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Can I Legally Protect My Daughter From Abuse During Divorce?

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
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I’m going through a divorce, while my wife still stays in the same house. She has been verbally & physically abusive with me, my parents and my 4 yr old daughter. At the same time she has refrained my daughter from interacting from any of us. It is so stressfull. My daughter & I used to have fun until a few months back playing endlessly and now she is not allowed to even look at me. Is there something that can be done on a legal front to handle this ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What sort of arrangement is this? If you anyway were planning to divorce and separate, then what is the meaning of living in the same house/
For the sake of the child, kindly, go by the terms of the divorce and live in different homes and agreeing to certain visitation rights to your child from both of you. Don't mess with the emotional environment of a little girl please.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |554 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I have a divorcee daughter aged 45 whose unpleasant and quarrelsome behavior is a constant source of misery and headache for whole of the family. Her marriage could not go beyond 2 months as her in-laws turned out to be greedy, troublesome and also found involved in some fraudulent activities with a few police cases against them -- which forced us to seek divorce. I may add that my daughter ever since she was 13 or 14 yrs became a little self-willed and considered her to be always right in action and thought in front of parents or any one else. This has become very serious now. She is not at all open to any kind of reasoning or discussion. If you always act, think or do as per her wish, it is ok otherwise she will start fighting on any thing or every thing. Her attitude of selfishness and always finding faults with other family members including parents is spoiling the peaceful atmosphere of the house. Expecting any kind of adjustment from her is asking for the moon. Kindly advise.
Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |554 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Relationship
Hi I am a married man with 2.4 years old daughter and my wife regularly fights with me and puts an allegation on me and blames me a thief and says I take out all her things and she also abuses my mother and at present my mother is staying alone some where and says that my mother should not come back and she fights with me in front of my daughter and uses abusive language and what ever is the situation she brings my mother in between the conversation and starts blaming me. She has thrown her out of the house and always keeps on fighting. I have a fear, that she might leave me or my daughter as I cannot stay without my daughter and she keeps on saying that I do not want to stay with you and after a heated moment she turns normal and again starts abusing me and my mother, and due to this I am not able to concentrate on my job as I keep on thinking all the times about what will happen. Kindly suggest me what should I do as I do not want to keep my daughter’s future on risk as she always keeps on saying that her brother will take care of her and her brother says he will take a different house for her somewhere else and will keep her there as I would also want to highlight that her brothers wife relation is also not good and she does not allows my wife to enter into her house and my mother is law is also disturbed. Kindly suggest me a solution...?
Ans: Dear Amit,
First, recognize that you need to establish a calm and safe environment for your daughter. Witnessing regular fights and hearing abusive language can affect her emotional development. Ensuring her well-being should be your top priority. When disagreements arise, try to de-escalate the situation, even if that means temporarily walking away to avoid heated exchanges. Protecting her from these conflicts will help create a more stable atmosphere.

Your wife's behavior—shifting between anger and normalcy—indicates that there might be underlying issues driving her actions. It could be unresolved frustrations, unmet expectations, or even external stressors affecting her emotions. While her way of expressing these feelings is not constructive, it's important to find a way to understand what’s fueling her anger. Having an open, non-confrontational conversation during a calm moment can be a starting point. Express your concerns about the impact of these fights on your relationship and your daughter, and make it clear that you want to work together to find solutions.

It may also be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or family mediator. A professional can provide a safe space for both of you to express your grievances and work on resolving them constructively. It sounds like trust and respect have eroded in your relationship, and rebuilding them requires mutual effort and clear communication.

At the same time, focus on managing your stress and mental health. The constant worry about the future and your daughter's well-being is understandably affecting your ability to concentrate on work. Practice self-care through activities that help you stay grounded, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or speaking with a trusted friend or counselor about your feelings. Taking care of yourself will help you approach these challenges with a clearer mind.

