Home > Health > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |186 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on May 02, 2024

Dr Hemalata Arora is a senior consultant who practises internal medicine at Mumbai’s Nanavati Max Super Speciality Hospital.
In a career spanning over 24 years, she has focused on managing infectious diseases, critical illnesses and lifestyle disorders.
Dr Arora completed her MBBS and MD from the King Edward Memorial Hospital and Seth Gordhandas Sunderdas Medical College in Mumbai.
She is ECFMG certified, accredited by the American Board of Internal Medicine, Diplomate of the National Board and a DNB faculty.
She was honoured with the Paul Bunn award for her promising performance in the field of infectious diseases at SUNY Upstate Medical University, New York.... more
Rajesh Question by Rajesh on May 01, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health

Hello I am 46 year old and married since last 21 years and one son age 20. My problem is when I m away from for job and other reason. My wife takes excessive liquor day and night. all of our family members tried to advise her to stop her but she is sinking. she is very much addictive to this. Due to this my son is getting affected in his studies. We all are confused and distrubed. what should we do.

Ans: She will need urgent intervention. Possibly a rehab program. Can you first have her see a psychiatrist perhaps? Sometimes these addictive behaviours stem from underlying anxiety or depression.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
Health

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2021

Listen
Relationship
Dear Guruji, Boss, I had a drinking problem. Wife refused sex till alcohol issue solved. For a year now, have not touched a drop. I swear on my mother. She is still refusing intimacy in bed. Or anywhere. I kept my end of the deal. She has not. We never had any problems in our marriage till I started increasing my drinking. Now I feel like going back to drinking. Need your help. Thank you, Tejbir Kohli
Ans:

That does sound unfair, Tejbir.

I think you need couples's therapy.

Your marriage has obviously been through a lot, what with your former drinking problem and your wife denying you any form of intimacy.

Please don't hit the bottle again; visit a therapist instead. 

 

Hi Love Guru,
My husband always watching porn stuff.
Too much.
Porn not getting translated to real life action.
Can’t too much porn be an addiction?
I am afraid one of my daughters might see him watching.
Need your guidance.
Fatima Zaidi

Dear Fatima,

A lot of people watch porn, but an addiction is a different matter.

It's when one cannot stop watching and does so every chance s/he gets, even in risky environments like the workplace or when one's family is around.

Explain to your husband that you think that this is getting out of hand and that you're worried for both his mental wellbeing as well as your children's exposure to porn.

He needs to be discreet and also ensure that it's not getting out of hand.

Such an obsession is not healthy.

Moreover, do you have a good sex life? Maybe if you're more adventurous with him in the bedroom he may not feel the need to rely quite so much on watching sex instead of having it!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2022

Listen
Relationship
 I came across while casually going through the news feed on my phone. I am 43 years old married for 20+ years and have an adult kid and a teenager (both boys). My problem is that me and my husband have been arguing tooooo much nowadays on his alcohol issue. Even though he is not a daily drinker or excessive one, per his doctor's advise he should not be drinking. He tends to make promises which he never keeps regarding the same issue. Ours was an arranged marriage and we had our 1st kid on our 1st anniversary and 2nd kids 4 years later.Now even the elder son has started to question his dad about not keeping promises to which my husband says that as a son he doesn't need to tell him how a father has to live and what he has to do. Now my kids have lost trust on their father and I have lost trust on him long back. I have come to a point where I am in the relationship only for the kids as I am unemployed and cannot take care of the kids only own with financial support from him. I have confronted him multiple times to stop drinking or seek medical help if need to stop, but he is adamant that he will not stop. I am now worried if the father son's relationship will get into a turmoil cos I don't want my boys to grow up with out a father. I am at a crossroad as to how to continue with life from here on. It would be helpful and kind of you if u can suggest me something to help convince my husband to abandon alcohol and save the family's peace and happiness.
Ans:

Dear L, I can only imagine what this must be for you. But don’t lose heart. Is there any reason that pushed him to taking to drinking?

