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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 39 years old and earning net salary after all (NPS/EPF/EMI) deductions 1.4 lac per Month. Current NPS balance 37 lac and EPF balance 25 lacs. I have also deposited 7 Lac in PPF, 12 Lac in mutual fund and 8 lacs in stocks. I have a house for which the remaining loan amount is 16.5 lacs. My current SIP is 22000 in MF and 10500 in stocks. I have a term plan of 2 cr. I can save another 50000-60000 per month with 5 % stepup. I have two kids studying in clas 5 and 3 respectively. I want to build a corpus of 3 cr for their higher education and 1 cr for my retirement in coming 11-14 years. Review my current investment and suggest me assets for investment for mentioned goals.

Ans: Building a solid financial plan is crucial. You aim to save Rs. 3 crores for your children's education and Rs. 1 crore for your retirement in the next 11-14 years. This plan will evaluate your current investments and suggest strategies to meet these goals.

Current Financial Situation

You're 39 years old with a net monthly salary of Rs. 1.4 lakhs after deductions. Your investment portfolio includes Rs. 37 lakhs in NPS, Rs. 25 lakhs in EPF, Rs. 7 lakhs in PPF, Rs. 12 lakhs in mutual funds, and Rs. 8 lakhs in stocks. Your house has an outstanding loan of Rs. 16.5 lakhs. You invest Rs. 22,000 monthly in mutual funds and Rs. 10,500 in stocks. You also have a term plan of Rs. 2 crores.

Financial Goals

Rs. 3 crores for children's higher education in 11-14 years.
Rs. 1 crore for retirement in the same period.
Review of Current Investments

NPS and EPF: These provide a stable foundation. They offer decent returns with tax benefits.

PPF: While secure and tax-free, PPF has a lock-in period and a lower return rate compared to other investment options.

Mutual Funds: Your current SIPs of Rs. 22,000 are a good start. However, actively managed funds could offer better returns than index funds.

Stocks: Direct stock investments of Rs. 10,500 per month show your willingness to take risks for higher returns.

Term Plan: A term plan of Rs. 2 crores is a wise decision for protecting your family.

Evaluating Investment Options

Actively Managed Mutual Funds

Actively managed funds offer the potential for higher returns due to expert management. Unlike index funds, which replicate a benchmark index, actively managed funds aim to outperform the market.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds

Expert Management: Professionals make investment decisions based on market conditions and research.

Potential for Higher Returns: Actively managed funds can outperform the market, offering better returns.

Flexibility: Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market trends and opportunities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Limited Growth: Index funds aim to replicate the market, which limits their growth potential.

No Expert Management: These funds follow a passive investment strategy, missing out on market opportunities.

Direct vs. Regular Funds

While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they lack the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). Regular funds, though slightly more expensive, provide access to professional advice.

Advantages of Regular Funds

Professional Guidance: A CFP can help you choose the best funds and adjust your portfolio based on your goals and risk tolerance.

Holistic Financial Planning: CFPs offer a comprehensive approach to financial planning, considering all aspects of your financial life.

Investment Strategies

To achieve your goals of Rs. 3 crores for your children's education and Rs. 1 crore for retirement, consider the following strategies:

Increase SIPs in Mutual Funds

Increase your SIPs from Rs. 22,000 to Rs. 50,000 per month. Use a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for diversification.

Allocate a portion to flexi-cap funds to benefit from different market capitalizations.

Enhance Stock Investments

Increase your monthly investment in stocks from Rs. 10,500 to Rs. 15,000. Choose stocks with strong growth potential and diversify across sectors.

Consider investing in blue-chip stocks for stability and consistent returns.

Optimize NPS Contributions

Continue contributing to your NPS account. It provides tax benefits and helps in building a retirement corpus.

Consider increasing your voluntary contributions to maximize returns.

Review and Rebalance Portfolio

Regularly review your portfolio with a CFP. They can help you rebalance based on market conditions and your goals.

Ensure your portfolio remains diversified and aligned with your risk tolerance.

Debt Management

Focus on repaying your home loan. A lower outstanding loan will reduce financial stress.

Use part of your savings to make prepayments on the loan. This will save on interest and help you become debt-free sooner.

Education Planning for Children

Start a dedicated investment plan for your children's education. Consider child-specific mutual funds and systematic investment plans (SIPs).

Estimate future education costs and adjust your investments accordingly. Inflation will affect education expenses, so plan for higher costs.

