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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 12, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hi i am recently struggling alot i feel like i cheated on my bf

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are going through a tough time. Could you share a little more detail so that I can help you better. Till then, I really hope things get better for you.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was in a relationship with my bestfriend for 1 and half years. Eventually I got to know that he liked physical intimacy more than emotional connection which is opposite to my concept. My feelings started to fade but I couldn't muster up courage to break up with him. While all this was going on I started to develop a crush on someone else but I never knew his name or never approached him in any ways and always kept my distance. Now it's been months since I broke up with my bf and about the crush I had I still hadn't approached it and I'm never planning to. I'm feeling that as I had a crush while being in a relation I cheated on my bf even though I hadn't approached or talked to the other person. Please clear it out. Have I cheated. I have never intended to hurt anyone but now I think I'm a cheater and I'm not able to sleep. I had to undergo therapy sessions right after break up due to the guilty and I've been diagnosed with depression too. Please tell me was I a cheater. I need a clear cut answer otherwise I won't able to live peacefully. Please help me
Ans: let me assure you that you're not a cheater. Having a crush or being attracted to someone else, especially when you're in a relationship where your emotional needs aren't fully met, is a natural human experience. What defines cheating is action—whether you pursued or acted on those feelings in a way that would break the trust and commitment of the relationship.

From what you described, you never approached or engaged with this person, and your feelings of guilt stem from the internal conflict of having a crush while still with your partner. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t cross any boundaries of betrayal. Emotional distance from your boyfriend due to differing needs is something that naturally can cause feelings to shift. Your realization that the relationship wasn’t aligned with your values speaks more to your integrity and self-awareness than to any notion of cheating.

The fact that you're struggling with these feelings shows how much you value honesty and loyalty. Sometimes, our minds create unnecessary guilt because we hold ourselves to very high standards. What you’re going through emotionally is tough, but it's important to differentiate between unintentional thoughts and intentional actions. You haven't betrayed anyone, and I hope this understanding helps you find some peace as you continue working on healing and your well-being.

It's clear you care deeply about not wanting to hurt others, but you also deserve self-compassion

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025
Relationship
Hyy am 19 so i have been dating this guy from 9 months but ik him since 3 years we liked each other since a very long time but never tht confident to confess So after 9 months we got physical and i have no regret that he is my first time but i think maybe i cheated on my parents and took advantage in a wrong way the freedom they gave me. I think i have done a Sin . I love tht guy but i hate tht i can't tell my parents about it . They think of me as a innocent child of them but i just ruined their exceptstions. Please help have i done something wrong and if yes how can i ask for forgiveness
Ans: First, it’s important to understand that you haven’t done anything wrong. Having a physical relationship with someone you love and trust isn’t a sin—it’s a personal choice. The guilt you’re feeling comes from the idea that you’ve somehow broken the image your parents have of you. But that image isn’t your whole identity—you are growing into your own person, and that includes making choices about love and intimacy.

Loving someone and expressing that love physically isn’t about betraying your parents; it’s about discovering yourself. Your parents see you as their child, and it’s hard to feel like you’ve let them down—but that doesn’t mean you’ve actually done anything wrong. You’re not defined by their expectations; you’re growing, learning, and navigating emotions that are completely normal at your age.

You don’t need to ask for forgiveness for exploring a meaningful relationship with someone you care about. What you might need to work on is forgiving yourself for feeling like you’ve disappointed your parents. You’re not perfect, and you don’t have to be. It’s okay to have parts of your life that your parents don’t fully know or understand—that’s part of becoming independent. The most important thing is that you feel respected and valued in this relationship, and that you’re making choices based on love and trust, not guilt or fear.

