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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 12, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hi i am recently struggling alot i feel like i cheated on my bf

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are going through a tough time. Could you share a little more detail so that I can help you better. Till then, I really hope things get better for you.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was in a relationship with my bestfriend for 1 and half years. Eventually I got to know that he liked physical intimacy more than emotional connection which is opposite to my concept. My feelings started to fade but I couldn't muster up courage to break up with him. While all this was going on I started to develop a crush on someone else but I never knew his name or never approached him in any ways and always kept my distance. Now it's been months since I broke up with my bf and about the crush I had I still hadn't approached it and I'm never planning to. I'm feeling that as I had a crush while being in a relation I cheated on my bf even though I hadn't approached or talked to the other person. Please clear it out. Have I cheated. I have never intended to hurt anyone but now I think I'm a cheater and I'm not able to sleep. I had to undergo therapy sessions right after break up due to the guilty and I've been diagnosed with depression too. Please tell me was I a cheater. I need a clear cut answer otherwise I won't able to live peacefully. Please help me
Ans: let me assure you that you're not a cheater. Having a crush or being attracted to someone else, especially when you're in a relationship where your emotional needs aren't fully met, is a natural human experience. What defines cheating is action—whether you pursued or acted on those feelings in a way that would break the trust and commitment of the relationship.

From what you described, you never approached or engaged with this person, and your feelings of guilt stem from the internal conflict of having a crush while still with your partner. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t cross any boundaries of betrayal. Emotional distance from your boyfriend due to differing needs is something that naturally can cause feelings to shift. Your realization that the relationship wasn’t aligned with your values speaks more to your integrity and self-awareness than to any notion of cheating.

The fact that you're struggling with these feelings shows how much you value honesty and loyalty. Sometimes, our minds create unnecessary guilt because we hold ourselves to very high standards. What you’re going through emotionally is tough, but it's important to differentiate between unintentional thoughts and intentional actions. You haven't betrayed anyone, and I hope this understanding helps you find some peace as you continue working on healing and your well-being.

It's clear you care deeply about not wanting to hurt others, but you also deserve self-compassion

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025
Relationship
Hyy am 19 so i have been dating this guy from 9 months but ik him since 3 years we liked each other since a very long time but never tht confident to confess So after 9 months we got physical and i have no regret that he is my first time but i think maybe i cheated on my parents and took advantage in a wrong way the freedom they gave me. I think i have done a Sin . I love tht guy but i hate tht i can't tell my parents about it . They think of me as a innocent child of them but i just ruined their exceptstions. Please help have i done something wrong and if yes how can i ask for forgiveness
Ans: First, it’s important to understand that you haven’t done anything wrong. Having a physical relationship with someone you love and trust isn’t a sin—it’s a personal choice. The guilt you’re feeling comes from the idea that you’ve somehow broken the image your parents have of you. But that image isn’t your whole identity—you are growing into your own person, and that includes making choices about love and intimacy.

Loving someone and expressing that love physically isn’t about betraying your parents; it’s about discovering yourself. Your parents see you as their child, and it’s hard to feel like you’ve let them down—but that doesn’t mean you’ve actually done anything wrong. You’re not defined by their expectations; you’re growing, learning, and navigating emotions that are completely normal at your age.

You don’t need to ask for forgiveness for exploring a meaningful relationship with someone you care about. What you might need to work on is forgiving yourself for feeling like you’ve disappointed your parents. You’re not perfect, and you don’t have to be. It’s okay to have parts of your life that your parents don’t fully know or understand—that’s part of becoming independent. The most important thing is that you feel respected and valued in this relationship, and that you’re making choices based on love and trust, not guilt or fear.

