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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6977 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi I am 44 year old & want to invest in SIP @ amount Rs.5000/- per month for 15 yrs. Please suggest some SIP which is good for long term return.

Ans: Investing in a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is a wise decision for securing your financial future. At 44 years old, you have a 15-year horizon for your SIP investment of Rs. 5000 per month. This long-term approach can yield significant returns due to the power of compounding. Let's explore how you can optimize your SIP investment strategy.

Genuine Compliments and Understanding
Your decision to invest regularly and plan for the long-term is commendable. It's never too late to start, and your foresight will benefit you greatly in the years to come.

Understanding SIPs and Their Benefits
What is a SIP?
A SIP allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in a mutual fund scheme. This methodical investment helps in building wealth over time without the stress of market volatility.

Benefits of SIPs
Rupee Cost Averaging: SIPs reduce the risk of market volatility by averaging the cost of your investments over time.
Power of Compounding: Regular investments grow exponentially due to compounding, especially over a long period.
Financial Discipline: SIPs inculcate a habit of regular saving and investing.
Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Long-Term Goals
Your primary goal is to achieve a substantial corpus after 15 years. This corpus can serve various purposes such as retirement, children's education, or other financial aspirations.

Selecting the Right Mutual Funds for SIP
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds are suitable for long-term investments due to their potential for higher returns. These funds invest in stocks of companies, aiming for capital appreciation.

Types of Equity Funds
Large-Cap Funds: Invest in large, established companies with a stable performance history.
Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential but slightly higher risk.
Small-Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies that can offer high returns but come with higher risk.
Multi-Cap Funds: Invest in companies of all sizes, providing a balanced approach to risk and return.
Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track a specific index and offer average returns matching the index performance. They lack the flexibility to adapt to market changes.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, guided by professional fund managers, aim to outperform the market. Fund managers make strategic decisions based on market analysis, potentially offering higher returns.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance. They help in selecting the right mix of funds to optimize your investment portfolio.

Diversification for Risk Management
Diversified Portfolio
Diversifying your investments across various types of equity funds mitigates risk. A well-diversified portfolio balances potential high returns with the stability of safer investments.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Stability
As you approach your financial goals, consider a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to withdraw your investments in a structured manner. This ensures a steady income stream without depleting your corpus rapidly.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Investment
Regular Review
Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Market conditions and personal financial situations change, and your investment strategy should adapt accordingly.

Rebalancing
Rebalance your portfolio if certain funds significantly outperform or underperform. This maintains the desired asset allocation and risk level.

Tax Efficiency
Tax Planning
Effective tax planning enhances your returns. Equity mutual funds held for more than a year qualify for long-term capital gains tax, which is lower than short-term gains tax.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
Maintaining an Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This safeguards against unforeseen financial needs without disturbing your investments.

Adequate Insurance Coverage
Having adequate health and life insurance protects your financial plan. Insurance coverage ensures that unexpected medical expenses or unfortunate events do not derail your financial goals.

Conclusion
Your decision to invest Rs. 5000 per month in SIPs for 15 years is a strategic move towards financial security. By selecting the right equity mutual funds and diversifying your portfolio, you can achieve substantial returns. Regular monitoring, tax planning, and professional guidance will further enhance your investment strategy.

Your commitment to investing for the long-term is commendable. With careful planning and disciplined execution, you can achieve your financial aspirations and secure a stable future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6977 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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I am willing to invest INR 12500 in SIP for next 10 to 15 years. Kindly advise for best SIP for good return.
Ans: investing in SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) is a smart way to build wealth over the long term. With a time horizon of 10 to 15 years, you have the opportunity to benefit from the power of compounding and potentially higher returns from equity investments. Here's a suggestion for a diversified SIP portfolio:

