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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1647 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 10, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship

Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married as the society will insult our parents. I am getting married in November only for my parents but I have already made up my mind that I'll divorce him after 1 year of mairrage and will live my life alone. Am I thinking right? What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, you are not thinking right at all...This man is all RED FLAGS...
Are you actually thinking of spending one year with a person who physically abuses you? Seriously?
And then you expect him to agree to that divorce without any fuss? What world are you in? No compromises on your life please...
Be wise and protect yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello..I am 36 hrs old, a doctor, got married for 2nd time in Apr 2022. My 1st marriage was with a doctor in 2011 but we hardly stayed together for 1 month since he was away in another state for higher education. Indifference arose and we got separated soon after 6 months and got divorced 5 yrs later. Then i did job on off and finally finished my post graduation in 2024. During my post graduation i wanted to desperately get married for 2nd time as my age was increasing and i was feeling very lonely and wanted to settle down n have kids. I met a guy (he too a doctor and divorced) on matrimony. He approached me. We started talking, meeting. Everything was going good. But his mother was against our relationship. In between the guy too cut the contact with me. But i was wo trully in love with him that I wanted to marry him only. Somehow we got connected again. He came to my place and we lived together. He said he can't get married so soon. He said he would marry me only of i wl get pregnant.then i got pregnant and finally he married me in temple. Soon i delivered our child and his parent's accepted me n i went to his house to stay. There we used to have lots of fights as he revealed his true nature of being extremely KANJUS. his whole family was extremely kanjus. My husbnd doesn't like to spend a single Rs too and he doesn't like it if i spend my money too. We used to have frequent fights. Then hardly after 2 months, his mother called my parents and she told them that their sje could not tolerate me and i should leave tbeor house ASAP! I became very furious as my baby was jst 4 months old. Where would i stay alone with my child as i was studying. I called police to intervene and my mother in law got very angry, she cursed me in front of police- she called me a pros***ute. (This was her thinking- any woman who marries for 2nd time is a pros***ute!!!) Finally that night around 10pm i left her house with my child and some essentials. My parents stayed with me to look after my child. My husbnd kept visiting me on weekends. But my husbnd used to avoid me, block my calls. He never paid for my daughter's expenses too. A year have been passed. I have sent my baby to my parents house 6 months back as they wanted to go back as they stay in different state. Now my husbnd has cut all the ties, he has blocked me everywhere and he never called to enquire about our child in last 8-9 months. Last time when my father called him- he said he didn't wanna stay with me and I either can keep our child with me or i can give the child to him for rest of the life. I slipped into depression after all these. I messed up in my exams. I'm so disturbed that i had thought of ending my life many times but i reminded myself about my child. Now I don't know what to do. I talked him about divorce but he said he won't give me a single Rs aftr divorce since i am also earning. My parents too don't want me to go for a divorce 2nd time in my life as they are worried- our relatives and society will shame them. I want to bring my child back but i am worried- how will i take care of my baby since i am working. Please help. Keep me anonymous please.
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation, but please know that there are options available to you and support systems that can help you through this.

Firstly, it's important to prioritize your and your child's safety and well-being. Given the circumstances, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice from a lawyer who specializes in family law. They can help you understand your rights and options regarding custody, child support, and divorce.

Regarding your depression, it's crucial to seek professional help. Depression is a serious condition that requires treatment, and there are therapists, counselors, and support groups available to provide you with the support you need.

In terms of bringing your child back, you may need to explore options for childcare that accommodate your work schedule. This could include hiring a nanny, enrolling your child in daycare, or seeking help from family members or friends.

