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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir.. I am 37 years old. Dont have any investiments as of now.. I can invest 15k per month for long term. Please suggest me some SIP OPTIONS Which suits for me

Ans: It's great that you're considering investing for the long term at 37. SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) are an excellent way to start building wealth gradually. Here are some suggestions for SIP options that could suit you:

Diversified Equity Funds: Opt for SIPs in diversified equity funds that invest across various sectors and market capitalizations. These funds offer growth potential over the long term while spreading risk across different segments of the market.

Large Cap Funds: Consider investing in large-cap funds, which primarily focus on well-established companies with a track record of stable performance. These funds offer relatively lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds while still providing opportunities for growth.

Multi-Cap Funds: Multi-cap funds invest in companies across the market capitalization spectrum, offering a balance of growth and stability. These funds adapt to changing market conditions, making them suitable for long-term investors seeking diversification.

Balanced Funds: If you prefer a balanced approach, consider SIPs in balanced funds, which invest in both equities and debt instruments. These funds offer a mix of capital appreciation and income generation, making them suitable for conservative investors.

Sectoral Funds (Optional): If you have a strong conviction about a specific sector's growth potential, you may consider SIPs in sectoral funds. However, keep in mind that sectoral funds carry higher risk due to their concentrated exposure.

When selecting SIP options, consider factors such as your risk tolerance, investment goals, and investment horizon. Additionally, review the fund's track record, fund manager's expertise, and expense ratio before making a decision.

Remember, consistency and patience are key when investing through SIPs. Stay committed to your investment plan, and over time, you can potentially build a significant corpus for your future financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

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My age is 50 years old I want to invest Rs. 5000/- per month SIP for 5 to 10 years period. Please suggest SIP plan in which I should invest.
Ans: Given your investment horizon of 5 to 10 years and your age of 50, it's important to choose SIPs that balance growth potential with risk management. Here's a diversified portfolio suggestion:

Large Cap Equity Fund: Invest 40-50% of your SIP amount in a reputable large-cap equity fund. Large-cap funds offer stability and moderate growth potential. Look for funds with a consistent track record and low expense ratio.

Flexi Cap Equity Fund: Allocate 30-40% of your SIP amount to a flexi-cap equity fund. These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, providing exposure to different segments of the market. Choose a fund with a seasoned fund manager and a disciplined investment approach.

Balanced Advantage Fund: Allocate the remaining 10-20% of your SIP amount to a balanced advantage fund. These funds dynamically manage equity and debt allocations based on market conditions, offering downside protection during market downturns. Look for a fund with a proven track record of managing volatility.

Debt Fund (Optional): If you prefer lower risk, you can consider allocating a small portion of your SIP amount to a debt fund. Debt funds provide stable returns with lower volatility compared to equity funds. Choose a fund with a suitable duration and credit quality based on your risk tolerance.

Ensure to review your portfolio periodically and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation and market conditions. Consider consulting with a financial advisor for personalized recommendations tailored to your goals and risk profile.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi I’m 23 years old and I want to invest 5k per month in Sip for at least 20 years. Can you please suggest some sip's?
Ans: Kickstarting Your Investment Journey at 23: A Smart Move!
Investing ?5,000 per month through SIPs for 20 years is a fantastic decision at your young age! Here are some ideas for potential SIP investments, but remember, this is not financial advice:

Building a Diversified Portfolio:

Equity Funds: Consider investing a portion in equity funds that offer growth potential over the long term. Actively managed equity funds involve experienced fund managers who try to pick stocks to outperform the market. Actively managed funds come with higher fees compared to passively managed funds. You can explore Large-cap, Mid-cap, or Flexi-cap funds based on your risk tolerance.

Debt Funds: Invest a portion in debt funds for stability and to balance your portfolio's risk profile. Debt funds can provide regular income and help manage volatility.

Here's a Sample SIP Allocation (you can adjust based on risk tolerance):

60%: Large-cap or Multi-cap Actively Managed Equity Funds for long-term growth.

20%: Mid-cap Actively Managed Equity Funds for potentially higher growth (with higher risk).

20%: Debt Funds (short/medium/long-term) for stability and income generation.

Important to Remember:

Do Your Research: Research actively managed funds and choose those with a good track record and a reputable fund house.

Review Regularly: Review your SIPs at least annually to ensure they remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Personalized Plan: A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can create a personalized SIP plan considering your risk tolerance, investment goals, and future needs. They can suggest specific actively managed funds based on your risk profile.
By starting early, staying invested for the long term, and potentially consulting a CFP, you can be on track to achieving your financial goals!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 44 year old & want to invest in SIP @ amount Rs.5000/- per month for 15 yrs. Please suggest some SIP which is good for long term return.
Ans: Investing in a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is a wise decision for securing your financial future. At 44 years old, you have a 15-year horizon for your SIP investment of Rs. 5000 per month. This long-term approach can yield significant returns due to the power of compounding. Let's explore how you can optimize your SIP investment strategy.

Genuine Compliments and Understanding
Your decision to invest regularly and plan for the long-term is commendable. It's never too late to start, and your foresight will benefit you greatly in the years to come.

