नमस्ते, मैं अपनी दोस्त की मदद करना चाहता हूँ, इसलिए मुझे आपसे मार्गदर्शन चाहिए। उसका अविवाहित लड़के के साथ प्रेम संबंध था, वह उसका ख्याल रखता था और हमेशा हर समय उसके साथ खड़ा रहता था। लेकिन कुछ समय से वह कॉल न उठाने और संदेशों का जवाब न देने के लिए उसे डांटने लगा, लेकिन वह रिश्ते को संभालता रहा। देर रात तक बात करना, जब भी बात करना, लेकिन उस तरह से नहीं जैसे रिश्ते की शुरुआत में करता था। उससे मिलना। उनमें अक्सर झगड़े होते थे, जब वह देखती कि उसके फोन पर कुछ कॉल आ रहे हैं, तो वह उसे ऐसे डायवर्ट कर देता जैसे वह मेरी दीदी है या उसे कोई काम है वगैरह। ये रोज के झगड़े हो गए। अब वह उसके संदेशों को टालने लगा और अपने सुविधाजनक समय के अनुसार जवाब देने लगा। या रात में कॉल न उठाने पर कहता कि सो रहा है या व्यस्त है। और यह नहीं बताता कि वह कहाँ था, क्या वह कहीं और व्यस्त है। मैंने अपनी दोस्त से कहा कि वह खुद को इन चीजों से बाहर निकाले, लेकिन वह इन सब के कारण बहुत परेशान है। केवल 2 साल ही हुए हैं। उसे क्या करना चाहिए

मेरा दोस्त पिछले 13 साल से एक लड़की के संपर्क में है, वह उससे 12 साल छोटी है। वे एक कॉमन फ्रेंड के घर पर मिले और मेरा दोस्त उससे प्यार करने लगा। उनकी मुलाकात के समय, मेरी दोस्त शादीशुदा थी और वह अविवाहित थी, लेकिन किसी दूसरे लड़के के साथ रिश्ते में थी। कुछ समय बाद लड़की ने मेरे दोस्त की मदद से ही उसके बॉयफ्रेंड से शादी कर ली। उसे चोट लगी लेकिन किसी तरह उसने उसकी पसंद के लड़के से शादी करने में उसकी मदद की कुछ समय बाद लड़की का तलाक हो गया और मेरे दोस्त ने उसे इस झटके से उबरने के लिए भावनात्मक समर्थन प्रदान किया। इस अवधि के दौरान, वह मेरे दोस्त से फोन, घड़ियाँ, कपड़े, सोना आदि जैसी बहुत सी चीज़ें माँगने लगती है, यहाँ तक कि अगर वह बाहर से कुछ भी खाना चाहती है तो वह उसे बुला लेती है। लेकिन दूसरी ओर वह उसे नजरअंदाज कर देती है, जब वह अपने दोस्तों के साथ होती है और अजनबियों की तरह व्यवहार करना शुरू कर देती है और कारण बताती है जैसे, आप उसकी कंपनी के लिए बहुत बूढ़े हैं, उसका दोस्त उसके बारे में क्या सोचता है आदि। मेरा दोस्त उससे भावनात्मक रूप से बहुत जुड़ा हुआ है और उसके इशारों पर नाच रहा है। मेरे दोस्त मुझसे हर बात साझा करते हैं और मैं जानता हूं कि अगर वह उससे बात करना भी बंद कर दे तो वह पागल हो जाएगा। कई बार मैंने अपने दोस्त से इस बारे में चर्चा करने की कोशिश की, लेकिन वह पूरी तरह से उसके नियंत्रण में है। उसने मुझसे कहा, मैं उसकी मदद करना जारी रखूंगा, इसलिए वह उससे बात करती रहेगी। वे कभी शारीरिक नहीं हुए। यहां तक ​​कि मैंने उस लड़की से भी इस बारे में बात की थी कि तुम मेरे दोस्त के साथ ऐसा क्यों कर रही हो, हर बार वह जवाब देती थी कि वह अपने दोस्त की हैसियत से ऐसी चीजों की मांग करती है। वह (मेरा दोस्त) इनकार कर सकता है, अगर वह मेरी मदद नहीं करना चाहता, तो मेरे पास बहुत सारे विकल्प हैं। वह काम भी कर रही है और अच्छी कमाई भी कर रही है। अब मैं दुविधा में हूं कि मैं अपने दोस्त की मदद कैसे करूं।

Hello Anu Mam, I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...

Hello gurus.. I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...