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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

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Ojo Question by Ojo on Aug 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Thank you so much , i understand ..after all I did .. wait for her at hospital, pick her up from the hospital at 6 am or wait 2 hours outside hospital... I always felt i deserved more from her side I am not able to move on because I feel very unfinished..feels like she owns me peace and affection for all I did atleast once by being properly in a relationship with me ,that's what makes it hard to move on

Ans: Dear Ojo,

I understand it is hard to move on, especially without proper closure. But life is unfair at times. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself. It's time you give the same love and care to yourself. Spend time with your close friends and family, who love you and prioritize you. Find new hobbies, follow your passion, and generally do things that make you happy. Right now, you might think that she is the only thing that can make you happy. But, that will pass. She chose herself, which is fine. Now, you should too. I am sure you will come out of this soon.

Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu Good day , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Isn't it proof enough that you physically feel better after the break-up that you both are better without each other?
And to answer your doubts on whether it was foolish/wrong of you to speak the truth? NO, you were absolutely truthful and for some reason if she didn't find the person behind all it in you, then she isn't the one for you.
Quit mulling over someone who does not respect your space and identity.
Family involvement and then the engagement only put her deeper into coming close to reality and she was possibly was never ready to be committed to you and your truth. And honestly, it's not possible for everyone to take on a challenge within a marriage.
So, if she decided to go ahead and move on, and you also feel better health-wise, it's only a matter of you giving this a positive spin in your mind to start to feel better.
What would have happened if the challenges started after marriage?
What if she had walked out after the marriage?
Look at the bright side and be happy for yourself and her too. It gives you both to lead your own lives on your own terms.
Easier said than done; but focus on your health and be truthful as always and the right person who understands you and your truth will step in.
All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi Ashish ji Good day , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: It's understandable that you're feeling upset and hurt about the way your relationship ended. Relationships can be complex and sometimes even the most well-intended individuals can have different perspectives and desires.

It's not clear from your description what exactly went wrong between you and your former partner. However, it seems like there were a number of factors that contributed to the breakdown of your relationship, including differences in communication and expectations, conflicts with her family, and her own personal issues.

It's not your fault that you were honest and truthful with her about your health condition. Honesty is important in any relationship, and it's commendable that you were upfront with her about your chronic condition. However, it's also important to recognize that not everyone is equipped to handle the challenges that come with a chronic condition, and it's okay to acknowledge that.

As for what to do now, it's important to give yourself time to heal and process your emotions. Try to focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It's okay to reach out to her again if you feel like you want closure or to apologize for any hurtful things you may have said, but be prepared for the possibility that she may not respond or that the outcome may not be what you hope for.

It's also important to keep in mind that relationships don't always work out, and that's okay. You can learn and grow from this experience, and with time and effort, you can move forward and find happiness and love again. Just remember to be kind to yourself and to take things one day at a time.

Please remeber that just because one person or one situation turned this, it does not mean that the world is like that. It takes all sorts of people to make the world. See your own example. There are more people like you who prefer being with people like them. Honest, straight and loving. There is much more to life than just one past relationship. Look forward. If required, look for a life coach and he will help you get ahead.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. It sounds like you were very honest with your partner about your chronic condition and limitations from the very beginning of your relationship. Despite some ups and downs, you were able to maintain a loving relationship for six years.

However, it seems that after you both shared your plans of marriage with your families, things took a negative turn. Your partner's family disapproved of your medical condition and she started to say hurtful things about it as well. Unfortunately, you both said hurtful things to each other in anger and your relationship ended.

It's understandable that you are struggling to move on, given the time you spent together and the depth of your feelings. It's good to hear that your health has improved, but it's important to also take care of your mental and emotional health.

It's unfortunate that your partner has not responded to your email, but it's possible that she needs more time and space to process her own feelings. It's important to respect her boundaries and give her the time she needs.

In terms of your own healing, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. It's okay to feel hurt and it's important to take the time to grieve the loss of your relationship. As for whether you were wrong in telling her everything true, it's important to be honest in relationships, but it's also important to communicate in a way that is respectful and understanding. It's possible that your partner may have been overwhelmed by your condition and the pressure from her family, which may have led to some of the hurtful things she said.