If your wife continues to threaten to leave or involve her family in ways that disrupt your peace, it’s important to consider all legal and practical options to protect your rights and ensure the best for your daughter. Consult a legal advisor to understand your rights as a father and the steps you can take to secure your daughter’s future if separation becomes unavoidable.

Ultimately, resolving this situation will require patience, empathy, and, most importantly, a focus on what’s best for your child. If both you and your wife are willing to work on the relationship, there is hope for improvement. However, if the environment remains toxic despite your efforts, prioritizing your daughter's emotional and physical safety should guide your decisions moving forward.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am 50 yrs male married for last 20 yrs, facing domestic abuse mentally, physically from my wife, she is extremely aggressive and use foul language in front of our 13 yrs daughter, family members, friends, maid, driver... she is keep blaming me if anything went wrong be it is financial, Social and economical . She always blame my parents with very abusive language.. she always say negative things in front of my family members for all the things which went wrong due to her extraordinary aggressive and abusive behavior, she always make issues out of normal conversation.. she is also working. She doesn't talk and whenever i try to ignore her, she physically abusive and use foul language with me.. i am trying to adjust with her for the sake of my daughter future. She is very negative, if i try to help her, she will start shouting and use abusive language and start physically abusive towards me I don't know how deal with strange behavior... I am confused and worried, but due family, daughter and society i am tolerating her. Pls help and suggest best possible solutions
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Has this started more recently or has it been going on for a while now? This is a good indicator to know if things were most;y like this or if any recent event has triggered this.
If it is a recent thing, I guess you could try and find out what exactly could have caused this. But if it is something that has been happening for a long time, the reasons could be any and many. Since there is also some physical abuse as you mentioned, kindly make an appointment with a professional who will be able to guide your wife through this challenging time. It possibly involves some unresolved things from the past which is making life currently difficult for all of you.
Work as a family unit together for her and not against her. It's going to make matters worse. She may refuse to go to a professional, then the only option left is for you to develop a lot of patience and deal with this adult to adult with her. No fights, quarrels with her but a lot of quiet conversations which she will initially resist but someday she will give in...So if you want the family to get back together in a healthy way, a lot also depends on how you are going to deal with the situation.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Janak

Janak Patel  |21 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 10, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 46 years old residing in a B Town in India. I have 2 daughters one 16 years old and second 7 years old. I have Savings of 25 Lakh in my account as emergency find. I have FD of 65 Lakhs. PF, PPF and NPS of 25 Lakhs, Mutual Fund and Shares of 25 Lakhs, Lic policies worth 25 Lakhs, Gold around 1.2 Crores. I have a medical insurance of 20 Lakhs for me and my family, Term insurance of 1Cr. As properties. I own 2 independent houses, 2 flats and 2 plots in Bangalore which has a current value of about 4.5 Cr. In my home town i have 2 Houses, 1 apartment and plots which has a current value of 2.75 Cr. Currently i am drawing a monthly salary of 2 Lakh rupees and get a rent of 30K/ month. I donot have any emi's and my monthly expenses is currently 75K. I am planning to retire at the age of 50. Is my financial condition stable to retire at the age of 50? Thanks for your suggestion in advance.
Ans: Hi,

Lets understand the value of your current Investments at the time of retirement. Below is the list with its current value and (expected rate of return).
Emergency Fund - 25 lakhs (3.5%)
Fixed Deposits - 65 lakhs (7%)
PF/PPF/NPS - 25 lakhs (8%)
MF/Stocks - 25 lakhs (10%)
LIC Policies - 25 lakhs (no change)
Your current investments listed above will achieve a value of 3.5 crore at the time of retirement 4 years from now.

Apart from this you have mentioned properties worth 7.25 Cr. Assuming you will only use/liquidate them if required, so excluding them from consideration for now.

You total income is 2.30 lakhs per month (includes rent) and expenses are 75k per month. So there is potential to add to the above investments for the next 4 years.

