compromising on your long-term investments.

Debt and Fixed Income Instruments (40-50%)

At this stage, safety is key, and you should allocate a large part of your retirement corpus to secure, fixed-income products. This ensures capital protection while giving regular income. You can invest in government bonds, fixed maturity plans (FMPs), or senior citizen savings schemes (SCSS).

These instruments provide predictable returns and are low-risk, making them ideal for retirees seeking steady income. These will also help protect your investments from the volatility associated with stocks.

Equity-Linked Mutual Funds (20-25%)

While you want to play it safe during retirement, keeping a portion of your corpus in equity-linked funds is important. These can generate inflation-beating returns in the long term.

Opting for well-managed, actively managed funds is more suitable than index funds. Actively managed funds have a higher potential for growth as the fund manager adjusts the portfolio to market conditions. This provides an opportunity for better returns compared to index funds, which mirror market indices and are more passive.

Monthly Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

To generate a regular income, you can invest a portion of your corpus in mutual funds and set up an SWP. This will allow you to withdraw a fixed sum every month, ensuring a steady flow of income post-retirement without exhausting your investments too soon.

Health Insurance and Contingency Fund

Healthcare costs can be a significant burden during retirement. Ensure that both you and your wife are covered under a comprehensive health insurance plan that provides adequate coverage.

Also, build a contingency fund specifically for medical expenses. This can be parked in liquid funds or savings accounts.

Managing the Rs 83 Lakhs from the Property Sale

You mentioned that you recently sold a property for Rs 83 lakhs without making any profit. However, you need to understand if any capital gains tax liability applies. The property sale, even if no profit was made, could still attract capital gains tax depending on the indexed cost of acquisition and the actual sale price.

Here are the next steps for managing the Rs 83 lakhs:

Exemption on Long-Term Capital Gains

To avoid paying capital gains tax, you can consider reinvesting the proceeds into specified avenues under Section 54 or Section 54EC of the Income Tax Act.

If this was a residential property, reinvesting in another residential property within a stipulated time period can exempt you from long-term capital gains tax under Section 54.

Alternatively, you can invest in capital gains bonds (54EC bonds), which offer a tax exemption on the gains. These bonds have a lock-in period of five years, and while the returns are modest, they provide a safe and tax-efficient way to manage your gains.

Final Insights on Your Retirement Plan

To summarise, your retirement plan needs a balance between generating sufficient income and ensuring capital protection. Here's a detailed step-by-step approach:

Create an emergency fund with Rs 15-20 lakhs for liquidity.

Allocate 40-50% of your corpus to safe, fixed-income instruments like government bonds or SCSS for regular income.

Maintain 20-25% in equity-linked mutual funds for growth and inflation protection.

Use an SWP to withdraw a fixed sum monthly to cover additional income needs.

Calculate your capital gains from the property sale and reinvest in Section 54 or 54EC instruments to save on taxes.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage to manage medical expenses.

By following this approach, you will ensure your financial independence in retirement and can confidently enjoy the next phase of your life.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Money
I am 39 male. I have a current corpus as follows. MF 15L, PF 23L, PPF 5L, company share 7L, NPS 8 lakhs (10k per month), 60L stock trading earning 2% per month, loan outstanding 15L, earning 3L per month and adding 50k per month into trading capital. I have a home of 1 crore and one kid . I continue 36k per month MF SIP, 28k per month MF, 40kvhome loan emi. After 7 years all these will accumulate to these numbers PF 75 lkhs Company share 40lakgs MF 80 lakhs EL & gratuity 15 lakhs LIC 35 lakhs I want to retire at 45 and wishing and confident to accumulate 7 crores in total. These are my plans for retirement. 1. Planning to do a MF SWP for 60k per month or 5% per anum from a corpus of 1.5 Cr. Will that 1.5 crore grow and last beating inflation till the rest of my life? 2. I wish to put these amounts in MF .50lakhs for emergency fund, 50lakhs kids education and marriage. 3. Will keep on trading with the remaining 4-5 crores cautiously till I attain 60 years of age. Is there any suggestions on asset allocation, or any other way of putting funds now and after retirement?
Ans: Planning for retirement is a significant financial decision, especially when aiming to retire early. You have a clear vision for your financial future, and your detailed plan shows that you have given it a lot of thought. Let's evaluate your current situation and future plans, and provide suggestions to help you achieve your retirement goals by age 45.

