My 12+ old son has gradually become disobedient and does not listens to us. he dont want to study and most of the time wants to play games on mobile or tab. during this covid this habit of playing games has become very strong. he does not want to go to school and tells to his elder brother that his classmates bully him as he is fat. this obesity also he got during covid days , earlier he was very agile. i try to listen to him , talk to him and try to make him understand the importance of study but no heed , in school also his work is pending. we are really worried and upset for his behaviour if your are available offline and help us in this matter. kindly tell your fee as well Sona Punj

Ans: Put him on self awareness and control using some token strategy.
Every right behaviour get him a token and negative behaviour token can be kept back.
When using this strategy, you need to be mindful by giving token only for right behaviour. He can collect it and exchange the same to get a reward from you.

Ans: Make a proper timetable with only one hour of screen time. Demarcation of time for play and outdoor activities. For rude behaviour, screen time should be cancelled.
If necessary, consult a child psychologist

Ans: Dear Parent , I could feel pain from your message . There are many such c ases where children are addicted to Mobile for games or watching videos of no use. In fact scientists compare mobile addiction with Opium like addiction where users stay on mobile for as long as 15-20 hrs a day. Why don't you ask him for getting into development of Mobile apps by learning coding ..? Or even ethical Hacking if you are sure he is not getting not wrong direction. Or in worst case , get him into some businesses like Selling Mobile and its accessaries. He needs to use his negative qualities into positive strengths through soft counselling only.

Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..