I will assume your current expenses are sufficient for the lifestyle you want to continue post retirement.
You will require a corpus on retirement after 4 years to sustain your expenses adjusted with inflation of 6% which will be close to 1 lakh per month (at the time of retirement).
With this starting point, and adjusting for inflation of 6% each year, and life expectancy of 30 years post retirement you need a corpus of approx. 2.5 crore - again assumed this will earn a return of 8% for the 30 years.
If you can invest wisely and generate a slightly higher return of say 10%, the corpus requirement will be 2 crore.

Your current investments at the time of retirement with value of 3.5 crore is sufficient to cover your expenses for the next 30 years inflation adjusted at 6%.
And this is excluding the properties you own and additional investments you can make for the next 4 years.

Summary - You are more than stable as far as your financial state is concerned. You have a strong base to meet your retirement needs and also a potential to create wealth for the generations ahead.

I want to highlight/recommend few points -
1. Increase the medical Insurance for yourself and family to 1Crore as medical expenses will only increase in future.
2. Stop the Term Life Insurance and save the premium for investment. As you have no liabilities and net-worth is high enough to cover any outcomes in life ahead, this premium is a lost cause considering your strong financial state.
3. Revisit the LIC Policies you have and consider surrendering/stopping them if they are not nearing their maturity. They are not giving you enough cover and providing below par returns. So do discuss with a trusted licensed advisor and evaluate them. If they will mature in the next 4 years, ignore this point.
4. Post retirement period is a long duration of 30 years, so do consider getting a good advisor - a Certified Financial Planner who can guide you to plan your retirement well and help you design a portfolio for additional wealth creation as a legacy for your children/dependents.


Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8098 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi, I have the following funds part of my SIP and the last 4 funds are my one time lump sum of 35K each and invested sometime in November last year. Are these good to hold (lump sum) and rest as SIP for another 5 years. 1 Kotak Flexicap Fund - Reg Gr 2 Kotak Flexicap Fund - Dir Gr 3 Tata Multi Asset Opp Dir Gr 4 TATA Nifty 50 Index Dir Pl 5 Technology Plan - Direct - Growth 6 Bandhan Sterling Value Fund-(Reg PIn) -Gr 7 Nifty Smallcap250 Quality 50 Index Fund - Dir - G 8 | HDFC Dividend Yield Direct Growth 9 Quant Large and Mid Cap Fund Direct Growth 10 Quant Multi Asset Fund Direct Growth 11 Groww Nifty Non Cyclical Consumer Index Fund Direct Growth 12 Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct Growth Thanks in advance for your guidance.
Ans: You have invested in multiple funds through SIP and lump sum. Holding them for the next 5 years is a good approach. However, it is important to check if your portfolio is diversified, aligned with your goals, and tax-efficient.

Overlap Between Funds
Your portfolio has multiple funds from the same category.

Too many similar funds do not improve returns but make tracking difficult.

Checking fund overlap can help avoid duplication.

Actively Managed vs Index Funds
You have index funds in your portfolio.

Index funds do not offer downside protection in market corrections.

Actively managed funds can outperform the index in volatile markets.

Switching from index funds to actively managed funds can improve growth.

Direct vs Regular Funds
You have invested in direct funds.

Direct funds may seem cheaper, but they lack expert guidance.

Investing through an MFD with CFP credentials ensures better selection and tracking.

Regular funds provide better decision-making support over time.

Sector-Specific and Thematic Funds
You hold a technology fund.

Sector funds are high-risk, as they depend on one industry’s performance.

If the sector underperforms, returns may be negative for years.

A diversified approach reduces risk compared to sector-based investing.

Smallcap and Midcap Allocation
You have smallcap and midcap funds.

These funds can be highly volatile in the short term.

Holding them for 5+ years is necessary to reduce risk.

Ensure you rebalance if the portfolio gets too aggressive.

Multi-Asset and Dividend Yield Funds
Multi-asset funds provide stability during market corrections.

Dividend yield funds are suitable for conservative investors.

These funds help in balancing the portfolio between risk and return.

Final Insights
Reduce overlapping funds and focus on fewer, well-performing funds.