Understanding SIPs and Their Benefits
What is a SIP?
A SIP allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in a mutual fund scheme. This methodical investment helps in building wealth over time without the stress of market volatility.

Benefits of SIPs
Rupee Cost Averaging: SIPs reduce the risk of market volatility by averaging the cost of your investments over time.
Power of Compounding: Regular investments grow exponentially due to compounding, especially over a long period.
Financial Discipline: SIPs inculcate a habit of regular saving and investing.
Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Long-Term Goals
Your primary goal is to achieve a substantial corpus after 15 years. This corpus can serve various purposes such as retirement, children's education, or other financial aspirations.

Selecting the Right Mutual Funds for SIP
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds are suitable for long-term investments due to their potential for higher returns. These funds invest in stocks of companies, aiming for capital appreciation.

Types of Equity Funds
Large-Cap Funds: Invest in large, established companies with a stable performance history.
Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential but slightly higher risk.
Small-Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies that can offer high returns but come with higher risk.
Multi-Cap Funds: Invest in companies of all sizes, providing a balanced approach to risk and return.
Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track a specific index and offer average returns matching the index performance. They lack the flexibility to adapt to market changes.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, guided by professional fund managers, aim to outperform the market. Fund managers make strategic decisions based on market analysis, potentially offering higher returns.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance. They help in selecting the right mix of funds to optimize your investment portfolio.

Diversification for Risk Management
Diversified Portfolio
Diversifying your investments across various types of equity funds mitigates risk. A well-diversified portfolio balances potential high returns with the stability of safer investments.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Stability
As you approach your financial goals, consider a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to withdraw your investments in a structured manner. This ensures a steady income stream without depleting your corpus rapidly.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Investment
Regular Review
Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Market conditions and personal financial situations change, and your investment strategy should adapt accordingly.

Rebalancing
Rebalance your portfolio if certain funds significantly outperform or underperform. This maintains the desired asset allocation and risk level.

Tax Efficiency
Tax Planning
Effective tax planning enhances your returns. Equity mutual funds held for more than a year qualify for long-term capital gains tax, which is lower than short-term gains tax.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
Maintaining an Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This safeguards against unforeseen financial needs without disturbing your investments.

Adequate Insurance Coverage
Having adequate health and life insurance protects your financial plan. Insurance coverage ensures that unexpected medical expenses or unfortunate events do not derail your financial goals.

Conclusion
Your decision to invest Rs. 5000 per month in SIPs for 15 years is a strategic move towards financial security. By selecting the right equity mutual funds and diversifying your portfolio, you can achieve substantial returns. Regular monitoring, tax planning, and professional guidance will further enhance your investment strategy.

Your commitment to investing for the long-term is commendable. With careful planning and disciplined execution, you can achieve your financial aspirations and secure a stable future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 34 years old, planning to resign my job after 10 years, want to invest 20000/month in sip, so that i will a get a good amount after 10 yrs, pls suggest which SIP s i need to choose
Ans: At 34 years old, planning for a 10-year investment horizon is a smart move. Resigning from your job after 10 years means you will need a strong corpus to support your financial needs. Investing Rs. 20,000 per month in SIPs is a solid step, but choosing the right mix of funds is crucial for growth, stability, and capital preservation over the long term.

Let’s go through some strategies that can help you reach your goals. I will also provide insights into SIP selections that suit your situation.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Your investments should be balanced between equity and debt to ensure a steady growth rate while managing risk. Given your 10-year horizon, the majority of your SIPs can be focused on equity mutual funds.

Here’s how you can think about the allocation:

Equity Mutual Funds (70%): These funds can give you high returns over the long term. However, they come with risk, so diversification is essential. Investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds will give you exposure to different sectors of the market.

Debt Funds (30%): Debt mutual funds offer stability and safety for your investment. They can act as a cushion during market volatility.

This mix will give you a blend of growth and risk management.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Many investors consider index funds or ETFs as low-cost alternatives, but in your case, actively managed funds might serve you better.

Here’s why:

Index Funds vs. Actively Managed Funds: Index funds track the market, meaning they cannot outperform it. However, actively managed funds have professional fund managers who select stocks and bonds to outperform the market. This can lead to higher returns over time.

Flexibility in Actively Managed Funds: Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. In volatile times, they can switch to safer assets or sectors. This kind of active management adds value, especially when you're looking at a 10-year investment horizon.

Benefits of Regular Plans over Direct Plans
While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they don’t offer professional guidance. In your case, it’s best to invest in regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials.

Here’s why:

Better Guidance: An MFD with CFP certification offers valuable insights into market conditions and the best performing funds. This ensures that your investments are reviewed regularly.

Portfolio Monitoring: Direct funds put the responsibility of managing your portfolio on you. With regular plans, the MFD monitors your portfolio, ensuring your SIPs align with your goals.