Ultimately, it's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be with someone who accepts and supports you for who you are, including any medical conditions or limitations.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 30, 2025

Listen
Please help me how do i move one.. i cant stop thinking about us for a moment ..our memories moemnts happiness , how she care about me and how she motivates me ,she always trusted me she cry for me allot even if i talk bad about us ..i cant see or think her or want to hear that she is with someone else… i know she trying but deep down it fears me allot that what if everything goes against what we imagine..i cant loose hope that easily even if there is a 1% chance..
Ans: love alone cannot fight against a family that refuses to listen. If she is truly trying to resist, then she needs to show it, not just through words but through actions. If she is struggling to fight for you, ask yourself—how long can you keep waiting while she battles this emotional war alone? And if, in the end, she is forced into this marriage, what will holding onto hope do to you?

You need to take things one step at a time. Right now, your mind is stuck in a loop of "what ifs," but thinking about the future will only add to your pain. Instead of trying to force yourself to move on immediately, start by shifting your focus. Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry if you need to, but remind yourself that you were someone before this relationship, and you will be someone after it too. Avoid checking up on her or imagining what she is doing—it will only make things worse. Fill your days with things that remind you of who you are outside of this love. Whether it is working on your career, spending time with people who care about you, or even finding new ways to challenge yourself, do anything that stops your mind from going back to the same painful thoughts.

You will not heal overnight, and that is okay. Love does not disappear in a moment, but neither does strength. Right now, you are heartbroken, but one day, you will look back and realize that you survived something you thought would break you. You will love again, you will dream again, and you will find a life that brings you happiness, whether she is in it or not. But for now, take it one day at a time. Let yourself grieve, but don’t let this pain define the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy, and no situation—not even this one—can take that away from you forever.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear Madam, I was a bright student during my school days and my plan was to become a civil servant but that did not succeed even after several attempts. With the advise of my brother i went ahead and pursued Masters at a normal university in Sydney. I did internship and continued staying with my job though it wasn't my field of study. After that what came as a shock was my brother's divorce. We don't know what is the actual issue till date but I tried a lot to fix the gap by talking to his ex-wife but they were very orthodox. I couldn't see my brother suffer because he had planned and arranged so much for her. I had no choice then so i try to harm his ex-wife by spoiling her reputation thinking she will come back for him. In the mean time i got married to a girl who was her relative too thinking my wife can help us in some case but she turned out to be completely in the opposite direction. She was probably convinced by my brother's ex-wife or their relatives that she is not coming back. Even then my brother tried to go meet his ex-wife through many channels. My wife did not help him at all in any aspect. Finally the divorced happened and everything ended. Now we have sought several proposals but nothing seem to be a good fit for him. Most of the girls whom we met on matrimonial sites are fake profiles with something hidden or falsely represented. I would say my brother escaped all this. But we are worried about his life now as he is already in his 40's and he seem to be struggling for a good job and finance. He is very picky probably but doesn't talk much to all of us. Sometimes he even says the game is over so no point looking at a second marriage. My wife and he fought once when he visited us because she didn't want him in our house and she created a fight putting me in the front. After that he stopped coming to our house or see us or talk to us. Things even gets worse sometimes when her brother comes and visits us and stays at our house which my parents don't like. My parents argue that your brother was not allowed to stay for few months then how come her brother is allowed for several months. What kind of partiality is that? I feel i could not do anything for him despite the fact that he is my only brother. He is good at heart and looked after me when i went abroad financially and even came to meet me few times. I tried to send him money, gifts but he is still the same. He communicates with our parents but not with me nor my wife anymore. Kindly give us a good advise.
Ans: Your brother’s distance is not a rejection of you. It is his way of protecting himself. He went through a difficult marriage, an emotional collapse, and then watched people around him — including you — react out of desperation to fix things for him. Even though your intentions came from love, he may have associated those actions with more pain and pressure. When a person has been wounded, silence feels safer than conversation. His withdrawal simply means he is tired, not that he dislikes you.
You also need to understand that the guilt you are carrying is heavier than it needs to be. You tried to intervene in his marriage because you wanted to protect him, not because you wanted to cause harm. Looking back now, with more maturity and clarity, you see the mistakes, but at that time, you were acting out of fear and love. This is why it’s important to forgive yourself instead of punishing yourself over and over.
The conflict between your wife and your brother only added another layer of stress, because it forced you into choosing sides. Your wife reacted emotionally, your brother pulled away, your parents questioned the imbalance — and in the middle of all this, you lost your sense of peace. But their disagreements are not failures on your part. They are the natural result of people operating from insecurity, fear, and past hurt.
What needs to happen now is a shift in your role. You cannot continue trying to solve everything for everyone. You cannot carry your brother’s marriage, your wife’s fears, and your parents’ judgments all at once. It’s time to step out of the role of rescuer and step into the role of a grounded, calm brother who offers presence, not solutions.
Rebuilding your bond with your brother will not come from pushing proposals, sending gifts, or trying to fix his life. It will come from offering him emotional safety. A simple message, expressing that you are sorry for any hurt, that you care for him, and that you are available whenever he feels ready, will speak louder than any effort to arrange his future. Once you send such a message, the healthiest thing you can do is give him space. Sometimes relationships repair themselves in silence, when pressure is removed.
And for yourself, healing begins when you stop believing that every problem in the family rests on your shoulders. You have given more than enough over the years. Now you deserve emotional rest. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel like a brother, not a crisis manager.
Your brother may take time, but distance does not erase love. When he feels safe, he will come closer again. Your responsibility is not to force that moment, but to make sure you are emotionally steady and ready when it happens.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear sir This is regarding my mother's financials. She is 71 years old and she earns a pension of 31k p.m. She has FD's worth 60 lacs and earns interest income of Rs.25k. I wish to know if we can buy mutual funds worth 10 lacs by diverting funds from FD for better returns. She owns a house and does not have house rent commitment . She is currently investing 10k p.m in SIP . Now the lump sum investment of 5 lacs each is intended to be done in HDFC balanced advantage fund Direct Growth and ICICI Prudential balanced advantage fund . Please advise
Ans: You are caring about your mother’s future.
This shows deep responsibility.
Her financial base also looks strong today.
Her pension gives steady cash.
Her FD interest gives extra safety.
Her home is secure.
Her SIP shows healthy discipline.