Current Financial Snapshot
You have a diverse portfolio with various investments. Your assets and monthly contributions are:

Mutual Funds: Rs 15 lakhs
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 23 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 5 lakhs
Company Shares: Rs 7 lakhs
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 8 lakhs (contributing Rs 10,000 monthly)
Stock Trading: Rs 60 lakhs, earning 2% monthly
Loan Outstanding: Rs 15 lakhs
Monthly Earnings: Rs 3 lakhs
Monthly SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs 36,000
Additional Monthly Mutual Fund Investment: Rs 28,000
Monthly Home Loan EMI: Rs 40,000
Your home is valued at Rs 1 crore, and you have one child.

Future Projections
In seven years, you expect your investments to grow as follows:

PF: Rs 75 lakhs
Company Shares: Rs 40 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs 80 lakhs
Employee Provident Fund (EPF) and Gratuity: Rs 15 lakhs
LIC: Rs 35 lakhs
You aim to accumulate a total corpus of Rs 7 crores by the age of 45.

Retirement Income Strategy
You plan to implement a Mutual Fund Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Rs 60,000 per month or 5% per annum from a corpus of Rs 1.5 crores.

Assessing the SWP Plan
Using a SWP for a steady income is a popular strategy. However, the sustainability of this plan depends on the growth of your corpus and inflation.

Growth and Longevity: If your mutual fund investments grow at a rate higher than your withdrawal rate (5%), your corpus can sustain and even grow over time. However, this requires choosing actively managed funds with a good track record of beating inflation and market returns.

Inflation Impact: Over the years, inflation can erode the purchasing power of your withdrawals. Ensure your investments are in funds that consistently outperform inflation.

Asset Allocation for Safety and Growth
Diversifying your investments is crucial to managing risk and ensuring growth. Let's assess your proposed allocations:

Emergency Fund (Rs 50 lakhs): Having a substantial emergency fund is wise. Ensure this is kept in a highly liquid, low-risk investment, such as a money market fund or a high-interest savings account.

Child’s Education and Marriage (Rs 50 lakhs): Investing this amount in mutual funds for long-term goals is prudent. Consider equity-oriented funds with a history of good performance.

Trading Strategy
Continuing with stock trading cautiously till 60 years of age can be lucrative. However, trading involves significant risk.

Risk Management: Ensure you have a robust risk management strategy. Never risk more than you can afford to lose, and maintain a diversified trading portfolio.

Consistent Earnings: Achieving a consistent 2% monthly return is ambitious. Regularly review and adjust your trading strategies based on market conditions.

Recommendations for Asset Allocation
Diversify Investments: Diversify between equity, debt, and hybrid funds to balance risk and return.

Regular Review: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to align with market conditions and life changes.

Professional Guidance: Consider periodic consultations with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your strategy remains sound and aligned with your goals.

Conclusion
Your detailed planning and disciplined approach are commendable. With a focus on maintaining diversified investments and managing risks, you are well-positioned to achieve your retirement goals. Your proactive planning for an emergency fund and child’s education ensures financial security for unforeseen events and important milestones.

