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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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I am 39 years old earning a monthly salary of 1.20 Lakhs. My investment as on date is PF of Rs. 18 Lakhs, Mutual funds Rs.19 Lakh and Shares of Rs. 8 Lakh. I have covered myself with endowment policy of Rs. 13 Lakhs. I also have a home loan of Rs.75 Lakhs and the repayment will start from Oct 2025. I have covered my life against the loan availed with a term insurance. It’s an under construction flat. Currently I am investing 40k in SIP and 5k in Vol PF. My daughter is 9 years old and in 5th standard. I have 21 years of service left. I am looking for a corpus of 1.5 to 3 crore in the next 5 years and also to close my loan in the next 15 years. At the age of 60 I must be debt free and earning monthly income of at least a Lakh. Please advice. My wife 33 years is also employed she is also earning Rs. 90k per month.

Ans: Crafting a Comprehensive Financial Plan
You've laid out some clear objectives for your financial future, and I'm here to help you navigate the path towards achieving them.

Current Financial Snapshot
Assets
You've made significant investments in PF, mutual funds, and shares, providing a solid foundation for wealth accumulation.

Liabilities
Your home loan presents a sizable debt, but with a structured plan, it can be managed effectively.

Retirement Planning
Corpus Target
Your goal of building a corpus of ?1.5 to ?3 crore in the next 5 years is ambitious yet attainable with disciplined saving and strategic investing.

Investment Strategy
Consider diversifying your investment portfolio further to optimize returns while managing risk effectively.

Loan Repayment Strategy
Loan Closure
Targeting to close your home loan in the next 15 years is a prudent approach to achieving debt-free status by age 60.

Accelerated Payments
Explore options to increase your EMI payments or make lump-sum prepayments whenever possible to reduce the loan tenure and interest burden.

Income Generation
Monthly Income Goal
Aiming for a monthly income of at least ?1 lakh by age 60 requires careful planning and investment in income-generating assets.

Dividend Income
Consider investing in dividend-paying stocks or mutual funds to supplement your income stream.

Education Planning
Daughter's Education
With 21 years of service left, prioritize investing in education funds or SIPs to secure your daughter's future educational needs.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage for yourself and your family to safeguard against unforeseen circumstances.

Collaborative Financial Management
Spousal Contribution
Leverage your wife's income to boost your joint savings and investment efforts, enhancing your financial security collectively.

Joint Planning
Work together to align your financial goals, investments, and savings strategies, maximizing efficiency and effectiveness.

Conclusion
With a well-crafted financial plan tailored to your aspirations and circumstances, you can confidently work towards achieving your goals of wealth accumulation, debt freedom, and financial security for yourself and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi am 35 years ,with income of 1.5lak per month..I have 15lak in shares , 7 lak in mutual fund as sip invested 3 to 4 thousand in each fund ( regular and index funds) ,7lak in gold bond , 16lak in gold, LIFE INSURANCE -pli of 20lak ( 6.7k /month) , ICICI PRUDENTIAL (1LAK/ YEAR), TATA AIA (4k/month), NPS 2lak( monthly 18k ),9lak in monthly income scheme which gets 5550 investing that into my daughter sukanya samruddhi yogana,FD of 5lak .....I need a corpus of 4 to 5 crore in next 10year ...I have monthly expenses of 20 to 30k please guide me
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Goals
Introduction
You have a strong income and diversified investments. Achieving a corpus of ?4-5 crore in 10 years is ambitious but feasible with strategic adjustments.

Current Investments
Shares: ?15 lakh
Mutual Funds (SIP): ?7 lakh
Gold Bonds: ?7 lakh
Physical Gold: ?16 lakh
Life Insurance (PLI): ?20 lakh (?6.7k/month)
ICICI Prudential: ?1 lakh/year
Tata AIA: ?4k/month
NPS: ?2 lakh (?18k/month)
Monthly Income Scheme: ?9 lakh (?5550/month reinvested in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana)
Fixed Deposit: ?5 lakh
Monthly Expenses and Income
Monthly Income: ?1.5 lakh
Monthly Expenses: ?20-30k
Investment Strategy
Surrender Unnecessary Insurance Policies

Insurance policies like PLI, ICICI Prudential, and Tata AIA may not yield high returns. Consider surrendering these and redirecting the funds to higher-yield investments.

Enhance Mutual Fund Investments

Regular and index funds are a good start. Actively managed mutual funds can offer higher returns than index funds. Focus on diversifying across equity and debt funds.

Increase SIP Contributions

Increase your SIP investments gradually. Start with an additional 10-15% increase and review every 6 months.

