Hi Anu, I got divorced 6 years back. I have a son who stays with his mom though I meet him frequently and looking after his educational expenses. I am doing very well in my career, I started my own company a couple of years back and its doing great. Everyone around me tells me to remarry but I just dont want to go through the pain again. I am happy single and would want to stay single. I do not want a companion who would be a parasite like my ex wife, but I am apprehensive about getting old alone. What do I do?

Ans:

I have a friend who's sailing in the same boat as you.

She's a newly single mom and was very worried during her divorce that she would never find love again. Her husband had already taken up with another woman before their paperwork was finalised.

So I'm going to give you the same advice I gave her -- stop looking.

She did and, a year later, she's in a new but happy relationship.

The guy she's with is someone she always knew as an acquaintance. Post her divorce, they became close and he is fond of the child as well.

There may be challenges ahead but the point is, as soon as she let life take over instead of this obsession to find someone else, a relationship came up unexpectedly and out of nowhere.

So breathe, recover from old wounds and let things happen as they must. Stop planning a second marriage right away. 

 

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is unfortunate that you had to go through what you have.
It is also understandable why you would feel unsteady and unwilling to trust the process again...
But, let it not rob you of opportunities of exploring a new connection and this will be possible only if you allow yourself to trust...
Because if you don't, you will end up sinking into work to distract yourself. This is unhealthy as it will lead to loneliness and despair. You surely wouldn't want that, would you?
Allow yourself to Let Go...It takes a lot to do that but once you do, it will open your eyes to numerous possibilities. Having said that, do this when you ready...it maybe now, next year or whenever BUT tell yourself that someday you are willing to open your heart to a possibility of a connection. This thought will keep you feeling safe and happier. This will also help you face your job pressures better as all areas of our lives are all linked to one another.

All the best!

Ans: Dear S,
The time that you could have expanded your social circle, you devoted it entirely to your studies/work...
But all is not lost...the world is connected in unbelievable ways.
Join a gym, a community for charity work, groups that devote themselves to social causes, pursue hobbies that engage in a group.
This will ensure that you will have a chance to interact with others irrespective of gender.
Who knows, you might find someone with similar interests!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/