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Single Mom Dilemma: To Remarry or Not?

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am a single mother of 5 year old. Now my family wants me to remarry as they are concerned i am alone. I am not sure if it is a right decision. Will it effect my child? What are the chances of finding right partner and how to make sure it will be a good decision for my kid too.

Ans: Hello mam
I must say that you are very brave that you are raising your kid single handedly. At this time you must be young and may be you don't feel the need of partner. But ultimately you have to understand that your kid needs a father's love also. And in the long run you will also miss a partner from whom you expect emotional support and companionship. So I think its not bad to think about re marriage. You can take some time to understand that person and can explain him about your situation. I understand you may have gone through some traumatic experience from previous marriage but for the secure future of you and your kid, you have to move on and lead a good and happy life.
Take care and do message me about your future plans.
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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I am 43 years old . My wife passed away 3 years ago. I have a 13 years old child.My relatives are asking me to get re-married. I am in confused state. Should I remarry or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry for your loss; the passing on of a spouse almost feels like you live that grief everyday.
Your relatives are simply reacting to what they see as loneliness that you are living and that you can bring a Mother for a child.
Now, the choice of remarrying is a decision that solely must be made by you and your daughter. Relatives think for you but they do not know the consequences of such an important step.
Who is this person that you will be marrying?
Are you okay to take on another lady as your wife?
Will she be fine raising your daughter as her own?
What happens when the two of you decide to have a child of your own?
Is your daughter willing to see another person as a 'mother' figure?

If you choose not to remarry?
Being a girl, will you commit to caring for your daughter in more ways than a father?
How will you associate with her emotions as she goes through puberty and needs you to step in to do what her mother would have done for her at this time?
Do you see yourself going through life by yourself once your daughter leaves home to live her life?

These are just a few questions for you to get you started. You can add many more to both scenarios and play them out in your mind. The answer will emerge from within you.
But let me warn you, never ever remarry to temporarily erase your emptiness OR simply to yield to the demands of relatives to bring a new Mother for your daughter. This is a Disaster Zone and everyone will turn out unhappy.
Second shot at living or creating a life must be taken once you are aware that it will never be compared to your earlier life and that both the women are unique and will be respected by you and all as someone who brings forth new energy and wisdom.

Hope this helps. All the best to you!

..Read more

Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Iiit sricity cse or iiit nagpur cse which is best sir
Ans: Based on the following insights/information, please choose the more suitable option: IIIT Sri City and IIIT Nagpur are both centrally funded institutes offering B.Tech Computer Science & Engineering (CSE) programs, but they differ in academic maturity, placement outcomes, infrastructure, and industry integration. IIIT Sri City, located in Andhra Pradesh, boasts an impressive 93.6% placement rate for the 2025 batch, with an average CSE package of ?19.24LPA and top recruiters like Amazon, Google, Deloitte, TCS, and Infosys. Its curriculum, mentored by IIIT Hyderabad and IIT Hyderabad, emphasizes both foundational computing and research with active faculty engagement and industry interfacing. The 81-acre campus offers state-of-the-art labs, modern classrooms, sports complexes, and research centers, located within an integrated industrial city hosting over 180 multinational companies, which enhances exposure and internship opportunities. Faculty are PhD-qualified and the institute encourages undergraduate research and entrepreneurship, supported by ongoing national research projects and industry collaborations. IIIT Nagpur, in Maharashtra, is newer and recorded an 80.37% placement rate for the 2025 CSE batch, with an average package of ?14.2LPA and major recruiters such as Adobe, TCS, Google, EY, Cisco, and Accenture. The campus provides ample residential and academic facilities, including modern labs, well-equipped hostels, and sports amenities. Institute-industry collaborations, such as with Haldiram Foods International, aid in practical exposure, though the placement rate and recruiter diversity trail behind Sri City. Faculty credentials and research involvement are strong, but the campus is still growing in size and alumni network.

RECOMMENDATION: Between IIIT Sri City CSE and IIIT Nagpur CSE, IIIT Sri City is the superior choice for its stronger placement metrics, higher average packages, advanced research centers, and greater industry integration through its unique location in a major industrial hub. Choose IIIT Sri City for a more mature academic environment, robust infrastructure, and wider professional opportunities; IIIT Nagpur remains a good alternative for those seeking a stable, supportive environment in central India. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10017 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir, I'm 51 years old. I'm currently working in private organisation with 30 LPA. I don't have children. My current financial position is as follows. PF - 65 lakhs A own house - loan cleared. I don't have any loans or commitments. A open plot worth 40 lakhs. 15 lakh bank balance. SIP - 5 lakhs Rental income of 30000 per month. Farm land 5 acres worth 6 crores. Please advice as I was planning to retire at the age of 60. My self and my wife are fully fit and have no health problems as of now.
Ans: You have built a solid base. Your discipline and clarity deserve sincere appreciation.

At 51, with no financial dependents and no liabilities, your position is strong. Your current income, assets, and investments indicate a clear path to retire comfortably at 60. Let’s evaluate and guide you from all possible angles.

? Income and Employment Overview

– You are earning Rs. 30 lakh per annum from your job.
– Rental income adds Rs. 30,000 per month.
– No loans or EMI burden is a big plus.
– You have 9 more working years before retirement.
– Health is stable for you and your wife. This is important.

Your focus should now shift towards capital protection, inflation-proof retirement income, and creating flexibility in future choices.

