Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Can I Legally Protect My Daughter From Abuse During Divorce?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
Listen

I’m going through a divorce, while my wife still stays in the same house. She has been verbally & physically abusive with me, my parents and my 4 yr old daughter. At the same time she has refrained my daughter from interacting from any of us. It is so stressfull. My daughter & I used to have fun until a few months back playing endlessly and now she is not allowed to even look at me. Is there something that can be done on a legal front to handle this ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What sort of arrangement is this? If you anyway were planning to divorce and separate, then what is the meaning of living in the same house/
For the sake of the child, kindly, go by the terms of the divorce and live in different homes and agreeing to certain visitation rights to your child from both of you. Don't mess with the emotional environment of a little girl please.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |606 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi, I have a divorcee daughter aged 45 whose unpleasant and quarrelsome behavior is a constant source of misery and headache for whole of the family. Her marriage could not go beyond 2 months as her in-laws turned out to be greedy, troublesome and also found involved in some fraudulent activities with a few police cases against them -- which forced us to seek divorce. I may add that my daughter ever since she was 13 or 14 yrs became a little self-willed and considered her to be always right in action and thought in front of parents or any one else. This has become very serious now. She is not at all open to any kind of reasoning or discussion. If you always act, think or do as per her wish, it is ok otherwise she will start fighting on any thing or every thing. Her attitude of selfishness and always finding faults with other family members including parents is spoiling the peaceful atmosphere of the house. Expecting any kind of adjustment from her is asking for the moon. Kindly advise.
Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi ma'am, It's been few months since my question. I am now employed as a school teacher. I am living in the accommodation provided by them. My daughter has access to excellent education. After this shift we are just 2 hours away from both my in-laws and husband. But my husband is not making any effort to keep in touch with her. He indicates through various sources that he is missing her. I have never behaved rudely with him after that incident. I just sacrificed my self-respect for my daughter to have good connection with her dad. But he still acts like a victim. In the process of all this, I lost trust in people, I can't be submissive anymore. I feel so happy and free. My dislike for him is increasing everyday. I really feel that i was mentally abused all this time. I am grateful for the physical abuse as I would have continued to borne through all that . I don't want to with him ever again. Though I don't want to marry again, I want to get divorced and break all other associations with him except as a coparent. I am also worried to negotiate custody issues with such an unreliable unpredictable coparent. I have one year time before I become eligible to start the divorce proceedings. Now my daughter knows something is wrong and tries to bring me and my husband together. She is too young to understand the situation but i don't love her enough to tolerate a man like him. Can you give me some feedback?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This question was possibly addressed by you to another Guru and has come to me now. In case, I have delayed in responding, my apologies to you!
All my suggestions and feedback have been given in response to your first question. In your follow-up, you have only shared more information but the issue is the same. So kindly follow the suggestions given and well efforts do lead to some roads and some newer roads as well...for any legal matters, please do contact legal experts who will guide you accordingly.
And again I emphasize this: Use this time away from him to set your career and financial independence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi I am 50 yrs male married for last 20 yrs, facing domestic abuse mentally, physically from my wife, she is extremely aggressive and use foul language in front of our 13 yrs daughter, family members, friends, maid, driver... she is keep blaming me if anything went wrong be it is financial, Social and economical . She always blame my parents with very abusive language.. she always say negative things in front of my family members for all the things which went wrong due to her extraordinary aggressive and abusive behavior, she always make issues out of normal conversation.. she is also working. She doesn't talk and whenever i try to ignore her, she physically abusive and use foul language with me.. i am trying to adjust with her for the sake of my daughter future. She is very negative, if i try to help her, she will start shouting and use abusive language and start physically abusive towards me I don't know how deal with strange behavior... I am confused and worried, but due family, daughter and society i am tolerating her. Pls help and suggest best possible solutions
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Has this started more recently or has it been going on for a while now? This is a good indicator to know if things were most;y like this or if any recent event has triggered this.
If it is a recent thing, I guess you could try and find out what exactly could have caused this. But if it is something that has been happening for a long time, the reasons could be any and many. Since there is also some physical abuse as you mentioned, kindly make an appointment with a professional who will be able to guide your wife through this challenging time. It possibly involves some unresolved things from the past which is making life currently difficult for all of you.
Work as a family unit together for her and not against her. It's going to make matters worse. She may refuse to go to a professional, then the only option left is for you to develop a lot of patience and deal with this adult to adult with her. No fights, quarrels with her but a lot of quiet conversations which she will initially resist but someday she will give in...So if you want the family to get back together in a healthy way, a lot also depends on how you are going to deal with the situation.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8924 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, Please find below my financial details. Kindly advice further for wealth creation. PPF 10 Lacs LIC Jeevan Anand 6 Lacs RD 2000 per month Fixed Deposit 3.75 Lacs SBI- Small Cap 4000 Per month ( for 3 Years) Axis Blue chip 3000 Per month ( For 3 Years) Canara Robeco Blue Chip 3000 Per month ( For 1 Year) Mirae Asset Blue chip 4000 per month for 3 years) Medical Insurance 5 Lacs Term Insurance 50 Lacs Home Loan 28 Lacs( started in april25). Paying 8K per month extra except EMI). Property is rent out. Regards Ankur Gupta
Ans: You have taken some good steps towards financial discipline. Your efforts to diversify across various instruments and maintain insurance coverage are appreciated. I will now evaluate your financial situation under different aspects, and guide you with actionable steps for wealth creation in a simple and clear manner.