Final Thoughts
Stay Informed: Keep abreast of market trends and economic changes.
Be Flexible: Be ready to adjust your strategies as needed.
Prioritize Security: Ensure your investments align with your risk tolerance and long-term goals.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir , Im currently 43 and Im an NRI with family staying with me. We have 2 kids 13 yrs Boy & 5 yrs Girl. I have couple of questions: 1.I have a housing loan for 25 lakhs with EMI of 25 thousand for another 9 years. Unknowingly I choose the floating interest and it keeps on increasing. What is the best way to proceed, will the interests rate come down? 2. We have retirement polity which will start @ age 55 and have invested little amount in SIP of 2 lahks. I have a lumpsum amount of 15 lakhs and is it advisable to do the one time investment in mutual funds and leave it to grow for the next 15 years. What will be the approx. corpus it will create. Will it reach 2 CR?
Ans: First, let's address your concern about the housing loan. You mentioned that your EMI is Rs 25,000 for 9 more years, and it's on a floating interest rate. This situation can feel frustrating, especially when rates are rising, but there are ways to manage it effectively.

Switch to a Fixed Interest Rate: One of the simplest solutions could be switching your loan to a fixed rate. Fixed rates provide predictability. You may lose out on lower rates if they drop, but you avoid the stress of rising rates.

Loan Refinancing: You can explore refinancing your loan with a different bank or financial institution that offers a better rate. Many banks offer balance transfer options at competitive interest rates. This could help reduce your EMI and interest burden.

Interest Rates Outlook: Predicting interest rates can be challenging. While rates may decrease over time, there's no certainty. If you're on a floating rate, be prepared for fluctuations. It's often better to make proactive decisions based on your current financial situation rather than wait for rates to drop.

Extra Prepayments: Another option is to make additional prepayments when possible. This can help reduce the principal amount and, consequently, the interest burden over time. Even small prepayments can make a significant difference in reducing your total interest payable.

Tenure Extension: You could consider extending your loan tenure, though this isn't always the best solution. It lowers your monthly EMI, but increases the overall interest payout. If cash flow is tight, this might be a temporary solution.

You might want to consider discussing these options with your lender to find the best possible solution for your current financial situation.

Investment in Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth
You mentioned having a lumpsum amount of Rs 15 lakhs that you plan to invest for 15 years. This is a great time horizon for wealth accumulation, and mutual funds can be an excellent avenue for long-term growth.

One-Time Investment in Mutual Funds: Yes, investing your Rs 15 lakhs in a mutual fund is a good strategy for long-term growth. Since your investment horizon is 15 years, you can afford to take moderate to high risks, which can yield potentially higher returns.

Growth Potential: Historically, equity mutual funds have delivered around 10-12% annual returns over the long term. While returns are never guaranteed, equity mutual funds tend to outperform other asset classes like fixed deposits or bonds in the long run.

Potential Corpus Creation: Assuming a conservative return of 10% per annum, your Rs 15 lakh one-time investment could potentially grow to Rs 60-65 lakhs in 15 years. This is based on historical data, and actual returns could be higher or lower.

Will It Reach Rs 2 Crore?: Reaching Rs 2 crore with just Rs 15 lakh over 15 years might be challenging with a one-time investment. However, you can achieve this goal by regularly topping up your investment, either through SIPs or additional lump-sum investments. You can also choose more aggressive mutual fund categories to potentially increase your returns, but this comes with higher risk.

Active Mutual Funds Over Index Funds: While many investors prefer index funds, actively managed funds could be a better option for you. These funds are managed by professional fund managers who actively pick stocks based on market conditions. Active funds have the potential to outperform the market, whereas index funds only replicate market performance.

Benefits of Regular Plans Over Direct Plans: If you’re not monitoring your portfolio actively, it's better to invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). CFPs offer you guidance, ongoing support, and help you make informed decisions. Direct plans, while lower in cost, don’t offer this level of expertise or handholding.

Overall, a mutual fund investment could certainly help you achieve a significant corpus over 15 years, but reaching Rs 2 crore will likely require a combination of one-time and systematic investments.

Your Existing Retirement Policy
You mentioned that you have a retirement policy starting at age 55. This policy may provide you with a steady source of income during retirement. However, it’s essential to evaluate its performance periodically.

