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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi. I am a 52 year old male, my wife is 53 and we have two grown up kids and a pet. I was in a job till 2018 and thereafter switched to my own practice and there were some financial compromises which had to be made including home shifting etc. My wife befriended certain females who I suspect led her towards a lot of spiritual gyaan though those females were more into their personal material life. My wife became so involved with them and their topics that even when we were intimate she would pause and talk about them. That gave me a kick away from physical relations with her. She currently is more into a lot of spirituality and drawn to such friends and some widowed family members who only take her towards that path. I want to lead a normal intimate life with her as I love her and do not want to hurt her. I took her to a Gynae too for check ups and she only has the normal issues which a woman of her age would have. Children and spirituality have become her priority and pet has become mine's. How do we get back as a normal couple?

Ans: It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your relationship, and it's understandable that you're feeling disconnected and frustrated. Reconnecting with your wife and rebuilding intimacy can take time and effort, but it's definitely possible.Sit down with your wife and express your feelings openly and honestly. Let her know how her focus on spirituality and her friendships have affected you and your relationship. Avoid blaming or accusing her, but rather focus on expressing your own feelings and concerns. It's important to understand where your wife is coming from and why she's prioritizing spirituality and her friendships. Listen to her without judgment and try to empathize with her perspective. Understanding each other's motivations can help you find common ground. Explore activities or interests that you both enjoy and can do together. This could be anything from going for walks, cooking together, or attending a class or workshop that interests both of you. Finding common ground outside of spirituality can help strengthen your bond as a couple. Prioritize quality time together as a couple. Schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways where you can focus on each other and enjoy each other's company without distractions. Show your love and affection for each other through small gestures, compliments, and physical touch. Rebuilding intimacy often starts with reconnecting emotionally and expressing your love for each other in meaningful ways. Reconnecting as a couple takes time and effort, so be patient with each other and yourselves. It's normal to encounter setbacks along the way, but stay committed to working through them together. Remember that rebuilding intimacy and connection in a relationship is a journey, and it may not happen overnight. With patience, understanding, and effort from both of you, you can work towards restoring your relationship and creating a fulfilling partnership once again.

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Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 19, 2023

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I'm 60 yrs old & my wife is 54 years old. We are married for 33 years now and have 2 grown-up children. My wife was always having less interest towards the physical relationship. She had lost further interest since last 10 years and totally stopped since last 6 years. She sleeps in a sperate room to avoid any physical relationship. She always says we are too old for physical relationship and let is not do any such thing now. I feel an urge to have a physical relationship atleast one a week and because of no relationship, I feel irritated and this is also effecting our general relationship. Unfortunately she is not understanding this. Please suggest what to do???
Ans: Dear Sunjay,
Many of my responses in similar questions like yours have been:
1. Either your wife is in her menopause phase or has menopaused and this can cause lack of interest in sex due to hormonal changes
OR
2. It's a belief system that once you have children, sex if off the table
If it's 1, then there's a lot more empathy that you can show as a husband and possibly explore options with a doctor who can guide the two of you on sex after menopause
If it's 2, then there's a task you are up against where you need to understand where this belief system set inside of her and what it might take for her to break it

So, irritation from you may not solve your problem but only aggravate it, but if you put your mind into finding a solution, you will be interested in finding the source of the problem and eliminate that.

All the best!
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Maxim Emmanuel  |186 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello my name is yash I have completed by studies in bsc it I have done jobs of cashier and application support analyst during my studies. No my studies are over I find myself to fit in job as per requirement but I am not satisfied sometimes I feel I am not meant for this I have issues from office like work extra over over time. I want to ask is there everywhere over time of employees to be spend 10-12 hours in office. Secondly I feel that should work in environment where I can move and do work means field work in which I feel I am not bounded in short I want work life balance. I love to read books, I love to do on ground activities in back of my mind I have civil services plan in which I have a permission to work freely. But condition is that how can I do if office demands max hours of my life it's bit confusing for me
Ans: Your name is Yash =Success, but you are far from it because you are on the wrong path.

The education and job as per your statement now matches your profile ,but you are not satisfied because of your work time.. Understand your predicament!

Travelled by bus,train ...realised how many hour's they are driving for you.. When you sleep!?
Forget about being a soldier you cant qualify!

Looking for a cushy and comfortable job, you have just started young man.. Get your thought process right!

The Civil Service means Govt job and you think, once you get it, you can then ruminate!?
Not any more, everywhere there are deliverable's.

Now the balance for work & life balance comes when you have the income to treat yourself, let alone repay the debt of your parent's.

Nobody stops you to do what you love but after a good days work.. Man!?

There's nothing called freely work, all gods children have bosses ,except GOD !

