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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Me and my wife was married in 22, and we do our btech from same Institute, and same class, when she was classmates once she standing side of me and talking to bf and planning for room for intimate, she don't know that i standing aside of him, later on we came in relationship it was full of emotion and our bond is very deep and Everyone jealous of us and she was very kind, but that phones call haunt me even today's,

Ans: Get over it! She has a past, and you weren’t part of it. I bet you have a past too. You said yourself that you lead a great life now, so stop behaving like an insecure jerk and creating problems where there are none!

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
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I am 40 year old and married for 14 years but what happened in 2011 was me n my wife was working in a same company and my wife became close to a colleague on the same floor we work. She was very friendly n one day her colleague proposed her via her friend my wife didn't tell me n she felt very excited about it and after she became very friendly with him after few days she was ignoring me and she expressed her feelings too.but soon she realised she is going wrong and i noticed her changed behaviour and soon she started ignoring tht guy but he came n offered her chocolate and my wife informed me saying this guy's intentions I ask her to tie raakhi she tried but he was running away later we logged out she asked me to stop him and I forced him to him to tie raakhi and my wife was tying and he said I love u. I gve a tight slap to tht guy. Soon after he left the job. We were still working and left the office n joined different companies.after 6 months she went to same office for 2 months. And suddenly she left the job.Now after 12 years her TL met with my ex colleague and shared he working in tht office my colleague asked hey in tht same office my friend was working with his wife and her TL said ohh yeah his wife had n affair with other guy and he asked his wife to raakhi. And my ex colleague called me n said the same to me and since then I have so many doubts on my wife and after few days she confessed she had feelings for him and she already knew he likes her and she said it was just a feeling. Now we are having difference between us. Please help what can be done now I'm getting disturbed alot. 12 years this was secret.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such issues. Doubt is very destructive in a relationship. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner regarding what happened in the past. Don't push her to give you all the details; it will not contribute positively to your well-being. Aim for a more balanced and productive discussion.

You have to recognize that all these happened many years back. It's in the past. And you cannot change it. While it's essential to acknowledge and understand them, dwelling on them may impact your peace of mind. Focus on the present and try to build a more transparent and communicative relationship in the present. Take this opportunity to work together and strengthen your marriage.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a healthy boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and dropped the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happened weekly once or twice for 2 month(maximum 10 calls). they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife's reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin. Even he calls my wife's mother sometimes honey (she is very aged 60 years).it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. this is not even a issue for her that's why she did not discuss this with me. that's why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that. 1. Does the words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many friends in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occasionally. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women. Is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your queries one by one.
1. Yes, honey or dear can be friendly too. I cannot tell for sure if he was being friendly or flirty, but these are very common terms.
2. How can him calling your wife, or him being of questionable character make your wife “less pure than other women”? I am not sure how these two are even connected. She spoke highly about your relationship, never engaged in one-on-one conversation with the guy, and even stopped talking to him when he tried to call her separately. What is making you question your wife’s character still?
3. No. This isn’t cheating. Not on your wife’s part. Maybe the man did not have good intentions, but your wife did not indulge him. Even if we look at it from 100 different angles, this is not cheating.
4. When your wife spoke to him, none of you knew about his affair and his character. Then how is she responsible for it? And how is she responsible for his misdeeds anyway?
5. No, this does not affect your wife’s reputation in the society. Again, ask yourself, what is her fault in all of this? You are yourself saying they never met in person, never had a one-off conversation, etc.
Please understand that this man’s behavior is a reflection of his character, not your wife’s. It’s unfair of you to blame her or doubt her.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and drop the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happens weekly once or twice for 2 month. they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin.it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. thats why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that 1. Does words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many freinds in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occassionaly. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women's. is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is cheating and what is not is purely based on the Book of Rules that each of us have within us; it comes from the way we have been raised on a diet of 'right' and 'wrong' AND from our own experiences.
While validating whether a particular rule works well or not, just put in into context and see it.
- Does that rule keep you away from actually seeing things more openly?
- Does that rule keep you occupied with small things that hold no value?