Large Cap Fund: Allocate a significant portion of your SIP amount to a large-cap fund. These funds invest in established companies with a proven track record and offer stability to your portfolio.
Flexi Cap Fund: Opt for a flexi-cap fund that provides the flexibility to invest across companies of various market capitalizations based on market conditions. This offers exposure to both large, mid, and small-cap segments, enhancing diversification.
Mid Cap Fund: Allocate a portion of your SIP to a mid-cap fund, focusing on companies with medium market capitalization. Mid-cap companies have the potential for significant growth, providing an opportunity for higher returns over the long term.
Small Cap Fund (Optional): Depending on your risk appetite, you may consider including a small-cap fund in your portfolio. These funds invest in smaller companies with the potential for rapid growth, albeit with higher volatility.
By focusing on large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds, you create a well-diversified SIP portfolio that balances stability with growth potential. Before finalizing your investment decisions, assess your risk tolerance and consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your portfolio aligns with your long-term financial goals. Remember to stay disciplined and review your portfolio periodically to make any necessary adjustments.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6977 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir.. I am 37 years old. Dont have any investiments as of now.. I can invest 15k per month for long term. Please suggest me some SIP OPTIONS Which suits for me
Ans: It's great that you're considering investing for the long term at 37. SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) are an excellent way to start building wealth gradually. Here are some suggestions for SIP options that could suit you:

Diversified Equity Funds: Opt for SIPs in diversified equity funds that invest across various sectors and market capitalizations. These funds offer growth potential over the long term while spreading risk across different segments of the market.

Large Cap Funds: Consider investing in large-cap funds, which primarily focus on well-established companies with a track record of stable performance. These funds offer relatively lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds while still providing opportunities for growth.

Multi-Cap Funds: Multi-cap funds invest in companies across the market capitalization spectrum, offering a balance of growth and stability. These funds adapt to changing market conditions, making them suitable for long-term investors seeking diversification.

Balanced Funds: If you prefer a balanced approach, consider SIPs in balanced funds, which invest in both equities and debt instruments. These funds offer a mix of capital appreciation and income generation, making them suitable for conservative investors.

Sectoral Funds (Optional): If you have a strong conviction about a specific sector's growth potential, you may consider SIPs in sectoral funds. However, keep in mind that sectoral funds carry higher risk due to their concentrated exposure.

When selecting SIP options, consider factors such as your risk tolerance, investment goals, and investment horizon. Additionally, review the fund's track record, fund manager's expertise, and expense ratio before making a decision.

Remember, consistency and patience are key when investing through SIPs. Stay committed to your investment plan, and over time, you can potentially build a significant corpus for your future financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6977 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi I’m 23 years old and I want to invest 5k per month in Sip for at least 20 years. Can you please suggest some sip's?
Ans: Kickstarting Your Investment Journey at 23: A Smart Move!
Investing ?5,000 per month through SIPs for 20 years is a fantastic decision at your young age! Here are some ideas for potential SIP investments, but remember, this is not financial advice:

Building a Diversified Portfolio:

Equity Funds: Consider investing a portion in equity funds that offer growth potential over the long term. Actively managed equity funds involve experienced fund managers who try to pick stocks to outperform the market. Actively managed funds come with higher fees compared to passively managed funds. You can explore Large-cap, Mid-cap, or Flexi-cap funds based on your risk tolerance.

Debt Funds: Invest a portion in debt funds for stability and to balance your portfolio's risk profile. Debt funds can provide regular income and help manage volatility.

Here's a Sample SIP Allocation (you can adjust based on risk tolerance):

60%: Large-cap or Multi-cap Actively Managed Equity Funds for long-term growth.

20%: Mid-cap Actively Managed Equity Funds for potentially higher growth (with higher risk).

20%: Debt Funds (short/medium/long-term) for stability and income generation.

Important to Remember:

Do Your Research: Research actively managed funds and choose those with a good track record and a reputable fund house.

Review Regularly: Review your SIPs at least annually to ensure they remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Personalized Plan: A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can create a personalized SIP plan considering your risk tolerance, investment goals, and future needs. They can suggest specific actively managed funds based on your risk profile.
By starting early, staying invested for the long term, and potentially consulting a CFP, you can be on track to achieving your financial goals!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6977 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 34 years old, planning to resign my job after 10 years, want to invest 20000/month in sip, so that i will a get a good amount after 10 yrs, pls suggest which SIP s i need to choose
Ans: At 34 years old, planning for a 10-year investment horizon is a smart move. Resigning from your job after 10 years means you will need a strong corpus to support your financial needs. Investing Rs. 20,000 per month in SIPs is a solid step, but choosing the right mix of funds is crucial for growth, stability, and capital preservation over the long term.

