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Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |186 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on May 02, 2024

Dr Hemalata Arora is a senior consultant who practises internal medicine at Mumbai’s Nanavati Max Super Speciality Hospital.
In a career spanning over 24 years, she has focused on managing infectious diseases, critical illnesses and lifestyle disorders.
Dr Arora completed her MBBS and MD from the King Edward Memorial Hospital and Seth Gordhandas Sunderdas Medical College in Mumbai.
She is ECFMG certified, accredited by the American Board of Internal Medicine, Diplomate of the National Board and a DNB faculty.
She was honoured with the Paul Bunn award for her promising performance in the field of infectious diseases at SUNY Upstate Medical University, New York.... more
Rajesh Question by Rajesh on May 01, 2024Hindi
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Hello I am 46 year old and married since last 21 years and one son age 20. My problem is when I m away from for job and other reason. My wife takes excessive liquor day and night. all of our family members tried to advise her to stop her but she is sinking. she is very much addictive to this. Due to this my son is getting affected in his studies. We all are confused and distrubed. what should we do.

Ans: She will need urgent intervention. Possibly a rehab program. Can you first have her see a psychiatrist perhaps? Sometimes these addictive behaviours stem from underlying anxiety or depression.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2021

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Dear Guruji, Boss, I had a drinking problem. Wife refused sex till alcohol issue solved. For a year now, have not touched a drop. I swear on my mother. She is still refusing intimacy in bed. Or anywhere. I kept my end of the deal. She has not. We never had any problems in our marriage till I started increasing my drinking. Now I feel like going back to drinking. Need your help. Thank you, Tejbir Kohli
Ans:

That does sound unfair, Tejbir.

I think you need couples's therapy.

Your marriage has obviously been through a lot, what with your former drinking problem and your wife denying you any form of intimacy.

Please don't hit the bottle again; visit a therapist instead. 

 

Hi Love Guru,
My husband always watching porn stuff.
Too much.
Porn not getting translated to real life action.
Can’t too much porn be an addiction?
I am afraid one of my daughters might see him watching.
Need your guidance.
Fatima Zaidi

Dear Fatima,

A lot of people watch porn, but an addiction is a different matter.

It's when one cannot stop watching and does so every chance s/he gets, even in risky environments like the workplace or when one's family is around.

Explain to your husband that you think that this is getting out of hand and that you're worried for both his mental wellbeing as well as your children's exposure to porn.

He needs to be discreet and also ensure that it's not getting out of hand.

Such an obsession is not healthy.

Moreover, do you have a good sex life? Maybe if you're more adventurous with him in the bedroom he may not feel the need to rely quite so much on watching sex instead of having it!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |873 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2022

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 I came across while casually going through the news feed on my phone. I am 43 years old married for 20+ years and have an adult kid and a teenager (both boys). My problem is that me and my husband have been arguing tooooo much nowadays on his alcohol issue. Even though he is not a daily drinker or excessive one, per his doctor's advise he should not be drinking. He tends to make promises which he never keeps regarding the same issue. Ours was an arranged marriage and we had our 1st kid on our 1st anniversary and 2nd kids 4 years later.Now even the elder son has started to question his dad about not keeping promises to which my husband says that as a son he doesn't need to tell him how a father has to live and what he has to do. Now my kids have lost trust on their father and I have lost trust on him long back. I have come to a point where I am in the relationship only for the kids as I am unemployed and cannot take care of the kids only own with financial support from him. I have confronted him multiple times to stop drinking or seek medical help if need to stop, but he is adamant that he will not stop. I am now worried if the father son's relationship will get into a turmoil cos I don't want my boys to grow up with out a father. I am at a crossroad as to how to continue with life from here on. It would be helpful and kind of you if u can suggest me something to help convince my husband to abandon alcohol and save the family's peace and happiness.
Ans:

Dear L, I can only imagine what this must be for you. But don’t lose heart. Is there any reason that pushed him to taking to drinking?

Alcohol can make a person who he/she isn’t. What is said and what is to be done, can be forgotten with consistent drinking and the effects it has on the body and mind.

If he is drinking despite doctor’s warnings and it has begun to erode your relationships, either ask an elderly family member to talk to him (preferably a male member) or please seek professional help.

Whatever it is, at home, none of the members must taunt him or nag him or repeatedly talk about his mistakes or his lack of commitment.

This will only push him further away and back into his easy stress buster which is alcohol. Be patient and loving and keep your mind focused on his healing and coming back into the family as a changed person.

Wishing you the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2023Hindi
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I’m 41 male, married for last 15 years and have 1 kid. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family ,my wife is an alcoholic and for the same i ready apply divorce 3 time but due to my son i always gave her chance to change her self, but its high time now i apply 4 th time divorce, m i right or wrong??
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through such a difficult time. Dealing with addiction can be challenging for both the individual struggling with it and their loved ones. It's important to recognize that addiction is a disease and requires professional help and support to overcome.

