Hi, My GF of last 2 years gets attracted to men and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy and he kissed her once when they were drunk. Later they had a talk and she informed me that they chose to be friends, they are still talk to each other so are other male friends of her. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat. She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. After hours of discussion and me scolding her and she trying to justify her mental state, she promised me she will draw a circle which I am in and wont let anybody into that circle. She is in her early 30s. She has a crush another guy on insta and she plans to meet but she promised , he would just be friend. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above trait but she talked me back into relationship. Can I trust her?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Like you told your partner, she has the freedom to get out of the relationship and see any number of guys she wants to, but cheating is not an option. From how you described your relationship, the repeated pattern of cheating does not sound healthy at all. And there's nothing called almost cheating. As for trusting her, it depends on if she has always told you the truth. But then again, you also have to consider how her truth has made you feel.

Best Wishes!

Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.