As for the societal pressure and fear of judgment from relatives, remember that your well-being and your child's well-being are the most important considerations. It's essential to prioritize your own happiness and safety rather than worrying about the opinions of others.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to support services such as hotlines, counseling services, or support groups for assistance and guidance. You're not alone, and there are people who can help you navigate through this challenging time.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married What should I do
Ans: Dear Akriti,
After reading your question I can only give you one advice, please do not marry him no matter what people say. Even if we overlook every other red flag that he has exhibited, abuse of any form is unacceptable. Why are you trying to convince your parents to marry a guy who hits you? Do you think you deserve it or anyone, for that matter, deserves that?
Now, no matter who tries to manipulate you, or however much they try to convince you, get out of the relationship for the love and self-respect you have for yourself. It is a big decision but in your case, it is worth making that big decision. I'd normally never tell people they should this or they shouldn't do that, but in your case, no sane person would ever suggest you marry this man and be subjected to abuse for the rest of your life.

Please make the right choice.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married What should I do
Ans: Dear Akriti,
After reading your question I can only give you one advice, please do not marry him no matter what people say. Even if we overlook every other red flag that he has exhibited, abuse of any form is unacceptable. Why are you trying to convince your parents to marry a guy who hits you? Do you think you deserve it or anyone, for that matter, deserves that?

Now, no matter who tries to manipulate you, or however much they try to convince you, get out of the relationship for the love and self-respect you have for yourself. It is a big decision but in your case, it is worth making that big decision. I'd normally never tell people they should this or they shouldn't do that, but in your case, no sane person would ever suggest you marry this man and be subjected to abuse for the rest of your life.
Please make the right choice.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Money
Hi I am 46.working in Pvt sector. Able to save 10000rs per month. Don't have much savings or investment. Kindly guide me how to invest this amount to build up a good corpus in coming 10 years
Ans: You are 46 years old and saving Rs.10,000 every month. You want to create a strong investment plan for the next 10 years. You do not have much existing savings. That’s perfectly okay. You are ready to act now. That’s what matters.

Here is a detailed, simple, and practical 360-degree plan.

? Understand your financial starting point
– You are 46 years old, working in private sector.
– You are able to save Rs.10,000 monthly.
– You have minimal past savings or investments.
– You have not mentioned any LIC, ULIP, or insurance-based investments.
– You are now planning for a better financial future in 10 years.

That’s a great and timely decision.

? Clarify your financial goals
– Think about what you want after 10 years.
– Is it retirement? Or a second income source?
– Or your child’s higher education or marriage?
– Having a clear goal helps in better investment planning.
– You can define your goal in simple terms.
– Also, prioritise between must-have goals and good-to-have goals.

This brings better clarity and commitment.

? Monthly savings are your superpower
– Rs.10,000/month may look small. But it’s powerful.
– In 10 years, it can create meaningful wealth.
– Consistency is more important than amount.
– Keep saving without breaks.
– Even in tough months, try not to skip SIPs.

Discipline is your biggest strength now.

? Emergency fund is your safety net
– You should first build a safety buffer.
– Set aside 6 months of your monthly expenses.
– If monthly expense is Rs.30,000, build Rs.1.8 lakh buffer.
– Start with Rs.1 lakh in savings and liquid fund.
– Keep 30% in savings bank. Keep 70% in liquid fund.
– Avoid fixed deposits. Early withdrawal charges reduce returns.
– Liquid funds are better than savings.
– They offer next-day withdrawal and better returns.

Build emergency fund first. Then start investing for long-term goals.

? Avoid index funds for long-term wealth creation
– Index funds are unmanaged. They just copy the market index.
– They don’t protect you during falling markets.
– They drop fast during crashes.
– They don’t adjust to changing market conditions.
– You need smart fund management for long-term growth.
– Actively managed funds are better.
– They are run by professional fund managers.
– These managers buy or sell based on research.
– You benefit from their market insights.
– In India, actively managed funds have outperformed index funds.

Index funds may look cheap. But they cost returns in long run.

? Avoid direct plans if you are not an expert
– Direct plans don’t give you guidance.
– You must decide fund, amount, changes, rebalancing – all on your own.
– No help during volatile markets.
– No suggestions when your goals change.
– Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) give guidance.
– You get support in fund selection and goal planning.
– CFPs help you avoid costly mistakes.
– They also review your portfolio regularly.
– Regular plans help you stay invested calmly.
– Investing is not just numbers. It’s also behaviour.