Maximise NPS Contributions

NPS offers good returns and tax benefits. Continue the ?18k/month contribution and increase if possible.

Reinvesting Surrendered Insurance Funds
Mutual Funds

Redirect funds from surrendered insurance policies to mutual funds. Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Equity Investments

With ?15 lakh already in shares, consider blue-chip stocks for stability and growth. Diversify across different sectors.

Debt Investments

Maintain a portion of your portfolio in debt instruments for stability. Consider debt mutual funds or fixed deposits.

Monitoring and Rebalancing Portfolio
Regular Reviews

Review your portfolio quarterly. Ensure your investments align with your risk tolerance and goals.

Adjust Allocations

Adjust your allocations based on market conditions. Increase exposure to equities in a growing market and shift to debt in volatile times.

Planning for Corpus Growth
Targeted Growth Rate

Aim for a balanced portfolio with an average return of 10-12% annually. Equity investments should drive growth, while debt instruments provide stability.

Reinvestment of Returns

Reinvest all returns and dividends. Compounding will significantly boost your corpus over time.

Achieving Your Goal
Projected Corpus

With disciplined investing and strategic adjustments, reaching ?4-5 crore is achievable. Utilize the power of compounding and regular contributions.

Avoid Real Estate

Real estate may not provide liquidity and returns comparable to equities and mutual funds. Focus on market-linked instruments.

Final Recommendations
Consult a CFP

Regular consultations with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) will help fine-tune your strategy and keep you on track.

Stay Disciplined

Maintain your investment discipline. Avoid impulsive decisions based on market fluctuations.

Conclusion
Your financial foundation is strong, and with strategic adjustments, your goal of ?4-5 crore in 10 years is achievable. Focus on high-yield investments, regular reviews, and disciplined investing.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 28 years old living alone and earning 33 thousand per month and my total expenses are 15000 thousand a month that includes my personal expenses, house maintenance, bills, S.I.P etc. I am roughly able to save 18000 thousand a month. I live in my parents gifted house, have no on going loans, 80,000 is invested in equity market and 1,30,000 is invested in together total 4 equity and 1 hybrid mutual funds with a SIP of 1500 in ICICI value discovery fund. I have a health insurance of 2 Lakh rupees, 3 Lakhs in fixed deposit, 50,000 in postal scheme and 1,50,000 in savings. I wish to building a maximum corpus in next 20 years. Kindly advise on the same Thank you
Ans: First of all, congratulations on being financially disciplined at the age of 28. Your ability to save a significant portion of your income is commendable. Let’s delve into your financial situation and explore ways to maximise your corpus over the next 20 years.

Current Financial Overview
You are earning Rs 33,000 per month and spending Rs 15,000, allowing you to save Rs 18,000 monthly. You have a diversified portfolio including equity investments, mutual funds, fixed deposits, postal schemes, and savings. Additionally, you have health insurance and live in a debt-free house. These are excellent foundations for building wealth.

Emergency Fund and Insurance Coverage
An emergency fund is crucial. You have Rs 1.5 lakhs in savings and Rs 3 lakhs in fixed deposits, which is a good start. Aim to maintain an emergency fund that covers at least six months of your expenses. This ensures you have a safety net in case of unexpected events.

Health insurance is another critical aspect. You currently have a coverage of Rs 2 lakhs. Considering rising medical costs, it is advisable to enhance your health insurance to at least Rs 5 lakhs. This additional coverage can provide better protection against unforeseen medical expenses.

Investment Portfolio Analysis
Equity Market Investments:

You have Rs 80,000 invested in the equity market. Equity investments can provide significant returns over the long term but come with higher risk. Regularly monitor your investments and ensure they align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Mutual Funds:

You have Rs 1,30,000 invested in a mix of four equity mutual funds and one hybrid mutual fund, with a SIP of Rs 1,500 in the ICICI Value Discovery Fund. Diversifying across different types of funds can reduce risk. However, actively managed funds often outperform passive index funds due to professional management and market expertise.

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to review the performance of your mutual funds and make adjustments if necessary. Regularly rebalancing your portfolio ensures it remains aligned with your financial goals and market conditions.

Fixed Deposits and Postal Schemes:

You have Rs 3 lakhs in fixed deposits and Rs 50,000 in a postal scheme. While these provide safety and assured returns, their growth potential is limited. Given your long-term horizon, you might want to shift a portion of these funds into higher-growth investment options such as equity mutual funds.

