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Single Mom Dilemma: To Remarry or Not?

Dr Upneet Kaur |49 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi

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I am a single mother of 5 year old. Now my family wants me to remarry as they are concerned i am alone. I am not sure if it is a right decision. Will it effect my child? What are the chances of finding right partner and how to make sure it will be a good decision for my kid too.

Ans: Hello mam
I must say that you are very brave that you are raising your kid single handedly. At this time you must be young and may be you don't feel the need of partner. But ultimately you have to understand that your kid needs a father's love also. And in the long run you will also miss a partner from whom you expect emotional support and companionship. So I think its not bad to think about re marriage. You can take some time to understand that person and can explain him about your situation. I understand you may have gone through some traumatic experience from previous marriage but for the secure future of you and your kid, you have to move on and lead a good and happy life.
Take care and do message me about your future plans.
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu Krishna |1623 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi

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I am 43 years old . My wife passed away 3 years ago. I have a 13 years old child.My relatives are asking me to get re-married. I am in confused state. Should I remarry or not?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry for your loss; the passing on of a spouse almost feels like you live that grief everyday.
Your relatives are simply reacting to what they see as loneliness that you are living and that you can bring a Mother for a child.
Now, the choice of remarrying is a decision that solely must be made by you and your daughter. Relatives think for you but they do not know the consequences of such an important step.
Who is this person that you will be marrying?
Are you okay to take on another lady as your wife?
Will she be fine raising your daughter as her own?
What happens when the two of you decide to have a child of your own?
Is your daughter willing to see another person as a 'mother' figure?

If you choose not to remarry?
Being a girl, will you commit to caring for your daughter in more ways than a father?
How will you associate with her emotions as she goes through puberty and needs you to step in to do what her mother would have done for her at this time?
Do you see yourself going through life by yourself once your daughter leaves home to live her life?

These are just a few questions for you to get you started. You can add many more to both scenarios and play them out in your mind. The answer will emerge from within you.
But let me warn you, never ever remarry to temporarily erase your emptiness OR simply to yield to the demands of relatives to bring a new Mother for your daughter. This is a Disaster Zone and everyone will turn out unhappy.
Second shot at living or creating a life must be taken once you are aware that it will never be compared to your earlier life and that both the women are unique and will be respected by you and all as someone who brings forth new energy and wisdom.

Hope this helps. All the best to you!

Ravi Mittal |605 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi

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Sir my age is 47 years I have one son aged 17 years studying in 10+2 class. Recently i lost my wife few months back and at present my parents are living with me to take care of me and my son. I am single son of my parents with two sisters both married. i loved my wife very much Now my parents , relatives, sisters are pressing hard me to remarry , please guide what should i do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am really sorry for your loss. I understand that pressure from family and peers can be stressful, but it's important not to rush into a new relationship simply because others want you to. While their opinions likely stem from concern for you, it's crucial to allow yourself the time and space to grieve your wife's passing.

If your family doesn't understand your decision, it's okay to stand firm. You're an adult capable of discerning what's best for yourself. Stick to your current path and honor your grieving process. Once you believe you have felt all the emotions, processed your loss, and begun to move forward should you consider the possibility of remarrying, but that too, only if you feel like it and are ready for it. Marrying to fill the void, or to take of your kid is never a good idea. I am sure you are doing a great job as a single dad. Trust yourself to make the right decision when the moment is appropriate.

Best Wishes!

Anu Krishna |1623 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi

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Hi Anu, I got divorced 6 years back. I have a son who stays with his mom though I meet him frequently and looking after his educational expenses. I am doing very well in my career, I started my own company a couple of years back and its doing great. Everyone around me tells me to remarry but I just dont want to go through the pain again. I am happy single and would want to stay single. I do not want a companion who would be a parasite like my ex wife, but I am apprehensive about getting old alone. What do I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Once bitten, twice shy!
It happens and someday hopefully you move out of this 'hurt' phase into a 'trust' phase and when you cover that journey (it takes time and a lot of resolve to be able to want to trust again), you will be ready to get into another relationship.
So, decide for yourself when you want to make that journey and as you start, you will encounter insecurities and doubts...stick with it and it will all pass helping you reach a place of calm peace which will enable you to invite another person into your life.

All the best!

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

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I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Question by Niveditha - Jun 07, 2025Hindi