Divorce is a serious decision and should not be taken lightly. It's important to consider all of the factors involved and to seek professional guidance before making any decisions. It sounds like you have tried to work through your wife's addiction for a long time and have given her multiple chances to change, but have not seen the results you were hoping for.

If you have exhausted all options and feel that divorce is the best course of action for you and your son, then you are entitled to make that decision. However, it's important to consider the impact that divorce may have on your son and to make sure that he is receiving the support and care that he needs during this difficult time.

I would encourage you to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate this difficult decision and to explore all of your options. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to make the best decision for yourself and your family.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |873 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Madam, i am 49 and married with 2 kids (10th standard and 8th standard), my problem started we move to india and settled near my mother/sister-law and there is lot influence things happened alast 2 year and also i have drinking habit which i have overcome by attenting rehibition, but last 8 month i am staying with mother house due my health and now i ok, but every time last 3 months i asking my wife can we staying together but no proper answer and she away most of time on spiritualty, even i allow her go but she is not inform were about even after 20 phone call that triggers me and i drink and make my life diffocult myself, recently i have asked move alone with me and kids but again blaming for all the past thing, due to this i have flight my parents and brother which not keep peace to them....i am really confused and what stage they will expect me i know sure..please let me know any suggestion
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your drinking is the main reason why your wife cannot trust you again. Rebuilding that trust is going to take a lot of time and patience, Simply by saying that All is Well, let's move back together is not going to help.
Use this time of separation to rebuild that trust. Visit your children often and be the father that they didn't have earlier...be the husband that you were not earlier.
Actions speak louder than words...so, now focus on what you can do for your family that will make them want you back into their lives and this can definitely happen when you are staying away from them.
Allow them to slowly notice the changes in you and they will on their own accept you back...
A lot of work to be done...but anything for the family, right?

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |186 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2375 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 41, with take home salary of 2L/month. I want to retire early and live a sustainable life. Considering family income of 3.3L/month and expenses close to 1.1L/month, I have no loans, owns house without HL. I have invested 1 Cr is agricultural land and leased and rental income of 24% ROI. I also have a Bajaj goal assure ulip of 1L/yr since 2018 for 15 yrs premium paying term and 20 yrs of maturity and newly purchased another ulip in midcap 150 index fund of 2.5L/yr for 10 yrs payment term and withdrawal after 25 yrs. I have a corpus of 1 Cr and want to know good instruments which can help me retire b/w 55-60 yrs. I want to grow my capital aggressively considering Indian economy will grow in the future. Pls suggest if Lumpsum investment is recommended or SIP considering the surplus I have for investment now. Where should the entire amount be invested temporarily till everything is invested over time if SIP or SWP options are considered. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Planning for Early Retirement with Aggressive Growth Strategy
Compliments on Your Financial Discipline
You have a well-structured financial situation with no loans and significant investments. Your approach to early retirement with a focus on aggressive growth is commendable.

Current Financial Overview
Monthly Take Home Salary: Rs. 2 lakhs.
Total Family Income: Rs. 3.3 lakhs.
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 1.1 lakh.
Investments: Rs. 1 crore in agricultural land with 24% ROI.
ULIP Policies: Bajaj Goal Assure ULIP (Rs. 1 lakh/year for 15 years) and Midcap 150 Index ULIP (Rs. 2.5 lakhs/year for 10 years).
Corpus: Rs. 1 crore.
Investment Strategy for Retirement
Asset Allocation:

Diversify your portfolio across various asset classes such as equity, debt, and gold to manage risk and maximize returns.
Equity Investments:

SIP in Equity Mutual Funds: Given the long-term horizon, SIPs in equity mutual funds are recommended. Focus on a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for diversification.
Lumpsum Investment: You can invest a portion of your corpus in equity funds through Systematic Transfer Plan (STP) to mitigate market volatility. Start with a lump sum in a liquid fund and systematically transfer to equity funds.
Debt Instruments:

Debt Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion to debt mutual funds for stability and regular income.
Public Provident Fund (PPF): This is a safe option with tax benefits and should be part of your debt portfolio.
Gold:

Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs): These are government-backed and provide a regular interest along with capital appreciation linked to gold prices.
Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses in a high-yield savings account or liquid fund.
Temporary Investment Until SIP Deployment
Liquid Funds: Park your corpus in liquid funds temporarily. These funds offer better returns than savings accounts and are highly liquid, allowing easy transfer to SIPs.
Systematic Transfer Plan (STP): Utilize STP to gradually move money from liquid funds to equity funds, reducing the impact of market volatility.
Recommended Mutual Fund Categories
Large Cap Funds:

Invest in large-cap funds for stable and consistent growth with lower risk.
Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds:

Allocate a portion to mid-cap and small-cap funds for higher growth potential, considering your aggressive growth strategy.
Flexi Cap Funds:

These funds invest across market capitalizations and provide flexibility to fund managers to optimize returns.
Balanced Advantage Funds:

These dynamically manage the allocation between equity and debt, providing a balanced approach to risk and return.
Tax Planning and ULIPs
Review ULIP Policies: Ensure the ULIP policies align with your financial goals. ULIPs often have higher charges compared to mutual funds, so consider this in your overall strategy.
Insurance-cum-investment schemes
Insurance-cum-investment schemes (ULIPs, endowment plans) offer a one-stop solution for insurance and investment needs. However, they might not be the best choice for pure investment due to:
• Lower Potential Returns: Guaranteed returns are usually lower than what MFs can offer through market exposure.
• Higher Costs: Multiple fees in insurance plans (allocation charges, admin fees) can reduce returns compared to the expense ratio of MFs.
• Limited Flexibility: Lock-in periods restrict access to your money, whereas MFs provide more flexibility.
MFs, on the other hand, focus solely on investment and offer:
• Potentially Higher Returns: Investments in stocks and bonds can lead to higher growth compared to guaranteed returns.
• Lower Costs: Expense ratios in MFs are generally lower than the multiple fees in insurance plans.
• Greater Control: You have a wider range of investment options and control over asset allocation to suit your risk appetite.
Consider your goals!
• Need life insurance? Term Insurance plans might be suitable.
• Focus on growing wealth? MFs might be a better option due to their flexibility and return potential.

Tax Benefits: Maximize your tax benefits through investments in PPF, NPS, and ELSS (Equity-Linked Savings Scheme) funds.
Conclusion
To retire between 55-60 years with a sustainable lifestyle, focus on an aggressive yet diversified investment strategy. Use a mix of SIPs in equity funds, debt funds, and gold investments. Temporarily park your lump sum in liquid funds and use STPs for gradual investment. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Planning for early retirement is a significant decision, and your disciplined approach is praiseworthy. Continue to monitor and adapt your investments to ensure a secure and prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2375 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am 44 years and want to invest in SIPs to collate a corpse of 6 Cr in next 15 years. I have below SIPs running since 2020. DSP flexi cap (G) - 20k per month Axis bluechip (G) -20k per month If you can suggest the right MF to invest and the distribution. Many thanks...
Ans: Building a Rs. 6 Crore Corpus in 15 Years
Commendable Start
You are already off to a strong start with your existing SIPs in DSP Flexi Cap and Axis Bluechip funds. Starting early and maintaining consistency are key to achieving your financial goals.

Assessing Current Investments
DSP Flexi Cap (G): Flexi cap funds provide diversification across market capitalizations, which balances risk and growth potential. This is a solid choice.

Axis Bluechip (G): Bluechip funds focus on large-cap stocks, offering stability and steady growth. This fund helps in reducing volatility in your portfolio.

Suggested Investment Strategy
To achieve a corpus of Rs. 6 Crore in 15 years, you may need to diversify further and increase your SIP amounts. Here’s a recommended strategy:

Increase SIP Amounts:

Based on your target, calculate the required monthly SIP amount. You may need to increase your total SIP amount from the current Rs. 40,000.
Diversify Across More Funds:

Adding more funds can help you capture different market segments and reduce risk.
Recommended Funds and Distribution
Large Cap Fund:

Continue with Axis Bluechip (G). Consider increasing your SIP in this fund to maintain stability.
Flexi Cap Fund:

Continue with DSP Flexi Cap (G). Flexi cap funds are versatile and can adjust to market conditions.
Mid Cap Fund:

Add a mid-cap fund for higher growth potential. These funds invest in companies with higher growth prospects but come with moderate risk.
Small Cap Fund:

Allocate a smaller portion to a small cap fund. These funds can provide significant growth but are more volatile.
Balanced Advantage Fund:

Include a balanced advantage fund. These funds dynamically adjust the allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions, providing stability.
Suggested Distribution
Axis Bluechip Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 25,000 per month.
DSP Flexi Cap Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 25,000 per month.
Mid Cap Fund: Start an SIP of Rs. 20,000 per month.
Small Cap Fund: Start an SIP of Rs. 15,000 per month.
Balanced Advantage Fund: Start an SIP of Rs. 15,000 per month.
Monitoring and Adjustments
Regular Reviews: Review your portfolio every 6-12 months. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.

Rebalancing: Rebalance your portfolio annually to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Step-Up SIPs: Increase your SIP amounts annually in line with your salary increments. This helps in achieving your goal faster.