Alcohol can make a person who he/she isn’t. What is said and what is to be done, can be forgotten with consistent drinking and the effects it has on the body and mind.

If he is drinking despite doctor’s warnings and it has begun to erode your relationships, either ask an elderly family member to talk to him (preferably a male member) or please seek professional help.

Whatever it is, at home, none of the members must taunt him or nag him or repeatedly talk about his mistakes or his lack of commitment.

This will only push him further away and back into his easy stress buster which is alcohol. Be patient and loving and keep your mind focused on his healing and coming back into the family as a changed person.

Wishing you the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I’m 41 male, married for last 15 years and have 1 kid. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family ,my wife is an alcoholic and for the same i ready apply divorce 3 time but due to my son i always gave her chance to change her self, but its high time now i apply 4 th time divorce, m i right or wrong??
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through such a difficult time. Dealing with addiction can be challenging for both the individual struggling with it and their loved ones. It's important to recognize that addiction is a disease and requires professional help and support to overcome.

Divorce is a serious decision and should not be taken lightly. It's important to consider all of the factors involved and to seek professional guidance before making any decisions. It sounds like you have tried to work through your wife's addiction for a long time and have given her multiple chances to change, but have not seen the results you were hoping for.

If you have exhausted all options and feel that divorce is the best course of action for you and your son, then you are entitled to make that decision. However, it's important to consider the impact that divorce may have on your son and to make sure that he is receiving the support and care that he needs during this difficult time.

I would encourage you to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate this difficult decision and to explore all of your options. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to make the best decision for yourself and your family.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Madam, i am 49 and married with 2 kids (10th standard and 8th standard), my problem started we move to india and settled near my mother/sister-law and there is lot influence things happened alast 2 year and also i have drinking habit which i have overcome by attenting rehibition, but last 8 month i am staying with mother house due my health and now i ok, but every time last 3 months i asking my wife can we staying together but no proper answer and she away most of time on spiritualty, even i allow her go but she is not inform were about even after 20 phone call that triggers me and i drink and make my life diffocult myself, recently i have asked move alone with me and kids but again blaming for all the past thing, due to this i have flight my parents and brother which not keep peace to them....i am really confused and what stage they will expect me i know sure..please let me know any suggestion
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your drinking is the main reason why your wife cannot trust you again. Rebuilding that trust is going to take a lot of time and patience, Simply by saying that All is Well, let's move back together is not going to help.
Use this time of separation to rebuild that trust. Visit your children often and be the father that they didn't have earlier...be the husband that you were not earlier.
Actions speak louder than words...so, now focus on what you can do for your family that will make them want you back into their lives and this can definitely happen when you are staying away from them.
Allow them to slowly notice the changes in you and they will on their own accept you back...
A lot of work to be done...but anything for the family, right?

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |186 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on May 02, 2024

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3712 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi. Can my mother of two sons get her will registered for a residential property with half share each for both her Sons. Now the property was registered in mother's name in year 2000 for 15 lacs. A loan was taken by the younger son for 12 lacs to finance the property. This loan was in due course paid off. Now mother in present situation is aged and wants to will her property equally to both her sons. Can she go ahead with registered will. Also what other documentation needs to be done so that there is no dispute in future among brothers.
Ans: Yes, your mother can get her will registered for the residential property, allocating half share to each of her sons. This process involves several steps to ensure that the will is legally valid and that there are no disputes in the future.

Steps to Register the Will
Drafting the Will: The will should clearly state her intention to divide the property equally between both sons. It should include specific details about the property, such as its location, registration details, and any other pertinent information.

Appointment of Executors: Your mother should appoint one or more executors in her will. Executors are responsible for carrying out the terms of the will. It is advisable to choose trustworthy and impartial executors.

Witnesses: The will must be signed by your mother in the presence of at least two witnesses who are not beneficiaries in the will. The witnesses must also sign the will, confirming that they saw her sign it.

