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Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 43 years old . My wife passed away 3 years ago. I have a 13 years old child.My relatives are asking me to get re-married. I am in confused state. Should I remarry or not?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry for your loss; the passing on of a spouse almost feels like you live that grief everyday.
Your relatives are simply reacting to what they see as loneliness that you are living and that you can bring a Mother for a child.
Now, the choice of remarrying is a decision that solely must be made by you and your daughter. Relatives think for you but they do not know the consequences of such an important step.
Who is this person that you will be marrying?
Are you okay to take on another lady as your wife?
Will she be fine raising your daughter as her own?
What happens when the two of you decide to have a child of your own?
Is your daughter willing to see another person as a 'mother' figure?

If you choose not to remarry?
Being a girl, will you commit to caring for your daughter in more ways than a father?
How will you associate with her emotions as she goes through puberty and needs you to step in to do what her mother would have done for her at this time?
Do you see yourself going through life by yourself once your daughter leaves home to live her life?

These are just a few questions for you to get you started. You can add many more to both scenarios and play them out in your mind. The answer will emerge from within you.
But let me warn you, never ever remarry to temporarily erase your emptiness OR simply to yield to the demands of relatives to bring a new Mother for your daughter. This is a Disaster Zone and everyone will turn out unhappy.
Second shot at living or creating a life must be taken once you are aware that it will never be compared to your earlier life and that both the women are unique and will be respected by you and all as someone who brings forth new energy and wisdom.

Hope this helps. All the best to you!

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I am engineer with 16 years of IT experience and now a break of 11 yrs. But in 11 yrs I had been taking Quantitative aptitude lectures as a visiting faculty in various engineering and MBA colleges and also done Mutual fund certification. I haven't been siting but doing many things professionally in last 11 yrs(In my subject of interest as Maths, Teaching, Finance, Accounting, Wealth Management). I was thinking of doing ESG certification. What kind of role I would get if i am CFA ESG certified.I am looking for Professionally and intellectually engaging role where I can contribute to Society. Not a very NGO type( I have tried working with few NGO's)
Ans: I won't recommend you to go for ESG certification unless you are having a background of Env. Engg and Environmental Impact Assessment. The certificate course of ESG is costly also. I would request you to open your own academy ( if off line not possible then online) and go for only one subject. Let me know your age.Focus only on one subject. You have explored many areas and now you are perplexed. Here the questions are assigned to me through rediffmail. So second time whether your question will come to me or not is not known to anyone of us. Due to the policy I can’t share my email ID and Phone Number. But I would request you to follow me in LINKEDIN and send request so that I can accept you, then through LINKEDIN I can counsel you in the future multiple times. Through LINKEDIN I will be readily and easily accessible. I have counselled and changed thousands of lives. As long as I am there I won’t allow you to be defeated. Mind that always I am there with you like an invisible shadow to show you the right career path.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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