Let’s go through some strategies that can help you reach your goals. I will also provide insights into SIP selections that suit your situation.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Your investments should be balanced between equity and debt to ensure a steady growth rate while managing risk. Given your 10-year horizon, the majority of your SIPs can be focused on equity mutual funds.

Here’s how you can think about the allocation:

Equity Mutual Funds (70%): These funds can give you high returns over the long term. However, they come with risk, so diversification is essential. Investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds will give you exposure to different sectors of the market.

Debt Funds (30%): Debt mutual funds offer stability and safety for your investment. They can act as a cushion during market volatility.

This mix will give you a blend of growth and risk management.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Many investors consider index funds or ETFs as low-cost alternatives, but in your case, actively managed funds might serve you better.

Here’s why:

Index Funds vs. Actively Managed Funds: Index funds track the market, meaning they cannot outperform it. However, actively managed funds have professional fund managers who select stocks and bonds to outperform the market. This can lead to higher returns over time.

Flexibility in Actively Managed Funds: Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. In volatile times, they can switch to safer assets or sectors. This kind of active management adds value, especially when you're looking at a 10-year investment horizon.

Benefits of Regular Plans over Direct Plans
While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they don’t offer professional guidance. In your case, it’s best to invest in regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials.

Here’s why:

Better Guidance: An MFD with CFP certification offers valuable insights into market conditions and the best performing funds. This ensures that your investments are reviewed regularly.

Portfolio Monitoring: Direct funds put the responsibility of managing your portfolio on you. With regular plans, the MFD monitors your portfolio, ensuring your SIPs align with your goals.

Equity Fund Categories to Consider
When investing Rs. 20,000 monthly, diversification is essential. Here are some key fund categories that you should consider, without naming specific schemes:

Large-Cap Funds: These funds invest in stable and well-established companies. They offer steady returns over time with lower risk compared to mid or small-cap funds. Large-cap funds are ideal for core holdings in your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Funds: These funds focus on companies that are in their growth phase. While they are riskier than large-cap funds, they can provide higher returns. Having exposure to mid-cap funds can boost your overall returns.

Small-Cap Funds: These funds target small companies with high growth potential. They come with a higher risk, but over a 10-year period, they have the potential to generate significant returns. Invest in small-cap funds only if you are comfortable with short-term market fluctuations.

Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across market capitalizations (large, mid, and small). They offer flexibility and help you benefit from different market conditions. Flexi-cap funds provide a balanced approach to growth and risk management.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds switch between equity and debt based on market conditions. They provide stability in volatile markets and can be a part of your SIP strategy to protect your corpus from excessive risk.

Role of Debt Funds in Your Portfolio
While equity funds will drive your growth, debt funds play an important role in reducing volatility. These funds are safer but offer lower returns. Since you are investing for 10 years, you can allocate a portion of your monthly SIP to debt funds to provide stability to your portfolio.

Some categories to consider include:

Short-Term Debt Funds: These funds offer good liquidity and are less sensitive to interest rate changes. They can provide steady returns while keeping risk low.

Corporate Bond Funds: These funds invest in high-rated corporate bonds. They offer slightly higher returns than government bonds but come with a bit more risk.

Lump Sum Investment for Long-Term Growth
You mentioned having Rs. 3 lakhs to invest as a lump sum. A good approach would be to invest this amount in a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP).

Here’s how it works:

STP Strategy: Invest the Rs. 3 lakh lump sum into a low-risk debt fund initially. Then, gradually transfer a fixed amount into an equity mutual fund over time. This ensures you benefit from rupee-cost averaging and reduces the risk of investing a large amount during a market high.

Diversified Equity Fund: You can transfer the lump sum into a diversified equity fund. This will allow you to benefit from market growth while reducing the impact of short-term market fluctuations.

Tax Implications to Keep in Mind
When investing for a 10-year period, it’s important to be aware of the tax implications of your investments.