» Her Present Financial Position
Your mother is 71.
Her age makes safety a key priority.
But some growth is also needed.

She gets Rs 31000 pension each month.
This covers most basic needs.
Her FD interest adds Rs 25000 per month.
So her total monthly inflow is near Rs 56000.
This is healthy at her age.

She owns her house.
She has no rent stress.
This gives great relief.

She has FD worth Rs 60 lakh.
This gives safe income.
She also runs a SIP of Rs 10000 per month.
This is a good step.
It keeps her connected to long-term growth.

Her total structure looks balanced.
She has safety.
She has income.
She has some growth exposure.
She has low liabilities.

This is a very stable base for her age.

» Understanding Her Risk Level
At age 71, risk must be low.
But risk cannot be zero.
Zero risk pushes money into FD only.
FD return stays low.
FD return sometimes falls after tax.
FD return often stays below inflation.

This reduces future buying power.
Inflation in India stays high.
Medical costs rise fast.
Home repair costs rise.
Daily needs rise.
So some growth is needed.

Balanced exposure gives stability.
Balanced allocation protects both sides.
She should not go too high on equity.
She should not avoid equity fully.
A middle path works best at this age.

Your idea of shifting Rs 10 lakh for growth is fine.
But the type of fund must be chosen well.
The plan must also follow her age.
Her risk must be respected.

» Impact of Growth Options at Her Age
Growth funds move with markets.
Markets move up and down.
These swings can disturb seniors.
But some controlled equity helps fight inflation.

Funds with mix of equity and debt help.
They adjust risk.
They protect capital better.
They manage volatility better.
They offer smoother experience.
They suit senior citizens more.

