Hi, my age is 19 years and I’m in a relationship for a couple of months. It’s too good in the beginning. We used to share everything about our pasts, family, and all and we’re still doing so. I know that her family is not good. She has lost her mother 2 years ago. She lives with her father, sister, granny and grandpa. Few months ago, she shared something with me. She told that one of her close relatives were trying to talk with her completely alone and he instructed her not to tell anyone about their conversation. That person told her many things about intimacy, lust and also tried to indicate that he wants her in the bed or something else, we don’t know. He told; “If you open yourself, I’ll open myself to the extreme”, “I have many investment planning on you”, “ you can’t control your hormones in this age” etc. But, after that incident, I became too protective. I’m always having a fear that somebody will hurt her or she is in danger. And during all this, I repeatedly kept telling her to wear dresses rightly, giving poses rightly like “you should not attract anyone with your eyes or show yourself desirable”. And She gets hurt and deleted the all of her photos available on social media. And also I have hurt sometimes emotionally by not trusting her. I don’t want to cage her but a fear is always running within me. Now, I’m having a fear that if she leaves me. It’s all my fault. I’m feeling that she is ignoring me sometimes but that’s not true as she cleared that she wants to stay with me. But I’m not getting over from that fear.

Hi Anu, I have been going through your column on rediff for some time and I feel you will be able to help me out. I want your advice on my relationship with my girlfriend. We have been in the relationship for 3 years now. I love her a lot and see a future with her. But there are some issues. I think she has some mental health issues. I could never judge in what mood she is in. I look forward everyday to the time we talk or spend together but most often after the meet/ talk I feel low. She almost never misses to find mistakes in everything I do and she blames it on my immaturity since she is 3.5 years elder to me (I am 29). Very rarely I do find out eventually that her judgment was right but most often I feel in all sense she is irrational and I think I am correct. This has taken an emotional toll on me. Now I do not feel like sharing thoughts and things with her because of the fights and emotional toll that I would have to face. I love her a lot and it seems like she too does but might be, I am wrong. I tried breaking up with her thrice. But every time because of some or other urgency or work-related stuff when we reconnect we fall back deeply in love. We are in same field but different organization. I was earlier in the same organisation but she left as she got a better offer. It makes sense to me but sometimes I do feel she could have stayed in same organization). She has been asking me to marry her, but all these things stated above makes me nervous what might be in future if I do marry her. As I take time to think it out she puts it as if I never wanted to marry her. I seek your advice.

I am in relationship with a kind beautiful girl, hope we will get married , our families know eachother . But my gf was in relationship with someone in teenage and is getting blackmailed . She is afraid , she told me everything before , it's very confusing for me should I marry her , what if my family knows about it , he's blackmailing her and is telling her to not marry me otherwise he will share her private pics in social media . Should I be afraid , I love her and can wait for her , should I tell my family about this all. I really care for her and never judge for past relationship.

Me and my girlfriend we both are in relationship from about last 2 years (almost). After such a long time I got to know that she had 2 relationships before me that too she didn't told I got to know it by third person she was sexually involved too (not intercourse but yes other things with one of them)... When I asked her that why you didn't told anything to me before she said she was scared that if she'll tell it to me so I'll leave her and she really did not wanted that... She was scared to loose me. And she was still in contact with that guy and when I asked her that why you were still in contact with him (it's been around 3 years they got separated) so she says that she is like that only... She can't deny anyone because of her soft hearted nature but she did not had any feelings for him. She also said that once she even went to meet him when he requested to meet and also on the same she claims that her soft hearted nature has done that she wasn't able to deny. I loved her too much but now all these things are hurting me like anything. (She is my first relationship before her i never had anyone)