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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |160 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Anirban Question by Anirban on Apr 12, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I'm a 19 year-old-boy and I have been in a relationship for 1 year. We know each other a lot as we're best friends before we decided to be couple. But due to some incidents I'm having trust issues. She is a little bit desirable with me only but I'm imagining if she gets intimated with any other due to her excitement or if she leaves me. I really want to trust her. I've experienced this before when I was in another relationship 5 years back. Maybe it's my past which is hovering. I don't know. I want to believe her. How can I ?

Ans: Dear Anirban,

It seems to be that you are having a little bit of a trust issue, which is normal at your age. But look, you have known your girlfriend for quite some time now. Is she capable of being dishonest with you? Yes, there are differences between being someone's best friend and someone's romantic partner, but the person and their innate nature stay more or less the same. You know her better than anyone. Ask yourself. If there is still some sliver of doubt, the best thing would be to have a clear and honest discussion about the same with her. Communicate to her, without sounding accusatory, that you have been feeling this way lately.

In my experience, if your gut tells you there's some reason to worry, there usually is. But you are young, and your intuitions can very well be clouded by emotions running high and insecurities that come with that age. The best course of action is to talk it out. You will have clarity.

And hey, your past is in the past. What happened there, and how you were or weren't treated cannot be the yardstick for everything that is happening and is yet to happen in your life. You are too young to hang back in the past.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |770 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

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Hi, my age is 19 years and I’m in a relationship for a couple of months. It’s too good in the beginning. We used to share everything about our pasts, family, and all and we’re still doing so. I know that her family is not good. She has lost her mother 2 years ago. She lives with her father, sister, granny and grandpa. Few months ago, she shared something with me. She told that one of her close relatives were trying to talk with her completely alone and he instructed her not to tell anyone about their conversation. That person told her many things about intimacy, lust and also tried to indicate that he wants her in the bed or something else, we don’t know. He told; “If you open yourself, I’ll open myself to the extreme”, “I have many investment planning on you”, “ you can’t control your hormones in this age” etc. But, after that incident, I became too protective. I’m always having a fear that somebody will hurt her or she is in danger. And during all this, I repeatedly kept telling her to wear dresses rightly, giving poses rightly like “you should not attract anyone with your eyes or show yourself desirable”. And She gets hurt and deleted the all of her photos available on social media. And also I have hurt sometimes emotionally by not trusting her. I don’t want to cage her but a fear is always running within me. Now, I’m having a fear that if she leaves me. It’s all my fault. I’m feeling that she is ignoring me sometimes but that’s not true as she cleared that she wants to stay with me. But I’m not getting over from that fear.
Ans: Dear Anirban,
It's sweet and nice of you to care for her and want to protect her only if she also wants it.
She has possibly started feeling that your actions are controlling and she seems to want to be free of that. So, anything you try even if it is for her own good will be misinterpreted.
Also, this statement as protective as it seems: “you should not attract anyone with your eyes or show yourself desirable”...it's not a very nice thing to say. You are suggesting that she is responsible for attracting unwanted male attention and that is something that she or any girl would not have liked to hear from you at all.
Kindly step aside and know that she can take care of herself. If she needs your help and assistance, she will call out to you...until then please let her decide for herself what she wants to do.
It's not that she doesn't know what's appropriate and not; so stop caging her with your thoughts and action.
If she appreciates what you are doing for her, she will reach out to you and till then also know that times have changed and it is not the fault of the woman for a man to behave the way he is...So, correct your mindset too and care for her from a distance for a while.

All the best
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |770 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 19, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I had an arrange marriage and married for 1.5 years, after marriage I came to know my wife is not virgin, she never told about her past relationship during our pre-wedding meetings for knowing each other and fixing marriage when I had asked her if she had any past relationship as I had told her I was never involved in a relationship. She was even in touch with him after marriage and had even invited him to our wedding though he did not come. Sometimes she said she had physical relationship out of curiosity, then changed her statement to that she loved him and then said that he used to force her to have physical relation. When confronted she deleted all contacts with him but I still not able to trust her though she says she loves me. I wanted to speak to her parents but my mother asked me to stay quiet. I have lost trust in her because she was never honest from the first day, what should I do, please guide me, this feeling is just killing me! Had she told about it to me in our meetings, I would have rejected thus alliance. Please guide me Anu, I need your help!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What seems to bother you more?
The fact that she is not a virgin or the fact that she hid it from you.
Why I ask this question is because it will help you evaluate your feelings stemming from which of the two it is...
I do understand that you feel cheated and there is significant amount of trust lost...
Also, I gather from you that you have strong feelings about chastity, purity etc and this is fair in your world as it is part of your core beliefs.
Now let's see things for what they are...she possibly didn't tell you because she knew that you might reject the proposal OR that she wanted to start afresh and many more OR she was forced into this marriage...But the fact that it has begun to eat at your peace of mind suggests that you must speak with her about it. Tell her exactly how you have felt being lied to.
Ask her if she still is interested in being in the marriage and ask yourself the same question. If there is any scope of reconciliation and putting this scene behind you, then it maybe worthwhile to rebuild the marriage from scratch. But if your belief comes in the way and you are unable to make peace with the fact that she hid this fact, everyday will be torturous.
Whatever the decision, I suggest talking it through together without blame games as this will only lead to anger and more conflict rather than leading to a decision point.

