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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |158 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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mahbuba Question by mahbuba on Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am in a relationship with a guy, we both are student of NIT. First, he didn't told me about his past relationships but nowadays he is telling me about his past and sometimes he lies. But i don't know how to trust him, i love him but i don't know what to do, he lies then after sometime he tells me the truth but i don't know is it true or not. Plz help me

Ans: Firstly why do you wish to know about someone's past? Past is for a reason. And what can you do if they had one or several relationships before they entered one with you. Focus on the present and on the now. You not trusting him is your issue, and it is difficult to love someone you do not trust - please have that clarity. All the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Relationship
Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |590 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2023

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I'm a 19 year-old-boy and I have been in a relationship for 1 year. We know each other a lot as we're best friends before we decided to be couple. But due to some incidents I'm having trust issues. She is a little bit desirable with me only but I'm imagining if she gets intimated with any other due to her excitement or if she leaves me. I really want to trust her. I've experienced this before when I was in another relationship 5 years back. Maybe it's my past which is hovering. I don't know. I want to believe her. How can I ?
Ans: Dear Anirban,

It seems to be that you are having a little bit of a trust issue, which is normal at your age. But look, you have known your girlfriend for quite some time now. Is she capable of being dishonest with you? Yes, there are differences between being someone's best friend and someone's romantic partner, but the person and their innate nature stay more or less the same. You know her better than anyone. Ask yourself. If there is still some sliver of doubt, the best thing would be to have a clear and honest discussion about the same with her. Communicate to her, without sounding accusatory, that you have been feeling this way lately.

In my experience, if your gut tells you there's some reason to worry, there usually is. But you are young, and your intuitions can very well be clouded by emotions running high and insecurities that come with that age. The best course of action is to talk it out. You will have clarity.

And hey, your past is in the past. What happened there, and how you were or weren't treated cannot be the yardstick for everything that is happening and is yet to happen in your life. You are too young to hang back in the past.

Best Wishes!

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |158 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2025

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Relationship
hi maam im 24 years old im from mumbai im in love with a guy who is from hyd and he is 28 years old we have been together since 1 year when i was in hyd he did many things which hurt me like falsely accusing me of cheating with my collegues who are elder to me coming to my office and fighting over there calling me nd abusing me but i let go off everything he did with me and he did many more things later we started to b in a long distance relationship he use to always say lets b good with eachother from now and lets forget our past but since the tym we r in long distance still he always accuse me of cheating and lying even when im saying the truth i never cheated on him even once and never even thought about it but he always accuse me of cheating always and everyday and since some days he is always behaving hot and cold with me im not able to understand anything this last sun he called me but i didnt lift the call due to some issues in my house so i called him the next day and he started to accuse me of cheating and lying when i was telling the truth i wanna leave him and move on but when ever i leave he comes back again he leaves me again he comes back im not able to understand what should i do now
Ans: you are in duress. a relationship as defined by you is not worth being in one. please break off, block him from all our touchpoints - social media/ phone etc...if need be change your phone number. heal yourself, focus on your self, become financially independent, feel good about yourself before you find your person.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4857 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 23, 2025

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1997 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on May 23, 2025

Career
My daughter has scored 85% with PCMB but did not perform well in NEET. She is not able think other than MBBS. I am trying to convince for Nursing. I feel that MBBS is very difficult a d required so much effort in life and requires more money to complete. She told me that wants to do MBBS only for Govt college. But I still feel - Is it worth becoming a doctor today and when there is no shortage of doctors. Also, We are NRI from Middle east. Is governemet seat Will seat be given to NRI student if they score well. Please advise if we could be eligible. I doubt for sometime on how to get score out of 650+ to get government seats when there any only and some 23 lakh student giving exam. We are plannig to do nursing from UAE as we live in UAE
Ans: Hello Imran.
You did not mention where your daughter wants to live, either in India or UAE. Here are the main points: (1) There is always a shortage of doctors. (2) Your view that MBBS is difficult is not true. (3) Support your daughter's decision over your own for now. (4) Give her a chance to take NEET; she could score over 650 if confident. (5) Many students are successful, so if everyone thinks negatively, who will become a doctor? (6) Keep nursing as an option after NEET results. If she scores well, she can get an NRI seat in a government medical college. Finally, respect her decision, support her, and help boost her confidence.
Ultimately- Respect the decision of your daughter, stand with her, provide good coaching and boost confidence time to time.
Best of luck to your daughter.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4857 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2025
Career
Sir, I got 207457 CRL rank in jee mains. I am a female from obc ncl. Homestate- jharkhand. Can I get any nit/IIIT lower branch?
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main/Advanced Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Have some other options also as back-ups instead of relying only on JEE/JoSAA.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions and a bright future!

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