Exit index funds and shift to actively managed funds for better growth.

Consider switching from direct funds to regular funds for expert tracking.

Keep sector funds below 10% of your portfolio to avoid concentration risk.

Continue SIPs in high-quality diversified funds for long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8098 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2025

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Money
Can I run my family with 15 k exp and 20k retirement income
Ans: You have a monthly retirement income of Rs 20,000 and expect monthly expenses of Rs 15,000. On paper, this looks manageable, but there are important financial factors to consider. Let us analyse whether this income will be sufficient for the long term.

Cost of Living and Inflation Impact
Expenses will increase over time due to inflation.

If inflation is 6% per year, your Rs 15,000 monthly expenses may double in 12 years.

If income remains Rs 20,000, the gap between income and expenses will widen.

Healthcare and Medical Costs
Medical expenses increase with age.

Even with health insurance, out-of-pocket medical costs can rise.

If a medical emergency arises, your savings could be depleted quickly.

Emergency Fund Requirement
A sudden family emergency can strain finances.

Having at least 2–3 years' worth of expenses in a liquid fund is necessary.

If you do not have an emergency fund, your retirement income may not be sufficient.

Unplanned Expenses and Lifestyle Changes
New financial needs may arise, such as helping family members or home repairs.

You may want to travel, pursue hobbies, or engage in social activities.

A fixed retirement income can make such expenses challenging.

Investment Strategy for Long-Term Security
To beat inflation, invest a portion of savings in growth-oriented assets.

A mix of equity and debt funds will help generate better returns.

A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from equity funds can provide a higher monthly income.

Alternative Income Sources
Consider part-time work, freelancing, or consulting if possible.

Rental income or dividends from investments can support retirement cash flow.

Final Insights
Rs 20,000 may be enough now, but inflation and rising costs can make it insufficient later.

A combination of investments, emergency funds, and alternate income sources will provide financial security.

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to sustain your retirement lifestyle.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8098 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I have about 28 lakhs invested in different MF. Now i want a SWP of 35000 per month from that total fund. Looking at the current market situation I was either thinking if dividing the fund between debt 30% and equity 70%. But instead of investing a lumpsum amounts will it make more sense to park all my funds in a dynamic debt fund and then every month do SIP of maybe one lakh each to equity fund or balanced fund. Also i would like to know what difference will it make in my investment returns between sip and lumpsum except ofcourse averageing the market volatility in case of SIP and getting more UNITS if done lumpsum.
Ans: You have Rs 28 lakh invested in mutual funds and want to withdraw Rs 35,000 per month through a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). You are considering whether to invest the corpus as a lump sum in a 70% equity – 30% debt allocation or to park the full amount in a debt fund and do an SIP of Rs 1 lakh per month into equity.

Your goal should be to generate stable withdrawals while preserving your capital and ensuring growth. Below is a structured approach to managing your funds wisely.

Understanding SWP and Its Impact on Your Corpus
SWP is a cash flow strategy, allowing regular withdrawals while the remaining corpus continues to grow.

The key challenge is to balance withdrawals and growth so that the corpus does not deplete too soon.

Investing in a mix of debt and equity will ensure stability while benefiting from market growth.

Option 1: Investing 70% in Equity and 30% in Debt
This allocation is suitable for long-term growth. Equity provides growth, while debt ensures stability.

A balanced portfolio helps manage volatility and ensures a steady SWP.

The downside is that a lump sum investment in equity exposes you to market fluctuations.

If the market falls after investing, the SWP may lead to selling equity at a lower value, reducing corpus longevity.

Option 2: Parking in a Debt Fund and Doing Monthly SIPs
This reduces market timing risk by investing gradually.

Debt funds provide low but steady returns, protecting the corpus while equity exposure increases.

SIPs spread the risk over time, ensuring better price averaging.

The downside is that debt funds provide lower returns, which may impact the final corpus.

SIP vs Lump Sum: Key Differences
SIP helps in market averaging, reducing the impact of volatility.