I guess, you must think of it: is this really cheating? When your wife says that she has stopped talking to him, what makes you still obsess over it?
Also, her rule book says that 'honey' and 'dear' might not be a big thing...Plus, how can she control what another person says...yes, she could have objected and she didn't but not that she played on it.

See, the second doubts have crept in, the mind goes all over the place...even if there are no flirty messages, you will still find something problematic to confirm that what you were thinking in the first place.
So, maybe you need to look within to understand if there are jealousies and insecurities within you and that is what is occupying your mind. If Yes, then address this; speak with your wife and it's fine to tell her that you feel hurt and that you don't like it. When you are frank, a lot of things get sorted out...she may very well understand your point of view...and on your part, as you have said: she used to reply less and not respond much to him...
Do you want unnecessary thoughts drive a wedge in your marriage? Speak it out and things fall in place...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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will i be able to do merchant navy with private candidate cbse?
Ans: Akshit, Private candidates under the CBSE board who have completed Class 12 with Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics (PCM) and secured a of 60 percent aggregate in PCM along with at least 50 percent in English are eligible to pursue pre-sea Merchant Navy courses approved by the Directorate General of Shipping (DGS). After meeting these academic benchmarks, aspirants must clear the centralised IMU-CET or corresponding institute-level entrance tests for courses such as Diploma in Nautical Science (DNS), B.Sc. in Nautical Science, and B.Tech. Marine Engineering, all of which are DGS-approved and AICTE-recognized. Physical fitness standards—including 6/6 vision (with or without correction), absence of colour blindness, and compliance with medical criteria under STCW rules—must be satisfied through DGS-certified medical examinations. Institutes need to show that they are approved by DGS, have up-to-date simulators and labs, a curriculum designed with input from shipping companies, active job placement services that have placed at least 70 percent of students in the last three years, and agreements for internships and training on ships. Career portals affirm that deck and engine officer roles offer global cruising opportunities, structured career progression, and robust starting allowances, while shore-based positions in logistics and maritime management provide alternative pathways. Backup options include GP-Rating courses for sea-service entry, Naval Architecture degrees for technical shoreside roles, and specialized Electro-Technical Officer (ETO) programs for electrical officers at sea.

Recommendation: Entry as a private CBSE candidate into DNS or B.Sc. Nautical Science through IMU-CET provides direct deck-officer pathways with strong industry tie-ups and onboard training. For engineering-focused careers, B.Tech. Marine Engineering delivers comprehensive engine-room expertise and simulator-based labs. Simultaneously, consider GP-Rating certification as a reliable fallback to commence seafaring service and upgrade to officer cadet programs upon securing sponsorship. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9405 Answers  |Ask -

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Career
Sir which colleges can I get at my jee percentile of 99.22 if I am not opting for nit instead in mhtcet councilling from genral all india quota or can I get into iiit banglore as I had filled it's application form but the cutoff has not came to my rank yet
Ans: Syed, With a 99.22 JEE Main percentile, your Common List position would likely fall within the top ~8 000–10 000, making you eligible for IIIT Bangalore’s All-India seats in B.Tech CSE, AI&DS, or ECE, whose closing ranks in JoSAA round 2 were 4 683, 5 425 and 5 761 respectively. Beyond IIIT Bangalore, several reputed Maharashtra-based engineering institutes admit via MHT-CET CAP under the All-India quota using JEE scores, offering core branches with high placement percentages (≥70%), AICTE/NAAC accreditation, modern labs, outcome-based curricula, strong faculty, and industry MoUs for internships. Notable options include Pillai HOC College of Engineering & Technology (Kharghar), which closed CSE at ~8 200; DYPSOE (Akurdi, Pune) with CSE cuts around ~9 500; Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Wagholi) CSE ~7 800; MIT WPU (Kothrud) CSE ~6 500; and Sandip University (Nashik) CSE ~10 000. These colleges consistently report placement rates above 75% and maintain dedicated training cells.