So a mild growth approach is healthy.
This gives better long-term value.
This gives inflation protection.
This reduces long-term stress.

Still, the fund choice must be careful.
And the plan style must be guided.

» Concerns With Direct Plans
You mentioned direct funds.
Direct funds seem cheap.
But cheap is not always better.

Direct funds give no guidance.
Direct funds give no review support.
Direct funds give no risk matching.
Direct funds need constant study.
Direct funds need skill.
Direct funds need time.

Many investors think direct plans save money.
But small savings can cause big losses.
Wrong choices reduce returns.
Wrong timing reduces gains.
Wrong exit increases tax.

Regular plans bring professional support through MFDs with CFP credentials.
They offer yearly reviews.
They track risk closely.
They guide corrections.
They support crisis moments.
They help in asset mix.
They help keep emotions stable.

This support is very helpful for seniors.
Your mother will not need to study markets.
She will not need to track cycles.
She will not need to worry about volatility.
She can stay calm.

So regular plans may suit her better.
The small extra fee is actually buying professional hand-holding.
This hand-holding protects wealth.
This reduces mistakes.
This brings long-term peace.

» Her Liquidity Need
At age 71, liquidity matters.
She must access money fast during emergencies.
Medical needs can arise.
Health cost can be sudden.
She must be ready.

FD gives quick access.
This is useful.
So FD should not be reduced too much.

Shifting Rs 10 lakh is acceptable.
But shifting more may reduce comfort.
She must always feel safe.
Her emotional comfort is important.

So Rs 10 lakh is the right level.
It keeps major FD corpus safe.
It keeps growth exposure controlled.

This balance supports her peace.

» Her Current SIP
She puts Rs 10000 per month in SIP.
This is positive.
This brings slow steady growth.
This builds long-term value.

She should continue this SIP.
She may reduce it later based on comfort.
But she should not stop it now.
This SIP adds inflation protection.
This SIP builds a small buffer.

A continuous SIP helps smooth markets.
It builds confidence.

» Income Stability for Her
Her pension covers needs.
Her FD interest adds comfort.
Her SIP invests for future needs.
Her home saves rent.

So she has stable income.
Her life standard is maintained.
Her risk level can stay low.

Her monthly cash flow is positive.
Her needs are covered.
So she need not worry about returns too much.
But a little growth is still healthy.

» Should She Shift Rs 10 Lakh From FD?
Yes, she can shift Rs 10 lakh.
This does not hurt her safety.
This does not shake her cash flow.
This supports inflation protection.

But the fund must be right.
The plan must match her age.
The risk must stay low.
The allocation must stay controlled.

A balanced strategy is better.
Smooth returns suit seniors.
Moderate risk suits her age.

Still, the fund must be in regular plan.
Direct plan may cause long-term risk.
Direct plans place the heavy load on the investor.
At her age, this stress is avoidable.
Regular plans give smoother support.

» Why Not Use the Specific Schemes Mentioned
The schemes you named are direct plans.
Direct plans give no support.
Direct plans leave all decisions to you.
Direct plans leave all risk checks on you.

Also, each fund has its own style.
Each adjusts differently.
You must check suitability.
You must review them yearly.
This needs time and skill.

For her age, this is not ideal.
A simple, guided, regular plan works better.

Also, some funds change risk levels fast.
Some increase equity without warning.
Some change style in market shifts.
This can disturb seniors.
She must stay with stable funds.
She must stay with guided models.

This protects her long-term peace.

» The Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds suit Indian markets.
India grows fast.
Sectors rise and fall fast.
Many companies grow fast.
Many also fall fast.

Active managers study these shifts.
They adjust quicker.
They avoid weak sectors.
They add strong businesses.
They protect downside.
They enhance upside.

Index funds cannot do this.
Index funds copy indices.
Indices carry weak companies also.
Indices carry overpriced stocks.
Indices do not avoid bad phases.
Indices cannot change weight fast.
So index funds give no defensive shield.

Actively managed funds work harder.
They try to reduce shocks.
They try to smooth volatility.
This suits seniors more.