Retirement Planning

Allocate a portion of your savings towards retirement. Consider equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Supplement your NPS and EPF with additional investments in mutual funds and stocks.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least six months' expenses. This will provide a safety net in case of unforeseen events.

Keep the emergency fund in a liquid instrument, like a savings account or liquid mutual fund, for easy access.

Tax Planning

Optimize your tax savings by investing in tax-saving instruments like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) mutual funds.

Ensure you utilize the benefits of 80C, 80D, and other tax-saving sections.

Future Income and Savings

With your ability to save an additional Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 60,000 per month, consider stepping up your investments annually.

A 5% step-up plan will significantly boost your corpus over the years.

Final Insights

Your financial plan is on the right track. You have a diversified portfolio and clear goals. However, optimizing your investments and increasing your contributions can help you achieve your targets faster. Focus on actively managed mutual funds and regular funds for better returns.

Review and rebalance your portfolio regularly with a CFP's help. Manage your debt effectively and maintain an emergency fund. With disciplined investing and strategic planning, you can achieve your financial goals and secure a bright future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 39 years old. I wish to build a retirement corpus where I can have 1.5 lakh p.m. post retirement and want to save for my child's marriage and higher studies (he is 9 years old right now). My monthly take home pay is 80k. Presently, my monthly investments are 10k in voluntary EPF, two 10K SIPs in two different small cap funds. Also, have a home loan pending for 4.5 lakh. My EPF a/c has a balnce of 31 lakh and MFs have grown to 12 Lakh. My wife also invest 20k p.m. in a index related fund. Please advise. Further, I would also like to know whether it is advisable to invest in NPS also?
Ans: Given your financial situation and goals, here's a suggested investment and savings plan:

Retirement Corpus:

Voluntary EPF: Continue investing in EPF as it offers tax benefits and a secure return. Aim to maximize your contribution to reach your retirement goal.
Mutual Funds: Maintain and diversify your SIPs across different categories like large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds to balance risk and potential returns.
NPS: Investing in NPS can be beneficial as it provides an additional avenue for retirement savings with tax benefits. Consider allocating a portion of your monthly investment to NPS for diversification and potential higher returns.
Child's Education and Marriage:

Child Education Fund: Start a separate SIP or invest in a diversified equity fund with a target maturity date aligned with your child's higher education.
Child Marriage Fund: Open a separate investment account or mutual fund SIP specifically for your child's marriage expenses.
Home Loan:

Home Loan Repayment: Continue paying the EMIs for the home loan to clear the debt as scheduled. Consider making partial prepayments whenever possible to reduce the interest burden.
Additional Investments:

Tax-saving Investments: Utilize tax-saving instruments like PPF, ELSS, and NPS to optimize tax savings and boost your investments.
Emergency Fund: Build an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of your living expenses for financial security.
Financial Planning:

Review and Adjust: Regularly review and adjust your investment plan based on changing financial goals, market conditions, and life circumstances.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting a financial advisor to create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your needs, goals, and risk tolerance.
Optimize Expenses:

Reduce Expenses: Identify and eliminate unnecessary expenses to free up more funds for investments.
Increase Savings: Gradually increase your monthly savings and investments to achieve your financial goals faster.
By following this investment and savings plan, you can work towards building a substantial retirement corpus, securing your child's future education and marriage expenses, and achieving your financial goals. Remember to stay disciplined, invest regularly, and consult a financial advisor to guide you through your financial journey.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 39 years old earning a monthly salary of 1.20 Lakhs. My investment as on date is PF of Rs. 18 Lakhs, Mutual funds Rs.19 Lakh and Shares of Rs. 8 Lakh. I have covered myself with endowment policy of Rs. 13 Lakhs. I also have a home loan of Rs.75 Lakhs and the repayment will start from Oct 2025. I have covered my life against the loan availed with a term insurance. It’s an under construction flat. Currently I am investing 40k in SIP and 5k in Vol PF. My daughter is 9 years old and in 5th standard. I have 21 years of service left. I am looking for a corpus of 1.5 to 3 crore in the next 5 years and also to close my loan in the next 15 years. At the age of 60 I must be debt free and earning monthly income of at least a Lakh. Please advice. My wife 33 years is also employed she is also earning Rs. 90k per month.
Ans: Crafting a Comprehensive Financial Plan
You've laid out some clear objectives for your financial future, and I'm here to help you navigate the path towards achieving them.

Current Financial Snapshot
Assets
You've made significant investments in PF, mutual funds, and shares, providing a solid foundation for wealth accumulation.