Equity Fund Categories to Consider
When investing Rs. 20,000 monthly, diversification is essential. Here are some key fund categories that you should consider, without naming specific schemes:

Large-Cap Funds: These funds invest in stable and well-established companies. They offer steady returns over time with lower risk compared to mid or small-cap funds. Large-cap funds are ideal for core holdings in your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Funds: These funds focus on companies that are in their growth phase. While they are riskier than large-cap funds, they can provide higher returns. Having exposure to mid-cap funds can boost your overall returns.

Small-Cap Funds: These funds target small companies with high growth potential. They come with a higher risk, but over a 10-year period, they have the potential to generate significant returns. Invest in small-cap funds only if you are comfortable with short-term market fluctuations.

Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across market capitalizations (large, mid, and small). They offer flexibility and help you benefit from different market conditions. Flexi-cap funds provide a balanced approach to growth and risk management.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds switch between equity and debt based on market conditions. They provide stability in volatile markets and can be a part of your SIP strategy to protect your corpus from excessive risk.

Role of Debt Funds in Your Portfolio
While equity funds will drive your growth, debt funds play an important role in reducing volatility. These funds are safer but offer lower returns. Since you are investing for 10 years, you can allocate a portion of your monthly SIP to debt funds to provide stability to your portfolio.

Some categories to consider include:

Short-Term Debt Funds: These funds offer good liquidity and are less sensitive to interest rate changes. They can provide steady returns while keeping risk low.

Corporate Bond Funds: These funds invest in high-rated corporate bonds. They offer slightly higher returns than government bonds but come with a bit more risk.

Lump Sum Investment for Long-Term Growth
You mentioned having Rs. 3 lakhs to invest as a lump sum. A good approach would be to invest this amount in a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP).

Here’s how it works:

STP Strategy: Invest the Rs. 3 lakh lump sum into a low-risk debt fund initially. Then, gradually transfer a fixed amount into an equity mutual fund over time. This ensures you benefit from rupee-cost averaging and reduces the risk of investing a large amount during a market high.

Diversified Equity Fund: You can transfer the lump sum into a diversified equity fund. This will allow you to benefit from market growth while reducing the impact of short-term market fluctuations.

Tax Implications to Keep in Mind
When investing for a 10-year period, it’s important to be aware of the tax implications of your investments.

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds over Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. Keep this in mind when redeeming units after 10 years.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and STCG on debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. This means your returns from debt funds will be added to your income for tax purposes.

This taxation aspect is crucial when planning withdrawals after 10 years.

Increasing Your SIP Contribution
Given your income of Rs. 1.80 lakh monthly and no existing liabilities, it’s advisable to increase your SIP contributions gradually.

Here’s why:

Step-Up SIP: This is a facility where you increase your SIP amount each year. By doing this, your corpus grows faster, allowing you to reach your goal sooner. A small increase of 10-15% each year can make a big difference over 10 years.

Compounding Effect: By increasing your SIP every year, you benefit from the power of compounding. The longer you stay invested and the more you invest, the greater your returns will be over time.

Emergency Fund Consideration
You mentioned that you have Rs. 60 lakh in Fixed Deposits (FDs). While this is a good emergency fund, you might want to reallocate a portion to debt mutual funds. Debt mutual funds can provide better returns than FDs over time, with similar safety.

Here’s how you can manage this:

FDs vs. Debt Funds: FDs offer fixed returns but are less tax-efficient. Debt mutual funds, on the other hand, offer slightly higher returns and are more tax-efficient, especially if held for the long term.

Emergency Fund Size: Keep a portion of your FD as an emergency fund, but consider shifting the rest into debt mutual funds. This way, you’ll still have liquidity, but your money will work harder for you.

Final Insights
Your current SIP investments are well-diversified, but there is room for improvement. Increasing your SIP gradually, rebalancing between equity and debt, and using a systematic transfer plan for lump sum investments will all help boost your corpus over the next 10 years.

Additionally, keep an eye on tax implications when planning withdrawals.

With a disciplined approach, you can achieve your goal of building a solid corpus by the time you plan to resign.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025
Relationship
Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.
Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Relationship
Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
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Money
I want to retire by 2026. Current financials - MF 2cr value, equity- 5cr, 2 own homes, bank FD - 20L, Savings a/c - 90L, no loans, 2 vehicles, 2 daughters employed, marriageable age. Current expenses - 1.5lacs/month. How do I plan to retire by March 2026.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. Planning for retirement in March 2026 is realistic.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Your total investments and savings exceed Rs 8 crore.
You have no loans, ensuring financial stability.
Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.5 lakh, which requires proper planning.
Creating a Secure Retirement Corpus
Maintain Rs 90 lakh in a savings account only for short-term needs.
Keep Rs 20 lakh in FD for emergency expenses.
Use a mix of mutual funds and equities for long-term wealth growth.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for a regular income.
Keep a portion of your corpus in debt investments to ensure stability.
Adjust your investment strategy based on inflation and expenses.
Planning for Major Future Expenses
Daughters' weddings need a dedicated investment plan.
Allocate a portion of low-risk investments for this goal.
Avoid withdrawing from equity investments unnecessarily.
Final Insights
Your financial standing supports early retirement.
Ensure liquidity while keeping long-term investments intact.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner for detailed execution.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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