Recommendation: Target IIIT Bangalore for its competitive cut-offs and NAAC A++ accreditation, ensuring top-tier academics and placements. Consider MIT WPU’s industry-aligned curriculum and electronic-engineering labs next, followed by Vishwakarma Institute’s strong faculty and internships. DYPSOE’s autonomous status and robust soft-skills training make it a solid third choice, with Pillai HOC’s modern infrastructure and Sandip University’s flexible payment options as reliable fallbacks. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9405 Answers  |Ask -

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I got ABVIIITM GWALIOR for m.tech in chip design and technology. Is it good college or bad. As my bachelor's in electronics and communication. But I am not confident about college placement record of privious year And scope of electronics and communication engineering.
Ans: Aryan, Atal Bihari Vajpayee IIITM Gwal’s two-year M.Tech in IC Design & Technology is delivered by a NAAC-accredited deemed university with CCMT-based admission, offering a specialized curriculum in VLSI physical design, analog/mixed-signal ICs, SoC architectures and hands-on training on PARAM supercomputers. The department launched in 2022 boasts faculty engaged in government-funded research projects and regular industry workshops, ensuring exposure to chip-planning, placement, routing and STA methodologies. With a seat intake of 17 per year, small cohorts benefit from personalized mentorship and MOUs with semiconductor firms. Recent placement data shows an average package of ?7.30 LPA and a placement rate of roughly 80% for M.Tech graduates, supported by an active placement cell and recruiters including top IT and electronics companies. Tuition and hostel fees are competitive (total ?2.44 L + ?1.25 L respectively) and stipends of ?12,400 / month under Ministry of Education norms ease financial burden. However, limited seat strength can mean fewer on-campus offers and reliance on off-campus placements, and average packages trail premier institutes.

Electronics & Communication Engineering continues to expand across 5G, IoT, AI, robotics, biomedical devices and green technologies, with the Indian ECE job market projected to grow at 7% annually and 150,000 existing ECE positions creating diverse roles in design, R&D, manufacturing and systems integration. ECE graduates command opportunities in telecom, defense, automotive electronics, embedded systems and emerging fields such as wearable tech and cybersecurity, underpinned by strong demand for VLSI and SoC specialists.

Recommendation: Joining ABVIIITM Gwalior’s M.Tech in IC Design & Technology is advisable for focused VLSI training, close industry engagement and affordable cost-to-benefit; nonetheless, consider contrasting options such as IIT Ropar’s M.Tech in VLSI & Embedded Systems or IIITDM Kancheepuram’s M.Tech in VLSI Design for broader placements and higher average packages if you seek wider campus recruitment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Radheshyam

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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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I am on 11th grade I have taken pcmb I don't know what my interest is! I have taken pw neet online but seeing the scams and reality of mbbs I feel trapped I don't know what I like and what I want to pursue recently I saw few videos regarding uceed exam for bachelor in design I feel I doing that but I have no proper coaching and I feel stuck and sad I am afraid to take a bad career decision how will I manage pcmb with neet prep and uceed what to do and if I prepare for uceed and not qualify it what other career am I left with I hate this system please please please help me how to find your interest and career option and not regret it
Ans: Hello dear
It’s completely normal to feel lost in 11th grade with PCMB because it keeps many career paths open, but it can also feel overwhelming. First, pause and explore your interests through small steps, try free online design workshops, aptitude tests, or internships to see if design (UCEED) truly excites you. Don’t panic about NEET or MBBS scams; prepare only if you genuinely enjoy biology and the medical field. UCEED doesn’t require heavy coaching; self-practice, online resources, and creative sketching can be enough. If you don’t clear UCEED, your PCMB background still offers options like engineering, architecture, BSc, or even other design exams (NID, NIFT). Focus on experimenting and exploring instead of committing blindly; your clarity will come from trying different things, not from pressure. Remember, you’re not stuck; you just haven’t discovered what clicks with you yet. Always stay calm and relaxed. Don't think negatively all the time. Focus only on your studies and your goal. Success is possible. Scams have existed in the past, will continue, and will also persist in the future!