Maximising Savings and Investments
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Your current SIP of Rs 1,500 in the ICICI Value Discovery Fund is a good start. SIPs help in averaging the cost of investments and mitigate market volatility. Increasing your SIP amount can significantly enhance your corpus over time. Given your ability to save Rs 18,000 monthly, consider allocating a larger portion to SIPs in various mutual funds.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds:

Direct funds might seem appealing due to lower expense ratios, but they require constant monitoring and expertise. Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner, provide professional guidance, periodic reviews, and rebalancing of your portfolio. This can lead to better-informed decisions and potentially higher returns.

Diversification and Risk Management
Asset Allocation:

A balanced asset allocation strategy can help manage risk and optimise returns. Consider spreading your investments across different asset classes such as equities, debt, and gold. This diversification can protect your portfolio from market fluctuations.

Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it stays aligned with your goals. Rebalancing involves adjusting the weightage of different asset classes based on their performance and your risk tolerance. This practice helps maintain the desired risk-reward balance.

Retirement Planning
Starting Early:

Starting your retirement planning early gives you a significant advantage due to the power of compounding. With a 20-year investment horizon, even small, regular contributions can grow substantially. Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds tailored to your risk profile and retirement goals.

Retirement Corpus Estimation:

Estimate your retirement corpus based on your future financial needs, considering factors like inflation and lifestyle changes. Use retirement planning tools or consult a Certified Financial Planner to determine the amount required and devise a strategy to achieve it.

Tax Planning
Utilising Tax Benefits:

Utilise tax-saving investment options under Section 80C, such as Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS), Public Provident Fund (PPF), and National Savings Certificate (NSC). These not only help in tax saving but also provide good returns over the long term.

Efficient Tax Management:

Efficient tax planning involves strategically investing in tax-saving instruments and ensuring optimal use of available deductions. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your tax planning strategies can enhance your post-tax returns.

Long-Term Investment Strategies
Compounding Power:

Leverage the power of compounding by staying invested for the long term. Compounding can significantly boost your returns, especially when you reinvest the earnings from your investments. The longer your investment horizon, the more you benefit from compounding.

Avoid Timing the Market:

Market timing is challenging and often leads to suboptimal returns. Focus on a disciplined investment approach rather than trying to predict market movements. Regular investments through SIPs and staying invested through market cycles can yield better results.

Financial Discipline and Monitoring
Staying Committed:

Financial discipline is crucial for achieving your goals. Stick to your savings and investment plan, and avoid unnecessary expenses. Regularly track your progress and make adjustments as needed.

Periodic Reviews:

Conduct periodic reviews of your financial plan to ensure it remains relevant and effective. Life events and market conditions can impact your financial situation, so it’s essential to adapt your plan accordingly.

Final Insights
Building a significant corpus over the next 20 years requires a disciplined approach, strategic planning, and regular monitoring. Your current financial habits are commendable, and with some adjustments, you can further enhance your investment portfolio.

Consider increasing your SIP contributions, diversifying your investments, and enhancing your health insurance coverage. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals. Efficient tax planning and leveraging the power of compounding will also play a crucial role in achieving your financial objectives.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide professional guidance and help optimise your investment strategy. Stay committed to your financial plan, and you’ll be well on your way to building a substantial corpus for your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 years , married with 2 years old child, planning for retirement, education and marriage of child.. i have 12 l in FD, 21 l in lumpsum mutual fund, SIP for a year totalling 17000 per month, total assets worth 3 crores.. health insurance worth 1 crore. 3 term plans being paid for and active.. and i make 1.5 lakhs give or take a month.. .. i have started contributing to ssy account and have a education policy in aditya birla too worth around 8 lakhs at the time of maturity .. i have one pension fund being paid for 58000 per year for 15 years, already paid for 10 years... I need a corpus of 5 to 7crores within next 25 years.. am i doing enough? I have no loans or liabilities
Ans: You're on a solid path with your financial planning. Let's assess and refine your strategy to achieve your goals.

Review Current Investments

Your FD of Rs 12 lakhs and lump sum mutual funds of Rs 21 lakhs are good. Your SIP of Rs 17,000 per month shows discipline.

Consider Increasing SIP Amounts

Increasing your SIP amounts gradually can help you reach your corpus goal faster. This can leverage the power of compounding.

Allocate Funds for Retirement

Your goal of 5 to 7 crores in 25 years is achievable. Continue investing in diversified equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Child's Education and Marriage

Your SSY contributions are a smart move. Consider child-specific mutual funds for additional growth.

