Should I Deal With My Fiancée's Ex-Boyfriend Threat?

Hey ma'am please help me. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend is a very close relative of mine. After 2 years of their break up, we both started dating and now decided to get married and convincing our parents to our marriage. She thinks that i destroyed their relationship by dating him and now threatening to call off our wedding plan if not to disclose their physical intimate details with our parents which creates unfixable problems and impacts our wedding. We tried everything from our side but she is planning to defame my reputation in front of my family. We are not planning to file case against her as she is a close relative and it will affect the family name.

I (26F) have been in the process of searching suitable prospects through Arranged Marriage Platforms. I had connected well with a match (29M), we have been getting along quite well, chatting, phone calls & even met several times in person, over the last few months & got engaged after both Families liked each other. The Wedding is scheduled early in 2025. After our Engagement, my Fiance came up with a Shocking Revelation. He confessed that he (along with his Family) had Hired a Private Detective to snoop on me for a month or more. The Detective had conducted a thorough background check about me & my Family by secretly snooping around many places such as my Neighborhood, my Alma Mater, my Workplace, my Gym etc. & finally gave the Family a 'Clean Chit' about me & hence they decided to go ahead with the Engagement. I wasn't aware of all this, until my Fiance told me, all by himself, but only after our Engagement. Needless to say, I am Shocked at his Confession as I had always been Honest with him about everything he wanted to know about me, still he had to rely upon the 'Clean Chit' issued by a Stranger to be sure of my Character, while he'd been acting like he Trusted me all the while. He tried to pacify me saying that this is just a part of the usual Procedure & most people are doing the same, these days. But I am not able to Digest it. Even though, he has been repeatedly Reassuring me that he completely Trusts me now, I am afraid that he might continue snooping on me, even after we get Married. I am confused as to whether I should be Trusting my Fiance & going ahead with the Wedding, as scheduled? Or discuss with my Family & Call off the Wedding for what my Fiance had done? Can you please advise me, whether Hiring Private Detectives & snooping on prospects is really a part of Arranged Marriage, these days or my Fiance & his Family have Trust Issues? Is it even Ethical (if not Illegal)? Can I initiate any legal action against them for breaching my (& my Family's) Privacy? How do I deal with this, if he continues being so Suspicious about me, even if we decide to go ahead with the Marriage? P.S: I have been completely Honest with my Fiance, right from the beginning & even I Trusted everything he told me without any Cross-verification. Have I been the Foolish one here, while my Fiance had been playing Smart? Would you advise me to do the same thing, which he did, even though, I do not like the idea of having to spy on Loved ones?

I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?

I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?

Thank you for Answering my Question, Kanchan Ma'am... But I have another Problem... What to do about the Ex Boyfriend? A Part of me is grateful to him for the Eye-opening Revelation, he'd given in the nick of time. He seems to consider me as a Brother & by warning me about my Fiancee, he claims to be upholding the unwritten Bro-code, having the back of a Fellow Man... Though illegal, he Believes that he's Morally Right... He says that, even a Woman, in his place, would do the same, for a Fellow Woman. Even though he tried to Reassure me that he'd moved on from his Ex Girlfriend (my Fiancee) completely & wouldn't disturb our Married Life, in case, I still go on to Marry her. But I am not able to Trust him completely. I feel that he's a Potential threat to my Fiancee & also our Marriage. He might blackmail her into engaging in an Extra-marital affair with him, even after our Marriage... or he might also try to Harm her or Defame her. Should I completely Leave it to my Fiancee to Deal with him, as she herself is not completely Blameless (She allowed him to Record their Intimate Moments & also shared her Private Photos with him)? Or do I have any Obligation to fight this Battle, alongside her, as she's already my Fiancee, if not Wife? I'm worried about Risking my Family's Reputation, by getting into this scandal, in case, the word spreads in our Community. Either way, I want him to be dealt with properly, before our Marriage itself. What approach would you suggest, in this case?