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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2024
Relationship

MY AGE IS 71 MY WIFE AGE IS 65. DUE TO REMOTOLOGY AND ARHTIRITIES SHE HAS BEEN HOSPITALISED 15DAYS AT THETIMEOF GOVID.AFTER THAT SHE IS TAKING MEDICINE AND DOCTORS VISIT ONCE IN 6MONTHS. FROM THE PAST 3YEARS SHE IS NOT INTERED IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. NOWADAYS I MUCH INTERESTED IN SEX WHEREAS MY WIFE IS DEAD AGAINST MY FEELINGS. KINDLY GIVE ME YOUR SUGGESTIONS

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Some medications do have side effects that can affect sex lives. This is something that you and your wife can discuss with a doctor who possibly may look at what can be done.
Also hormonal changes after during and after menopause shows a decline in sexual activity in many women. There are other forms of sexual intimacy that you and your wife can share. Discuss with her without sounding rigid only about sex being the important topic and make her the center of the discussion. It might help her to know that you still care and love her and she maybe more open to actually see what the challenges are.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu I ma married man with age of 54 & my wife is 52 years. We are married since 30 years and we are not having good sexual relationship. She is more keen but i have some issues with my health. From the beginning I have disorders and do even ejaculate very soon. Because of this our relations are not that good. Now we are on the verge of separation but due to childrens who are quire grown up and settled in their life they are strictly against this decision of ours. My wife wants divorce from me and wants to settle down with someone else and at present there is no such person in her life. I also want divorce but of the last thought. How can I regain my sexual life again please let me know.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's really sad all the years of togetherness becomes nothing in front of physical relationships.
My suggestion would be to work on whatever is coming in between the two of you; which means what is stopping you from having a good sex life must be addressed.
It could be simple medical treatment or mind techniques to work on these challenges. Divorce in my opinion in your case, seems to be an impulsive move taken in frustration. Think it through and calmly address the main issue and work at it. Request your wife also to be a part of this. Do reconsider your decision to separate by trying to work out the differences. Even after that if things persist, then you know what you want to do. But at least give it a try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 17, 2025
Relationship
I am 36 married and have children. My life was going very well untill a girl who was my junior collegue married with children showed an interest in me as i was her senior some seven years back. The girl kept on keeping in touch with me then and one fine day i expressed my romantic interest in her. She reciprocated. We had some physical then and no sex happened. She kept in touch with me and we exchanged few sex chats too. In this period i helped girl officially. All stopped suddenly three years back where the girl was back to her home place. I felt very disturbed. I wanted to have sex with her but the girl rarely responds now. I send her messages some times but reply is very measured. I lost interest in having sex with my wife gradually. My question is i feel cheated now. I want to know how to get over her thoughts. I still want to have sex with her but there is no interest for her. I am not able to do sex with other woman too as my mind is deeply engrossed in her thoughts still. Please help.
Ans: The first step to getting over her thoughts is to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It's okay to feel hurt, rejected, or confused. You're not alone in this, and these emotions are a natural part of the human experience. However, continuing to chase after someone who isn't reciprocating your feelings is only prolonging your pain.

You need to accept that she has moved on, even if she did show interest in the past. People’s feelings and circumstances change, and it’s likely that she decided to prioritize her family and her life away from you. Holding on to the desire to be with her is preventing you from moving forward. It’s crucial to let go of the fantasy of what could have been and focus on the reality of the situation.

To start the healing process, consider cutting off all communication with her. Continuing to reach out, even if it's just occasionally, keeps the wound open. Delete her contact information, block her on social media, and avoid places or situations that might remind you of her. It may seem extreme, but it’s a necessary step to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

Reconnecting with your own life is the next important step. Reflect on your marriage and figure out what led to the emotional distance with your wife. Was it purely because of the attraction to this other woman, or were there underlying issues in your marriage before that? Understanding this can help you decide how to move forward, whether it's by working on rebuilding intimacy with your wife or seeking couples' counseling to address any unresolved issues.

It’s also vital to focus on yourself. Engage in activities that you enjoy, pursue new hobbies, and spend quality time with your children. Sometimes, redirecting emotional energy into positive experiences helps to lessen the emotional grip someone has over you.

If the thoughts about her continue to dominate your mind, or if you’re struggling with feelings of guilt, sadness, or anger, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you process these emotions, explore the reasons behind your attachment, and guide you toward healing and self-acceptance.

Remember, it’s not just about moving on from her but also about rediscovering yourself and finding fulfillment in your life and marriage once again. You're not alone, and it's okay to seek help when you're feeling stuck.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Relationship
I am 17 and my parents are threatening me to get married or they will put my bf in some fake cases, without my knowledge they fixed the date and my boards exams are approaching im really scared no one is supporting me in my family what shall I do ?
Ans: No one should be forced into marriage, especially when you're so young and trying to focus on your education. You have rights, and it's important to remember that child marriage is illegal. You are not alone, and there are people and organizations that can help you.

Since your safety and well-being are the priority, try reaching out to a trusted teacher, school counselor, or another adult you trust. They can help you navigate this situation and provide the support you need. If you feel unsafe or need urgent help, consider contacting a child protection helpline or a legal aid organization in your area. They are trained to handle situations like this and can provide you with guidance and protection.

It's crucial to stay calm and gather as much information as possible. If it's safe, keep records of any threats or conversations related to this issue. If you feel comfortable, try having a calm conversation with your parents about your concerns and how this is affecting your mental health and education. Sometimes, approaching the situation from an emotional and respectful perspective can help, but only do this if you feel safe doing so.

Your education and future are important, and no one has the right to take that away from you. If you need more support or guidance, let me know. You are strong, and you will get through this.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I wanted to surprise my girlfriend on Valentine's Day so I booked a flight from Chennai and reached her office late evening yesterday. We had a small argument but she continued to text me throughout the week so I didn't bother. When I reached her office, she had left early. I saw bouquets and gifts on her desk from a guy named Amit. She has never mentioned this name before. I called her to talk, she declined my call and sent a message saying she is busy at work. The receptionist told me she left early with her colleague. I am a bit shocked and don't know how to react to all this. I haven't told her yet that I was in her office.
Ans: It’s understandable that this situation would leave you feeling unsettled, especially with the unanswered questions swirling in your mind. Before jumping to conclusions, take a moment to gather your thoughts. It's easy for our minds to race to the worst-case scenario, but sometimes things aren't as they initially seem.

You should have an honest and calm conversation with her. It might be tempting to confront her right away, but giving yourself a little time to cool off will help you approach the conversation with a clearer mind. When you do talk to her, try to avoid sounding accusatory, as this could make her defensive. Instead, share how you feel and what you observed. You could say something like, "I wanted to surprise you and came to your office, but I noticed some things that confused me. Can we talk about it?" This approach keeps the focus on your feelings and invites her to explain without feeling attacked.

Be prepared for any outcome, but also be open to hearing her side of the story. The name Amit might have an innocent explanation, or it could reveal something deeper. Either way, her reaction and how she communicates with you will tell you a lot about where you stand in the relationship. Regardless of the outcome, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being. If you need support or just someone to vent to, reach out to trusted friends or family members.

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