Policy Performance: Review the policy’s growth rate and see if it aligns with your retirement needs. Often, these policies offer lower returns compared to mutual funds. You might want to consider diversifying your retirement savings by adding mutual fund investments.

Supplementing with Mutual Funds: Since you’re investing in mutual funds through SIPs, this is a good strategy to supplement your retirement policy. SIPs provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging, which reduces the impact of market volatility. Increasing your SIP contributions over time can significantly enhance your retirement corpus.

Additional Considerations for Your Financial Plan
Here are some more suggestions that can help you secure your financial future:

Children’s Education: With two children aged 13 and 5, their education expenses are likely to rise soon. It’s important to start planning for their education costs, which could be substantial in the coming years. You can explore child education funds or set aside a portion of your mutual fund investments for this purpose.

Insurance: Ensure that you have adequate life and health insurance coverage for your family. Health emergencies or unexpected events can derail your financial plans, so having sufficient coverage is crucial. Consider increasing your coverage if needed.

Emergency Fund: It’s essential to have an emergency fund in place to cover at least 6-12 months of living expenses. This provides a financial cushion in case of unforeseen circumstances like job loss or medical emergencies. Keep this fund in a liquid and easily accessible instrument, such as a savings account or liquid mutual funds.

Debt Repayment Strategy: Focus on repaying your housing loan, especially if you choose to remain on a floating rate. Clearing your debt early will reduce your financial burden and free up more money for investments. As mentioned earlier, consider making small prepayments when possible.

Estate Planning: It’s also worth considering estate planning to ensure that your assets are distributed as per your wishes in the future. Creating a will or trust can provide peace of mind, knowing that your family is protected.

Key Takeaways
Switch your loan to a fixed rate or consider refinancing it to manage rising interest rates.

A one-time investment of Rs 15 lakhs in mutual funds could yield significant returns over 15 years, but reaching Rs 2 crore may require additional investments.

Evaluate your existing retirement policy and supplement it with mutual fund investments for better long-term growth.

Ensure that you are adequately insured and that you have an emergency fund in place.

Start planning for your children’s education and consider estate planning to safeguard your family's future.

Final Insights
Your overall financial situation seems solid, and you’ve made wise choices by investing in SIPs and planning for your retirement. However, with the fluctuating interest rates on your home loan and your desire to grow your wealth, it’s crucial to make proactive decisions now.

By refining your loan strategy, focusing on growing your mutual fund investments, and securing your family’s future with proper insurance and estate planning, you can build a strong financial foundation. Achieving Rs 2 crore is possible with consistent investment discipline and proper guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  | Answer  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Respected sir, I have an old land worth 2 crore which I am planning to sell.Original sale deed is of Rs 1 lakh Can you please help me: 1. How much tax have to pay? 2. Where should I invest rest for max return? 3. Currently living on rent but planning to buy 2 flats around 50 lacks each. I will stay in one and the second one will sell. Is this correct? 4. My current income is 2 lakh a month and I have kid only. Investments already in PPF monthly 10K, Sukanya Yojna monthly 20K rest expenses 60K monthly. I am a 44 year old married. My Goal is to have: 25 Lakhs for Education in next 7 yrs and Retirement income 1Lakh a month.
Ans: Hello;

1. You have 2 options of long term capital gain tax working because you have old land.
a.200-1=199 Lakhs on this a tax of 12.5% i.e.24.875 Lakhs
b.200-x=xyz Lakhs on this a tax of 20%
Where "x" is the inflation indexed cost of acquisition
You may consult a CA for calculating "x" for you and also recommending ways in which you can avoid payment of this tax based on provisions of income tax act.

If you can save on entire tax payment by reinvesting the capital gain from land sale into real estate then it makes sense to invest in real estate. You may rent out part of your real estate to earn rental income.