Evaluate Your Pension Fund

Your pension fund contribution of Rs 58,000 per year is good. Ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Health and Term Insurance

Your health insurance worth Rs 1 crore and three term plans provide good coverage. Maintain these for family security.

Regularly Review and Adjust

Review your portfolio annually. Adjust based on market conditions and personal financial changes.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can help optimize your investment strategy. They can provide tailored advice for reaching your financial goals.

Stay Focused and Disciplined

Consistent investing and disciplined saving are key. Stay focused on your long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 44 with monthly income of 1.9 L per month. My current portfolio is Mutual Fund - 5 L { SIP - Rs 15000 per Month } Equity - 3 L PF - 12 L FD - 6 L NPS / PPF - 2 L Sukanya - 2 L Old Insurance policies & Ulip - Around 5 L Medical Insurance covered for family Home Loan pending - 38 L { EMI of 53000 per month } I am planning to retire by 55 and looking for a corpus of 4 Cr. Please suggest how do i proceed?
Ans: You are 44 years old with a stable income of Rs. 1.9 lakh per month. Your portfolio consists of:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 5 lakh, with a SIP of Rs. 15,000 per month.

Equity: Rs. 3 lakh in direct equity.

Provident Fund: Rs. 12 lakh, offering steady, risk-free growth.

Fixed Deposit: Rs. 6 lakh, providing secure, low-risk returns.

NPS/PPF: Rs. 2 lakh in these long-term retirement-focused instruments.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Rs. 2 lakh, a good plan for your daughter’s future.

Old Insurance Policies & ULIPs: Around Rs. 5 lakh, combining insurance and investment.

Medical Insurance: Adequate coverage for your family.

Home Loan: Rs. 38 lakh pending, with an EMI of Rs. 53,000 per month.

You aim to retire by age 55, with a target retirement corpus of Rs. 4 crore. This is an ambitious yet achievable goal with disciplined planning.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your portfolio is diversified across various asset classes. Here’s a brief assessment:

Mutual Funds: You have Rs. 5 lakh invested, with a SIP of Rs. 15,000 per month. This is a solid start, but you’ll need to increase your SIP over time to reach your goal.

Equity: Rs. 3 lakh in direct equity offers growth potential. However, direct equity requires active management and carries higher risk. Consider whether you have the time and expertise to manage this actively.

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 12 lakh in PF provides a safe and steady return. It’s a good foundation for your retirement planning, but it alone won’t suffice to reach your Rs. 4 crore target.

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 6 lakh in FD is low-risk but offers limited growth. This is useful for emergencies or short-term needs, but it won’t help much in wealth accumulation.

NPS/PPF: Rs. 2 lakh here is beneficial for long-term tax-efficient growth. Continue contributing to these, as they will form part of your retirement corpus.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Rs. 2 lakh is a smart investment for your daughter’s education and marriage expenses. This is a long-term, tax-free investment, which is beneficial.

Old Insurance Policies & ULIPs: Rs. 5 lakh here may not be optimally allocated. ULIPs often have high costs and suboptimal returns compared to mutual funds. These should be reviewed and possibly restructured.

Medical Insurance: You’ve ensured coverage for your family, which is essential. This helps safeguard your financial planning from unexpected medical expenses.

Home Loan: Rs. 38 lakh pending with an EMI of Rs. 53,000 per month is a significant commitment. This is manageable given your income but impacts your monthly cash flow. Paying this off before retirement would ease financial pressure.

Steps to Reach Your Rs. 4 Crore Retirement Corpus
To achieve a retirement corpus of Rs. 4 crore by age 55, a structured approach is necessary. Let’s break it down:

1. Increase Your SIP Contributions
Current Situation: You invest Rs. 15,000 per month in SIPs. While this is good, it’s not enough to reach your Rs. 4 crore goal.

Recommended Action: Gradually increase your SIP contributions. Aim to increase by at least 10-15% every year. As your income grows, channel a portion of the increments into your SIPs. This helps in capitalizing on the power of compounding.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds are preferable over index funds due to their potential for higher returns. Work with an MFD with CFP credentials to choose the best funds.

2. Review and Restructure Old Insurance Policies & ULIPs
Current Situation: You have Rs. 5 lakh in old insurance policies and ULIPs. These may not be the most efficient investments for wealth creation.

Recommended Action: Review these policies with your Certified Financial Planner. If they are underperforming or carrying high costs, consider surrendering them and reallocating the funds to mutual funds. This will give you better returns in the long run.

Shift Focus to Term Insurance: If you don’t have term insurance, consider getting it. Term insurance offers high coverage at a low cost, ensuring your family’s financial security without mixing insurance and investment.