Lump sum investment can generate higher returns if the market performs well.

SIP is better for those worried about market crashes, while lump sum works well for long-term investors willing to take higher risks.

Best Strategy for You
A hybrid approach will work best:

Step 1: Park Rs 28 lakh in a low-duration or dynamic debt fund.

Step 2: Start an SIP of Rs 1 lakh per month into equity for 24–28 months.

Step 3: Withdraw Rs 35,000 per month from the debt fund until equity allocation builds up.

Step 4: After 2–3 years, rebalance to maintain a 60% equity – 40% debt allocation for stability.

Tax Implications of SWP
Withdrawals from equity funds held for over 1 year attract 12.5% tax on LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh.

Withdrawals before 1 year attract 20% STCG tax.

Withdrawals from debt funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Final Insights
A mix of debt and equity will ensure growth and stability in your SWP plan.

Parking the corpus in a debt fund first and then gradually shifting to equity is a safer approach.

Rebalancing every 2–3 years will help manage risk and sustain withdrawals.

Keep track of taxation to optimise post-tax returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8098 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello Sir, I am 46. Unemployed due to health reasons. I have 28 lakhs i want to invest in SWP . I need 35000 monthly. How long do I have before my fund runs out? How should I invest to make the most of it? I want my funds to appreciate as well to be atleast propionate to my need of 35000. Given- if i invest in lumpsum than I get higher number of units and if i take the SIP route it can negate the market volatility. Looking at the current market scanerio i believe it may take couple of years to see proper returns. I was also thinking of pooling the entire corpus in Aggressive debt funds and then do a SIP to an actively managed equity fund. Under these circumstances please provide fund names also. Thanks in advance.
Ans: You are 46 and unemployed due to health reasons. You need Rs 35,000 per month from your investments. Your goal is to make your funds last longer while allowing growth.

Let us analyse your options and create a plan.

Assessing Your Requirement
You need Rs 4.2 lakh per year (Rs 35,000 x 12 months).

Your corpus is Rs 28 lakh.

If you withdraw Rs 4.2 lakh annually without growth, your funds will last less than 7 years.

You need growth to sustain withdrawals for a longer period.

Challenges with a High SWP Rate
A SWP of 15% per year (Rs 4.2 lakh from Rs 28 lakh) is too high.

Safe withdrawal rates are usually 4-6% per year.

A high withdrawal rate will deplete your corpus fast.

Investment Strategy for SWP
You need a mix of equity and debt to balance growth and stability.

Step 1: Allocate Corpus Wisely
Equity (50%): Invest for growth.
Debt (50%): Keep funds for the next 5-6 years of withdrawals.
This approach helps maintain stability while allowing long-term appreciation.

Step 2: SWP from Debt Funds
Start your SWP from debt funds to avoid withdrawing from volatile equity investments.

Debt funds provide stability and minimise short-term risk.

This ensures your equity investments have time to grow.

Step 3: Systematic Transfer to Equity
Keep your equity allocation in a flexi-cap or multi-cap fund for diversification.

Invest in a systematic transfer plan (STP) from a debt fund to an equity fund.

This reduces market timing risk and balances volatility.

Expected Corpus Longevity
If your portfolio grows at 8-10% annually, your funds may last 10-12 years.

If the market performs well, your funds may last longer.

A lower withdrawal rate will further extend sustainability.

Alternative Options to Sustain Your Corpus
Reduce withdrawals: If possible, lower monthly expenses to Rs 25,000-30,000.

Part-time income: If health permits, explore work-from-home or passive income options.

Medical emergency fund: Keep at least Rs 2 lakh aside for medical needs.

Review investments: Rebalance every year to maintain growth and stability.

Final Insights
Your current withdrawal rate is high.

A balanced equity-debt approach can extend the longevity of your corpus.

Use SWP from debt funds and STP to equity for better returns.

Monitor the portfolio regularly to ensure sustainability.

If possible, reduce withdrawals slightly to make the corpus last longer.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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