Liabilities
Your home loan presents a sizable debt, but with a structured plan, it can be managed effectively.

Retirement Planning
Corpus Target
Your goal of building a corpus of ?1.5 to ?3 crore in the next 5 years is ambitious yet attainable with disciplined saving and strategic investing.

Investment Strategy
Consider diversifying your investment portfolio further to optimize returns while managing risk effectively.

Loan Repayment Strategy
Loan Closure
Targeting to close your home loan in the next 15 years is a prudent approach to achieving debt-free status by age 60.

Accelerated Payments
Explore options to increase your EMI payments or make lump-sum prepayments whenever possible to reduce the loan tenure and interest burden.

Income Generation
Monthly Income Goal
Aiming for a monthly income of at least ?1 lakh by age 60 requires careful planning and investment in income-generating assets.

Dividend Income
Consider investing in dividend-paying stocks or mutual funds to supplement your income stream.

Education Planning
Daughter's Education
With 21 years of service left, prioritize investing in education funds or SIPs to secure your daughter's future educational needs.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage for yourself and your family to safeguard against unforeseen circumstances.

Collaborative Financial Management
Spousal Contribution
Leverage your wife's income to boost your joint savings and investment efforts, enhancing your financial security collectively.

Joint Planning
Work together to align your financial goals, investments, and savings strategies, maximizing efficiency and effectiveness.

Conclusion
With a well-crafted financial plan tailored to your aspirations and circumstances, you can confidently work towards achieving your goals of wealth accumulation, debt freedom, and financial security for yourself and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Money
Hello, I'm a 46 year old , unable to work anymore, I have no loans, own house,wife is the earning member. My investments are : Running investments: Pension Plan with fund value of 42 lakhs(current fund value) till 2037, Equity Mutual fund with fund value of 12 lakhs( Current fund value). Yearly investment emi of 1.20 lakh Monthly expenditure of 25 k Monthly rental income of 8k NO PPF Bank Balance of 26 lakh. Want to invest 10 -15 lakh to earn a sizeable corpus ( say 1 cr) in next 18 years for my child when he will become an adult, in addition to a 50 k monthly income in next 2-3 years Can you kindly guide me as to what investments I should be doing to achieve this target
Ans: You have provided valuable details about your financial situation. Let’s analyse your current standing and future goals.

Age: 46 years old
Running Investments:
Pension Plan with a current fund value of Rs 42 lakhs (maturing in 2037).
Equity Mutual Fund with a current fund value of Rs 12 lakhs.
Income & Expenditure:
Monthly rental income of Rs 8,000.
Monthly expenditure of Rs 25,000.
Yearly EMI of Rs 1.2 lakh for ongoing investments.
Savings: Bank balance of Rs 26 lakhs.
Investment Goals:
You want to invest Rs 10-15 lakh to build a corpus of Rs 1 crore in 18 years for your child.
You also need a monthly income of Rs 50,000 in the next 2-3 years.
Given these goals, let’s discuss how you can achieve them.

Income Generation for Monthly Needs (Rs 50,000)
To achieve a monthly income of Rs 50,000 in the next 2-3 years, we need to explore investment options that can generate consistent returns.

Rental Income: You already have Rs 8,000 coming in monthly. This helps reduce your income requirement.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

A Systematic Withdrawal Plan from your mutual funds could be useful.
You can park part of your Rs 26 lakh bank balance into a debt-oriented hybrid mutual fund.
These funds provide stability with moderate returns.
You can withdraw monthly amounts through SWP to meet your requirement.
Based on the fund's performance, you can plan to withdraw around Rs 42,000 per month to reach your target of Rs 50,000 (including Rs 8,000 from rent).
This option allows you to use your capital effectively while keeping it invested for moderate growth.

Fixed Income Options:

You may also consider some amount in fixed deposits or high-interest-bearing savings instruments.
However, they are taxed as per your income tax slab, so this may reduce post-tax returns.
Combining these with SWP ensures liquidity and some level of fixed returns.
This way, your immediate income needs can be met, keeping your capital intact.

Investment Plan for Building Rs 1 Crore for Child's Future
You aim to build Rs 1 crore in 18 years for your child. The best way to achieve this is through equity-based investments, as they tend to offer the highest long-term growth.