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds over Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. Keep this in mind when redeeming units after 10 years.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and STCG on debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. This means your returns from debt funds will be added to your income for tax purposes.

This taxation aspect is crucial when planning withdrawals after 10 years.

Increasing Your SIP Contribution
Given your income of Rs. 1.80 lakh monthly and no existing liabilities, it’s advisable to increase your SIP contributions gradually.

Here’s why:

Step-Up SIP: This is a facility where you increase your SIP amount each year. By doing this, your corpus grows faster, allowing you to reach your goal sooner. A small increase of 10-15% each year can make a big difference over 10 years.

Compounding Effect: By increasing your SIP every year, you benefit from the power of compounding. The longer you stay invested and the more you invest, the greater your returns will be over time.

Emergency Fund Consideration
You mentioned that you have Rs. 60 lakh in Fixed Deposits (FDs). While this is a good emergency fund, you might want to reallocate a portion to debt mutual funds. Debt mutual funds can provide better returns than FDs over time, with similar safety.

Here’s how you can manage this:

FDs vs. Debt Funds: FDs offer fixed returns but are less tax-efficient. Debt mutual funds, on the other hand, offer slightly higher returns and are more tax-efficient, especially if held for the long term.

Emergency Fund Size: Keep a portion of your FD as an emergency fund, but consider shifting the rest into debt mutual funds. This way, you’ll still have liquidity, but your money will work harder for you.

Final Insights
Your current SIP investments are well-diversified, but there is room for improvement. Increasing your SIP gradually, rebalancing between equity and debt, and using a systematic transfer plan for lump sum investments will all help boost your corpus over the next 10 years.

Additionally, keep an eye on tax implications when planning withdrawals.

With a disciplined approach, you can achieve your goal of building a solid corpus by the time you plan to resign.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |397 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2024Hindi
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Me and my bf are resident docters in a hospital .We hardly had time with each other ,but always supported each other in difficult times.Through fights ,breakups ,patch ups ,we were there all in these 3 years .He has always been more career oriented , hardly expressed any feelings on his own for me ,he only expressed or said i love when i asked him too .Now i m in my last year of md exams ,he got selected in aiims delhi dm since he was senior to me .Now he hardly communicates with me ,like in 48 h ,all we do is talk for 2 min ,where he hardly says anything ,sometimes he talks is about work.I have asked him multiple times if anything wrong i did ,he has kept on saying he is busy ,he says atleast i call u ,i hardly have time for anyone.He says all he sees now is his work ,patients and career . I have always adjusted according to him ,now it is becoming difficult to adjust .I cant take the trauma of leaving him ,because i have very important exams in 4 months .He was my only bestfriend ,my guide ,my love .He has been changed person .But i m studying and working almost 20 hrs , how to cope up ,i m all alone in this melodrama ,sometimes i wish i was dead
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your feelings are valid. It is indeed difficult to adjust to an unexpressive partner. One out of two things can be happening here- one, he does not know how to express his emotions; that is who he is fundamentally. Two, the work pressure and hectic hours have made him detached. You can try having an open conversation with him about it and let him know that you are not being able to carry on like this. Communicate your concerns and how his attitude toward you has affected your mental health. That is the only way to move forward. After the conversation either of two things will happen- it will be a wake-up call for him and things will change for the better. Or, he will continue to behave the same way and you have to rethink the relationship. My suggestion is to have the talk after your exams. I know you think he is your everything, but you are your everything. Do not let this relationship waste the years of hard work you have put into your studies. Focus on yourself and trust me when I say this- value yourself the way you want others to value you. If you don't, why would anyone else?

I hope this helps. Best Wishes.