You may do a monthly sip of `90 K in an equity savings type mutual fund with low to moderate risk for 7 years.

It may grow into a sum of 1 Cr after 7 years assuming modest return of 9%. It may be utilised to fund higher education of your kid and partially funding your retirement income in addition to rental income.

Best Wishes;
X: @mars_invest

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 27, 2025

Listen
Hi. I am a 50 year old NRI working in Africa. I have so far managed to save +/- 200K USD and it is in FCNR term deposits in India. I also have Mutual funds to the tune of 1.3 cr (around 10 lakhs is equity). Other than that i have some Unit Linked Pension Funds of +/- 35 lakhs. I own a 1 bhk in Mumbai (+/- 95 lakhs) and another 2 BHK (+/- 35 lakhs) just outside of Mumbai which is giving rent but rent is negligble Rs 7500/- per month. My only dependents are my wife and my mother. I have a couple of queries for which i want some guidance from the esteemed experts on this site. I think i may be able to work for another year or two in this place in Africa. As such i am expecting a salary take home total of +/- 90k USD till next year as i may need to quit this job after around 1.5 to 2 years. - Is it possible for me to retire after 2 years or so with my existing corpus ? - Only the USD amounts will work out roughly to +/- 2.5 cr. Is there any way i can invest these USD funds and generate maybe 20% returns on this in the next 2 years or so ? regards,
Ans: You have built a strong financial base. Your corpus consists of FCNR deposits, mutual funds, and unit-linked pension funds. You also own real estate, though rental income is low.

You are planning to retire in 2 years. Your main question is whether your savings are enough. You also want to explore high-return investments for your USD funds.

Below is a detailed review with recommendations.

Can You Retire in 2 Years?
Retirement depends on your expenses, inflation, and returns. Let's evaluate:

Current Corpus: Around Rs 2.5 crore in FCNR deposits and Rs 1.3 crore in mutual funds.
Other Assets: Unit-linked pension funds of Rs 35 lakhs and real estate worth Rs 1.3 crore.
Future Income: Your salary will add Rs 75 lakhs–Rs 90 lakhs in the next 2 years.
Expenses: Not mentioned, but essential for planning.
Your financial strength is good. But early retirement needs careful planning. Passive income must cover your expenses. You also need emergency funds and healthcare coverage.

Is 20% Return Possible in 2 Years?
Achieving 20% annual return is extremely risky.
High returns come with high volatility and possible losses.
No safe investment can guarantee such returns in 2 years.
Market-linked options may give high returns, but they can also fall.
Instead of chasing high returns, focus on:

Stable Growth: Invest in well-managed mutual funds.
Capital Protection: Keep part of your funds in low-risk instruments.
Income Generation: Explore SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for regular income.
Suggested Investment Strategy for Retirement
1. Optimise USD Investments
FCNR deposits are safe but give moderate returns.
You can move some funds to high-quality debt and balanced funds.
If comfortable with risk, consider part equity allocation for long-term growth.
2. Restructure Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Increase allocation to large-cap and flexi-cap funds.
Reduce dependency on unit-linked pension funds if returns are low.
Keep an emergency fund to cover 2-3 years of expenses.
3. Improve Rental Income or Liquidate Property
Rs 7,500 rental income on a Rs 35 lakh property is too low.
Selling it and reinvesting in higher-yield options may be better.
If keeping real estate, explore ways to increase rental yield.
4. Plan for Healthcare and Insurance
Medical costs rise with age. Get strong health insurance in India.
Ensure adequate life insurance to protect your wife and mother.
5. Plan Monthly Withdrawals Post-Retirement
SWP from mutual funds can create a steady cash flow.
Fixed deposits can support liquidity needs.
Keep a mix of growth and stable investments.
Final Insights
Retiring in 2 years is possible if you control expenses and plan investments well.

Instead of chasing high returns, focus on capital preservation and income generation.

Restructure your portfolio for stability and long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x