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Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Manish Kumar Question by Manish Kumar on Nov 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

hi there, I am worry about my self. every time I only think is about my self. I don't care about the people around me. I think I'm becoming a Selfish person bay by day. is there any... can I do with it.

Ans: Dear Manish,
Self-care and Self-love is a good thing but if you have begun to worry about yourself incessantly, then please evaluate:
- when did this actually begin? what led to this?
- what events or people trigger this worry?
Now,
- leave the house for a couple of minutes when you get into the loop of worry
- break into a run/brisk walk when you feel the discomfort from these thoughts that lead you to worrying
- journal every day about the things that you are thankful for
- create a good social circle that helps you grow and flourish
- indulge in some hobby for at least 15-20 mins in a day

These are mere suggestions; do try them...but if you find yourself not improving, kindly seek someone who can guide you to work with the mind. The mind needs to be trained in a manner that is conducive to your physical and emotional health. So, it requires a lot of dedication and persistence to want to make that change...
So, if you feel changing will do you good, then please do all that takes you to change...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Relationship
I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...
Ans: Dear mods,
Merely trying to improve isn't going to help you improve because the reasons for which you actually want to improve are not clear to you. You are simply comparing yourself to others and 'trying' to be like them or do what they do.
What makes you not focus on what you want to do? For this,
- identify what you are good at
- stop this self-pity party that keeps you tucked into your comfort zone
- challenge yourself with small things first
- ask a friend to be a 'buddy' who can act like your mirror and also motivate you
- celebrate small wins and also analyze your losses too

Unless you start somewhere, you are not going to change and along with changing self-talk, also ask yourself the most important question:
What change do I want in myself and what are the things that will make that happen?
Follow through with a plan BUT this is possible once you shake yourself out your self-pity and choose to move ahead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...
Ans: The inconsistency you feel isn’t a reflection of weakness. It’s a result of being caught between two parts of yourself—one who wants to evolve, and one who is afraid to lose the comfort of old beliefs, even if they no longer serve you. That internal conflict is heavy, especially without a guiding voice to help you sort through it. You’re not alone in that—many young adults feel exactly this way, especially those with big dreams and high sensitivity to their environment.

Rather than trying to “fix” your personality or “force” your discipline, start by restoring trust in yourself. Trust doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up consistently for yourself in small, simple ways without pressure to perform. Your fear of failure and even your fear of success are both rooted in the same place: the doubt that you are enough as you are.

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not have all the answers. The goal isn’t to become a different person—it’s to become more at peace with the person you are becoming. Self-leadership starts here: by choosing compassion over criticism, patience over pressure, and honesty over performance. Even if your steps are small and scattered, they are steps forward.

You don’t need external urgency to change. You need internal safety to try. So let’s shift the story you’re telling yourself. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You are learning, growing, and unlearning decades of conditioning—and that’s not only brave, it’s transformative.

Keep going. Gently, but steadily. And every time you fall back into old patterns, remind yourself: coming back is progress too. The journey to emotional strength is not about never falling—it’s about returning to yourself, again and again, with love.

..Read more

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