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Anu Krishna  |1274 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024
Relationship
I am married for last 3 years. I found out about my wife's sexual past just months into our marriage. I even enquired her about her past before our marriage and told her that I don't tolerate lies and don't believe in premarital sex but she still lied to me and deceived into a fraud marriage. So I started sleeping with prostitutes and call girls as a revenge. I even had an affair with a divorced woman but that didn't last long. I know I didn't do anything wrong. She is the one is in the wrong. She deceived me into a fraud marriage. Should I forgive her and live with her?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
instead of dealing with the problem at hand, you decided to go and create more problems?
What prevented you from actually talking to your wife. If you felt cheated, was it not possible for you to channel the anger by having a conversation with her about it? Revenge never helped anyone, but well...
Now, by blaming her, what can happen is that she will defend and you will again accuse and this will go on...
So, yes you are feeling cheated and deceived by her. You have two ways of approaching it. rebuild your marriage and start with a clean slate which means she cannot keep secrets with you anymore OR you can build more anger which is bound to destroy the marriage. I would suggest the first option where you get a fair chance to express how you feel to her and also come clean with your revenge scene with her...this may help both of you put things aside and rebuild the connection. Give this a fair shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1274 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hello, I am a 42 year old woman with a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. Ours was an arranged marriage. I got married at age 23 and my husband is just 2 years older to me. Right from the beginning my husband is great at cooking, household chores etc but never expresses romance openly. I was always a emotional woman who slowly turned to him and stopped expressing my needs well. So far out marriage was great cos I avoided confrontations and arguments. Only thing was he was always a critical person and I am emotional girl . Since I cld not express myself clearly as he never heard me, my communication with him sounded nagging, comparing and complaining. In 2011, he cheated on me and I learnt on his affair. I did not know how to process this phase so immediately forgave him within 2-3 days and even ended up being pregnant with my daughter. However he never used to speak on his past affair not were my feelings resolved. Whenever he would speak rudely or yelled at kids or me for little things, the past trauma would trigger and I would openly remind him of his grave mistake. This went on and he would get agitated and keep quiet. One day he did tell me that lifelong he needs to live with this past of me reminding him. But he has never understood the trauma I have gone through. I have just repressed it all along. Cut short 2024- there is lots of resentment with us. In 2022, I saw messages that he exchanged with another lady colleague on romantic songs , good morning messages and they would casually meet for lunch etc . This time I flew in rage and assumed he has cheated on me again. Told him first time I was a fool who didn't notice things right under my nose and now this is the latest. We had a big fight. I reminded him of his dirty past. At first he looked shocked from these allegations and told me he will clarify everything later. But next day in 2022 , when I asked him, he appeared to be a changed man and sounded more confident that he didn't do anything wrong. I pestered him to take me to office, we went to his office I met this lady and politely told her to stop sending good morning messages to my husband. I indirectly told her I have trust issues because of a past but did not elaborate. My husband who had taken me to the office , later was annoyed because apparently the woman colleague was annoyed about me coming to office and also mentioned about my trust issues. At this point this great husband spilt out to her that he had cheated on me. I never ever disclosed anything to her. Later he messaged me saying he was very annoyed and upset that I disclosed the dirty past to his colleague and if anything happens to his job he will never forgive me. I did tell him I never disclosed but he did not belive me. From 2022 until now we are almost in a silent divorce phase. We sleep in different bedroom and only communicate basic stuff on milk, curd , veggies etc He had never connected to me emotionally and would always get annoyed when I wld cry or show my frustrations. Now after all this he has literally cut me off emotionally. In this period from 2022-till now I did try to get back to normal but his vibes are very negative and disconnected. So even I too started distancing myself. During 2022, after the incident he had mentioned on how it is important to work, ve independent and how he favours open relationships ( non sexually). I was always working but earned lesser and used to depend on him a lot. Now I have changed in these 2 years, I have a better job and am not at all dependent on him emotionally, physically or mentally. Infact I pitch in to our household expenses.Our lives are totally disconnected and we there just for the kids. He cooks for all of us, I take care of remaining chores and help them in their studies . We don't attend family events and this has left many guessing on our status. I have lot of unresolved emotions and since he cannot process my emotions or least interested to hear me out I don't know when I will explode. I am just repressing my feelings and keeping a happy cheerful face for the family and kids. We even went for a vacation for kids sake where we just interacted with kids. Kids know things are not allright and pray for us together. I know this isn't healthy for me and I will invite psychosomatic issues in life later on. I am still attached to him and maybe once he expresses a sorry or a remorse and have a hope we can fall back in love again. Why can he never understand that emotional trauma that I have gone through Inspite of being loyal to him always. For once if he just uses kind words and apologises I will forever love him and forget everything.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband perhaps is someone who is not great at conflict management; he finds it easier to avoid it and avoidance can mean that he hopes that it will go away or that you will stop talking about it or that he can find ways of actually pinning the blame on you for the way that he is feeling.
So, you will come across as nagging and may also feel guilty for asking him to listen to the way that you feel about the past incident. This is classic avoidance response from him that will make you wonder of you are actually wrong and at some point you may even start justifying his actions.
Repression is temporary; eventually all the emotions will collect themselves and hit back when you least expect it. If you want him to hear you and the way you have felt about his cheating, he will again get pushed into an avoidance mode. He has not learned any other way of handling conflicts. So, either you can go to couples counseling together OR you accept this side of him. Sounds too much to do, yeah? But how can you change a person who does not want to change. Some people also cannot express their love the way you have mentioned.
Since you still love him, I can only assume that the marriage holds a lot of significance for you. Then you can be happy only when he changes OR you accept him... which one seems more doable, start with that first...who knows if an external person like an expert can actually guide the two of you, things may fall in place!
I would also suggest requesting him for an honest chat where he is also in a space to LISTEN to you...try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |397 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024
Relationship
I am a 27 year old female. I am dating a guy for 10+ years, we have become too casual about each other. Its like our relationship has lost the spark after we left college. We are dragging our relationship just because we both arent ready to put efforts in finding new partners. Whenever we meet, we cuddle and sleep and havent had sex since last 2 years. Emotionally we are too close but physical intimacy is kindof lost. Since its time to get married. I am still unsure whether he as of now is the one for lifetime. Should we venture for new partners respectively or are we the one for each other. Please Suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have to ask "Are we the one for each other?" something must be going really wrong in the relationship. Moreover, you also mentioned dragging it, so reconsidering the relationship can't hurt. There is another option- you can try couple's therapy and get to the bottom of this detachment. It can be time; it happens to many long-term couples. Nothing comes without effort- you will have to work on it every day and explore new things to bring back the spark. If you don't want to let go of this relationship, try these suggestions. But to continue lugging it because this relationship is all too familiar and comfortable now is not the right decision. If it's okay with both of you, take a break and venture out for new partners. See how things pan out. The choice is yours. The only thing that I can confirm is that at this point, you should not rush into getting married and focus on sorting things out first.