? Provident Fund Assessment

– Rs. 65 lakh PF corpus is already a great achievement.
– Continue monthly PF contributions until retirement.
– This corpus can grow significantly in 9 years.
– It will form the backbone of your retirement income.
– After retirement, you may use part of PF for SWP or annuity-type withdrawals, but not annuity products.

? Bank Balance Review

– You hold Rs. 15 lakh in bank balance.
– Maintain Rs. 5 to 7 lakh as emergency fund.
– Remaining balance should be parked in liquid or arbitrage funds.
– This helps earn better returns than regular savings.

Idle cash leads to value erosion due to inflation. Keep it optimised.

? SIP and Mutual Fund Investment Analysis

– Rs. 5 lakh corpus in mutual fund SIPs is modest.
– Continue investing every month in diversified equity funds.
– Target Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 70,000 per month SIP till retirement.
– Step up your SIP by 10% annually.
– Your MF portfolio should be mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap.
– Add conservative hybrid or dynamic funds after age 55.
– This builds stability and lowers volatility.

Stay invested via regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and not direct plans.

Direct plans miss out on expert advice and portfolio review support.
Regular plans via CFP ensure handholding, rebalancing, and strategy alignment.

Also, avoid index funds.

Index funds mirror the market. They don’t beat it.
No flexibility in changing allocations based on market cycles.
Actively managed funds offer fund manager expertise and better risk control.

? Rental Income Role in Retirement

– Rs. 30,000/month rental is a good supplementary income.
– It adds Rs. 3.6 lakh yearly without risk.
– Even if post-retirement you stop working, this income continues.
– Use it as a buffer for medical expenses or lifestyle needs.

Ensure the property is well-maintained. Consider succession planning early.

? Real Estate Asset Review

– You own a residential house (loan-free).
– You own a plot worth Rs. 40 lakh.
– You also own 5 acres of farm land valued at Rs. 6 crore.

Though these are valuable, do not rely on real estate for income generation or liquidity.
As a policy, real estate is not a recommended investment instrument.

Real estate has illiquidity, high maintenance, and poor transparency.
Retirement income needs steady and easy-to-access cash flows.

You may consider partial monetisation of either plot or farmland after age 58, only if needed.

Until then, let these remain wealth reservoirs, not income engines.

? Health Insurance Coverage

– You and your wife are currently healthy.
– But medical inflation is high.

You must have the following in place:

– One family floater health insurance policy of minimum Rs. 15–20 lakh.
– Top-up policy of Rs. 25 lakh if base policy is low.
– Critical illness cover for both spouses.
– Rs. 5–7 lakh health emergency fund.

Check existing cover from employer. Buy a standalone policy now.
After retirement, premiums shoot up. It’s harder to get approval too.

? Retirement Planning Strategy

Your target retirement age is 60. That gives 9 more years.

Key goals during this phase:

– Grow corpus steadily and safely.
– Build equity-debt balanced portfolio.
– Keep risk moderate.
– Ensure liquidity at all times.
– Avoid locking funds in long-term products.
– Never chase high returns with risky products.

Post retirement, build your income stream using:

– SWP from mutual funds.
– Partial withdrawals from EPF and PPF.
– Rental income.
– Farm income if managed well.
– Use debt mutual funds for parking money safely.

Make sure to avoid:

– Annuities
– ULIPs
– Endowment policies
– Real estate investments
– Index or direct plans

If you hold any LIC, ULIP or combo investment-insurance policies, you should surrender them and shift to mutual funds via a CFP.
They give poor returns, low transparency, and poor liquidity.

? Tax Planning and Capital Gains Strategy

– Post 2025, MF taxation has changed.
– Equity MF:

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG taxed at 20%.
– Debt MF:

LTCG and STCG both taxed as per your slab.

Plan redemptions accordingly after retirement.
Stagger withdrawals using SWP route to lower tax impact.

Continue tax-saving till retirement using:

– EPF, PPF, SIP in ELSS if needed.
– NPS if you want additional tax shield.
– Health insurance premium and standard deductions.

Avoid aggressive tax-saving schemes. Simplicity matters more now.

? Lifestyle Planning and Retirement Readiness

– Decide your expected lifestyle post-retirement.
– Estimate monthly expense today and inflate it by 6–7% yearly.
– Include travel, wellness, gifts, maintenance, contingencies.
– Don’t plan a frugal lifestyle. Keep some leisure fund.
– Try living on your estimated post-retirement income for 3–6 months.

This will help you validate your corpus needs and comfort zone.

? Estate Planning and Succession Clarity

– Since you have no children, plan succession early.
– Draft a registered Will for all properties and investments.
– Assign trusted nominee for all accounts and policies.
– Use joint ownerships to avoid legal issues.
– Keep your spouse aware of all investments, passwords, and financial contacts.

Nomination is not ownership. Will supersedes all. So don’t delay.

? Risk Management and Portfolio Review

– Avoid high-risk investments now.
– Don’t experiment with PMS, unregulated products, or fancy tax schemes.
– Stick to a well-diversified mutual fund portfolio.
– Maintain 60:40 ratio of equity and debt from age 55.
– Monitor the portfolio at least twice a year.

Involve a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for regular reviews.
This ensures asset allocation is aligned with age and goals.
They also help you rebalance and switch tactically.

? Final Insights

– Your foundation is strong and well-prepared.
– You have no debt and ample assets.
– Just focus on disciplined investing and avoiding risky decisions.
– Allocate savings wisely across mutual funds and fixed instruments.
– Protect health and legacy with insurance and a Will.
– Your goal to retire at 60 is 100% achievable with the current plan.

A few tweaks and regular reviews will secure your financial freedom.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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