All the best!
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |152 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Currently, I am in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past 5 months. I have been in love with her for the past 5 years and she has been aware about it. We had a love hate relationship for the last 5 years where she had also dated another guy for a year in the middle. But after getting into a relationship with her, she came to know that I had gone out with other girls, while I had claimed that I was in love with her and could not be with anyone else as a result. She is aware that since we were not together, I was allowed to hangout with other females and maybe get a bit physically close to them, but now she cannot wrap her mind around the fact that I did those. The thought of me with someone else disturbs her, and she has a pretty hard time trusting me. We have had discussions at length and I have assured her multiple times that I am not going to do anything of that sort anymore but nothing seems to dissolve her uncomfortability towards it. I do love her the most and do anything for her and want this to work out and she claims to love me a lot as well. What do I do? How can I make her trust me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous, Please understand that trust is a delicate aspect of any relationship, and rebuilding it requires time, patience, and consistent effort from both partners. It's important to create an environment where both of you feel secure and valued. You must have heard action speaks louder than words demonstrate through your actions that you are committed to the relation. If you've promised to change certain behaviors, make sure you follow through. Reassure her of your love and commitment. Continue to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, concerns, and the reasons behind your past actions. Encourage her to express her thoughts and emotions as well. Make sure she feels heard and understood.
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Moneywize

Moneywize   |82 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Mar 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi
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What is comprehensive auto insurance policy? What are its benefits? What are the inclusions and non-inclusions if I want to know before buying a comprehensive auto insurance policy?
Ans: A comprehensive auto insurance policy in India offers the most extensive coverage for your car and any third-parties involved in an accident. It's like a two-wheeler for your car's security, providing protection for both your vehicle and your wallet.

Benefits of a Comprehensive Policy:

1. Peace of mind: Covers a wide range of situations, so you'll be financially protected in case of many unforeseen events.

2. Own Damage Cover: Pays for repairs or replacement of your car if it's damaged in an accident, by fire, theft, natural calamities, riots, or even falls victim to vandalism.

3. Third-Party Liability Cover: Takes care of any legal or financial liabilities you incur if your car causes injury, disability or death to a third party, or damages their property.

4. Personal Accident Cover (Optional): Provides financial assistance to you or your family in case of injury or death due to a car accident (depending on the policy terms).

What to Consider Before Buying:

Inclusions:

a. Most accidents (collision, hit and run)

b. Theft (partial or complete)

c. Fire damage

d. Natural disasters (floods, earthquakes, etc.)

e. Riots, strikes, and other man-made calamities

g. Third-party property damage and bodily injury

h. Personal accident cover (if opted for)

Non-inclusions:

a. Damages due to wear and tear

b. Driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs

c. Mechanical or electrical breakdown

d. Depreciation on parts replaced during repairs

e. Using the car for illegal purposes

Additional Tips:

1. Add-on Covers: Enhance your policy with optional extras like engine protection or zero depreciation cover for a more comprehensive safety net.

2. Compare Quotes: Get quotes from different insurance companies to find the best coverage and price for your needs.

Remember, a comprehensive policy offers superior protection compared to third-party only insurance, which is mandatory by law but only covers your liability towards third parties. For a secure ride on Indian roads, a comprehensive policy is the way to go.
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Sushil Sukhwani  |248 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Mar 28, 2024

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My daughter did her graduation in November 2023 from a top-ranked university in Canada - University of British Columbia, Vancouver (QS World Rank within 35). She is interested in a job in the fields of Artificial Intelligence and related software domains. She graduated with an interdisciplinary BSc in Cognitive Systems, including several courses from Computer Science, Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning, Neuroscience, etc.. Unfortunately, unlike in US universities, there's no Campus Placement facilities available in UBC and most Canadian universities. Please advise how to get into a job in this gloomy economic scenario, in Canada (USA is ruled out because OPT is not available for non-US university graduates).
Ans: Hello Indranil. Thanks for reaching out to us. Given your daughter's background in cognitive systems with coursework in computer science, Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning and Neuroscience from a prestigious institution like the University of British Columbia (UBC), she has a strong base for having a career in AI and related fields. Although no campus placement is challenging, there are ways to find a job while keeping in mind the gloomy economic condition.

1. Encourage your daughter to leverage her professional network, including alumni, professors, and industry contacts. Attending industry events, seminars, and meetups can provide valuable networking opportunities and help her connect with potential employers or mentors in the field of AI and software development.

2. An online presence, such as having an account on LinkedIn, is important. She can showcase her skills and achievements—both academic and extracurricular—so far, reach out to professionals,etc

For further assistance, you can get in touch with us
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