Registration of the Will: Although not mandatory, registering the will with the local sub-registrar’s office is highly recommended. This provides a legal safeguard against future disputes. The process involves:

Visiting the local sub-registrar’s office.
Submitting the will along with required documents (proof of identity, proof of residence, etc.).
Paying the registration fee.
The sub-registrar will then record and register the will.
Additional Documentation and Steps to Prevent Future Disputes
To further ensure there are no disputes in the future, consider the following additional steps:

Family Settlement Agreement: If both sons agree, your mother can draft a family settlement agreement. This agreement can state that both sons have agreed to the equal division of the property and that they will respect the terms of the will. This should be signed by all parties involved and can be notarized for added legal strength.

Declaration of No Objection: Both sons can sign a No Objection Certificate (NOC) stating they have no objections to the property being divided equally as per their mother’s will. This can be attached to the will or kept as a separate

Consulting a Lawyer: It is advisable to consult with a property lawyer to ensure that all legal formalities are correctly followed. The lawyer can help draft the will, the family settlement agreement, and the NOC to ensure they are legally binding.

Updating Property Records: Once the will is registered, ensure that the property records reflect your mother’s ownership clearly. This will prevent any claims of ownership or legal complications in the future.

Informing Family Members: Make sure that all family members, especially the beneficiaries, are aware of the will and its contents. Transparency can often prevent misunderstandings and disputes.

Summary
Your mother can proceed with registering her will to divide her property equally between her two sons. The will must be drafted properly, witnessed, and ideally registered with the sub-registrar’s office. Additional steps, such as a family settlement agreement and a No Objection Certificate, can provide further assurance that there will be no disputes in the future.

By following these steps and seeking professional legal advice, your mother can ensure her wishes are respected and that her sons can receive their shares without any legal complications.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3712 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Money
Hello sir, I am a 41 year old, have a dependend wife and 10 yr old daughter. I have a monthly income of 2.20 lakh in hand, 1 lakhs in equity stocks, 15 lakhs in MF lumpsum, 10 lakh in FD and 7 lakh in NSC. I pay 35,000 for SIP monthly, pay PPF 10,000 monthly, pay 5,000 monthly for NPS and pay SSY for daughter 12,000 monthly and PPF for wife 12,000 monthly. How should i plan my retirement corpus?? Is it enough or shall i invest more?? I want to plan retirement at the age of 52.
Ans: Planning for Retirement: A Comprehensive Guide

Assessing Your Current Financial Position

You have shared valuable details about your current financial situation. It is evident that you have a strong foundation with various investments and savings. This shows a commendable level of financial discipline and foresight. Your monthly income is Rs 2.20 lakh, and you have significant investments in different financial instruments. Let's break down your current investments:

Equity Stocks: Rs 1 lakh
Mutual Funds (MF) Lumpsum: Rs 15 lakh
Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs 10 lakh
National Savings Certificate (NSC): Rs 7 lakh
Monthly SIP: Rs 35,000
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 10,000
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 5,000
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for your daughter: Rs 12,000
PPF for your wife: Rs 12,000
This diversified portfolio shows a balanced approach, combining equity, fixed income, and government-backed savings schemes. Each investment has a role to play in your overall financial plan.

Setting Retirement Goals

Planning for retirement is essential, especially when you aim to retire early at the age of 52. This gives you 11 more years to build a robust retirement corpus. The key to a successful retirement plan is to estimate your future needs and ensure your investments align with those needs.

Your current lifestyle and expenses will impact your retirement needs. You need to consider inflation, medical expenses, and lifestyle changes post-retirement. It's crucial to have a clear vision of the lifestyle you wish to maintain during retirement.

Evaluating Existing Investments

Let's evaluate the efficiency of your current investments:

Equity Stocks: You have Rs 1 lakh in equity stocks. Equity investments are crucial for long-term growth. However, individual stock investments can be volatile and risky. It’s essential to diversify and periodically review your stock portfolio.

