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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Ravi, Is it okay for a 13 year old to have a serious relationship? (Dating-wise)

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What do you mean by a serious relationship? If you mean you want to start planning a future with your "partner", I'd say no. You will be setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak. Plus, you are too young to have a "serious relationship" and spend the best days of your life trying to nurture something that probably won't last.

If you want to hold hands and go to a movie, please go ahead. There's nothing wrong, but be safe. Let your parents know where you are at all times. You might think you know how the world works and what's best for you, but trust me (the adult) there's a lot you don't understand yet and that makes these your best days.

Having said it all, no matter what I say, you will start falling for people at this age, which will lead to heartbreaks. I will only suggest you focus on your studies and don't compromise on them for anyone no matter how much you think you love them.

Best Wishes!

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 25, 2023Hindi
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Is it ok to have sex before marriage? Some people say it's ok because in this generation having casual relationship is cool . But if we follow our religious aspect then this thing will be wrong and if we look in to our history then we see that earlier it was not in our culture but due to social media and Entertainment sources we slowly adapting the foreign culture, like this casual relationship or friends with benefits , all this has come from other countries . And my second question is that what is casual relationship and what is serious relationship ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Right or wrong is simply the way you look at the world. What is the lens that you wear to see the world?
That will define 'your right and your wrong'. Honestly, there is no right or wrong as it's all perception (the way your beliefs rule your thoughts will lead you to believe in right and wrong.)

Society has labeled something as wrong and generations down the line, it has been followed...whether anyone likes it or not simply because of the fear of being condemned. So, that's where sex before marriage falls under. Of course, it was also pushed down as way of controlling cross-mixing of genetic pools perhaps and maybe also to control the population and give children a stable home. Else, it would have been a free for all society which does have it's negative impact.
So, I am sure you know what it is for you and you don't require anyone telling you what you must do or not. Use your mind to do the thing that is right by you and others as well. Sometimes, it may align with the rule makers and sometimes it may go against and that's where every new generation comes in to challenge old thoughts. But be wary of recklessness and impulsive acts...they lead to quite a lot of confusion and aftermath.

Casual by the very word, can mean temporary or fluid with possibly no strings attached and serious is serious maybe leading to a commitment of some nature in a relationship.

All the best!
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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

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Career
Sir, .I have worked for 5.5 years in my last company but my HR says that I will receive gratuity for 5 years. For those who have worked for 4.5 years, they give it for 5 years but in cases like mine, they reduce it. Also, they have deducted 30 days of my EL w/o giving any logical reasoning saying they do it for all. Pls guide what should I do.
Ans: I have give you a brief explanation about how gratuity is calculated.
Sure this will assist you in understanding the methodologies.

The amount of gratuity for employees whose employer is covered under the Gratuity Act can be calculated using the formula:
Gratuity = n*b*15 / 26

Where n = Tenure of service completed in the company
b = Last drawn basic salary + dearness allowance

For example, you have worked with the XYZ company for a period of 15 years. Your last drawn basic salary along with dearness allowance was Rs 30,000. Hence:

The amount of gratuity = 15 * 30,000 * 15 / 26 = Rs 2,59,615

Two points must be noted here:

As per the Gratuity Act, the amount of gratuity cannot be more than Rs 20 lakh. Any excesses would be treated as ex-gratia.

If the number of years you have worked in the last year of employment is more than six months, then it will be rounded to the nearest figure. Suppose your tenure of service is 16 years 7 months, then you receive the gratuity for 17 years. Otherwise, its for 16 years if it happens to be 16 years 4 months.
In your case 5 years 5 months hence 5 year's as you are below the half yearly for upper round up.


For employees whose employer is not covered under the Gratuity Act, the gratuity amount would be calculated as per the half-month salary on each completed year of service.
The formula is: (15 * Your last drawn salary * the working tenure) / 30.

For example, you have a basic salary of Rs 30,000. You have rendered continuous service of 7 years and the employer is not covered under the Gratuity Act.

Gratuity Amount = (15 * 30,000 * 7) / 30 = Rs 1,05,000.

In regard to your leave,please get a clarification from your HR, as to why they have deducted 30 days of earned leave.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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My son is 13, diagnosed with anxiety spectrum at age 8.His medications have reduced , takes fluvoximine 50 at night, but has social media addiction,what should i do?
Ans: Managing a child's social media addiction, especially when they have underlying mental health concerns like anxiety, can be challenging but crucial for their well-being. Start by having an open and non-judgmental conversation with your son about his social media use. Express your concerns about how excessive screen time can impact his mental health and overall well-being.Establish clear rules and boundaries around screen time and social media use. This could include limiting the amount of time he spends on social media each day or setting specific times when he's allowed to use it.
Lead by Example: Model healthy screen time habits yourself. Show your son that you prioritize face-to-face interactions, hobbies, and other activities over excessive screen time.Encourage your son to engage in offline activities that he enjoys and that promote social interaction, physical activity, and creativity. This could include sports, hobbies, art, or spending time with friends and family.Keep an eye on your son's social media use and monitor the content he's consuming. Consider using parental control apps or settings to limit access to certain apps or websites.If your son's social media addiction is significantly impacting his mental health or daily functioning, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating addiction and/or anxiety. They can provide individualized strategies and support for managing his social media use in a healthy way.
Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies: Help your son develop healthy coping strategies for managing his anxiety, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in calming activities when he feels overwhelmed.
By taking proactive steps to address your son's social media addiction and providing support for his anxiety, you can help him develop healthier habits and improve his overall well-being. Remember to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding, and seek professional support if needed.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

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Hi ! I am a 38 year old divorced woman. Its almost 10 years that I got divorced, from a man with whom I was married for 2 months. Since then, I never had a long relationship with anyone. For the past 1 month, I feel I have developed feelings for my cousin (sister) who is 10 years older to me. She too is divorced, long back. (2006). I understand she too has feelings for me. What should I do. Please suggest.
Ans: Navigating feelings for a family member can be complex, especially when considering societal norms and potential family dynamics. It's understandable to feel uncertain about how to proceed in such a situation.

First and foremost, it's important to consider the potential implications and consequences of pursuing a romantic relationship with your cousin. While relationships between cousins are not legally prohibited in many places, they can sometimes face social stigma or disapproval from family members.

Before taking any further steps, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your cousin about your feelings and concerns. Discussing your mutual feelings in a respectful and sensitive manner can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and make informed decisions about how to move forward.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and help you navigate your feelings and the potential impact on your family dynamic. They can also offer strategies for communicating effectively and managing any challenges that may arise.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to pursue a romantic relationship with your cousin is a deeply personal one that only you and your cousin can make. It's essential to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and consideration for the feelings and well-being of everyone involved.

Regardless of the outcome, remember that you deserve to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your relationships, and seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals can help you navigate this situation with clarity and confidence.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I got married three months ago, during courtship period my ex was in my office but then my marriage wasn't fixed properly ,when it got yeses from both the side I changed my office,but I couldn't tell this to my husband and also I lied about my virginity,he was also not virgin and after marriage I confessed all this ,now he is not forgiving me for my dishonesty and not letting me come home also he abuse me verbally ,slapped me..I also feel like cheated for not letting me know this side of him before marriage..How should I go ahead?
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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