So an active regular plan through an MFD with CFP credentials is better for her.

» Tax Angle on Mutual Fund Redemption
Capital gain rules matter.
For equity funds, long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh have 12.5% tax.
Short-term gains have 20% tax.
Debt fund gains follow your tax slab.

Senior investors must plan exits well.
They must avoid excess tax shock.
They must stagger withdrawals.
They must redeem only when needed.

A guided regular plan helps avoid tax mistakes.
Direct funds offer no such guidance.

» Her Emergency Preparedness
At her age, emergency readiness is key.
She must have quick cash.
She must have easy access.
Her FD base helps this.

She has Rs 60 lakh in FD.
This is strong.
She should keep most of this.
Maybe an emergency bucket of Rs 5 to 10 lakh must stay fully liquid.

This brings peace.
This prevents panic.
This avoids forced redemption.

» Family Support System
You are involved.
This protects her retirement.
You can offer emotional help.
You can offer decision help.
This support makes her financial life safe.

Family support keeps stress low for seniors.
She will feel secure.
She will stay calm during market changes.

» How Her Future Years Can Stay Stable
She needs comfort.
She needs safety.
She needs liquidity.
She needs some growth.
She needs health cover.
She needs emotional peace.

A control-based plan helps:
– Keep most money in FD
– Keep some in balanced mutual funds
– Keep SIP running
– Keep money easily accessible
– Keep risk low
– Keep asset mix simple
– Keep tax impact low
– Keep reviews yearly

This keeps her retirement smooth.

» Built-In Protection for Senior Life
Her plan must also protect future risk.
Medical cost may rise.
Home repairs may occur.
Occasional family support may be needed.

So she must:
– Keep cash bucket
– Keep healthy insurance
– Keep documents updated
– Keep financial papers organised
– Keep digital and physical files safe

This brings long-term safety.

» Withdrawal Strategy
She may not need withdrawals now.
Her income covers expenses.
But she may need money in later years.

She should follow a layered method:

Short-term needs from FD

Medium needs from balanced funds

Long-term needs from SIP corpus

Emergency money from liquid FD

This spreads risk.
This avoids sudden losses.
This protects her capital.

» Assessing the Rs 10 Lakh Transfer
This transfer is fine.
But it must not go to direct plans.
It must go to regular plans.
Guided plans reduce mistakes.
Guided plans suit seniors.

Split into two funds is fine.
But avoid too much complexity.
Simple structure reduces stress.
Easy structure improves clarity.

So two regular plans through an MFD with CFP credentials is ideal.

» Final Insights
Your mother has a strong base.
Her pension is stable.
Her FD pool is healthy.
Her home reduces cost.
Her SIP adds growth.

Adding Rs 10 lakh into balanced mutual funds is a good idea.
But shift to regular plans with expert guidance.
Direct plans are not suitable for seniors.
They bring more risk.
They bring more complexity.
They bring more stress.

Regular plans bring reviews.
Regular plans match risk.
Regular plans reduce mistakes.
Regular plans suit her age.

Her future looks stable with this mix.
Her life can stay comfortable.
She can enjoy her senior years with peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 53 years with a wife and two children. My total savings comprising of MF, Shares, PDF,EPF, NPS & FD are approx. 3Cr. Our current monthly outgoing including SIPs is approximately 100000. Will the above savings amount be sufficient to sustain for the next 20 years?
Ans: You have managed to build Rs 3 Cr by age 53.
This shows steady discipline.
Your savings mix also looks balanced.
Your family seems stable.
Your cost control also looks fair.
This gives a good base for the next stage of life.

» Your Current Position
Your savings stand near Rs 3 Cr.
Your monthly outflow is near Rs 100000.
This includes your SIP amount also.
Your family has four members.
You have two children.
Your wife is with you.
You have a mixed pool across MF, shares, PF, EPF, NPS, and FD.
This mix brings both growth and stability.
This gives you a good base.

Your age is 53.
You have around 7 to 12 working years left.
This period is crucial.
Your decisions now shape the next 20 years.
Your savings rate also matters.
Your cost control also shapes the future.

