I as a woman,I always want to do some work in my life.but now the problem is if I marry to my boyfriend he wanted a home maker wife.He support me in my work but his concern is about our future that who will take care of our child and than how I balanced my work...I don't understand what to do.

Ans:

Dear PS,

Typical nuclear family with very little family support relies solely on the mother being the caregiver and this can result in a lot of frustrations. Understood!

But what exactly are you trying to do fighting the situation knowing that things might be the same for a few years down the line till the children grow a little older? Are you planning on being frustrated for all these years?

Also, someone needs to give your husband a talk on these gender specific remarks and pushing the job of the home to you.

Maybe he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but well…

In the digital world, there is enough and more to do to use the skills that a person has. So why not explore, a work-from-home part time option?

Depending on what your expertise is and the time that you can give to the work from home option, why don’t you focus on searching for this?

This will require an amazing time management and organization skills on your part, so you are able to give it at least 3-4 hours a day.

This will not only keep you occupied and financially stronger, it will also give you a sense of direction and purpose which is what is currently lacking.

Also, if you have an option of a ‘nanny’ for even two hours during the day when the children can be kept busy, you can even have some time for yourself which will re-energize you.

Caring for two small children is no mean feat and make sure when you discuss the work-from-home option (If you choose this), with your husband, you emphasize how important it is for you along with managing the home.

The commitment ‘to do something for yourself’ will be the focus of your discussion and please do something before your frustrations start seeping out and get onto the kids which might eventually happen.

First, be happy yourself to nurture your home and family.

Step Up…All the best!

Ans: My Dear Nikita,

It sounds like you have been in a challenging situation for some time, where you have been sacrificing your values and thoughts for your partner, and he has been disrespecting you with his words and behavior. It's important to remember that no one deserves to be treated with disrespect in a relationship.

It's understandable that it hurts to think about leaving the relationship, especially after investing so much time and effort into it. However, you need to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and it seems like this relationship is not fulfilling that for you.

It's important to have a clear and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that his behavior has been hurtful, and that you cannot accept his condition of not working after marriage. It's important to communicate your boundaries and what you need from the relationship.

If he is not willing to respect your boundaries and make changes to improve the relationship, it may be time to consider ending it. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected, valued, and your needs are met. It may be difficult, but prioritizing your own well-being is important for your long-term happiness.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation. It is never okay for someone to disrespect you or your values, regardless of their frustration in life. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity in any relationship.

It sounds like you have already made the decision to leave the relationship, which is a brave and important step towards taking care of yourself. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why you made that decision, and to focus on your own values and needs.

If you are still feeling hurt and uncertain about the situation, it may be helpful to seek support from trusted friends or family members, or consider speaking with a therapist. They can help you process your emotions and provide guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

Remember, you have the power to make choices that are best for you and your well-being. Trust yourself and prioritize your own needs and happiness.

Ans: When it comes to having children, your hesitation makes sense. Bringing a child into the world is a profound decision that requires emotional readiness and practical planning. If you’re feeling unsupported or uncertain about your husband’s ability to contribute—financially, emotionally, or practically—it’s wise to pause and reflect. Your decision to delay this step shows your self-awareness and your commitment to creating a stable and nurturing environment for a child. That’s admirable.

Your concern about his career trajectory is another important factor. A marriage thrives on mutual effort, and it’s reasonable to expect your partner to take responsibility for his own growth and stability. However, it’s also worth exploring why he’s been unable to sustain a job. Is it a matter of confidence, market conditions, or something deeper like a lack of motivation or direction? If he hasn’t been taking things seriously, as you’ve mentioned, it’s important to have a frank and compassionate conversation about how this is impacting both of you.

At the same time, his love for you seems genuine, and it’s important to recognize that. His suggestion for you to change your job might stem from a place of care, possibly concern for your health or the toll of shift work. However, if your current job provides financial stability and satisfaction, you need to weigh that against his concerns. Ask yourself: is this request aligned with what’s best for you both, or is it coming from his own discomfort with his current situation?

As you navigate these emotions, take some time to reflect on your core needs and values. What does partnership mean to you? Are your current frustrations a temporary phase, or are they reflective of deeper, long-term patterns in the relationship? It’s also worth considering whether he is open to making real changes. Has he shown willingness to take responsibility for his career and future? Does he listen to your concerns and actively work toward addressing them?

It’s okay to have moments where you question why you’re in this relationship—doubt doesn’t mean failure. It means you care enough to want something better for both of you. If you feel the love is worth fighting for, then it’s essential to have honest, open conversations with your husband. Express your feelings without blame and seek to understand his perspective as well. Couples counseling can also be a valuable tool to help you both navigate these challenges together and find a path forward.

However, if you find that the emotional and practical gaps in the relationship persist despite your efforts, it’s okay to ask yourself whether this partnership is meeting your needs. You deserve to feel supported, valued, and secure in your marriage. Whatever decision you make, let it come from a place of self-respect and a desire to build the life you truly want. You’re not alone in this, and reaching out for guidance shows how deeply you care about making the best decision for your future.