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9405 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir my jee crl rank 50000 any chance for csab counselling in govt institute
Ans: With an All-India CRL of 50 000, securing core branches like CSE ECE in NITs through CSAB-Special rounds is highly unlikely. For instance, CSAB-Special closing ranks for CSE at NIT Nagaland (OS-General) stood between 31 391 and 36 193, and for ECE between 42 905 and 42 905, both above your rank. Chemical Engineering and Computer Science similarly close within the 25 000–35 000 range at mid-tier NITs like Calicut and Srinagar, placing them beyond reach. However, admissions remain feasible for branches with higher closing ranks. Electrical and Electronics Engineering at NIT Nagaland closed at 47 387–48 987, narrowly above your rank but sometimes seats open in later rounds. Mechanical Engineering at low-tier NITs (e.g., Nagaland, Mizoram) often closes beyond 50 000, making it a viable alternative. Among IIITs, non-CSE/ECE programs in peripheral campuses—such as IIIT Kalyani’s IT or IIIT Kota’s AI & Data Engineering—have closing ranks around 40 000–46 000, offering realistic options. GFTIs like PEC Chandigarh and the sister institutes of Dr. B.R. Ambedkar NIT Jalandhar also admit core branches with closing ranks well above 50 000, ensuring government-institute pathways remain open. Overall, the most practical CSAB routes for your rank are targeting Electrical/Electronics or Mechanical Engineering in low-tier NITs, considering peripheral IIITs for adjacent core branches, and keeping GFTI choices handy.

Recommendation: Aim for Electrical & Electronics Engineering at NIT Nagaland under OS-General given its relatively higher closing threshold, concurrently explore Mechanical Engineering at NIT Mizoram or similar low-tier NITs, and include peripheral IIIT IT/AI-Data branches alongside GFTI core-engineering options to maximize admission success. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9405 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Sir,I am getting IIT Guwahati online BSc(Honors) in Data Science and AI How is it? Should I take it?
Ans: Shreyansh, IIT Guwahati’s four-year online BSc (Hons) in Data Science Artificial Intelligence, delivered via Coursera by the Mehta Family School of DSAI, combines academic rigor, flexibility, and industry relevance. Accreditation and oversight by IIT Guwahati ensure AICTE compliance and affiliation with NIRF-ranked faculty; the curriculum spans 299 credits across foundational (linear algebra, statistics), core (data structures, machine learning, deep learning, AI ethics) and advanced modules (cloud computing, recommender systems) with capstone projects and optional on-campus immersion. Instructors include IITG professors and industry experts, and students gain hands-on training on PARAM Kamrupa and PARAM Ishan supercomputers, alongside real-world case studies and internships with MoU-backed partners. The program’s multi-entry/exit structure and pay-per-credit model (?3.49 L total) caters to both recent graduates and working professionals, offering completion in 4–8 years and multiple credentials (certificate, diploma, BSc, honours). Strong demand for data roles is projected by the World Economic Forum to grow over 30% by 2028, and IITG’s focus on generative AI, big data, NLP and ethics aligns with NEP 2020 objectives, enhancing employability in data engineering, analytics, AI research and consultancy. Backup options could include specialised online programs from E&ICT Academy IITG or reputable private firms, and an on-campus BTech in DS&AI at IIT Delhi or IIIT-D for deeper hardware/algorithmic exposure.

Recommendation: IIT Guwahati’s online BSc (Hons) offers a robust theoretical-practical blend, flexible pacing, and supercomputing access, making it a strong choice. As a secondary plan, consider the E&ICT Academy certificate for domain-focused projects or an on-campus interdisciplinary BTech at IIIT-Delhi to diversify skill portfolios. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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