3. Maximize Contributions to PPF and NPS
Current Situation: You have Rs. 2 lakh in PPF and NPS combined. These are long-term, tax-efficient investment vehicles.

Recommended Action: Maximize your contributions to PPF each year. It’s a risk-free, tax-free option with a decent return. NPS is also beneficial, especially for its tax advantages. Consider increasing your NPS contributions, especially if your employer offers matching contributions.

Diversify Within NPS: Choose an asset allocation within NPS that aligns with your risk tolerance. A mix of equity and debt within NPS can provide balanced growth and safety.

4. Pay Down Your Home Loan Strategically
Current Situation: You have Rs. 38 lakh left on your home loan, with a hefty EMI of Rs. 53,000 per month.

Recommended Action: Paying off your home loan before retirement should be a priority. You don’t want a large liability hanging over your head post-retirement. Consider making additional payments towards the principal whenever possible. This will reduce the loan tenure and the interest paid over time.

Balance Between Investment and Loan Repayment: While it’s important to pay down your loan, don’t compromise on your investments. Find a balance where you can continue to grow your wealth while reducing debt.

5. Emergency Fund and FD Utilization
Current Situation: You have Rs. 6 lakh in FD, which is good for emergencies.

Recommended Action: Keep at least 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in your FD as an emergency fund. If you have excess funds beyond this, consider moving them to higher-yield investments, such as mutual funds or PPF, which offer better growth prospects.

Liquidity Needs: Ensure your emergency fund is easily accessible. Don’t tie up all your savings in long-term investments without having liquid reserves.

6. Direct Equity and Risk Management
Current Situation: You have Rs. 3 lakh in direct equity. This carries higher risk and requires active management.

Recommended Action: Evaluate your equity portfolio with your Certified Financial Planner. Ensure your stock picks align with your risk tolerance and retirement goals. If managing direct equity is overwhelming, consider shifting some of these funds to mutual funds, where professional managers can handle your investments.

Diversification: Avoid over-concentration in any one sector or stock. Diversify your holdings to reduce risk.

7. Consider Additional Retirement Vehicles
Current Situation: Your retirement savings are spread across various instruments.

Recommended Action: Explore additional retirement vehicles such as Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF) or Senior Citizens Savings Scheme (SCSS) when you approach 55. These provide secure, government-backed options for retirement savings.

Don’t Rely Solely on One Source: Ensure your retirement corpus is spread across multiple sources to reduce risk and provide flexibility.

8. Regular Portfolio Review and Rebalancing
Current Situation: Your portfolio needs to be regularly monitored to stay aligned with your goals.

Recommended Action: Schedule regular reviews with your Certified Financial Planner. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and your evolving financial situation. As you approach retirement, gradually shift from high-risk to lower-risk investments to preserve your capital.

Stay Disciplined: Avoid making emotional decisions based on short-term market fluctuations. Stick to your long-term plan, and make adjustments only when necessary.

9. Estate Planning and Will Creation
Current Situation: While your focus is on retirement, it’s also essential to think about estate planning.

Recommended Action: Create a will to ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes. This will prevent legal complications for your family later. Consider discussing with your Certified Financial Planner the need for a trust if your estate is substantial.

Nomination Updates: Ensure all your investments, insurance policies, and retirement accounts have updated nominations. This simplifies the process for your beneficiaries.

Finally
Your goal of a Rs. 4 crore retirement corpus by age 55 is achievable. It requires a disciplined approach, increasing your SIP contributions, optimizing your existing portfolio, and paying down debt. Work closely with your Certified Financial Planner to ensure your investments align with your goals. Regular reviews and adjustments will keep you on track towards a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi i am 43 yrs old, working in a multination firm. Married with a kid who is 7. My relationship with my wife is not going good for some time now, the communication is only transactional. I dont know if she is seeing someone or not, but we feel detached from each other. Now i have developed some feelings at my work with a 24 yr old women, also she seems to be interested in me. But she is also trying to get back to her BF who is studying overseas. I am a bit lost here cause i am toyaly confused on wat to do?
Ans: Open communication with your wife can be incredibly valuable, even if it feels awkward or difficult. Sharing your feelings of detachment and asking her how she feels might provide clarity about where you both stand and whether there’s a willingness to work on rebuilding the connection. Counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be a safe space to explore these issues further.

Regarding your feelings for the woman at work, it’s essential to approach this with caution. While the connection might feel exciting and fulfilling, it’s important to ask yourself whether pursuing it is truly in alignment with your values and long-term goals. She also appears to have unresolved feelings toward her boyfriend, which adds another layer of complexity. Relationships born from a place of emotional vulnerability often carry risks, and it’s worth reflecting on whether this is about genuine compatibility or an escape from current challenges.

