Hi Ravi, I am single and active on multiple dating apps. However, I have never really had the courage to spend the night with a guy I have only met or known for a little while. I have noticed that a lot of boys move on after the first date if you act too tight. I am just being safe. How do I explain this without offending someone who may be genuine?

Hi Anu, How are you? Hope you are doing well. So my situation is: I'm 23 years old. Due to my extremely toxic past experiences in relationships, I chose to be single to bring a balance in my life. I have been single for almost a year now. But last month I was on a sabbatical. I had travelling plans but I had to cancel everything due to the rise in the covid19 pandemic. I joined a dating app (I swore that I would never use a dating app. But then this year I wanted to do something that I would never consider doing. So I decided to join a dating app just to see what goes in there). I wasn't looking for any relationship or anything like that. I was mostly fine with my single life (except the physical intimacy part of course). Then I got matches with guys. But I had no interest in any of them. I chatted with a couple of them but got bored within minutes. I matched with a guy and started talking to him. He seemed nice from the start. I could connect with him very easily. We were on an equal intellectual level. But that was just day 1. From day2, he was not really into the conversation. He was only answering my questions, not really asking anything. But while talking, he clearly told me that he wasn't into relationships or dating currently as he broke up 1 year ago and needed time to clear his mind space. I didn't really care about all this stuff since I wasn't looking for anything at all. But his prosaic interview type answers were very irritating and I had to get back to my work too. So I deleted my profile without apprising him anything and by that time we already connected on IG. But after that conversation, he was kind of all over my mind. It was really difficult for me to focus on my work for the next 2-3 days. So I thought if I text with him for 2-3 days, I would be fine probably. But when I texted him on IG, he wasn't surprised that I’d deleted my profile on that dating app without even telling him anything. Moreover, he was texting in a very formal manner. After a while, he stopped replying. I didn't text after that. I was done with him.Since that day, my mind has been craving for his attention. I know that he isn't the guy I should spend my time with no matter how good I found him initially. But my focus and concentration is really getting affected by his thoughts. On VDay I thought maybe he was going to ask me out(because last month he made it conspicuous that he was going to meet me on V -day). But he is a ghost now. Please tell me how do I erase his thoughts from my mind totally so that I can focus on my work as I have piles of work to get done.

I went on a bad date and I don't want to do it again. How can I thank the person and refuse politely without offending them?

I am 32, unmarried and I am new to dating. I am really struggling to approach a man for a date. I am average looking and find it difficult to start a regular romantic conversation with a stranger. I don't want to look or sound desperate. Can you please help?

On a date, I discuss the topic of past relationships and personal baggage. I maintain my approach with sensitivity and tactfully after realising my date's comfort level and openness to discusse such topics. I share my experiences in a respectful and non-judgmental manner, emphasizing whatever I have learned and how it shaped me. As the conversation progresses, she actively listen and responded mindfully. In turn, she reciprocated by sharing her own stories, creating a space of mutual understanding and empathy between us. For example, when she recounted a difficult period of self-discovery after ending a long-term relationship, I listened intently, offering validation and support without judgment. Overall, our conversation about past relationships and personal baggage served foundation for a meaningful and authentic relationship built on mutual trust. How can I ensure that our connection continues to grow in a healthy and authentic manner, aligned with these goals?