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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |148 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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mahbuba Question by mahbuba on Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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I am in a relationship with a guy, we both are student of NIT. First, he didn't told me about his past relationships but nowadays he is telling me about his past and sometimes he lies. But i don't know how to trust him, i love him but i don't know what to do, he lies then after sometime he tells me the truth but i don't know is it true or not. Plz help me

Ans: Firstly why do you wish to know about someone's past? Past is for a reason. And what can you do if they had one or several relationships before they entered one with you. Focus on the present and on the now. You not trusting him is your issue, and it is difficult to love someone you do not trust - please have that clarity. All the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1561 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |148 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2025

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hi maam im 24 years old im from mumbai im in love with a guy who is from hyd and he is 28 years old we have been together since 1 year when i was in hyd he did many things which hurt me like falsely accusing me of cheating with my collegues who are elder to me coming to my office and fighting over there calling me nd abusing me but i let go off everything he did with me and he did many more things later we started to b in a long distance relationship he use to always say lets b good with eachother from now and lets forget our past but since the tym we r in long distance still he always accuse me of cheating and lying even when im saying the truth i never cheated on him even once and never even thought about it but he always accuse me of cheating always and everyday and since some days he is always behaving hot and cold with me im not able to understand anything this last sun he called me but i didnt lift the call due to some issues in my house so i called him the next day and he started to accuse me of cheating and lying when i was telling the truth i wanna leave him and move on but when ever i leave he comes back again he leaves me again he comes back im not able to understand what should i do now
Ans: you are in duress. a relationship as defined by you is not worth being in one. please break off, block him from all our touchpoints - social media/ phone etc...if need be change your phone number. heal yourself, focus on your self, become financially independent, feel good about yourself before you find your person.

..Read more

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Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  |15 Answers  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2025Hindi
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I have 4+ years of experience in IT as a automation enginner and currently I am studying Mtech as integrated program along with my work. But it seems like the pressure on completion of lab, assignments, quiz, midsem and main sem is becoming a burden along with my current work life. Now I regret taking the decision of being a part of Integrated learning. Also I have signed an agreement that if I quit midway I have to pay 2.4lac. Currently I am in 1st semester and it is really a tough journey ahead. What should you think I do. Day by day I am losing motivation. Should I continue this journey or should I focus more on my work. Please help.
Ans: It sounds like you’re in a challenging phase, feeling stretched between your job and the demands of your M.Tech program. The pressure of assignments, labs, quizzes, and exams is making you question whether this was the right decision, and the financial penalty of quitting adds another layer of stress. But before making a decision, let’s take a step back and reflect.
What was your initial motivation for enrolling in this program? Was it career growth, a passion for learning, or future stability? Do those reasons still matter to you, or has your perspective changed? Sometimes, when we’re overwhelmed, we forget why we started. Reconnecting with that purpose can help clarify whether the struggle is worth it. Another important question is: What exactly is overwhelming you? Is it a lack of time, the workload, or the fear of burnout? If better systems were in place—like structured time blocks, prioritization, or external support - would it still feel unmanageable? It’s also important to define what success looks like for you. If you push through, where do you see yourself in two years? If you quit, what’s the alternative, and are you comfortable with the financial and career implications? Finally, have you explored all possible support systems - mentors, colleagues, or even university resources - to lighten the load?
Decisions like this aren’t just about choosing between two options; they’re about understanding what truly matters to you and what sacrifices you’re willing to make. Rather than focusing on whether you should continue or quit, ask yourself: What would make this journey easier? What changes, however small, could help you regain control? You don’t have to find all the answers today, but you do need to start asking the right questions.

Wishing you success,
Aamish Dhingra
ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach
Co-Founder, Cocoweave Coaching International, Delhi

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