Your child is also a significant factor to consider. Decisions about your personal relationships inevitably affect your family dynamics, and it’s worth reflecting on what stability and clarity mean for them at this stage in their life.

Take some time to focus on self-reflection. What do you truly want for yourself, your marriage, and your future? What steps can you take to address the current disconnection, whether through repair or a mutual decision to move forward separately? Acting from a place of clarity and integrity will help you feel more grounded and less conflicted about your path forward. You deserve fulfillment, but ensuring that it’s built on a foundation of honesty and thoughtfulness will bring lasting peace, not just temporary relief.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I’ve been holding onto a grudge against a friend who hurt me years ago. While I’ve tried to move on, the memories keep coming back, and I feel like it’s stopping me from fully trusting others. How can I let go of this resentment and stop it from affecting my present relationships?
Ans: Letting go of resentment begins with understanding that it’s not about forgetting what happened or excusing the other person’s actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the grip that pain has on your emotions and your ability to trust. Start by creating space to process the hurt. Reflect on what exactly about the situation caused the deepest wound—was it a betrayal, unmet expectations, or feeling disregarded? Sometimes clarity about the source of the pain makes it easier to start releasing it.

You might also want to examine the story you’ve been telling yourself about this hurt. Often, we replay painful memories as if to protect ourselves from being hurt again, but in doing so, we allow the past to shape how we approach the present. Try reframing the narrative, focusing not on what you lost but on how you’ve grown. You’ve survived this hurt, and it’s a testament to your resilience.

Forgiveness can also play a key role, not necessarily as an act for the other person, but as a gift to yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean rekindling the friendship or even directly addressing the person—it’s a way of releasing the hold they have on your emotions. You can write a letter to your friend expressing all your feelings and then decide whether to send it or simply let it be a personal act of closure.

When it comes to trusting others, remind yourself that the actions of one person don’t define everyone. Trust grows in small, consistent steps. Start by recognizing the people in your life now who have shown care and consistency, and allow yourself to open up gradually.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and memories might still surface from time to time. When they do, instead of resisting them, acknowledge them and remind yourself that they no longer have power over you. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, lighter and more open to the connections that await you. You deserve the freedom to trust and to live fully in the present.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
I am in my late 60s but still very fit and healthy whereas my wife has lost all the interest in physical intimacy. This has resulted me finding outlet outside my marriage in women half of my age. My girlfriend is a dentist and I am an epidemiologist. She insists that I leave my wife and move with her and eventually we would marry then. She thinks that there is no point in living in a relationship where we have lost interest in each other and are hardly getting physically intimate. Would appreciate your expert advice on this and whether I should continue this way or leave my wife for over 45 years and move with my girlfriend who is 25 years younger than me. We both love each other physically, mentally and intellectually. Thank you.
Ans: After 45 years of marriage, your relationship with your wife is likely built on more than just physical intimacy. A bond of that length often includes shared history, companionship, and mutual support. It’s understandable that the absence of physical intimacy can leave you feeling unfulfilled, but it’s also important to recognize that intimacy in a long-term marriage often evolves beyond physicality into emotional connection and companionship. Ask yourself what your marriage still brings to your life beyond the physical. Are there aspects of your relationship with your wife that you still value and cherish?

Your relationship with your girlfriend seems to fulfill needs that are unmet in your marriage—passion, intellectual connection, and emotional closeness. It’s natural to feel drawn to that, especially when you both feel aligned in multiple dimensions. However, leaving a marriage of such longevity and depth is a monumental decision, not just for you but also for your wife, family, and even your girlfriend. It's important to reflect on the potential consequences of this choice—not just how it could impact your own life, but the ripple effects it may have on others involved.

Before making a decision, consider engaging in open, honest communication with your wife. Share your feelings—not as blame but as a vulnerable expression of what you’re experiencing. Sometimes, long-standing relationships fall into patterns of distance because both partners have stopped discussing their needs openly. If she is willing, exploring counseling together could help both of you understand where you stand and whether there’s a path to rekindling connection, even if it’s not physical intimacy.

With your girlfriend, reflect on what she means to you and what you envision for a shared future. Love and compatibility are powerful forces, but they must be weighed against the potential impact of disrupting your current life. Ensure that this relationship is based on mutual respect and shared values beyond just passion, as relationships outside of marriage can sometimes magnify only the fulfilling aspects while masking potential challenges.