Mutual Funds (MF): You have Rs 15 lakh in mutual funds and contribute Rs 35,000 monthly through SIPs. Mutual funds are an excellent choice for diversification and professional management. Actively managed funds often outperform passive funds, as fund managers can adapt to market changes.

Fixed Deposit (FD): With Rs 10 lakh in FDs, you have a secure, low-risk investment. However, the returns may not keep pace with inflation. It’s essential to balance FDs with higher-yield investments.

National Savings Certificate (NSC): Rs 7 lakh in NSCs provides guaranteed returns and tax benefits. However, like FDs, the returns may not beat inflation.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): You contribute Rs 10,000 monthly to PPF. PPF offers tax benefits and a decent interest rate, making it a good long-term investment.

National Pension System (NPS): Contributing Rs 5,000 monthly to NPS is a smart move for retirement planning. NPS provides market-linked returns with an added tax benefit.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Rs 12,000 monthly towards SSY for your daughter is an excellent choice. SSY offers high interest rates and is a secure investment for her future.

PPF for Wife: Contributing Rs 12,000 monthly to PPF for your wife is beneficial. It ensures her financial security with tax benefits.

Assessing Future Needs

To plan your retirement corpus effectively, we need to assess your future needs. Consider the following factors:

Living Expenses: Estimate your current monthly expenses and adjust for inflation to project future expenses.
Healthcare: Anticipate higher medical costs as you age.
Lifestyle Goals: Consider travel, hobbies, or any new pursuits you plan to enjoy post-retirement.
Daughter’s Education and Marriage: Ensure you allocate funds for your daughter's higher education and marriage.
Projecting Retirement Corpus

Based on your future needs, we can project the retirement corpus required. Without specific calculations, let's outline the steps:

Estimate Monthly Expenses: Consider your current expenses and project them with an annual inflation rate.
Account for Medical Costs: Healthcare costs typically increase with age.
Consider Lifestyle Changes: Factor in any new activities or travel plans.
Include Contingencies: Always have a buffer for unexpected expenses.
Once you have a monthly expense estimate, multiply it by the number of years you expect to live post-retirement. This gives a rough estimate of the required corpus.

Enhancing Your Investment Strategy

Given your current investments and goals, let’s explore how to enhance your strategy:

Increase Equity Exposure: Considering your long-term horizon, increasing exposure to equity mutual funds can provide higher returns. Actively managed funds, with professional fund managers, can help achieve better performance compared to index funds.

Review and Rebalance Portfolio: Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Rebalancing helps maintain the desired asset allocation and mitigates risk.

Increase SIP Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP contributions to benefit from compounding. This disciplined approach can significantly boost your corpus.

Diversify Investments: Diversify within asset classes to reduce risk. Consider various mutual fund categories and sectors.

Tax Efficiency: Utilize tax-efficient instruments to maximize returns. Investments like PPF, NPS, and SSY offer tax benefits under different sections of the Income Tax Act.

Addressing Disadvantages of Index Funds and Direct Funds

Index funds, while popular, have certain disadvantages. They passively track indices and may underperform during market downturns. Active funds, managed by experts, can adapt to market conditions and potentially offer better returns.

Direct funds may seem cost-effective, but they require more research and active management. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional guidance, better fund selection, and periodic reviews. CFPs provide personalized advice, helping you navigate complex financial decisions.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Plan

Retirement planning is not a one-time activity. Regular monitoring and adjustments are essential to stay on track. Here are some steps to ensure your plan remains effective:

Annual Reviews: Conduct annual reviews of your financial plan. Assess performance, rebalance your portfolio, and make necessary adjustments.

Life Changes: Adjust your plan for any significant life changes, such as job changes, health issues, or family needs.

Stay Informed: Keep yourself updated on market trends, new investment opportunities, and regulatory changes.

Seek Professional Advice: Regularly consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to ensure your strategy aligns with your goals.