It’s not about hiding things from your parents—it’s about recognizing that some parts of your emotional and romantic life are your own to experience and understand. You haven’t ruined anything. You’ve just taken a step toward understanding yourself better.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11371 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 09, 2026

Money
Sir I have nearly 35 MF scheme. I have 4 Manu facturing fund. Axis mau facturing fund.. Canara Robecco Manu. fund G(SIP2000) Invesco Manufacturing fund G(SIP 2000 PM ). ICICI Manufacturing fund G Advise how to cut down or exit and invest in other fund continuing only one preferably ICICI. Then I have following non performing Funds Axis consumption fund G regular Hdfc Multcap Fund G regular Hdfc Multcap 50/25/25Index fund Direct Hdfc Tech. Fund D Growth Hsbc India Export Indis export Opp. D Growth ICICI opp. Fund D Growth SUNDARAM mutiasst allocation fund R . G SIP TATA NIFTY AUTO INDEX FUNDNIFTY G DIR. TATA NIFTY IND. TOURISM INDEX FUND G DIR. Above mentioned funds not performing. Your advise whether to and reinvest in an alternative fund. Overlaping funds ICICI prudential energy opportunities fund D SIP GROWTH SBI ENERGY OPP. FUND D. GROWTH 2) FRANKLIN IND. FLEXI CAP FUND R G. 20 UNIT HDFC FLEXICAP FUND R. G. 25 UNIT ICICI PRUDENTIAL FLEXI CAP R. G 3000 Unit TATA mid cap fund R. G. 175 unit UTI MID CAP FUND R. G. 200 Unit HDFC MID CAP FUND R G 250 UNIT Request detailed scrutiny and how to minimise. Besides l have following funds performing well Aditya Birla Sun Life focused fund HDFC Defence fund HDFC PHARMA FUND HDFC TRANSPORTATION FUND HSBC VALUE FUND HSBC ELSS FUND ICICI PRU.PHRMA & HEALTHCARE FUND UTI NIFTY 500 VALUE INDEX FUND I am 82 years old. No liability . Other investments like PPF BANK FD GOLD ANCESTRAL LAND PM ANNUITY PLAN RENT 15 LAKH health insurance. Equities of 5 lakhs Expenses very basic. Would like to re invest. for better returns. Waiting for your early reply. Your 's sincerely ..... ... V. G. Nadig
Ans: You have built substantial financial assets and, importantly, you have no liabilities. At age 82, the priority should now be simplicity, safety, liquidity and reasonable growth. Having nearly 35 mutual fund schemes is unnecessarily high.

» First Priority

– Reduce the MF portfolio substantially.
– Avoid managing many sector and thematic funds.
– Avoid keeping funds only because they performed well recently.
– Keep a smaller number of diversified funds.
– Keep sufficient money in safer assets for your regular needs.

At your age, chasing maximum returns is not necessary.

» Manufacturing Funds

You currently have four manufacturing funds:

– Axis Manufacturing
– Canara Robeco Manufacturing
– Invesco Manufacturing
– ICICI Prudential Manufacturing

There is considerable overlap in this allocation.

I would not keep four manufacturing funds.

If you have a strong preference for the ICICI Prudential Manufacturing Fund, keeping one manufacturing fund can be considered.

The other three can be reviewed for exit and consolidation.

However, do not switch all four on one day blindly. Check capital gains and exit loads first.

» Funds You Mentioned As Non-Performing

You mentioned:

– Axis Consumption
– HDFC Multicap
– HDFC Multicap 50/25/25 Index
– HDFC Technology
– HSBC India Export Opportunities
– ICICI Prudential Opportunities
– Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation
– Tata Nifty Auto Index
– Tata Nifty India Tourism Index

I would not judge these funds only by recent returns.

Some are sector, thematic or index-oriented funds.

They can have long periods of underperformance.

For an 82-year-old investor, I would reduce such complexity.

The index-oriented funds especially do not need to be retained simply for diversification.

» Energy Fund Overlap

You have exposure to:

– ICICI Prudential Energy Opportunities
– SBI Energy Opportunities

There is no strong need to hold two funds in the same sector.

Keep only one if you want sector exposure.

But given your age, even this allocation should remain limited.

» Flexi Cap Overlap

You currently have:

– Franklin India Flexi Cap
– HDFC Flexi Cap
– ICICI Prudential Flexi Cap

This is another clear area for consolidation.

Three flexi-cap funds are unnecessary.

You can retain one suitable flexi-cap fund.

The remaining two can gradually be consolidated after checking taxation and exit loads.

» Mid Cap Overlap

You have:

– Tata Mid Cap
– UTI Mid Cap
– HDFC Mid Cap

Again, three funds are not required.

Keep one suitable mid-cap fund if your overall portfolio needs this exposure.