Ultimately, this is about what aligns with your deeper sense of self and integrity. Consider what will allow you to look back on this chapter of your life with peace and not regret. Balancing personal happiness with respect for the commitments you’ve made over the years is not easy, but taking the time to reflect deeply will help you arrive at a decision you can stand by. Whatever choice you make, do so with honesty, compassion, and a clear understanding of its implications.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I face rejection or criticism, I take it very personally and find it hard to bounce back. It affects not just my relationships but also my career. How can I fix this? And trust people who really mean well?
Ans: When we take rejection or criticism personally, it’s often because we tie our self-worth to external validation. Someone’s approval or opinion can start to feel like a measure of who we are, but it’s not. No one moment, person, or comment defines you. Start by reminding yourself that rejection or criticism, as painful as it may be, is not a reflection of your entire being—it’s just one perspective or one moment in time.

Learning to trust people who mean well begins with trusting yourself. When you believe in your own worth, you’ll find it easier to separate genuine feedback from unkind criticism. Practice asking yourself, “Is this coming from someone who truly cares about me, or is this more about their perspective or mood?” When feedback feels harsh, take a step back and evaluate its intent and validity. Not all criticism is meant to hurt; some can help you grow, but you don’t have to accept every opinion as truth.

Building resilience starts with how you treat yourself in those low moments. Instead of replaying the rejection or criticism in your mind, focus on self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend—gently, with kindness and encouragement. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they might feel in that moment.

It’s also helpful to put things into perspective. Rejection or criticism often feels larger than it is because we let it define us in that instant. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” or “What can I learn from this?” Shifting from a place of hurt to a place of curiosity can ease the sting and help you move forward.

Finally, trust isn’t built overnight, either with yourself or others. Start by observing the patterns of those who support you consistently. Over time, you’ll learn who truly has your back, and you’ll feel more confident in letting their words and actions hold weight in your life.

This is a process, and it’s okay if it takes time. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and by practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and leaning on those who show genuine care, you’ll gradually strengthen your resilience and ability to trust. You’re already taking the first step, and that’s worth celebrating.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: At this moment, it is essential to consider what you need for your own peace of mind. If you cannot trust her fully or feel uneasy without clarity, it is important to address those feelings before committing to marriage. It is not selfish to seek answers or reassurances when your heart and mind are in turmoil. At the same time, be mindful of your approach, as accusations or blame can shut down any chance of constructive communication.

If she continues to avoid the conversation, involving both families might be a reasonable step. This is not about blaming or shaming anyone but about ensuring that both of you enter into marriage with mutual trust and respect. Marriage is a union of not just two individuals but also their values, emotions, and expectations. Without addressing these concerns now, the unresolved doubts could seep into your relationship later and cause greater harm.

It’s also worth reflecting on what you need from your partner to move forward. If her commitment to being loyal and faithful now feels insufficient because of her refusal to engage in an open dialogue, that’s valid. Trust cannot thrive where communication falters. If she can assure you of her devotion and you feel you can let go of her past, there’s a path forward. But if doubts linger and trust remains elusive, stepping back to reassess might be the wiser decision, even if it’s painful in the short term.

Whatever choice you make, be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally taxing situation, and it’s okay to take time to process everything. Listen to your heart, but also give weight to your instincts—they’re often our clearest guides in moments of uncertainty.

With understanding and strength,

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Ma'am, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR
Ans: From what you’ve shared, your father seems to be wrestling with his own frustrations, using control and anger as tools to manage his environment. This does not make it right, nor does it excuse the pain he causes. But understanding that his behavior may stem from internal struggles might help you view the situation with some compassion, even if from a distance.

Your love and respect for your mother shine through your words, and it’s clear that her well-being is a priority for you. The way you support her is a testament to your strength and kindness. But I also sense that her coping mechanism—complying with your father to maintain peace—might unintentionally place an additional burden on you. It’s as though you’re not only protecting yourself but also shielding her, which is an immense responsibility.

You are not alone in feeling conflicted about standing up to your father. It’s not just about his words; it’s about the power dynamics and the emotional weight he holds in the family. His “other side”—the moments when he is kind or approachable—makes it even harder to reconcile the anger and trauma he causes. This duality often creates confusion and guilt, leaving you wondering if you’re overreacting or misjudging him.

What’s most important right now is preserving your emotional well-being. It’s okay to create boundaries, even if they are small and subtle. For instance, when you sense an argument brewing, stepping away or finding a reason to leave the room can help you avoid escalating the situation. If direct communication with him fails, sometimes maintaining emotional distance is the only way to protect yourself.