Today’s numbers show you have a good foundation.
But sustainability depends on many factors.
We must study inflation, spending pattern, growth pattern, tax, risk level, health cost, and cash flow flexibility.

» Understanding the Cash Flow Stress
Your family spends around Rs 100000 today.
This includes SIP.
After retirement, SIP will stop.
But living costs will continue.
Costs increase each year.
Inflation can eat cash fast.
So we must ensure growth in wealth.
Slow growth can stress the corpus.
Fast growth brings more shocks.
So balance is key.

Rs 3 Cr looks large today.
But 20 years is long.
Inflation reduces buying power.
Medical costs also rise.
Family needs also shift.

Your money can last 20 years.
But it needs correct planning.
Blind use of the corpus will not help.
Proper flow matters.
Proper asset selection also matters.
You need steady growth.
You need low shocks.
You need stable income.

» Role of Growth Assets
Many families fear growth assets.
But growth assets are needed today.
Inflation is strong in India.
If money stays in FD only, it suffers.
FD return stays low.
Post-tax return stays even lower.
FD return does not beat inflation.
FD cannot support long-term plans.

Mutual funds bring better growth.
Actively managed funds bring better research.
They allow expert judgement.
They can handle market swings better.
They study sectors and businesses.
They adjust the portfolio.
They aim for more consistent returns.
This helps protect wealth.

Some people choose direct plans.
But direct plans need full time study.
They need skill.
They need discipline.
Most investors do not have the time.
Wrong choices can reduce returns.
Direct plans give no guidance.
Direct plans can reduce long-term peace.

Regular plans through an MFD with CFP credential give better support.
They help with reviews.
They help with corrections.
They help with rebalancing.
They help manage behaviour.
They save time and stress.

You already have MF exposure.
This is good.
You should keep this path.
Active fund management will help long-term stability.

» Role of Safety Assets
You have EPF, PPF, NPS, FD.
These give safety.
They give peace.
But they give lower return.
Too much safety reduces future income.
A mix of both is needed.

Safety assets give steady income.
But they do not grow fast.
They cannot support 20 years alone.
So balance must be kept.

» Assessing the Sustainability for 20 Years
Rs 3 Cr can support 20 years.
But it depends on:

Your retirement age

Your spending pattern

Your ability to reduce costs

Your asset mix

Your growth rate

Your inflation level

Your health cost

Your emergency needs

If your core expenses stay in control, your corpus can last.
If you invest well, your corpus can support you.
If you avoid panic, your wealth will grow.
Your children may also get settled.
Your own needs may reduce.

The key is proper planning.
Without planning, the corpus can shrink fast.
With planning, it will last long.

» Inflation Impact
Inflation is silent.
It eats buying power.
Costs double every few years.
Food rises.
Health rises.
Daily life rises.
School fees rise.
Lifestyle rises.

If your money grows slower than inflation, you lose power.
So growth assets must be part of the plan.
They help beat inflation.
They help protect lifestyle.
They help support long-term needs.

This is why active mutual funds stay useful.
They bring research-driven decisions.
They help fight inflation better.
They stay flexible.
They move with the economy.

» Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
You stand near retirement zone.
You still have some working life.
You still earn.
You still save.
Your income supports your SIP.
This is good.
This is the right stage to improve planning.

Your SIP amount builds future cash.
Your insurance must be proper.
Your emergency fund must be strong.
Your health cover must be strong.

You have PF and NPS.
These give safety.
They bring stability.
They give steady return.
But they do not give high return.
Growth will come from MF and equity.

Your retirement readiness depends on:

Cash flow plan

Growth plan

Insurance plan

Medical cover plan

Long-term income plan

Withdrawal plan

When all parts align, you will stay secure.

» Withdrawal Strategy for the Future
When you retire, cash flow must stay smooth.
You cannot depend on FD alone.
You cannot depend only on EPF.
You cannot depend on one asset class.
You need a mix.

Your withdrawal should come from:

Some from safety assets

Some from growth assets

Some from periodic rebalancing

This helps you avoid panic selling.
This helps you maintain stability.
This protects your lifestyle.