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Hi ma'am I'm 25 years old and my relationship with my parents is getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I ever think about my happiness or do anything that makes me happy then they fight with me and portray me as a bad daughter and my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness or do anything that makes her happy then I'm gonna leave everything and go so does my mom she also threatened to cut ties with me if I ever do anything that makes me happy my parents never supported me for anything they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what profession i wanna take nothing but it's always about them in my family there are 16 members who have had love marriage and inter religion marriages my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids 2 of her daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim one to a hindu her one daughter ran and got married to a hindu guy at that time my mom dad and her mom didn't even say a word but accepted him with open arms and my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married to her boyfriend who is a muslim during Covid 2020 without informing any of our relatives when my parents got to know about her daughters marriage they invited her for lunch at my place they didn't even say a word or opposed that marriage but accepted him with open arms and showered them with love When I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom started to seperate me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person person I love and find a suitable Christian guy for me when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always brings up my boyfriend's topic and start fighting with me infront of them we went there 3 times and all the 3 times she fighted with me and told everyone to brainwash me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 times and ask how they are and when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even take a stand for me or raised her voice for me but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work and get her married my mom will listen to her and her daughters and my grandmother also started forcing me that I should also listen to her and get married to a guy who they choose and i should not at all think about my happiness and what makes me happy in my life and i should think about her and my parents happiness and my uncle who lives in Hyderabad he also started to get interfere in my personal life since the time he got to know I fell in love with a hindu guy he also started to seperate me from him and forcefully get me marriage to a guy of his choice my uncle's wife has been expired 15 years back and this age he has a girlfriend who lives in banglore she is a divorcee and her daughter is also a divorcee who he met in Facebook i didn't interfere in anyone's personal life or seperated them from their boyfriend or girlfriend and everyone who have had love marriages in my family and everyone are happy with their partners when it comes to me my parents uncle my grandmother and her daughters who have had love marriage always try to seperate me from my boyfriend and forcefully get me married to a Christian guy if anyone in my family will fall in love with a inter religion person then he/she is a good guy/girl according to them if I fall in love they seperate me from him and forcefully get me Married to a Christian guy i told my parents many times to talk to him and know him but they are like no we don't like him and they always say he is not a good person and always judge my boyfriend even without talking or knowing him once but for others even without talking to their partners they say he is a good person and they will accept him with open arms and also invite them for lunch and everything and will always stay at their place during trips but if I do they will mentally harass me to leave the person I love and get married to a guy of their choice recently we went to Bangalore for my sister's marriage who also had a love marriage at that time my uncle had come to the wedding and he was asking my mom did u brainwash her to leave him and get her married to someone else and my mom was saying yes I did with my aunt's daughter who also had love marriage I don't understand why they always try to seperate me from the person I love and forcefully get me married to someone else who I'm not at all interested in when I'm telling them about him they are not ready to listen to me at all plus they are mentally harassing me to leave him if I take help of any of my relatives who had love marriages in this matter they will not listen to me but force me to listen to my parents and do as they say what should I do ma'am 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Ans: Dear Niveditha,
I gather that many members of your family are against your relationship and interfering in a way that will keep you away from him. My question to you is: Are you financially independent? If Yes, it helps you stand up for yourself. But is NO, then this will make you vulnerable to their decisions...
Now another question: why are they so against this boy? Is he younger to you or not working and financially sound? I mean, what is the reason according to you that they have chosen to be against this when they are okay with others in the family doing the same?
There is surely something that they are not comfortable when it comes to the boy that you are in love with. Find out what that is; it's the question of you life, so don't be so floored by love that you miss out on a red flag. Also, it will help if you stop comparing your situation to others and indulge in so much self-pity. Focus on what exactly is going on, ask your parents as a mature adult on why they dislike the boy and understand if it's real or not and act accordingly. so much of blame game and self-pity will only take your focus out and you will end up more miserable and not do what's the right thing for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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Sir My Son is having cse Jaypee noida, DSAI in Thapar,CSE Manipal bengluru likely get manipal main in next round, which is abetter choice . please help in selecting one.

Ans: Hello dear.
Preference order: (1) DS AI @ Thapar (2) CSE @ Manipal Bangalore (3) CSE @ Manipal main if offered (4) CSE @ Jaypee. The final choice will be yours.
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Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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Sir.my pcm b 63%.I eligible for JEE Mains.

Ans: Hello dear
Please provide more details and ask the question very clearly without using any abbreviations.

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Ans: Hello Mantri.
You can join a diploma course at any time. There is no age limit. There should be no problem in getting jobs. However, considering your age, it might be better to choose other career options.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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Hello sir, My Nephew got 84.7 percentile in MHCET and in NMIMS phase 2 test got 3747 merit number What are his chances to get good college for ECE or CS branch. He is from other state as well Also how about IT branch compare to CSE if he can go for that. NMIMS councelling is on 26th and MHCET CAP round has not started, shall he wait for MHCET CAP round. Please suggest

Ans: Hello dear.
With the MHT-CET score, his chances of getting CS or ECE are very slim in Govt colleges, but he may get a seat in private colleges located in remote areas. If NMIMS offers you CS/ECE, then go with it.
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Question by It's - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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My son get iit delhi civil kya uska place ment it co. Mai ho jayega

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Civil @ IIT Delhi is an excellent option and has bright chances of placement. Don't worry much more.
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Question by Jaiprakash - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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Sar Meri daughter ko MH CET mein PCB main 67% marks Aaye Hain aur PCM mein 47 percent marks Aaye Hain vah AI engineer ki padhaai karna chahti hai aap kuchh suggest Karen kaun sa college sahi hai Ham Nagpur mein rahte hain

Ans: Hello jaiprakash
Please contact the administrative office of your preferred college in Nagpur and inquire about the availability of the AI branch through the management quota. If available, proceed with the admission. Note: Based on his score in PCM, branches like AI / ML / CSE may pose academic challenges for her.
Best of luck.
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Question by sudhakar - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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My Son got 1141 Rank in SRMJEE and he already have admission offer from KIIT bhubaneswar For CSE. Which option should we go with. Or should we go with EC or CS. Please advise

Ans: Hello Sudhakar, both options are strong, and choosing between SRM and KIIT is difficult. What SRM will offer is still unclear. If SRM offers CSE, then pick either KIIT or SRM, whichever is closer to your hometown,n to reduce expenses.
Best of luck.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Question by Nupur - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

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I scored 68 percentile in jee mains and 74.6% in 12th cbse boards...i am already a dropper..which college can i get which is really good in studies and placement...i want to do only cse or its branches...i am a gen ews category girl student from UP...otherwise i was thinking to take admission in LPU because of its good placement

Ans: Hello Nupur
Getting into CS and computer-related branches seems difficult with the mentioned JEE score. If LPU is offering you CS, then take the admission without any hesitation.
Best of luck.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
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