Handholding matters more than small expense ratio difference.

? Begin with 2–3 strong equity mutual funds
– Start with only 2 or 3 diversified equity funds.
– Choose Flexi Cap and Large & Midcap categories.
– These give good mix of large and mid companies.
– Add a Balanced Advantage Fund for market stability.
– These funds shift between equity and debt automatically.
– You don’t need to monitor markets daily.
– Avoid sector funds, international funds, thematic funds.
– They are risky and not suitable for your stage.
– Don’t try to pick many funds.
– Few good funds are enough.

Over-diversification leads to confusion, not better returns.

? Allocate SIP amounts with simplicity
– You can start SIP of Rs.4,000 in Flexi Cap fund.
– Rs.3,000 in Large & Midcap fund.
– Rs.3,000 in Balanced Advantage fund.
– Total = Rs.10,000/month.

This is simple and powerful allocation.

? Increase SIPs every year
– Try to increase your SIPs by 5–10% yearly.
– If income rises, increase investments first before expenses.
– Even Rs.1,000 extra per year makes a big difference.
– Over 10 years, this boosts final corpus strongly.

Growth in SIP is more important than one-time investments.

? Keep equity investments long term
– Don’t withdraw before 10 years.
– Let the money grow through compounding.
– Equity markets have ups and downs.
– But they reward patient investors over time.
– If you panic in short term, you lose returns.

Time is your best friend in equity.

? Avoid investment-linked insurance policies
– Don’t mix insurance with investment.
– LIC policies, endowment plans, ULIPs give poor returns.
– They promise returns, but deliver less than inflation.
– Keep insurance separate and simple.
– Buy term insurance if not already taken.
– Premium is low, cover is high.

Investment-cum-insurance products dilute both goals.

? Review portfolio every year
– Fund performance must be tracked once a year.
– Change the fund if it underperforms for 2 years.
– Rebalance if one fund grows too big.
– Your Certified Financial Planner will help with review.
– Don’t switch funds often. Review, not react.

Long-term success comes from patience and planning.

? Understand tax impact of mutual funds
– Long Term Capital Gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
– Short Term Capital Gains are taxed at 20%.
– For debt funds, both gains are taxed as per your tax slab.
– Plan your withdrawals smartly.
– Take help of your CFP before redeeming.

Tax planning can save you big money.

? Stay away from risky investments
– Don’t invest in stock tips or small companies.
– Don’t try F&O or day trading.
– Stay away from chit funds and ponzi schemes.
– Don’t follow friends or relatives blindly.

Stick to mutual funds with professional guidance.

? Stay consistent with your plan
– Don’t stop SIPs due to short-term events.
– Avoid taking emotional decisions based on news.
– Focus on your goals, not market noise.
– Investing is like growing a tree.
– Give time, water it regularly, don’t uproot.

Consistency builds wealth quietly and surely.

? Create financial discipline in your life
– Avoid unnecessary expenses.
– Track your income and spending.
– Set automatic SIPs.
– Pay off credit card bills fully.
– Don’t take loans for gadgets or travel.
– Start saving before spending.

Good habits support good investments.

? Finally
– You are starting at 46, but that’s not late.
– Many people don’t start at all.
– Rs.10,000/month for 10 years with right discipline is powerful.
– Focus on quality funds.
– Stick to your goals.
– Review annually.
– Stay invested with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.
– Avoid direct plans if you’re not hands-on.
– Avoid index funds.
– Build emergency fund first.
– Increase SIP yearly.
– Don’t stop investing.
– Your 10-year wealth plan is now in motion.