Equity Mutual Funds:

For long-term goals like 18 years, equity mutual funds are the most suitable.
Your existing equity mutual funds of Rs 12 lakh can continue to grow.
You can also invest Rs 10-15 lakh from your bank balance into diversified equity funds.
Actively managed equity mutual funds generally perform better over a long period compared to passive index funds, which often lack flexibility in changing market conditions.
It’s crucial to focus on mid-cap and small-cap funds as they have higher growth potential over an 18-year period.
Regular vs Direct Funds:

You might have heard about direct mutual funds, which have lower fees.
However, direct plans require deep market understanding and regular monitoring.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who works with an MFD can help you manage your portfolio professionally, ensuring that your investments are regularly rebalanced to match market changes.
Regular plans, managed by CFPs, provide professional guidance, making them a better choice for individuals who do not want the stress of tracking every detail.
SIP for Consistent Growth:

You can start a SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) of Rs 50,000 monthly.
This amount will steadily build wealth over 18 years.
By investing Rs 50,000 a month in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds, you stand a good chance of achieving your target of Rs 1 crore.
A professional MFD working with a CFP can help you select funds based on your risk profile and growth expectations.
Review of Existing Pension Plan
Your pension plan with a current fund value of Rs 42 lakhs is a significant part of your retirement portfolio.

Performance Review:
It is crucial to review the performance of this pension plan periodically.
Ensure that it continues to give reasonable returns, as you have 13 more years until it matures.
Often, these plans have high charges and lower returns compared to equity mutual funds. You should evaluate if it makes sense to continue with this investment or switch to something more productive.
If the returns are lower than expected, you may want to consider redirecting future premiums into better-performing mutual funds.
Tax Implications on Your Investments
Understanding tax liabilities is essential for maximising your returns.

Capital Gains Tax on Mutual Funds:

For equity mutual funds, LTCG (Long-Term Capital Gains) above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) on equity mutual funds are taxed at 20%.
For debt mutual funds, LTCG and STCG are taxed according to your income tax slab.
You should consult with your CFP to ensure that your withdrawals and investments are done in the most tax-efficient manner.
Tax on Rental Income:

The Rs 8,000 monthly rental income is also taxable.
Ensure you factor this into your annual tax planning.
By optimising tax strategies, you can maximise your returns while keeping your liabilities low.

Contingency and Emergency Fund
While investing for long-term goals, don’t overlook short-term financial safety.

Emergency Fund:
Out of your Rs 26 lakh bank balance, set aside at least Rs 4-5 lakh as an emergency fund.
This will help you manage any unforeseen expenses without disturbing your investments.
Keep this amount in a liquid or short-term debt fund for easy access.
Health Insurance:
Since your wife is the sole earning member now, ensure that you have adequate health insurance coverage.
This will help safeguard your family’s finances in case of medical emergencies.
Revisit Your Financial Plan Regularly
It is essential to track your financial journey.

Review Performance:

Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds and pension plans.
Make adjustments based on market conditions and your changing life circumstances.
Stay on Track with Goals:

Ensure that you are consistently investing towards your Rs 1 crore goal.
Keep in touch with your CFP to monitor if you’re on track, and take corrective actions if required.
By actively managing your investments and reviewing your goals, you can ensure financial security for your family.

Finally
Your situation is unique, and your goals are achievable with a disciplined approach.

By combining equity mutual funds, SWPs, and systematic SIPs, you can grow your wealth and generate regular income. Balancing risk and return is essential to meet your child’s future needs and your immediate income requirements.

Keep your financial plan flexible, review it often, and stay committed to your goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |417 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Sep 17, 2025

Money
I am 46 Years old, and I have 2 Children, studying in class 9 and class 5 in NOIDA. My Annual Income is 51 LPA, I have a Mutual Fund portfolio of 60 Lacs, and I invest around close to 30 K per month through SIPs. This mutual portfolio is generated over 15 years, with disciplined SIP investments, and I have invested around 5 lacs through Lump sum payments for my Children’s Education in F.Y 2024-25. I will stay invested through SIP for the next 10 to 12 years. I have not invested in FDs. I have a Medical Insurance for my family and 2 Kids for around 10 Lacs. I have 50 Lacs in my PF account as I am working now and will continue working for another 10 years. I have a Pension Insurance Plan with a Current Corpus of 5 Lacs where I’ll stay invested for another 10 years I had bought 2 houses in Chennai, where I have closed the Home Loan for one of the Houses and the Loan for the 2nd house is currently on with an outstanding of 13 Lacs, where the Home Loan will close by November 2029. I have a car loan of 12 Lacs which will end by 2029, where i am paying a monthly EMI of Rs 24,000. I am paying a Monthly rent of 40 K. Need your Kind advice, what should the sizable corpus I should have for retirement and for Kids education which is 5 years from Now. I will retire after 10 years from now. I have 30 Lacs in savings account, I also need your advice, where do I invest these funds, so that these ideal funds could grow for another 10 years. Thank You for your Kind advice.
Ans: Hi Gaurav,