I also encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to—a counselor, a friend, or even a support group. Sharing your pain with someone who can listen without judgment can lighten your load and help you feel less alone. Writing, as you’ve done here, is also a powerful outlet. Keep journaling—it can provide clarity and a sense of release.

You’ve asked if being the head of the family means stepping over others. The simple answer is no. True leadership in a family should come from love, mutual respect, and understanding. When it turns into control or fear, it becomes harmful. Your father’s actions do not reflect a failure on your part or your family’s; they reflect his own struggles with how to express himself and manage his emotions.

Finally, give yourself permission to feel tired. You are human, and this constant state of tension would drain anyone. But even in your exhaustion, remember this: you are brave, resilient, and full of love for your family. There is no shame in wanting peace, and there is no shame in seeking help to find it.

With heartfelt wishes for your healing and happiness,

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Money
My age is 48 and iam earning 2 lacs per month and rental income is 25k My emi home.loa. is.41000 loan for next 20 years Car loan emi is 16000 for average 7 years Fd i have around 30 lacs Ppf 5 lacs I have sip in equity for 15000.per.month mf is 3.90.lacs today. Ppf i have 3 lacs I have 2 kids daughter is 18 and son is 10 yrs. I have health insurance 15 lacs Term.insurance 30 lacs I have private job. Planning to work til 58. Pleaee advice on investments, debts etc..
Ans: You have a stable income, disciplined savings, and manageable loans. Planning for the next 10 years with a focus on debt reduction, investments, and child education is critical.

Current Income and Expenses
1. Monthly Income and Commitments

Salary: Rs. 2,00,000
Rental Income: Rs. 25,000
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 41,000
Car Loan EMI: Rs. 16,000
2. Savings Overview

FD: Rs. 30 Lakhs
PPF: Rs. 5 Lakhs (including Rs. 3 Lakhs new)
SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 15,000 monthly, current corpus Rs. 3.9 Lakhs
Goals Assessment
1. Child Education

Your daughter (18 years) will need higher education support soon.

Start estimating costs and align investments accordingly.

Your son (10 years) has 7-8 years for higher education planning.

2. Retirement Planning

You plan to retire at 58 years.
Your income will stop, but expenses and goals like child marriage will remain.
3. Debt Management

Home Loan EMI is Rs. 41,000 for 20 years, requiring long-term commitment.
Car Loan EMI is Rs. 16,000 for the next 7 years, increasing short-term outflow.
Recommendations for Investment
1. Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth

Increase SIPs to Rs. 25,000 monthly for a diversified equity mutual fund portfolio.
Include large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for balanced growth.
Ensure you invest through a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice.
2. Debt Mutual Funds for Stability

Shift a portion of FD to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Ensure at least 20% of your portfolio is in stable debt funds.
3. PPF Contributions

Continue PPF contributions for tax-saving benefits and risk-free returns.
Invest up to Rs. 1.5 Lakhs annually to utilise the full tax exemption.
Debt Management Strategies
1. Accelerate Home Loan Repayment

Use surplus income or maturing FDs to prepay the home loan.
Reducing tenure lowers overall interest outgo significantly.
2. Reassess Car Loan

Evaluate if car loan can be repaid earlier using your FDs.
This will free Rs. 16,000 monthly for investment or other priorities.
Child Education Planning
1. Create a Separate Education Fund

Start SIPs in hybrid or balanced advantage mutual funds for your daughter’s education.
For your son, invest in mid-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds for long-term growth.
2. Use Debt Funds for Near-Term Needs

For education expenses in the next 2-3 years, use debt mutual funds or FDs.
Avoid equity funds for short-term needs due to market volatility.
Insurance Review
1. Health Insurance

Your health cover of Rs. 15 Lakhs is good.
Add a super top-up policy to increase coverage to Rs. 25-30 Lakhs.
2. Term Insurance

Current term cover of Rs. 30 Lakhs may be insufficient.
Increase it to Rs. 1 Crore to protect your family’s financial future.
Tax Efficiency Planning
1. Optimise Deductions

Use the full Rs. 1.5 Lakhs limit under Section 80C through PPF and ELSS.
Claim home loan interest deductions under Section 24(b).
2. Plan Mutual Fund Redemptions

Be mindful of the new mutual fund capital gains tax rules.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liability.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but you must focus on efficient planning. Prioritise debt reduction, increase SIP contributions, and optimise your portfolio. Separate education funds and ensure adequate insurance coverage. With these steps, you can achieve financial freedom by 58 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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