Let your money work quietly. You stay focused and calm.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8910 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Career
Sir My jee rank was not that good..I have some queries..cna u pls assist me what's the difference between bsc cs and btech cse..and would they lead to same career path and options.. Also if I choose to go with btech then..should I choose srm sonepat or not..I have planned to do msc abroad
Ans: Javin, B.Sc. Computer Science is a three-year, theory-driven program emphasizing algorithms, computation theory and foundational mathematics, suited for research, data analysis or academic roles, whereas B.Tech. in Computer Science & Engineering spans four years with a balanced mix of hardware, software and engineering fundamentals, offering intensive lab work, industry internships, and project-based learning that prepare graduates for system design, software development and emerging technology roles. Both degrees can lead to software engineering, data science, and cybersecurity careers, but B.Tech. holders often access core engineering positions and higher placement rates, while B.Sc. graduates may pivot more readily into research-oriented master’s or academic tracks. Considering SRM University Delhi-NCR Sonepat for B.Tech. CSE, the programme is delivered in a NAAC-accredited institution with over 315 recruiters visiting annually and a 95 percent placement consistency, supported by modern computing labs and structured career services. For planned MSc studies abroad, admissions typically require a four-year engineering or science degree with substantial computer-science content, a competitive GRE score (if required), proof of English proficiency (IELTS/TOEFL) and strong academic references; B.Tech. CSE aligns smoothly with these criteria, ensuring eligibility and facilitating conversion to research-focused master’s programmes.

Recommendation:
Opt for B.Tech. CSE at SRM Sonepat to benefit from industry-aligned curriculum, high placement consistency and robust lab exposure, then pursue an MSc abroad leveraging the recognised four-year engineering degree, structured admissions prerequisites and extensive global opportunities in advanced computing and research. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8910 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Career
My daughter got PhD in Pharmacology admission both at Lovely Professional University Phagwara & JSS College of Pharmacy Ooty Tamil Nadu. Can you guide us which one is better? Which one to choose & why?
Ans: Lovely Professional University’s doctoral programme in Pharmacology operates within a NAAC-accredited private university that administers its own LPUNEST entrance test and offers substantial scholarship support based on merit . The three-year full-time curriculum encompasses core research methodology, publication ethics and advanced electives, supplemented by interdisciplinary minors and industry-interface modules that facilitate collaborations with pharmaceutical companies. Research scholars benefit from well-equipped pre-clinical and clinical evaluation laboratories, a centralized animal house and access to LPU’s Centre for Biomedical Research. A robust placement pathway connects candidates to roles in drug safety, pharmacovigilance and regulatory affairs, leveraging the university’s corporate partnerships and regular campus recruitment drives. Despite its relative youth, LPU maintains a dedicated Career Development Centre and reports a consistent placement rate for life-sciences graduates through structured internship pipelines and research-fellowship opportunities .

JSS College of Pharmacy, Ooty, established in 1980 and part of JSS Academy of Higher Education & Research, stands among the top five pharmacy institutions nationally, holding NAAC A+ accreditation and a #4 NIRF pharmacy ranking . Its Department of Pharmacology—active since 1988—provides doctoral candidates with specialized training in pharmacology and toxicology tracks, supported by CSIR-, DBT- and AICTE-funded research projects worth over ?3 crore. The college features a CPCSEA-approved centralized animal house, advanced instrumentation (FT-IR, microwave synthesizer, molecular modeling suites) and round-the-clock research facilities. Extensive MoUs with leading R&D organizations and a NABL-accredited drug-testing laboratory underpin strong industry linkages, while its placement cell sustains an over 80% placement consistency for postgraduate and doctoral scholars, facilitating roles in academia, regulatory bodies, and pharmaceutical R&D .

Recommendation:
For a well-established research environment with extensive funding, high national ranking, and deep industry connections in pharmacological sciences, JSS College of Pharmacy, Ooty offers the stronger platform. However, if scholarship opportunities, interdisciplinary minors, and a growing placement infrastructure are priorities, Lovely Professional University remains a compelling alternative. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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