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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

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Ojo Question by Ojo on Aug 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Thank you so much , i understand ..after all I did .. wait for her at hospital, pick her up from the hospital at 6 am or wait 2 hours outside hospital... I always felt i deserved more from her side I am not able to move on because I feel very unfinished..feels like she owns me peace and affection for all I did atleast once by being properly in a relationship with me ,that's what makes it hard to move on

Ans: Dear Ojo,

I understand it is hard to move on, especially without proper closure. But life is unfair at times. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself. It's time you give the same love and care to yourself. Spend time with your close friends and family, who love you and prioritize you. Find new hobbies, follow your passion, and generally do things that make you happy. Right now, you might think that she is the only thing that can make you happy. But, that will pass. She chose herself, which is fine. Now, you should too. I am sure you will come out of this soon.

Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu Good day , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Isn't it proof enough that you physically feel better after the break-up that you both are better without each other?
And to answer your doubts on whether it was foolish/wrong of you to speak the truth? NO, you were absolutely truthful and for some reason if she didn't find the person behind all it in you, then she isn't the one for you.
Quit mulling over someone who does not respect your space and identity.
Family involvement and then the engagement only put her deeper into coming close to reality and she was possibly was never ready to be committed to you and your truth. And honestly, it's not possible for everyone to take on a challenge within a marriage.
So, if she decided to go ahead and move on, and you also feel better health-wise, it's only a matter of you giving this a positive spin in your mind to start to feel better.
What would have happened if the challenges started after marriage?
What if she had walked out after the marriage?
Look at the bright side and be happy for yourself and her too. It gives you both to lead your own lives on your own terms.
Easier said than done; but focus on your health and be truthful as always and the right person who understands you and your truth will step in.
All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi Ashish ji Good day , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: It's understandable that you're feeling upset and hurt about the way your relationship ended. Relationships can be complex and sometimes even the most well-intended individuals can have different perspectives and desires.

It's not clear from your description what exactly went wrong between you and your former partner. However, it seems like there were a number of factors that contributed to the breakdown of your relationship, including differences in communication and expectations, conflicts with her family, and her own personal issues.

It's not your fault that you were honest and truthful with her about your health condition. Honesty is important in any relationship, and it's commendable that you were upfront with her about your chronic condition. However, it's also important to recognize that not everyone is equipped to handle the challenges that come with a chronic condition, and it's okay to acknowledge that.

As for what to do now, it's important to give yourself time to heal and process your emotions. Try to focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It's okay to reach out to her again if you feel like you want closure or to apologize for any hurtful things you may have said, but be prepared for the possibility that she may not respond or that the outcome may not be what you hope for.

It's also important to keep in mind that relationships don't always work out, and that's okay. You can learn and grow from this experience, and with time and effort, you can move forward and find happiness and love again. Just remember to be kind to yourself and to take things one day at a time.

Please remeber that just because one person or one situation turned this, it does not mean that the world is like that. It takes all sorts of people to make the world. See your own example. There are more people like you who prefer being with people like them. Honest, straight and loving. There is much more to life than just one past relationship. Look forward. If required, look for a life coach and he will help you get ahead.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. It sounds like you were very honest with your partner about your chronic condition and limitations from the very beginning of your relationship. Despite some ups and downs, you were able to maintain a loving relationship for six years.

However, it seems that after you both shared your plans of marriage with your families, things took a negative turn. Your partner's family disapproved of your medical condition and she started to say hurtful things about it as well. Unfortunately, you both said hurtful things to each other in anger and your relationship ended.

It's understandable that you are struggling to move on, given the time you spent together and the depth of your feelings. It's good to hear that your health has improved, but it's important to also take care of your mental and emotional health.

It's unfortunate that your partner has not responded to your email, but it's possible that she needs more time and space to process her own feelings. It's important to respect her boundaries and give her the time she needs.

In terms of your own healing, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. It's okay to feel hurt and it's important to take the time to grieve the loss of your relationship. As for whether you were wrong in telling her everything true, it's important to be honest in relationships, but it's also important to communicate in a way that is respectful and understanding. It's possible that your partner may have been overwhelmed by your condition and the pressure from her family, which may have led to some of the hurtful things she said.