Your overall savings and investments look quite good, but they are too scattered for someone to manage. Investments should be simple.
- As you said your kids are in class 9 & 5, you will require a huge amount for their higher studies after 4 and 8 years respectively. There is no provision for that except the 5 lakhs you contributed last year. Immediately start some SIP for their education fund so that you don't need to touch your retirement savings.
- Medical Insurance of 10 lakhs for a family of 4 is too less. Either increase the total cover or choose a super top-up policy of 50 lakhs to 1 crore at the day of your insurance renewal.
- Since you are the sole earning member, I cannot see any life insurance in case something happens to you. You should take a life insurance policy of atleast 1.5 crores to safeguard your family in case of any uncertainty.
- The 2 houses - are they for rental income? I do not see any purpose of having a home loan when you are paying a huge rent of 40,000 per month. Try to eliminate either emi or this rent to increase your savings ratio per month. It will help in creating a corpus for your children's education.
- With a monthly income of more than 3 lakhs, your overall investments are too low. It should be atleast 30% of your take home i.e. atleast 1 lakhs.
- You should keep aside 10 lakhs of your savings fund in liquid funds as emergency fund because there isn't any. It will tc of your expenses in situation like sudden job loss.
- Invest the rest 20 lakhs into hybrid mutual funds.
- If you continue investing 30,000 monthly into your SIP portfolio, you will have approx 2.5 to 3 crores with you after 12 years.
This amount and your PF corpus alone are not sufficient to cater to your retirement needs as your expense to savings ratio is quite high. These will cover only about 20 years of your expenses post retirement.
- Once your mutual fund portfolio crosses 10 lakhs, you should actually consult a professional advisor as fund selection should be in alignment with your goals and risk appetite.
Hence, my last suggestion would be to consult a Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, goals and risk profile.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

..Read more

Purshotam

Purshotam Lal  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2025Hindi
Money
I'm 39 years old. I've two kids(Elder son & younger daughter), 11yrs and 8yrs. My yearly take home salary is 24lacs. I've a home loan of 26k EMI and still 24.5lacs pending. Current property value is 70lacs. I'm getting rent of 12k from it. I have another property loan (Commercial building loan), EMI of 44lacs pending with EMI of 52.5k. I'm getting rental income of Rs 60k from this. Apart from this I have 10lacs local loan, for which I'm paying 27k everymonth. This local 10lac loan will be over in another 2yrs. I've just started a SIP few months ago for 16k (8k in ICICI thematic FOF & 8k in ICICI multi asset). I'm planning to start another SIP for 19k every month. I plan to afford 20lacs max for each kid for thier education. Also I guess I may need 75lacs for my daughters wedding and 25lacs for my son's wedding. I wish to retire at the age of 50. I also have Term insurance for 1.5crores. Can you please tell whether the SIP of 35k is enough or do I need to invest more every month?. Also can you please suggest category of fund which I have to invest based upon my need and time of requirement. I also have PF balance of around 16lacs and I contribute around 20k everymonth (EePF+ErPF). I have NPS for 5000/- pension.
Ans: As per the given information, per month available fund for investment is estimated to be Rs 42000 approx., considering household expenses of 40% (Rs 1.088 L) of your gross monthly earnings. Further the marriage cost may rise @ 8% inflation to Rs 277.50 L after 17 Years for daughter and Rs 73.43L for your son after 14 years. Since you wish to retire by age 50, your investments will stop at that age. To provide for that monthly Equity MF SIP of Rs 66K shall be required and 50K Equity MF SIP for Education is required for your daughter & son till your age 50. You currently has an MF SIP of 16K, which is much short of the target per month investment. Your PF balance is likely to accumulate at current interest rate of 8.25% pa with monthly contribution of 20K, to Rs 81 Lakh. Which is also too less for your comfortable retirement. Available options are to think of retirement age of 58 Years and also reduce your monthly household expenses, reduce provision for child marriages and also to increase monthly SIP every year by say 10% as your income rises. It is also suggested to take a good family floater health insurance policy. Good Luck.

Purshotam, CFP®, MBA, CAIIB, FIII
Certified Financial Planner
Insurance advisor
www.finphoenixinvest.com

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
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I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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