So your confusion of work timings will end, when you have the determination to dedicate & deliver ...success!
Got it.. there's nothing that comes on a platter! Go get it before you are left behind.. Be the YASH!
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Ashwini Dasgupta  |65 Answers  |Ask -

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Arun Prasad v k, hi sir, I am 46 yrs wish to retire by 55. Presently I have 25 lacs in fixed deposit, 15 lacs in post office savings , house rent8k, monthly 25k as salary. Besides, this I have 30k as monthly expenses... I have no idea / knowledge about mutual fund and I want to invest regularly for more 10 years...systematically and at the time of 55 I want to get best amount as pension amount..without loosing investment amount to beat the inflation. Kindly suggest me good mutual fund and tell me how to invest directly..without agent.. 2. My fixed deposit going to mature this month for Rs.11 lacs. Kindly suggest ,is it advisable to invest as lumpsum Or in what way to invest.
Ans: t's commendable that you're planning for your retirement and seeking to explore mutual fund investments to achieve your financial goals. Here's a tailored approach to help you get started:

Selecting Mutual Funds: Since you're aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with the goal of generating a pension-like income at the age of 55, consider investing in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds to balance growth potential with capital preservation. Look for funds with a track record of consistent performance, experienced fund managers, and low expense ratios. You may consider diversified equity funds, balanced funds, and debt funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Investing Directly?
investing directly in mutual funds without professional guidance can pose certain risks. Here are some perils to consider:

Lack of Expertise: Direct investing requires a deep understanding of the mutual fund landscape, market dynamics, and investment strategies. Without proper knowledge, you may struggle to select the right funds and construct a well-balanced portfolio.
Risk of Mistakes: DIY investing increases the risk of making costly mistakes such as selecting unsuitable funds, mistiming the market, or misinterpreting fund performance data. These mistakes can hinder your investment returns and jeopardize your retirement goals.
Limited Access to Research: Individual investors may have limited access to research tools, market insights, and expert analysis compared to financial professionals. This can make it challenging to make informed investment decisions and navigate complex financial markets effectively.
Lack of Personalized Advice: Investing directly means missing out on personalized financial advice tailored to your unique needs, goals, and risk tolerance. A Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) can provide valuable guidance and help you build a customized investment plan aligned with your objectives.
Considering these challenges, I would recommend considering regular mutual funds through an MFD. An MFD can offer personalized advice, recommend suitable mutual funds based on your financial goals and risk profile, and provide ongoing support to help you navigate the investment landscape effectively.
Lumpsum Investment: Regarding your maturing fixed deposit of 11 lakhs, consider your risk tolerance and investment goals before deciding how to deploy this amount. Since you have a relatively short time horizon until retirement, you may consider investing a portion of the amount in debt funds for stability and liquidity, while allocating the remainder to equity funds for potential growth over the long term. Alternatively, you can stagger your investments over time through systematic transfer plans (STP) to mitigate timing risk.
Regular Monitoring: Once you've invested in mutual funds, monitor your investments regularly and review your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your financial goals and risk profile. Consider rebalancing your portfolio if needed based on changes in market conditions or your financial situation.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investment approach, you can work towards building a robust investment portfolio to support your retirement goals while safeguarding your investment against inflation.

By working with an MFD, you can access professional expertise, receive personalized recommendations, and benefit from ongoing guidance to make informed investment decisions and achieve your retirement goals more effectively.

If you have any further questions or need assistance, feel free to reach out to a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor for personalized advice and support.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Money
I'm 27 year old female. I earn 29k per month. I want to start an SIP and save enough (5lakh) for my marriage that I expect will happen after three years what's the best way for me to go about this goal?
Ans: Starting an SIP to save for your marriage is a wise decision, and with a clear goal in mind, you can work towards achieving it effectively. Here's a suggested approach tailored to your situation:

Determine Required SIP Amount: Calculate the monthly SIP amount required to accumulate 5 lakhs in three years. Assuming an average annual return of around 10%, you'll need to invest approximately 12,000 INR per month.
Select Suitable Mutual Funds: Choose mutual funds that align with your investment horizon and risk tolerance. Given your relatively short time frame of three years, consider allocating your investments to relatively safer options such as debt funds or hybrid funds with a higher allocation towards debt.
Explore Debt and Hybrid Funds: Look for debt funds or hybrid funds with a conservative allocation that prioritize capital preservation while aiming for modest growth. Consider funds with a track record of stable returns and low volatility.
Set Up SIPs: Open SIPs in the chosen mutual funds and set up monthly contributions of 12,000 INR. Ensure that the SIP amount is deducted automatically from your bank account each month to maintain consistency in your investment approach.
Regular Monitoring: Keep track of the performance of your SIPs and review them periodically. Make adjustments to your investment strategy if necessary based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
Explore Additional Savings: Consider supplementing your SIPs with additional savings from any windfalls, bonuses, or surplus income to accelerate your goal achievement.
Stay Committed: Stay committed to your SIPs and avoid withdrawing funds prematurely unless absolutely necessary. Remember, consistency and discipline are key to achieving your financial goals.
By following these steps and staying focused on your goal, you can save enough for your marriage within the desired timeframe while building a healthy financial habit for the future.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Sir please suggest amount as well as mutual fund for 15 years to generate corpus of 1cr
Ans: To generate a corpus of 1 crore in 15 years, you'll need to invest a significant amount regularly and choose suitable mutual funds with growth potential. Here's a suggested approach:

Determine Investment Amount: Considering your goal of accumulating 1 crore in 15 years, you'll need to calculate the monthly investment required based on expected returns. Assuming an average annual return of around 10%, you'll need to invest approximately 30,000 INR per month.
Select Mutual Funds: Choose a mix of equity mutual funds that offer potential for capital appreciation over the long term. Consider allocating your investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and multicap funds to diversify risk and maximize returns. Look for funds with a consistent track record of performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment strategy.
Allocate Funds: Divide your monthly investment amount of 30,000 INR among different mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and investment goals. For example, you could allocate 40-50% to large-cap funds, 30-40% to mid-cap funds, and 10-20% to multicap funds.
Regular Monitoring: Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals. Stay disciplined and committed to your investment plan to achieve your target corpus of 1 crore in 15 years.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider seeking advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized recommendations based on your financial situation, risk profile, and investment objectives. They can help you create a customized investment plan and guide you towards achieving your long-term financial goals.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investments, you can work towards building a substantial corpus of 1 crore over the next 15 years. Remember, consistency, patience, and informed decision-making are key to successful long-term wealth creation.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Hi sir, Maine niche likhe hue sabhi fund mein mutual fund investment ki hai Small cap fund... Quant, HDFC, Mahindra, ICICI, canara rebeco Mid cap fund....Quant, HDFC, Mahindra, motilal oswal, canara rebeco Multicap fund.... HDFC and Mahindra Sectoral themetic fund... Nippon power& infra, DSp India tiger fund, ICICI manufacturing, ICICI innovation, axis manufacturing Plz mujhe suggest Karo.. aage bhi main yeh invest ment continue Karu ya . Fund change Karu...
Ans: It's great to see your diversified investment approach across different categories like small-cap, mid-cap, multicap, and sectoral thematic funds. However, the decision to continue or change your investments depends on various factors such as fund performance, your investment goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.

Here are a few steps to consider:

Review Fund Performance: Evaluate the performance of each fund relative to its benchmark and peer group over different time frames. Look for consistency, risk-adjusted returns, and the fund manager's track record.
Assess Investment Goals: Reflect on your investment goals, time horizon, and risk tolerance. Are you investing for short-term gains or long-term wealth creation? Your goals should drive your investment decisions.
Analyze Fund Strategy: Understand the investment strategy and underlying holdings of each fund. Ensure they align with your investment objectives and risk profile. Assess if any funds are deviating from their stated strategy or experiencing manager changes.
Consider Market Conditions: Take into account current market conditions, economic outlook, and sectoral trends. Certain sectors may perform better in specific market cycles, so diversification across sectors can mitigate risks.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized recommendations based on your individual circumstances. They can help you assess your portfolio, identify any gaps, and suggest appropriate changes.
Ultimately, the decision to continue or change your investments should be based on a thorough analysis of fund performance, alignment with your goals, and professional advice. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your financial objectives.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I am 34 yeRs old and monthly income is 1.8 lakhs. I have a home loan EMI of 55000. I want to invest 40000 in MF SIP. Can you please provide a breakdown where should i invest and how much?
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards investing despite having home loan commitments. Given your financial situation, here's a suggested breakdown for investing 40,000 INR in mutual fund SIPs:

Diversified Equity Funds (Large Cap/Multi Cap): Allocate around 60-70% of your SIP amount, i.e., 24,000 to 28,000 INR, to diversified equity funds. These funds offer exposure to a mix of large-cap and multi-cap stocks, providing stability and growth potential over the long term.
Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds: Allocate around 20-30% of your SIP amount, i.e., 8,000 to 12,000 INR, to mid-cap and small-cap funds for higher growth potential. These funds are more volatile but can offer significant returns over an extended investment horizon.
Balanced/Hybrid Funds: Consider allocating a small portion, around 10-20% of your SIP amount, i.e., 4,000 to 8,000 INR, to balanced or hybrid funds. These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt instruments, providing a balance between growth and stability.
Asset Allocation: Adjust the allocation percentages based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to ensure alignment with your objectives.
Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized guidance based on your financial goals, risk profile, and investment horizon. They can help you select suitable mutual funds and create a well-diversified portfolio tailored to your needs.
By following this breakdown and seeking professional advice, you can build a robust mutual fund portfolio that aligns with your financial objectives and helps you achieve your long-term wealth creation goals.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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