Ultimately, it's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be with someone who accepts and supports you for who you are, including any medical conditions or limitations.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
I’ve always aspired to work in the Ministry of External Affairs, but I know the competition is tough. I will be appearing for the SSC CGL exam this year. For Tier 2, which sections or strategies should I prioritise to boost my chances of landing my dream role in this recruitment drive?
Ans: The SSC CGL exam is a competitive entry-level job in the Ministry of External Affairs (MEA), with the main role being Assistant Section Officer (ASO). Tier 2 of the exam consists of multiple papers, with Paper I being required for all postings, including MEA. The main focus areas are mathematical quantitative aptitude, thinking and general intelligence, English language and understanding, and general knowledge.

Quantitative aptitude (200 Marks) is a high-scoring but time-consuming area, with areas such as algebra, geometry, trigonometry, menuration, data interpretation, and number system. Practice and strengthen basic skills, focusing on accuracy and speed. Resources for pattern comprehension include R.S. Aggarwal's Gradeup and Testbook quantitative aptitude with online mocks.

English language and comprehension (200 Marks) is high-scoring and essential for MEA, with areas like grammar, vocabulary, comprehension, synonyms and antonyms, and sentence correction. Strategies include daily reading schedules, vocabulary expansion using Norman Lewis's Word Power Made Easy, and solving cloze tests.

General awareness (100 Marks) is crucial for MEA aspirants, with areas like current affairs, international relations, Indian polity, geography, history, and economics. Stay informed about foreign policy changes, NCERTs, and NCERTs for stationary sections.

General intelligence and reasoning (60 Marks) is a scoring section, with areas like puzzles, coding-decoding, blood relations, series, and direction tests. Techniques include trying full-length mock tests, time management, previous year reports, and preparing for essays and letter writing on global concerns. All the Best for SSC CGL Exam.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Career
Hello Sir, I’m back to you with a question . Sir, doing mechanical in top nits or iiits or bits, what are the possibilities to do ms in computer science. I keep hearing from everyone to go for cse to do ms cs , but my daughter prefers good college first and then cse, based on her capability it’s extremely difficult to get cse in tier1 , so she says I will do mechanical in tier 1 and do ms cs abroad. Please guide on the pros , cons Sir
Ans: Pursuing Mechanical Engineering at top-notional institutes like IIT, NIT, IIIT, or BITS or any other NIRF-Ranked Engineering It may please be noted that if your daugther performs well in 1st Year of her BE/BTech, she will be upgraded to CSE Branch (based on the Institute's Internal Sliding Policy). Colleges offer advantages such as a strong alumni network, branch flexibility, and a strong resume for MS admissions. Students can enroll in elective courses in programming, data structures, and computer applications to prepare for an MS in CS.

However, transitioning from Mechanical to CS for an MS overseas can be challenging due to the need for prior knowledge in CS principles. With more self-learning and certificates, it is possible. Additionally, CS is tough for MS admissions in the US, and students may have to create a strong profile through internships, online courses, and certifications in CS domains without a CS degree.

To ensure a seamless transition, students should select electives in programming and computer science based on their undergraduate course (if the institute allows). Online programs for courses in data structures, Python, and artificial intelligence can be found on CS-oriented sites like Coursera, edX, or NPTEL. Summer internships involving data analysis, coding, or automation projects can also be sought. Multidisciplinary initiatives like mechanical engineering automation or computational fluid dynamics (CFD) can also be explored.

If your daughter's main goal is to pursue an MS in CS, it is better to consider Tier 1 Institutes with CS or IT branches and top-tier institutes with Mechanical focus actively pursuing CS. All the Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Recently, I (28M) had surgery and have been bedridden for 15 days. During this time, my girlfriend told me her female friend wanted to meet up with a guy. This guy was bringing along a male friend whom I’ve asked my girlfriend to avoid in the past because he tends to get touchy with her. They planned to stay in a hotel, and her friend wanted to be with the guy at night, meaning my girlfriend and the touchy guy would likely share a single room. A couple of days before the trip, she asked me if she should go. I told her it was her choice but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Despite that, she went, and when I confronted her, she gave responses like: • “I didn’t invite the touchy guy; the other guy did.” • “Just because you’re bedridden, you don’t want me to go outside.” • “I didn’t touch him; he got touchy with me.” Yeah, maybe I’m jealous or overthinking, but this whole situation has made me unsure about marriage altogether. Am I overreacting?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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