Best Wishes.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |153 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

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My daughter has completed BSc in Life Science and Masters in Microbiology in June 2024. She is searching/applyin for jobs in pharma companies but no success Please guide
Ans: Hi Sir,

I am glad to hear that she has completed her MSc in Microbiology. Could you let me know what type of project she worked on during her final year? Additionally, what skills has she acquired during her postgraduate studies? While eligibility might be determined by her percentage, it's important to note that skills play a significant role in the job market.

Did she complete an internship in the pharma industry? Nowadays, many candidates claim to have experience, but often lack competency in their subjects.

One essential aspect is preparing her resume. She should highlight her skills, any internships she has completed, and the projects she worked on during her postgraduate program.

Industries are currently facing various challenges due to human resource issues, making them cautious in selecting candidates for specific roles.

I also recommend that she consider an internship at Biocon for six months. They have an academy focused on biotech-related training, and completing this prograHi Sir,

I am glad to hear that she has completed her MSc in Microbiology. Could you let me know what type of project she worked on during her final year? Additionally, what skills has she acquired during her postgraduate studies? While eligibility might be determined by her percentage, it's important to note that skills play a significant role in the job market.

Did she complete an internship in the pharma industry? Nowadays, many candidates claim to have experience, but often lack competency in their subjects.

One essential aspect is preparing her resume. She should highlight her skills, any internships she has completed, and the projects she worked on during her postgraduate program.

Industries are currently facing various challenges due to human resource issues, making them cautious in selecting candidates for specific roles.

I also recommend that she consider an internship at Biocon for six months. They have an academy focused on biotech-related training, and completing this program successfully may lead to a job at Biocon, depending on her performance.

All the best! m successfully may lead to a job at Biocon, depending on her performance.

All the best!

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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