Tax must also be managed.
Tax on equity MF has new rules.
Long-term gain above Rs 1.25 lakh has 12.5% tax.
Short-term gain has 20% tax.
Debt MF gain follows your tax slab.
These rules shape your withdrawal plan.
You must plan redemptions wisely.

» Health and Family Factors
Health cost is rising in India.
Hospital bills rise fast.
Health shocks drain savings.
So good health cover is needed.
Family needs must be studied.

Your children may still need some support.
Their education or marriage may need funds.
These costs must be planned early.
You should not dip into retirement money.
Clear planning avoids stress.

Your wife also needs future support.
Joint planning is better.
Shared decisions help discipline.

» Need for a Structured Review
A structured review every year is needed.
Your income may change.
Your savings may rise.
Your spending may shift.
Your goals may change.
Your risk level may shift.
Your family needs may change.

Review helps you stay on track.
Review helps catch issues early.
Review helps you correct mistakes.
Review brings peace.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide reviews.
This support builds confidence.
This reduces stress.
This brings clarity.

» How to Strengthen Your Position
You already stand strong.
But you can still improve.
Here are some steps to make your 20 years safer.

Keep your growth-safety mix balanced

Increase your SIP when income allows

Avoid direct plans if guidance needed

Use regular plans for proper support

Avoid real estate due to low returns

Increase your emergency fund

Improve your health cover

Avoid ULIP and mixed plans if you ever have them

Review your EPF and NPS allocation

Track your spending carefully

Plan for yearly rebalancing

Keep enough liquidity for short needs

Keep boredom decisions away

Stay invested even in tough times

Trust long-term compounding

Each step adds stability.
Your family will feel safe.

» Building a Strong Future Income Flow
Income must not come from one basket.
Income should come from:

MF SWP

PF interest

FD ladder

NPS withdrawal in a slow way

Equity redemption in a planned way

This spreads risk.
This spreads tax.
This spreads stress.

Staggered withdrawal helps peace.
Your money grows even while you spend.
Your corpus stays healthy.

» Maintaining Low Stress in Retirement
Retirement should be peaceful.
Money stress should be low.
Good planning ensures this.

Keep clear communication with your family.
Keep your files organised.
Keep your goals updated.
Keep calm during market swings.

Your corpus can support you.
Your strategy will shape your peace.

» Final Insights
Your Rs 3 Cr corpus is a strong base.
Your age gives you time to improve more.
Your monthly spending is manageable.
Your asset mix supports your future.

But planning is needed.
Cash flow must be aligned with inflation.
Growth assets must stay active.
Safety assets must be balanced.
Withdrawal must be planned wisely.
Health cost must be covered.
Risk must be contained.

With proper planning, your wealth can support the next 20 years.
Your family can live with comfort.
Your lifestyle can stay stable.
Your future can stay safe.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, I am 60 yrs and just superannuated. I have no pension and the spread of corpus is as follows; - MF & Shares portfolio value is around 1 Cr. SWP of 40000/month initiated. But SIP of 20000/month is also on for next six months - FDs in bank is around 3. Cr and are in Quarterly pay-out interest - PPF of 20 Lac - RBI Bond of 16 lac half yearly interest pay out - PF 90 Lac not withdrawn so far as I can extend this with 1 yr. - Few SA pension 63000 per year Please do suggest if the above can give me expenses to meet 2.5 Lac/m for next 20 yrs Best regards,
Ans: Hi Deepa,

Overall your total networth is 5 crores (including PF, FD, MF, binds etc.) - we will break it into 4 crores (which can be used to fund your retirement) and 1 crore for emergencies.
If invested correctly, this 4 crores can fund you for 20 years and not more than that. You need to invest 4 crores so that they fetch you around 11-12% XIRR to fund your monthly expenses. Also withdraw your PF, liquidate 2 crores from FD and reinvest entirely.

Take the help of a professional who will design your portfolio keeping in mind your monthly requirements for the next 20 years.

Hence please consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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