Conclusion
Your goal of accumulating Rs. 6 Crore in 15 years is achievable with the right strategy. By increasing your SIP amounts, diversifying across different fund categories, and regularly reviewing your investments, you can stay on track to meet your financial objective.

Investing for the long term requires discipline and patience. You are on the right path, and with consistent efforts, you will achieve your goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2375 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Sir namaskar 10 Sal 4 Mahina Mera service ho gaya tha 58 year ke bad pension Mein contribution band ho gaya tha Uske bad bhi final withdrawal Mein reason 55 year ka reason de rahe hain Aise Mein Main Kya kar sakta hun
Ans: Namaskar! You have completed 10 years and 4 months of service. After the age of 58, your pension contributions stopped. However, during final withdrawal, you are facing an issue with the reason being marked as 55 years.

Steps to Resolve Your Issue
Contact EPFO Office: Visit your nearest Employee Provident Fund Organization (EPFO) office. Explain your situation in detail and provide all necessary documents.

Document Verification: Ensure you have all relevant documents, such as your service certificate, age proof, and any previous communication with EPFO. These will help in verifying your correct service period and age.

Grievance Redressal: Use the EPFO grievance redressal portal. Register your grievance online and track its status. This can expedite the resolution process.

EPFO Grievance Portal: EPFO Grievance Management System
Employer Verification: Contact your employer’s HR department. They can verify your service records and provide additional support or documentation to correct the age error.

Correction Request: Submit a formal request for correction in the age/years of service in your EPFO records. This should be done through your employer or directly at the EPFO office.

Additional Tips
Follow-Up: Regularly follow up with the EPFO office. Persistent communication can help speed up the process.

Keep Records: Maintain copies of all correspondence and documents submitted. This will be useful for future reference and any potential follow-ups.

Seek Help: If you face difficulties, consider seeking help from a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide guidance on managing your pension and retirement funds effectively.

Conclusion
Addressing the discrepancy in your pension records is crucial. By following the steps above, you can correct the error and proceed with your final withdrawal smoothly. Stay patient and persistent.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2375 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi RediffGURUS, please guide if i need to make changes in mutual-funds selection. I want to invest for retirement which is 19 years from now and need 3 CR. I have term insurance where i will receive bonus+SA in next 10 years of 60 lac, life insurance of 6 lac by 2026 which is bonus+SA, PPF currently have 5lac for 3 years, NPS currently have 2.83 lac for 3 years, sbi technology opportunities fund 87K for 3 years with 2K sip, just starting sip in may month sbi large and mid cap fund which is 1K with step up 10%, 1K in PGIM midcap opportunities with step up 10%, Parag parikh flexi fund 2K SIP. To save tax i invested in superannuation two months ago for 7K. Can you please help me if my mutual-funds selection are correct or need changes
Ans: You are already taking significant steps towards securing your financial future. Investing in mutual funds, term insurance, life insurance, PPF, and NPS demonstrates a commendable approach.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
SBI Technology Opportunities Fund: Your investment in this fund for three years shows a focus on sector-specific growth. However, sector funds can be volatile. It’s essential to ensure that this aligns with your risk tolerance.

SBI Large and Mid Cap Fund: Starting an SIP in this fund is a good move. Large and mid-cap funds provide a balanced approach between stability and growth potential.

PGIM Midcap Opportunities Fund: Midcap funds are suitable for long-term growth but come with higher risk. Your step-up SIP plan indicates a disciplined investment approach.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: This fund is known for its diversified approach. Investing in a flexi cap fund is wise as it offers exposure across market capitalizations.

Suggested Adjustments
Diversification: Ensure that your portfolio is well-diversified across different sectors and asset classes. Over-reliance on specific sectors can increase risk.

Risk Management: Balance your high-risk investments with more stable options. Consider adding some conservative funds to cushion against market volatility.

Additional Investment Suggestions
Balanced Funds: Consider adding balanced or hybrid funds to your portfolio. These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, offering stability and growth.

Regular Review: Periodically review your investments to ensure they align with your goals. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Long-Term Strategy
SIP Discipline: Continue with your disciplined SIP approach. Regular investments help in averaging out market fluctuations and build a substantial corpus over time.

Tax Efficiency: Utilize tax-efficient instruments like PPF and NPS. These not only provide tax benefits but also offer a stable return over the long term.

Step-Up SIPs: Your plan to step up SIPs by 10% annually is excellent. It ensures your investments grow in line with your income, helping you reach your financial goals faster.

Conclusion
Your current mutual fund selections are on the right track for achieving your retirement goal of 3 crores. Ensure diversification, manage risks, and periodically review your portfolio.

Planning for retirement can be complex, but your proactive approach is commendable. Keep up the good work, and stay focused on your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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