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Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |25 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on May 25, 2023

Pandurang Question by Pandurang on May 25, 2023

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Hello,My name is Panduran, age 60.Two years back I have undergone cervical surgery to C2 to C5 . Before surgery I was having numbness and weakness in both the palm and arms.After surgery my left hand is very stiff and I am feeling heavy ness on my left shoulder.Doctor says I have to bear this pain I am on prescribed medicines since two years.Pl advise.
Ans: It is possible that the pain is a complication of some nerve involvement during the surgery and therefore may be irreversible. However, before you give up you may want to take another opinion of a spine/neurosurgeon. Physiotherapy may also have a role in improving the discomfort.
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Nidhi

Nidhi Gupta  |65 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 08, 2023

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I had frozen shoulder problem as told to me in my left hand and from November, 2020 to August, 2021 i consulted various reputed orthopedic surgeons and even got treatment from Safdarjang Sports Injury Centre New Delhi and as per advice got physiotherapy treatment for full one year but to no avail. Then in September, 2020 i consulted one of the top most Ortho Surgeons who after xray etc. told me that he will give me two injections(whereas he gave three such injections) and my problem will be got with physio treatment in three months but from day one his physio told him that my shoulder is very stiff and only solution is to get MRI done and then operation be done which was done in October, 2020 and I was told that after five week physio i will be ok but even after operation there was so much pain at the time of physio and afterwards that i could not have sleep for 20/22 hours and then Doctor extended time limit to two months and then to three months but even after five months there was no relief. ultimate i stopped treatment and consulted another ortho in south delhi reputed hospital he told me that my veins were weak and at the first place i stopped hard core physio and that surgery was not a best option. Though after I stopped physio and started doing light exercises at home there is slight improvement but at times i have great pain at lower of my shoulder/shoulder and upper half portion of left hand. It is one year since i have started treatment from present ortho. What to do?
Ans: Hello Ravinder,
What did your MRI and x-ray show? What was the operation done exactly for?
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2023
Relationship
I am a 45 years old Indian living in the US for the past 10 years with the family. Despite having a steady job and a pay which typically is considered high, I end up spending more than my income. My wife also works full time with good pay as well but she thinks it's my responsibility to provide and she just saves all her money in her own accounts. We have multiple properties on both our names including cars but only I pay. I pay for groceries, bills, travel everything. On discussing about the expenses, which I have done multiple times so far, she says I should be ashamed to expect money from a woman. If this continues, I will reach retirement age kind of broke I feel. Also, I will spend sleepless nights thinking about finances until then. Please advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like in any partnership, marriage is one such partnership where everything is usually shared. But I do know of couples, where they mutually agree that one partner takes care of the bills and the other education etc.
In your case, your wife has been saving up and you have been bleeding dry of your finances.
But why exactly are you spending more than your income? Financial mismanagement? Maybe that's why your wife is worried that it might happen to her portion of the income too?
Having said that, I guess your wife also needs to move past the belief that the Man is solely responsible for bringing money home. By that logic, she should never have worked, right?

Since she is working as well, she can contribute towards the family to the extent it can help but it is also imperative that as a woman she keeps some finances saved as a back-up for herself. It provides a good safety blanket for a woman since she possibly feels that you are spending more than what you earn.
It's up to you to bring about the subject without her feeling that you are out to spend all her money. So, you really need to start with managing your finances better...I am sure things will get better from thereon...

All the best!
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

Relationship
Hi Anu, I hope you're doing well. I'm a 24 year old girl working as a software engineer. I was in love with a boy in long distance relationship and I met him only once. We both had great understanding, respect on each other. It was all good between us. On February 2023, he called me one day saying that he wants to tell his parents about our love matter. I said okay and asked him what he wanted to do if his family disagrees. He said that he'll wait until his family approves. I was okay with it and he informed to his family. But things started changing after he talked with his family. He wanted to break up with me. I told him many times that I wanted to be with him and don't want to break up. But, he didn't agree. Eventually, we stopped talking with each other. It was hard for me to move on but after few months, i finally decided to move on with my life. Then suddenly he messaged me saying that he wants to get back with me. I didn't agreed as I lost my trust on him. He even informed his family about getting back with me and they were okay with it. He wants to marry me. But, now the problem is I still like him, but I lost trust in him. I wanted to give him a chance but I'm afraid because of past break up with him. I'm confused about what should I do? Anu, can you please suggest me about giving him a chance or moving on with my life?
Ans: Dear Mahi,
Thank you for asking. I am doing well and trust that you too will be in the same space as well.
When what he has done has broken your trust, it is difficult to get it back... he has come back, but you are perhaps thinking: what if he pulls the same stunt again? And this makes you question every move of his...

If you look at it from his point of view, he possibly also loves you but his family pressures are getting to him and he can do only that much. Yes, it would have been more 'human' to talk to you about what had happened after he spoke with his family. But he chose not to and that lack of transparency is what has thrown you off...perhaps, he isn't all that mature emotionally or feels that he might lose you if he shares anything.

Whatever it is, your loss of trust on him is justified after the way he had behaved. If the two of you still want to give your relationship a chance, kindly do so...and clearly state to him that you have lost trust on him. Not only does he have explaining to do but he must reassure you that he will be honest with you in future. Also, give some time before committing to a marriage while you watch whether he has changed and he is consistent with what he has committed to changing. Only when you are sure, take a decision either way!

All the best!
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

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