Hi, My son faces challenges of not doing well in the examination, he is in class XII with PCM and has an extra ordinary logical and analytical ability. All his teachers give excellent feedback about him however, he makes silly mistakes in some subjects, his representation of knowledge in the exam paper is not improving and often leaves a question answered incompletely. Also he had peculiar problem of writing wrong spellings for even simple words which in subjects such as language reduces his overall score. He understand difficult concepts of mathematics and physics very easily and hence aspires quite big. But his exam scores will be bottleneck for the same. Please suggest which kind of consultants( doctors/ Psychologist/Counsellors) we should discuss this for a solution.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not overthinking. Wanting privacy about your relationship is a reasonable boundary. His friendship might be older than your marriage, your consent to share sensitive information which involves you still applies. And friendship and marriage are two different things, and each has its own place.

The best solution to this situation is to have a conversation, the right time, right place and right way. Pick a time when both of you are calm and relaxed. Frame the conversation around trust, not control. If it sounds like you are asking him to choose marriage over friendship, he might get defensive. So, highlight your emotional safety instead of sounding accusatory that he is making you feel a certain way. Be specific about your boundaries: bedroom talks are off limits, or personal insecurities should not be shared outside of the marriage. Everyone needs someone to vent to, and talking to friends is okay, but not when it makes your partner uncomfortable. Acknowledge that he needs to talk to someone about things, but remain firm about your boundaries. If he still brushes it off, let him know that joking about your private matters hurt your deeply. If nothing else works, I really suggest marriage counseling. Sometimes people need to hear the hard things from others, instead of their partner, to understand it's validity.

Hope this helps.