It’s not about hiding things from your parents—it’s about recognizing that some parts of your emotional and romantic life are your own to experience and understand. You haven’t ruined anything. You’ve just taken a step toward understanding yourself better.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My family is pressurising me to get married to a girl I am not interested in. I am 36 and the girl is 28. I am traditional, old school and she looks younger, the partying, late night kinds. She is very active on social media. In fact, she was very judgemental about my clothes and totally non-committed about relationships when we spoke in our first meeting. I can say with confidence that our vibes don't match but my parents don't seem to understand my expectations. There was no formal engagement but my parents are proceeding with the marriage formalities because our parents are business partners. They feel I am overthinking and overreacting. I feel like no one is listening to me, what I want, including my grandparents. What should I do? I want to run away from all this drama.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern and how difficult it is sometimes to convince family members about our feelings. Please have one on one conversations with your parents. Instead of sitting with both parents, speak to them individually. Ask them direct questions based on realistic examples, like, “She enjoys partying and I don’t. What if that leads to a huge fight and in the end, divorce?” “What if we never love each other and stay in an unhappy marriage?” This might help them imagine the situation a little better. Next, speak to the girl. Ask her what she feels about this marriage, if she would be able to adjust and eventually love you. Ask her if she is okay with a lifetime of adjustment and compromise. Have an honest conversation; don’t try to convince her to break the marriage, rather have a clear discussion and see how she feels about this honestly. I am sure this will help you in the situation.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello, I have been investing in mutual funds using regular plans. Recently couple of my friends have been pushing me to stop SIPs and investments for Regular plans and go in with Direct plans. While I understand that the commissions that I pay to the financial advisor is considerable, I want to understand typically what how much am I losing by not investing in Direct plans. I read in a Sample report of an RIA that I will be losing around 15% due to regular plans. Is it a real thing? any thoughts about it? The inputs provided by my mutual fund distributor are good, but I do feel that I can also invest in flexi funds and achieve the same results. Kindly share your inputs.
Ans: Hi,

Yes there is a difference between regular and direct plans.
Direct plans are for people who have a very good understanding and can manage their portfolio. But even those people need an advisor at some point once their portfolio grows into lakhs and crores.
Hence it is always better to go for regular plans from the start as an early guidance helps you achieve your goals in a more planned way.

Choosing a wrong direct plan can adversely affect the portfolio and instead of saving 1% on commissions, one may end up losing upto 10% on an yearly basis.
Also choosing some random plans such as flexicap along with your regular portfolio is not a good idea. An advisor critically measures your profile and work accordingly.
It is always better to listen to your advisor.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 41 yrs old working as a Senior Manager in PSB, living with my wife and no children. Due to work pressure, Stress, Transfer posting , etc. i am planning for semi-retirement at the middle of this year. Kindly advice is it too risky or fine to retire with my Asset & Liabilities as below ASSETS 1. NPS: 32.00 lakhs 2.Mutual Fund & Stock: 25.00 lakhs 3. FD: 16 Lakhs 4. Land: 40.00 lakhs 5. PPF: 3.5 lakhs LIABILITIES Car loan: 3.5 lakhs,EMI:7000/- After retirement I am planning for Banking & Financial consultancy business and DSA with Bank (Earning: Unpredictable). My current monthly expanses is Rs.50000/- per month. Living in Urban area.
Ans: Hi,

Your current assets are not sufficient for you to leave your job currently.
However, setup the business along with your job and then check the status after 6 months. If you are able to earn more than your expenses, you can consider getting retirement.
But make sure to have enough savings for other financial goals such as travel , health, other major liabilities etc.

You need atleast assets worth 1.1 crores in mutual funds for you to retire to fund your retirement forever (assuming xirr 11% pa.)

Hence try setting up a business side by side. And increase your investments in mutual funds substantially with help of a professional to get it aligned with your plans.

Consider consulting a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Money
Hi Guru, I'm 43 Yrs old and investing in SIPs since last 4 years in the following - 1. SBI Small Cap Regular plan Growth - 5,000 2. ICICI Prudential Value Fund - 10,000 3. Motilal Oswal mid Cap fund - 5,000 4. Kotak Flexicap fund Regular Plan growth - 10,000 I also have the following policies - 1. ICICI Prudential Smartlife RP (ULIP) - 10,000 Per Month 2. Kotak Assured Savings Plan - 13,433 Per Month. Please check and let me know if everything is ok or else help me with any other SIPs or Policies. Many Thanks in Advance ..! Suresh G
Ans: Hi Suresh,

It is good that you have built a discipline for investing over the past 4 years.