Final Insights

You have a solid foundation for your retirement planning with diversified investments. To ensure a comfortable retirement at 52, focus on increasing equity exposure, maximizing tax efficiency, and regularly reviewing your portfolio. Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) will provide you with expert guidance and personalized advice.

Your disciplined approach to savings and investments is commendable. By continuing to plan strategically and adjusting as needed, you can achieve your retirement goals and secure a financially stable future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |325 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Listen
Career
Hi My son is in class 12th CBSE. Would be looking for admission in overseas universities for next year admissions. He has taken Physics, Chemistry and Biology as his main subjects. Can you guide me which subjects he can choose for his undergraduate course or which course should he choose for a better career. Also, kindly guide me which countries would be better for him.
Ans: Saumyaa Madam, please let me know, your son is interested in which subject / stream / course? His academic performance in 10th / 12th? If possible, please arrange for him to attempt a 'Psychometric Test' (available online) for Rs.1000-2000 approx. Test Report provides information about his level of Aptitude, Attitude, Interest, Personality Traits & his orientation Style. You will get a basic idea. After going through this process, please come back and ask with your feedback to recommend the right country / course etc. All the BEST for your Son's Bright Future. To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad)’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |116 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I purchased an NSC in 2018 and paid tax every year for the interest on accrual basis. But it seems from last year, post offices are providing data to AIS on receipt basis, that is, whole amount of interest on maturity. What happens to the money I paid as taxes in previous years on the same basis? How do I adjust them? Please help as many people I now face this issue.
Ans: You're right! The tax treatment of NSC interest can be confusing. Here's what you need to know:

Good news: The taxes you've paid on the accrued interest in previous years are valid. You don't need to adjust them.

Why?

The Income Tax department in India treats interest earned on NSCs on an accrual basis, even though the interest is paid out at maturity. This means you were correct to pay taxes on the accrued interest every year.

What about the data mismatch with AIS?

The post office might now be reporting the entire interest on maturity to the Annual Information Statement (AIS). This can create a discrepancy.

How to handle it?

• You don't need to file any corrections for previous years.
• When filing your current year's return, consider the following:

1. If you consistently claimed the accrued interest as income in previous years, only report the interest for the final year (maturity year) in your current return. This avoids double taxation.
2. You can file feedback in the AIS portal mentioning that the interest for the previous years was already offered for tax purposes. This helps in clarifying the situation.

Additional tips:

• It's advisable to maintain records of your previous tax returns where you declared the accrued interest.
• If you have any concerns, consult a tax advisor for personalized guidance specific to your situation.

This is a common issue faced by many NSC holders. By following these steps, you can ensure your tax filing remains accurate.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |325 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Sir, We've observed that you tend to recommend institutions like VIT, which have a non-transparent category system (where you 'buy' your way up over other deserving students) over Manipal CSE at both the main campus and the Bangalore campus. You also seem to favor institutions such as RV (I am from RV and a Bangalorean for over 40 years) and BMS, which are no doubt good , but ranked lower than Main Manipal in their placements. Is there a particular reason for this bias against Manipal in your recommendations? Manipal Sikkim, we can understand. Please note, I do not have any family connections to Manipal nor We have anyone studying there. We are exploring fallback options including Manipal for our son in case he doesn't get his desired branch at BITS Pilani or NITs. If a reason as to why 'No Manipal' it'll be helpful for all. Thank you for your guidance.
Ans: Thanks for your feedback. Regarding Manipal, it is one of the top-ranked universities with good placements. I had clearly mentioned it is not suitable, only for SOME (not all) students due to some reasons and the feedback I got some from Manipal students on 'Non-Academic / Psychological' Factors. Psychological factors also play an important role for careers. There are students who are academically strong, but psychologically might be average or below. Regarding VIT, most of the parents'/candidates' questions do not specifically refer about the Category they got. If they clearly mention about the category, I reply accordingly that, to go for VIT only if they can afford the fees. I hope I have clarified your clarified your doubt. Thanks once again for your feedback and for reading my answers. All the BEST for Your Son's Bright Future.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x