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46 years old, fearing work due to technical limitations: How can I find happiness and confidence?

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  | Answer  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Krishna Kumar is the founder and CEO of GoMoTech, a company that provides strategic consulting in B2B sales, performance management and digital transformation.
Before branching out on his own, he worked with companies like Microsoft, Rediff, Flipkart and InMobi.
With over 25 years of experience under his belt, KK is a regular speaker at industry events and academic intuitions, both in India as well as abroad.
KK completed his MBA in marketing from the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning in Andhra Pradesh and his management development programme from XLRI, Jamshedpur.
He has also completed his LLB from Nagpur University and diploma in PR from Bhavan’s College of Management, Nagpur, where he was awarded a gold medal.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Dear Sir/ Madam. I am 46 years old working in a reputed organisation. I have around 24 years experience and have worked in big Multinational companies. My job is technical job and have earned and saved good money. I earn a monthly take home salary of Rs. 3 lakh currently . I can crack easily any interviews as my communication is very good. But I find it very difficult to perform technical job due to limitation in grasping things. I was a below average student as I find it very difficult to remember. I do drama in work place and survived 24 years. Because of this I am very unhappy. But now I am in a stage where I want to be myself and be happy without being afraid in work place. How can I improve so that I go to work and come back happily. Thanks for your advice in advance.

Ans: Hello

Now that you are aware of your situation...accept it as is and start working on to be your natural normal self... believe in yourself and most important don't fear losing job. Imposter syndrome happens because we fear losing things in life.

All the best in your new journey.
Career

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Dear Mayank,I am engineering graduate with 10+ years of experience in data centre operations.I have been working for an MNC for the last four years. The company is very good but I am not happy with my professional and personal growth.I am mentioning some issues which I feel restrict me from going ahead in my life and growing in my career.1. I come under pressure immediately. It could be because I want to make everyone happy.2. I get confused a lot. Although I have complete belief on my skills and strengths yet, sometimes, it feels like I am nothing.3. I forgot things very soon because of which I have to work really hard.4. Sometime, it feels that I am getting hopeless with things.5. I have a fluctuating mind. I have to make great effort to be focused.6. I cannot manage my time due to all this. As a result, neither my boss nor my family is happy.It would be great to have your guidance in solving these problems.Thanks and regards,Name withheld on request.
Ans:

Hi.

These are some practical things you can do to help you resolve most of the issues you shared.

1. Start your day early with some positive thoughts and physical activity. The way you begin your day determines how the rest of the day will go.

2. Spend quality time with your family.

3. Do practise some meditation or yoga as that will help you increase your concentration.

4. Keep your cell phone away from you when at work; check it once, for five minutes, every hour.

5. Find a good mentor at work with whom you can share your concerns openly.

6. Engage in your hobbies.

7. Get good quality sleep.

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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