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Kanchan Rai |587 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2024Hindi

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See our marriage was fixed by our parents, when we first met we really like each othe.. Then 2 months gone without talking as he was not found in any social media, so i couldn't connect him neither he approached.. Then our engagement got fixed we started talking.. He got suspicious when i told him that i am connected to my ex like friends.. He then go on and searched privately my past history locations and he got to know that i dated some people and had sex with some of them.. He got furious and broke our marriage then we continue talking and enjoyed each other company.. He gave me gifts like jewellery, chocolates and so on.. And he was jealous if i talk to someone of my past life.. I stopped talking to anyone else accept him.. Still he denied marrying me when i asked.. Then our families serched for other marriage prospects.. We got jealous and fought.. Still his marriage is fixed with someone who is not interested in him and he inclined towards me more romantically still.. And got jealous when i met with my marriage prospects though my marriage is not fixed. Now we are still talking and he is not leaving me. He supports me really well, and i also love him. What should i do?

Ans: It sounds like you're in a complicated situation, and there are a few important things to consider here.

Firstly, communication is key in any relationship. It's important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your feelings, concerns, and boundaries. Discuss how his jealousy and possessiveness make you feel and try to understand his perspective as well.

Secondly, trust is fundamental in a healthy relationship. If your partner is resorting to secretive methods to gather information about your past, it may indicate a lack of trust. Trust is something that needs to be built and maintained over time through consistent communication, honesty, and mutual respect.

Thirdly, it's crucial to assess whether this relationship is truly fulfilling and healthy for both of you. Are you both able to support each other emotionally without feeling controlled or restricted? Are you able to be yourselves and pursue your own interests and friendships?

Lastly, consider seeking guidance from a professional counselor or therapist who can provide unbiased support and help navigate the complexities of your relationship. They can offer valuable insights and strategies for improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a stronger foundation for your relationship.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do next is yours to make based on what feels right for you and what is best for your well-being. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own happiness and emotional health.