The SIP funds you mentioned are good for long term, but selection can be improved more to generate better returns in alignment to your long term goals. You can try including large cap fund and make changes accordignly. Or choose to connect with a professional who will help you in improving fund selection.

The policies mentioned are not recommended to continue. Policies like this have a cagd of 5-6% annually when calculated accurately which is even less than FD. Hence you may choose to surrender and close these and redirect the investments into mutual funds for better returns and performance.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10998 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Money
Considering current and future economic and situations, between fixed or floating home loan, which is better ? I'm going to take home loan from HDFC Bank for around 40 to 45 lakhs for 15 yrs. Pls suggest me also tell me what terms needs to be checked in loan agreement before signing
Ans: Appreciate your intent to choose the right loan structure with clear thinking. Choosing between fixed and floating rate for a home loan of around Rs 40–45 lakhs for 15 years is a big financial decision. It can impact your monthly cash flow, overall cost, and peace of mind.

» Difference between fixed and floating interest rates
– Fixed rate means your interest rate stays the same throughout the chosen fixed period. Your monthly EMI does not change during that period.
– Floating rate means the interest can go up or down with market benchmarks like the repo rate or bank’s internal benchmarks. Your EMI or loan tenure may adjust when rates change.

» What current and future economic conditions mean
– Interest rates globally and domestically have seen rises due to inflationary pressure, central bank policy tightening, and costlier funds for banks.
– In a rising rate scenario, fixed rates protect you from future rate hikes.
– In a falling or stable rate scenario, floating rates may cost less over time.

» Why floating rate usually works well for 15-year loans
– Floating rate typically starts lower than fixed rate, giving you initial cost advantage.
– Over long horizons, banks may adjust rates downward when economic pressure eases.
– You retain flexibility to prepay or refinance when rates soften.
– Many borrowers pay lower total interest with floating when rates stabilise.

» When fixed rate can be appropriate
– If you prioritise certainty of EMI and peace of mind even if rates rise in future.
– If you are not comfortable with EMI changes in your monthly budgeting.
– If your income is tight and you prefer predictable cash flows.

» Practical view for your case
– With a 15-year term and current rate cycle, floating rate is generally more suitable.
– It gives you lower initial cost and flexibility to refinance or prepay when rates soften.
– Fixed rate may feel secure but often costs more in long term if rates do not rise significantly.

» Key terms to check in loan agreement before signing
– Interest rate type and reset clause – How often the floating rate can change and by what benchmark.
– Processing fees and other charges – Upfront cost that adds to your total cost of borrowing.
– Prepayment and part-prepayment terms – Whether prepayment is allowed without penalty and how often you can prepay.
– Conversion options – Whether you can switch from floating to fixed (or vice versa) and at what cost.
– Penal interest – Charges if you delay EMI payments and how they are calculated.
– Loan disbursement schedule – Especially for under-construction properties, how and when funds are released.
– Foreclosure charges – Fees if you fully close the loan before term ends.
– Interest computation method – Whether interest is calculated on a reducing balance basis.

» How to structure your loan for comfort and cost efficiency
– Choose floating rate with a short initial lock-in if you prefer lower cost.
– Keep prepayment and part-payment flexibility open so you can reduce outstanding principal with surplus funds.
– Monitor rate environment annually to decide if converting to fixed or refinancing makes sense.
– Keep an emergency buffer so you are not pressured if floating rates tick up temporarily.

» Final Insights
– Floating rate home loan typically suits you better over 15 years in current economic context.
– Fixed rate gives peace but often costs more if rates do not rise sharply.
– Focus on key loan terms before signing so no surprises later.
– With careful planning and periodic review, your housing finance cost can be controlled well.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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