Emergency Fund
You haven't mentioned a separate emergency fund.

Emergency fund is essential before investing.

It should be at least 6 months’ monthly expenses.

Include EMIs, insurance, household, and medical costs.

You can use a savings account or liquid fund for this.

Do not use fixed deposits or mutual funds for this.

Keep this fund easily accessible.

Life Insurance and Health Cover
Your term insurance of Rs 50 lakhs is a good start.

But it may be on the lower side.

Cover should be 15–20 times your annual income.

LIC Jeevan Anand is a traditional plan.

These plans give low returns and poor liquidity.

It mixes insurance with investment.

It is better to have pure insurance and invest separately.

You can surrender this LIC plan.

Reinvest proceeds in mutual funds via regular plans through CFP.

You have Rs 5 lakh medical insurance.

This is fine if employer also gives coverage.

If not, increase it to Rs 10–15 lakhs.

Add a top-up health plan for better coverage.

Health costs are rising fast every year.

Loan and Property
Your home loan of Rs 28 lakhs is manageable.

You are paying extra Rs 8000 per month, which is good.

This helps reduce interest and tenure.

Since property is rented out, income supports EMI.

But do not rely on rental for wealth creation.

Real estate gives poor liquidity and high maintenance.

Instead, increase allocation to financial assets.

You can continue prepaying loan if no better options available.

But balance between loan repayment and investment is key.

Fixed Deposit and Recurring Deposit
You have Rs 3.75 lakhs in fixed deposit.

You invest Rs 2000 per month in RD.

These are very low-yield products after tax.

Returns may not beat inflation.

Use these only for short-term goals.

For long term, prefer mutual funds.

Shift RD to a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in equity funds.

Keep FD only as part of emergency fund or short-term goals.

PPF – Public Provident Fund
Your PPF balance of Rs 10 lakhs is very good.

It is safe and tax-free.

It gives fixed returns and supports retirement.

Continue PPF for long term stability.

Avoid using this for mid-term goals.

But don’t depend only on PPF for retirement.

It gives lower returns than equity in long run.

Use it as a supporting instrument, not the main one.

Mutual Fund Investments
Your SIPs in multiple funds show good intent.

Monthly SIPs total Rs 14,000.

You are investing in both large cap and small cap.

SIPs are a smart way to build wealth.

Here are a few suggestions:

You are investing in four equity mutual funds.

Three are large cap or blue chip. One is small cap.

Do not invest in too many similar funds.

Large cap funds usually move in same pattern.

This leads to over-diversification with no added benefit.

Instead, choose one or two quality diversified funds.

Keep small cap fund for long term only.

Small caps are risky and volatile in short term.

Do not choose index funds.
They simply copy the market index.
They do not manage risk during market falls.
Actively managed funds are better in Indian market.
Fund managers pick quality stocks and reduce downside.
Active funds give better returns if selected with care.

Also, avoid direct mutual fund plans.
They may look cheaper, but come without proper guidance.
Many investors make emotional decisions in direct plans.
They miss rebalancing and portfolio correction.
Invest through regular plans via MFD who is also a CFP.
You get proper advice, reviews, and rebalancing support.
Good advice helps you avoid costly mistakes.

Investment Strategy – Next Steps
You can now structure your financial plan like this:

Short-Term Goals (0–3 years)

Keep emergency fund of at least 6 months’ expenses.

Use liquid fund or FD for upcoming expenses.

Do not invest this amount in equity mutual funds.

Medium-Term Goals (3–7 years)

Use hybrid mutual funds or balanced advantage funds.

These reduce risk with equity and debt mix.

You can invest some of the FD here.

Long-Term Goals (7+ years)

Use equity mutual funds – large, flexi-cap, small cap.

Do SIPs regularly and increase yearly if income rises.

Stick with long term. Don’t stop during market fall.

Tax Planning and Returns
PPF is already helping in 80C tax saving.

LIC also helps but with low return. Better to surrender it.

SIPs in equity mutual funds are tax-efficient.

New tax rule for mutual funds is now different:

Equity LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakhs is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed as per income slab.

Avoid FD as main investment. It gives fully taxable return.

Mutual funds are better after tax adjustment.

Retirement Planning
You are doing some investments but not enough for retirement.

You must plan retirement early for compounding.

PPF is safe but not enough. Use equity mutual funds more.

Estimate your future needs with a financial expert.

Invest with clear goal and timeline.

Child’s Education or Other Goals
You have not mentioned children or specific goals.

Start planning even if child is small.

Education inflation is very high.

Use SIPs in mutual funds for such goals.

Key Action Plan for You
Create emergency fund first. Use FD or liquid fund.

Surrender LIC Jeevan Anand. Invest money in mutual funds.

Stop RD. Start SIP of same amount in balanced mutual fund.

Continue SIPs. Reduce to 2–3 quality funds only.

Invest only through regular plans with CFP-led MFD.

Don’t choose direct plans or index funds.

Keep paying extra to home loan. But balance with investments.

Increase term insurance to at least Rs 1 crore.

Increase health cover with top-up plan.

Track all investments and goals annually.

Finally
You have started well. Your savings habit is good.
You are investing regularly and taking insurance protection.
But your portfolio needs better structure and focus.
Avoid mixing insurance and investment.
Avoid low return products for long term goals.
Use equity funds more through regular plans with CFP support.
Stick to plan for 10–15 years for wealth creation.
Do not panic during market falls. Stay invested.
Rebalance portfolio yearly with professional help.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x