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Mayank

Mayank Rautela  | Answer  |Ask -

HR Expert - Answered on Feb 24, 2021

Mayank Rautela is the group chief human resources officer at Apollo Hospitals.
A management graduate from the Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies with a master's degree in labour laws from Pune University, Rautela has over 20 years of experience in general management, strategic human resources, global mergers and integrations and change management.... more
Sneha Question by Sneha on Feb 24, 2021Hindi
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Career

Hello.
My name is Sneha Mukherjee. I'm 23 years old. I don't work but I need help for my fiance.
He works as an assistant executive.
He's going through mental pressure from his company and wants to change his job.
He had applied for many jobs. In fact, he has been applying for jobs since two years but is not getting any job.
He's the only earner for his family and his family condition isn't going well from both mental and physical side.
I request you to please help. How can he get out of this situation?
Thank you
Sneha

Ans:

Hi Sneha,

Please advise your fiance that if he wants a good job, he must first focus on his current job and do well there.

He has to be a success there; only then other organisations will hire him.

Explain to him that all jobs today are demanding and stressful and changing jobs will not help him.

He must focus on his current role, perform well and then he can look for another job.

Though it's your personal life, my advice would be that you too should start working and get married only once both your careers are on the right track.  

Career

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Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi. I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them. My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi. As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents. My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids). I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai. I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out. I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization. Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further. Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that. With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown. Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them. Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities. Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.
Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

..Read more

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Hi MamIn current world of lots of competition and jobs scarcity and unemployment whenever I see any opening, there are hundreds of applicants who apply for the opening I wonder whether HR person would really be able to check and short list candidates from so many applications.My friend is under treatment for depression and anxiety and he is under medication and better now but unfortunately he has lots of work pressure in organisation where he works. The team is not professionally qualified or experienced and manpower is also very less due to which there is wide gap between management expectation and delivery of results. Also his location is remote so employee turnover is also very quick.He is trying to change his current job so that he can have work life balance and hopes that work becomes enjoyable and relaxed but doesn’t get calls from recruiters/consultants so he often thinks if he should resign and search for jobs. He is 52 years of age, highly qualified chartered accountant with 25 + years of experience in a renowned organisation. But he is afraid about his future when he is at home. He has the responsibility of marriage of 3 children who are educated.What should he do? Should he continue in his current job with pressure and unhealthy work environment or resign and then search for a suitable job?
Ans:

Dear UC,

Your friend first needs to de-link his job from his familial responsibilities.

Once you link the two, the stress levels can hit the roof and that’s how the loop between anxiety and stress continues.

What is the point being so qualified, working and then coming home to build stress levels?

If stress did really cause anything positive, then by all means ask your friend to keep being stressed.

Maybe it is also time for him to think what else he can do with his expertise and his qualifications.

Post pandemic, the world is connected virtually and to be in a traditional workplace is no longer a requirement.

Do suggest to him that he can look at consulting, training and similar job descriptions that will allow him to connect virtually with people who need his services across the world.

Why be at the mercy of recruiters all the time?

When something does not work, it’s time to look for another way, another path to make things work.

No point applying and re-applying and getting dejected. Rejection forces a person to look for innovative solutions.

So, do tell your friend to first de-link work and home. They can co-exist.

In fact, family can become his biggest support in these times. And then ask him to think out of the box and look for newer opportunities.

Do wish him the best!

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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