However, at age 82, I would not maintain a large mid-cap allocation.

This money can be more useful in diversified and relatively stable investments.

» Funds Performing Well

You mentioned:

– Aditya Birla Sun Life Focused
– HDFC Defence
– HDFC Pharma
– HDFC Transportation
– HSBC Value
– HSBC ELSS
– ICICI Prudential Pharma & Healthcare
– UTI Nifty 500 Value Index

Good past performance alone should not decide whether you retain them.

You have multiple sector and thematic exposures here too.

For example, you already have two healthcare-oriented funds.

Defence and transportation are also thematic exposures.

I would reduce the number of such specialised funds.

» A Better Portfolio Structure

Your portfolio can be simplified into a few clear roles:

– Core diversified equity allocation
– Limited mid-cap allocation
– Limited thematic allocation, if required
– Suitable conservative allocation
– Adequate cash and fixed-income allocation

You do not need 35 schemes to achieve diversification.

Around 5 to 7 carefully selected funds can be more than sufficient.

» Very Important At Age 82

Your investment objective should now be different from that of a 40-year-old investor.

Capital preservation is important.

Liquidity is also very important.

You should have enough safe money for several years of expenses.

Equity should mainly serve the purpose of long-term inflation protection.

Do not put money required for near-term expenses into equity.

» About Reinvesting After Exit

I would not immediately reinvest every redemption into another equity fund.

First identify how much money you need for:

– Regular expenses
– Medical requirements
– Family support
– Emergency needs
– Future personal requirements

The remaining long-term surplus can then be invested.

This approach will make your portfolio much safer and easier to manage.

» Your Other Assets

Your FD, PPF, gold, ancestral land, annuity income and rental income provide additional diversification.

Your basic expenses are also low.

This is a positive position.

Therefore, there is no need to take excessive equity risk for higher returns.

» How I Would Approach The 35 Funds

Do it in three stages.

First, identify sector and thematic duplication.

Second, identify overlapping diversified categories.

Third, consolidate the portfolio gradually.

Do not sell everything together.

Review taxation and exit loads before each redemption.

The money released should then be allocated according to your income and liquidity requirements.

» Final Insights

You have done well in building a large and diversified investment base.

The main issue now is not lack of diversification.

It is excessive diversification.

35 schemes can make monitoring difficult and may create hidden overlap.

I would aim for a much simpler portfolio.

Your manufacturing, energy, flexi-cap and mid-cap holdings are the first areas I would consolidate.

I would also reduce excessive thematic exposure.

At 82, stability and peace of mind should come before chasing the highest possible return.

A detailed scheme-wise review would be useful before redeeming anything. It should consider current value, purchase value, gains, taxation, SIP status and exit load for every scheme.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11371 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2026

Money
Dear Sir, I am 52 retired and worked in gulf for 20 years . Current financial status is as follows 1. FD in bank 1 Cr. 2. I own 2 flats . One I use for self and other one want to sell approx value 55 lakhs 3. Own a plot approx 75 lakhs 4. I have ULIP policy of 75 lakhs( 15 lakhs per year premium , 3 years paid, 30 lakhs to be paid, maturing in 2033) 5.10 lakh ULIP policy maturing in 2031 6. LIC policy 6 lakhs maturing in 2029 7. Term policy 1.5 cr ( premium all paid) 8. Heakth policy 60 lakhs for family 9. My child in 12th grade 10. No emi no loan 11 Emergency fund around 15 lakhs in bank My current monthly expense 50 to 60k per month. Could you please analyse my financial status and advice Regards,
Ans: You have built a strong financial base, especially with no loans and good liquidity. At age 52, the main focus should now be capital protection, regular income and your childs education.

» Overall Financial Position

– Your Rs.1 crore FD provides a strong safety base.
– You have around Rs.15 lakh separately for emergencies.
– Your second flat can provide additional capital if sold.
– The plot is another existing asset, but need not be increased.
– Your term insurance is already fully paid.
– Family health insurance provides important protection.
– Most importantly, you have no EMI or outstanding loan.

Overall, your financial position looks comfortable.

» Your Retirement Requirement

Your present expenses are around Rs.50,000 to Rs.60,000 monthly.

Since you are already retired, your investments should now generate stable income.

I would not put the entire Rs.1 crore FD into equity.

Instead, create a proper mix of:

– Safe fixed-income investments for near-term expenses.
– High-quality mutual funds for long-term growth.
– Adequate bank liquidity for emergencies.
– A separate education corpus for your child.

This can give you both stability and growth.

» Childs Education

Your child is already in 12th grade.

Therefore, this is your immediate financial priority.

Do not take high equity risk with money needed soon.

Keep the education requirement separately identified.

If a large amount is required for higher education, plan this before investing for long-term growth.

» ULIP Policies

This is the area I would review carefully.

You have a large ULIP with Rs.15 lakh annual premium. Three years are already paid, with Rs.30 lakh still payable.

You also have another Rs.10 lakh ULIP and an LIC policy.

At your present stage, these policies should not automatically be continued.

Ask for the following details for each policy:

– Current surrender value
– Maturity value
– Remaining premium
– Guaranteed benefits
– Fund value
– Applicable surrender charges
– Tax implications
– Actual expected return

The large ULIP needs particular attention because substantial premiums are still pending.

After comparing the benefits and surrender value, exiting unsuitable policies and redirecting money towards suitable mutual funds may be better.

Do this only after reviewing the exact policy terms.

» FD Management

Rs.1 crore in FD is a strong safety cushion.

But keeping the entire retirement corpus in FDs may reduce long-term growth.

Interest income is also taxable as per applicable rules.

Therefore, gradually creating a diversified portfolio can be considered.

Do not move the entire FD amount into equity at one time.

A phased approach is more suitable for a retired investor.

» Second Flat

You are considering selling the second flat for around Rs.55 lakh.

If there is no personal use for it, selling it can simplify your finances.

The proceeds can be allocated towards:

– Child education
– Retirement income
– Emergency reserves
– Long-term growth investments

I would not recommend buying another property with the sale proceeds.

» Plot

The plot can remain as an existing asset.

But I would not depend on its future appreciation for retirement planning.

If it is eventually sold, the proceeds can strengthen your financial portfolio.

» Mutual Fund Strategy

You have not mentioned any existing mutual fund corpus.

This is one area where you can gradually add a growth component.

At age 52, some equity exposure is still useful.

It can help your portfolio beat inflation over the long term.

But equity allocation should match your retirement income needs.

Avoid taking aggressive risks simply to generate higher returns.

» Monthly Income Planning

Your present spending is manageable compared with your financial assets.

Still, inflation will increase your monthly requirement over time.

So your portfolio should have two parts:

– A stable income bucket for regular expenses.
– A growth bucket for expenses many years later.

This structure can reduce the need to sell equity during market corrections.

» Insurance Review

Your health insurance is a good protection layer.

Continue reviewing the cover as medical costs increase.

Your fully paid term insurance is also useful for family protection.

Since you are retired, review whether the insurance still serves a specific family need.

Do not buy additional investment-linked insurance without a clear need.

» Emergency Fund

Your Rs.15 lakh emergency fund is quite healthy.

Keep this amount easily accessible.

Do not invest emergency money aggressively.

This provides peace of mind during unexpected situations.

» Important Tax Point

Before selling the flat, plot or ULIP, check the applicable tax impact.

Property transactions can create capital gains.

ULIP surrender or withdrawal can also have tax implications depending on policy conditions.

So calculate the post-tax amount before taking decisions.

» 360-Degree Action Plan

– First secure your childs immediate education requirement.
– Review all three insurance-linked investment policies.
– Decide whether the large ULIP should continue.
– Maintain adequate FD and emergency liquidity.
– Consider selling the unused flat if financially suitable.
– Do not add more property investments.
– Gradually build a diversified mutual fund portfolio.
– Keep retirement income and long-term growth separately.
– Review the entire portfolio at least once every year.

» Final Insights

Your financial position is stronger than it may initially appear.

You have substantial assets, no debt and manageable monthly expenses.

The main issue is not creating wealth aggressively now.

The bigger objective is managing your existing wealth efficiently.

Your ULIP portfolio deserves the most detailed review.

With proper restructuring, you can aim for stable retirement income while still allowing part of your money to grow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |8596 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2026

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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